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Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR - FI's family are hoarders

My FI's family lives in NYC, and we moved down to DC in August. I had assumed we would just stay here for Thanksgiving, but last week FI said his dad offered to pay for a hotel for us if we wanted to come up for Thanksgiving. 

I wasn't entirely stoked on the idea because a) we have a dog, b) I mentioned in a different thread that nothing vegetarian is ever made for me and if we're in a hotel I can't really make something to bring, c) all of my friends in NYC are going home for the holiday so I won't be able to visit with anyone, and d) it's a lot of driving to do in such a short period of time. But whatever, I'll go if FI wants to go. 

Then FI talks to his dad after we found out hotels are about $400/night + pet fees since it's a holiday, FI won't stay in certain areas of the city, etc, etc. So, then we weren't going again. Fine. 

Now FI's mom just called a few minutes ago, and she's promising she'll clean the apartment enough that we could stay there. 

::deep breath::

Let me explain: FI's parents are hoarders. I'm not exaggerating. It's just garbage everywhere. They live in Tribeca about 3 blocks north of the World Trade Center, and they lived through 9/11. One time FI and I were house sitting a couple years ago and I decided to clean the kitchen. I found items with expiration dates from pre-9/11. There were dead little bugs all over the inside of the fridge (which I had to pry open becaue it was covered in sticky syrup). I had to use a broom to brush about a foot of garbage off the stove. I then cleaned the bathroom and found mayonaise containers? 

I think just from the kitchen and 1 bathroom I threw out about 25 bags of garbage. Underneath it all I found the entire floor was covered in black mold. 

It took a week for it to get back to being covered in garbage. Because they don't. own. any. garbage. cans. 

FI's parents live in a HUGE apt in Tribeca. They are quite wealthy. They refuse to hire someone to clean. They refuse to clean. His three brothers live at home and also refuse to throw anything away. There is now a large dog living there as well. 

There are 3 bathrooms, and typically only one toilet, one shower, and one sink (all in different bathrooms) work in the house. 

Moreover, our dog is a dachshund. She's so low to the ground and so curious - it's just not safe. 

I can tell FI wants us to go. This is the house he grew up in. But he has asthma, and everytime we go back there it's WEEKS of dealing with the repercussions. 

His mom has said before that she'll clean for various holidays/events, but it never happens. I love his mom. She's great, and we have a great relationship. You would never think she's a hoarder if you knew her. Ditto his dad. But lo and behold, first time I went over I walked out covered in BBQ sauce from the couch? 

Sigh, I digress.

Anyway, FI's mom really wants us to go. I can tell FI wants to go. I think it is an incredibly bad idea. And I just feel stuck. Like, I'm not prissy. I'm seriously not a neat freak in the slightest. I was probably a hoarder as a child myself. I used to cry when my mom would vacuum for fear she'd accidentally get something important. But this isht is insane! 

Dare I ask if anyone has any advice? 
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Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:4029ca70-3a18-45a9-9b55-064f376b122a">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]When my h and I go visit his parents, we stay in a hotel. Always. We pay for it ourselves. Problem solved.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Right. But I don't want to go. And we don't have $1000 lying around. </div>
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  • If you don't feel comfortable about staying there, I don't think you should. There are risks and health issues that you have to face by staying there. I say either get a hotel, or don't go. Would your FI consider going himself? Or could you invite them down? 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:629881f5-1863-49e4-95d9-4bba85e609c7">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't feel comfortable about staying there, I don't think you should. There are risks and health issues that you have to face by staying there. I say either get a hotel, or don't go. Would your FI consider going himself? Or could you invite them down? 
    Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

    <div>Splitting up isn't an option. Nor is them coming down here because they feel obligated to go to FI's aunt's house for the holiday.</div>
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  • Sorry I'm no help then. I personally wouldn't stay there, it doesn't sound like it's worth the trade off. I'd say either stay in a hotel or don't do. 
  • Why is staying home while he goes not an option? Seems to be the only thing that would make everyone not miserable. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:25f33314-f5bb-4200-859d-74435f4b18d3">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why is staying home while he goes not an option? Seems to be the only thing that would make everyone not miserable. 
    Posted by warpedredpenguin[/QUOTE]

