Wedding Invitations & Paper

When can you put And Family?

When is it appropriate to put and family? I'm not really close to any of my cousins so I was thinking about  just addressing the Invites to the parents and then putting and family. Some of the cousins are over 18 and don't live with their parents but since I'm not close to them I don't even know where they live. What do you girls think? I'm also trying to keep numbers down and really don't want them to bring a guest, is this horrible?

Re: When can you put And Family?

  • I think "and family" is pretty generic, if you're trying to keep numbers down, it would be better not to use it.

    Can you find out the addresses of your cousins through your aunts and uncles?
  • There's no time that 'and family' is appropriate on a wedding invitation.

    You'll need to get the names of your cousins for place cards, notes, etc.

    Find out their names and ages and address the invitations appropriately.
  • If you don't want them to bring guests you definitely need to put the names of who is invited, because they can interpret and family however they like, including saying that their daughter's best friend who is over at their house all the time is basically family.

    However, do you know if any of these people are in serious relationships?  Because if they are, you need to invite their SOs.  And if they are over 18 and don't live at home, they really need to receive their own invitations where they live.  Enlist your parents to find out all the information you need.
    Married 10/2/10
  • This was a big problem we had.  FI's family's list had and family written on it, and it was for his grandmothers siblings.  I told his mom and grandma that I refused to send them out with and family, and I would be happy to invite everyone they wanted but that I needed all of their names.  They weren't understanding what I was saying , so FI made the executive decision to just cut out the & family and only invite the grandma's brothers and their spouse.  Now weeks after invites came out we found out that a cousin of his mother was told months ago that she was invited and had made plans to attend, but never got an invite since they never gave us her name.  So we had to add her on after. 

    The only way I think it is acceptable to write & family is if it is a family with young kids so there is no question and you are inviting all of them.  Once they kids are into their teens and older you can't do that.  Just to give you an example of what you can get yourself into:  if someone were to send an invite to my grandparents saying Mr & Mrs __________ & family, they could get the response card back with over 40 people on it.  They have 8 kids, who all have kids, and us older grandkids are engaged and in serious relationships ourselves. 

    Don't do it unless you have a very flexible guest list and don't care if your 3rd cousins 14 year old boyfriend shows up or something like that.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • Thank you everyone! I will list everyone's name out on the invitation!
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