    <div>I know literally not a single person in this city, so leaving me home by myself on Thanksgiving wouldn't exactly make me not miserable.... sorry if that sounds selfish? If he wants to go without me, I won't stop him, though. </div>
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    Honestly, your ILs need serious help.   And maybe not being able to see their son on Thanksgiving because their home ENDANGERS HIS HEALTH will get them to reassess their situation.  

    My parents are borderline hoarders as well.   They have a cleaning lady who sucks (I still find ants in my mom's kitchen every time I visit).  Fortunately they're not as bad as your ILs yet, but it wouldn't take much for them to descend into that....and it terrifies me.  I almost can't visit them anymore because of the clutter and the flith.  

    Maybe you could lodge your doggie in DC to save money on hotel pet fees?   That might make it possible to stay in a hotel....I know it doesn't solve the bigger issue though.
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  • I had a friend in high school who's parents were hoarders.  They literally had the single path through the house thing going on, and found a cat they thought had run away dead under their couch two years later.  Getting out of that house was the best thing that happened to my friend!  

    Would it be possible to stay at one of your friend's places instead of a hotel?  I know you said they won't be there, but at least it would be a clean place to stay.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:c7dd3eac-d03f-49f6-9a96-b91003236fde">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had a friend in high school who's parents were hoarders.  They literally had the single path through the house thing going on, and found a cat they thought had run away dead under their couch two years later.  Getting out of that house was the best thing that happened to my friend!   <strong>Would it be possible to stay at one of your friend's places instead of a hotel?</strong>  I know you said they won't be there, but at least it would be a clean place to stay.  
    Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is potentially a great idea - you could house/pet-sit for a friend going out of town in exchange for getting to stay in their apartment/house with your doggie for free.  Friends get free pet-sitting, you get a not-hoarded home to stay in, and FI has an easy out with his mom, since "no, we can't stay, we're pet-sitting for Jim and Lucy" is a lot nicer than saying "emee and I can't stay in your filthy hoarder house."</div><div>
    </div><div>It doesn't solve the larger problem, which is that on some level your FI <em>actually thinks it might be okay</em> to stay in the filthy hoarder house, but it gets you through the next two weeks relatively drama-free.</div>
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  • Are you uncomfortable staying in a hotel if they will still pay for it?  The asthma would be a dealbreaker for me--can your FI say that their place (maybe the new dog?  my H has asthma and now a mild dog allergy) will not be healthy for him, but he wants to talk to his dad about his previous offer for a hotel room?  Or do you think that's off the table?

    This is a post and run, but commiseration from another person who's being pressured to drive up w/dog from DC to NYC to stay in a hotel for an awkward meal.  
  • I'm thinking that what might be great for you two is a short-term rental.  So you would rent a fully furnished, ready-to-go residence nearby for a few nights, with no pet fees, and then you could invite your FILS over!Smile  Tell them that you really look forward to cooking for them and hosting them for a change while also being able to have a place for your pet without incurring a ton of fees for them so this would be a good way to have both.  You're coming off as being really thoughtful this way, which you obviously are or you wouldn't be asking for help.

    Here are a couple of sites that might get you started though I cannot personally vouch for either of them.  There are tons more if you Google them.  Prices vary but they're cheaper than hotels when you factor in taxes and pet fees.  Plus you can save by cooking and some include maid service and other amenities.  Your comfort level is just as important as your FI and decisions like this can set the tone for what happens in years to come.  But you're trying to compromise so that's great.  Good luck!

    http://www.rentals.chsnyc.com/properties.htm
    www.short-stay-homes.com
  • How close are you to your friends that live in NYC?  Since they will be out of town, maybe one of them will let you stay at their apartment.  Bring a nice gift for them and leave their apartment spotless and there you go.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:f4ed7462-db28-4162-843b-888de9d1e298">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]How close are you to your friends that live in NYC?  Since they will be out of town, maybe one of them will let you stay at their apartment.  Bring a nice gift for them and leave their apartment spotless and there you go.
    Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]

    I mostly like this idea too.  But I'm a bit concerned that it might not be sustainable over the long term as they are beginning to solidify what their routines will be from year to year (not including when kids arrive) when friends' plans change.  Also, I'm personally skittish/paranoid about using another friend's home in case they are touchy about anything that could potentially affect the friendship.  A short-term rental avoids this because it's impersonal and part of a business contract even though it's another person's residence.  And the prices I saw included those as low as $200 a night, which comes in under $1,000 for three nights.  But of course it's totally up to whatever is in your comfort zone.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:d214a971-5f21-4986-98a9-174a4018cd05">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders : I mostly like this idea too.  But I'm a bit concerned that it might not be sustainable over the long term as they are beginning to solidify what their routines will be from year to year (not including when kids arrive) when friends' plans change.  Also, I'm personally skittish/paranoid about using another friend's home in case they are touchy about anything that could potentially affect the friendship.  <strong>A short-term rental avoids this because it's impersonal and part of a business contract even though it's another person's residence.  And the prices I saw included those as low as $200 a night, which comes in under $1,000 for three nights.</strong>  But of course it's totally up to whatever is in your comfort zone.
    Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

    I'm pretty sure those are illegal in NYC.
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  • Regardless of if you would stay at their apartment or not...how on earth could you eat a meal there? That place sounds so disgusting.

  • In Response to Re:NWR FI's family are hoarders:[QUOTE]Regardless of if you would stay at their apartment or not...how on earth could you eat a meal there? That place sounds so disgusting. Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

    This. Regardless of where you stay, they cannot be cooking a meal in sanitary conditions. I understand your FI's wanting to see/spend the holiday with his family, but I'm seriously concerned that he is putting that desire before your health and wishes as his future wife. I would have a sitdown with him, and if he insists on going, make a point by staying home and letting him do so himself. Under NO circumstances would I subject myself, my partner, or my innocent pets to such conditions! Also, you say they have a dog? Call animal control. Those are NOT conditions to be keeping a dog, and perhaps animal control showing up at the door and taking the dog will be a wakeup call and put them on the path to getting the help they need.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:69207899-f230-41a7-8940-b75b613a9fdd">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders : I'm pretty sure those are illegal in NYC.
    Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]
    Darn. Yup, you're right.  I checked and the law was just changed last year to make them illegal.  Ah well, if that's the case then trip advisor suggests using <a href="http://www.betterbidding.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.betterbidding.com/</a>.  This allows you to negotiate on hotel prices.  When I went on the Priceline section of the site it was saying that the median accepted bid for where OP wants to stay is $289 right now.  But I don't know what that would be with taxes and pet fees.  There's just nothing like having a clean space when you're out of town. Me and FI are going to visit his parents for Xmas in England but they're just the opposite of hoarders and hate any signs of dust.  Otherwise I would insist we figure something out like a short term rental there where I don't think it's illegal.
  • Wow. My FIL is a hoarder but at least 1) MIL isn't (though I would be scared if she died before he did) and 2) they have a cleaning person. They also have, like, 5 pets. So their house itsn't dangerous, it's just extremely cluttered. Like you can't use the smallest bedroom/computer room because of all the stuff, so we sleep in the sun room. For 5 nights. Starting Monday.

    I also consider it a deal breaker to split up for holidays. There's no one I'd rather spend a holiday with more than my H. After all, I chose to be married to him, and I surely didn't choose any family members!

    I'm so sorry. I wouldn't go. I can't even imagine if my in-laws had actual garbage and black mold in their house.

    This has to be a mental issue. They really need help. I'm sorry, I have no idea how to deal with this.
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  • emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited November 2012
    So... clearly I'm the one that likes to stay up late and then sleep in. To answer a lot of the above:

    FI's dad... it's entirely random when he feels like paying for things.  I think when he said he'd pay for a hotel, he had a different number in mind. I think he was just trying to be courteous in some capacity - he has a tendency to do things he thinks he should. FI has a tendency to not want to have to ask his dad for things. (Somehow his dad is supposed to mind read what's important to FI, I guess.) 

    We were all fine not having us go up until FI's mom got involved. 

    Convo when we were still thinking about staying in a hotel:
    Me: Wait, do you want to go up for Thanksgiving?
    FI: Not really.
    Me: So, why are we going?
    FI: Because my family wants us to. 

    So, FI's mom grew up very poor in Harlem. She's about 18 years younger than FI's dad. (ETA: she's extremely smart; she got her law degree from a top 5 law school before FI was born, and she said passing the bar was the easiest thing she's ever done, but she never practiced. FI's dad is the practicing lawyer.) She's been a stay at home mom all of FI's life taking care of FI and his 3 younger brothers. And she has this sort of mentality that she can do anything herself. She won't replace sneakers until the duct tape around them has worn off about 5 times. So, now she's saying she'll clean the house, and we're all just supposed to believe that she will. But she won't. I've been through this before. I know what their version of clean is, and it does not count. 

    Anyway, it looks like FI knows it's a bad idea. I'm a little worried, but he says he's going to hold out telling his mom as long as possible that we're not going in hopes that she will actually clean (he's going to request photos?), but that we won't go unless the apartment is legit clean.

    (For everyone who asked about friends' apartments: none of their buildings are dog friendly, and our dog just would not do well being away from us. She's a bit crazy that way.)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:f2744c5a-b32b-4da1-966e-1aa7431c7dba">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders : It sounded like they'd be eating at the aunt's house, not the parent's home.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. We have to trek an hour+ out to Long Island for dinner. Which I won't be able to eat. :) Hooray! </div><div>
    </div><div><em>And</em>, Aunt has 2 kids, both are engaged. And one of FI's younger brothers is also engaged. And the entire family is oddly competetive. It just sounds.... so fun...</div>
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  • edited November 2012
    Side note, if you were going to book a hotel, do it ASAP.  There are still thousands of people displaced because of Sandy, and I've heard rumors that there are literally no hotel rooms available in the NYC metro area as a result (although I don't know if there are truly none at all or if the people saying "there are no hotels!" really mean "there are no hotels that aren't $1000 a night").

    ETA: Nevermind, sounds like you're not going.  Also, not to be unkind, but if your dog has that severe separation anxiety, it's something you should address with your vet.  You can't guarantee you're never ever going to need to board her or leave her with a pet sitter ever for the next 12-14 years, that's just ridiculous.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:53f27b52-10c8-4f3e-aeff-28d8e6bd7b1c">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]Side note, if you were going to book a hotel, do it ASAP.  There are still thousands of people displaced because of Sandy, and I've heard rumors that there are literally no hotel rooms available in the NYC metro area as a result (although I don't know if there are truly none at all or if the people saying "there are no hotels!" really mean "there are no hotels that aren't $1000 a night"). ETA: Nevermind, sounds like you're not going.  Also, not to be unkind, but if your dog has that severe separation anxiety, it's something you should address with your vet.  You can't guarantee you're never ever going to need to board her or leave her with a pet sitter ever for the next 12-14 years, that's just ridiculous.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    <div>As of last night there were plenty of hotels in Midtown East and Midtown West. It's true that above 50th street you get into the $800+ range pretty easily. And there are definitely fewer than there typically would be. But yeah, hotels definitely might get taken off the table just by that. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:f6aadf75-08b2-493a-8407-39db375841c9">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders : Somehow, I think spending a holiday ALL ALONE in a city you don't know well is a little different than your H being out of town at a normal time and when I assume you have some sort of social network around.  Not to mention, who on earth finds spending the holidays away from their SO "no big deal"?
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, I mean, I can certainly <em>deal</em> with it, but it's not ideal at all. </div><div>
    </div><div>But double also, FI really doesn't want to drive 4-6 hours by himself each way. I don't blame him. </div>
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  • I live in NYC and work down near Wall Street, and it's a mess down here.

    I think you need to put your foot down: "FI, I am not going anywhere near your parents' apartment because of the risk to my health, and I want the topic taken off the table.  If you want to spend your own time with them, that's one thing, but I am not going there, with or without you, let alone eating there."
  • Why on earth can't the aunt make anything vegetarian? She can just use veggie broth instead of chicken broth in the stuffing and/or mashed potatoes.

    I'm beginning to appreciate my in-laws more and more! MIL actually asked what I wanted to eat for Thanksgiving and usually makes an separate, vegetarian, special dish.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:a609672f-e7e3-46d8-b965-aabd9be0dd7f">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why on earth can't the aunt make anything vegetarian? She can just use veggie broth instead of chicken broth in the stuffing and/or mashed potatoes. I'm beginning to appreciate my in-laws more and more! MIL actually asked what I wanted to eat for Thanksgiving and usually makes an separate, vegetarian, special dish.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's one of those, "Oh, it's just CHICKEN BROTH! Why can't you eat that??" sort of things. Or they'll - and this is really fun - put nuts in things that I could normally eat, but FI is deathly allergic so if I kiss him... yeah. Good effing times. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:99c65510-68b1-4d5c-b284-726b6cf6547e">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you have a few issues here: 1. Lodging: Can you stay in Brooklyn or Staten Island and then take public transit over to visit with the in-laws? You could also try to find stuff on AirBnB.com, they usually have whole apartments or a guest room in someone's home, and since it is all private, things like pets are pretty negotiable. 2. Food: Part of being a good host is making sure your guests needs are taken care of. It is rude to call us and demand stuff, but I think a gentle reminder from FI to his aunt that you don't eat x,y,z and he wants to make sure you will have something you can eat there would be okay. See how that goes over and then decide. Everyone's family is weird, and it is hard to get used to the other flavors of weird, but such is married life.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>We've been together for about 5 years, and they're Jewish so the holidays seem to be more frequent/abundant than in my family (we just do Thanksgiving and Christmas). Not to mention family get togethers in general. They know I'm vegetarian, they just don't get it, and I'm sort of sick of pushing it. </div><div>
    </div><div>Staten Island I'm fairly certain would not work, lol, considering everything that has happened there. Plus FI would never stay anywhere other than Manhattan. A regular conversation is the following:</div><div>
    </div><div>Me: Why does XYZ person I just met but you went to high school with seem so different than your other friends from high school?</div><div>FI: Because he/she grew up in Brooklyn/Queens</div><div>Me: That doesn't make sense</div><div>FI: Yes it does</div><div>
    </div><div>Fun times ^^</div><div>
    </div><div>Additionally, he believes there's some sort of hipster mafia out to get him in Brooklyn. (Only partially joking.) </div><div>
    </div>
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  • I think if you can swing it, I would try to do the drive all in one day. It SUUUUUUCKS but it might be the easiest for everyone.
  • emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:c3dc63e4-7c29-450c-a6c3-2096af361b9b">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if you can swing it, I would try to do the drive all in one day. It SUUUUUUCKS but it might be the easiest for everyone.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    <div>But then one of us would have to remain sober at a family holiday ;)</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: the winky face so you know I jest</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fis-family-are-hoarders?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc217018-cea0-46eb-93a2-4e6fe46c67ebPost:fe245052-c441-4ca5-92a3-81a14169ade5">Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - FI's family are hoarders : Well then, if he isn't willing to compromise, I wouldn't be willing either. Maybe you two should talk it out. I would be pretty upset at my family if they didn't care about my husband's comfort at family gatherings.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>They serve things with nuts in them when he's deathly allergic. Apparently its just par for the course. But yeah, we've had these conversations. They're comedic but not particularly productive. </div>
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