Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
What do you think of breaking this tradition?
So, it's normal wedding tradtion to have the groom's friends and family sit on one side during the ceremony and have the bride's friends and family sit on the other. I don't like this at all. We have so many mutual friends and yes, some of them are clearly more his friend that mine or vice versa, but there are some who it's really hard to determine which of us is a better friend with that person. One example is a girl who was a "little sister" in his fraternity in college, and I didn't know her very well at the time, but then later we ended up being co-workers. My fiance and I are neither extemely close to her, but we were both friends with her in our own way, and I wouldn't be able to tell your whether or not she's his friend or mine. We have several people on our guest list like that. In my opinion it's almost absurd for a cermony representing togetherness and joining of two people to force the guests to CHOOSE a side. I have never been in this situation at any of the very few weddings I've been to, but I can imagine that if I knew both the bride and groom equally well I might be scared I would offend the one if I sat on the side for the other. And I would hate to put anyone in that situation.
I also feel like it's almost like a competition to see who has more support. My fiance is Mexican, so he's already going to have alot more family than me! Haha. And in college he was much more of a social person than I was, because I focused more on my studies, so as a result he will probably have more of "his" friends than I will. But over the years we've each gotten to know most of each other's friends to the point where each person should be coming to "Hollie AND Xavier's wedding" wedding not "Hollie's wedding" or "Xavier's Wedding".
I don't get offended easily, so it doesn't matter to me if someone chooses his side over mine or whatever, but I just don't want to make anyone feel like they have to choose between us.
We're planning on having a circular setup during the ceremony anyway, and of course we'll have to have some sort of isle for us to walk down, but maybe have the back part of the circle be joined and hopefully we can encourage people to sit whereever they like and not choose a side.
Does anyone agree with me on the way this tradition kind of contradicts the purpose of the ceremony? Or am I just crazy? Haha.
I also feel like it's almost like a competition to see who has more support. My fiance is Mexican, so he's already going to have alot more family than me! Haha. And in college he was much more of a social person than I was, because I focused more on my studies, so as a result he will probably have more of "his" friends than I will. But over the years we've each gotten to know most of each other's friends to the point where each person should be coming to "Hollie AND Xavier's wedding" wedding not "Hollie's wedding" or "Xavier's Wedding".
I don't get offended easily, so it doesn't matter to me if someone chooses his side over mine or whatever, but I just don't want to make anyone feel like they have to choose between us.
We're planning on having a circular setup during the ceremony anyway, and of course we'll have to have some sort of isle for us to walk down, but maybe have the back part of the circle be joined and hopefully we can encourage people to sit whereever they like and not choose a side.
Does anyone agree with me on the way this tradition kind of contradicts the purpose of the ceremony? Or am I just crazy? Haha.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition?
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
Remembering Robby
Bloggy Mel.
[QUOTE]I get the feeling you wouldn't mind the traditional sides if you were set to "win" the imagined contest.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
She could hire seat fillers. "Yes. That IS SO my Aunt Bunny. And her 17 adopted children. Gosh, Xavier. It's not a contest". Tradition meets innovation. You have it.
Bloggy Mel.
Bloggy Mel.
Bloggy Mel.
Bloggy Mel.
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
[QUOTE]Hang on. Does free bread not realize that I'm mocking the op for her gross over generalization about the reproductive habits of an entire country? Because I'm probably coming off pretty racist here if that piece of this puzzle fell through the cracks.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
<div>Yeah....it actually sounded like you were accusing freebread of having the huge family. If someone didn't know you it might have looked bad.</div><div>
</div><div>Freebread, Mel is the coolest chica around here. And def not a racist.</div>
Fatty Blog
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : She could hire seat fillers. "Yes. That IS SO my Aunt Bunny. <strong>And her 17 adopted children.</strong> Gosh, Xavier. It's not a contest". Tradition meets innovation. You have it.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
<div>You never know when someone's going to bust out with adopted children or something....</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : You never know when someone's going to bust out with adopted children or something....
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]
Why are you being so weird?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : So are you related?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>Oh, I have half sisters, half brothers, biological grandparents, cousins, etc. </div><div>
</div><div>*Edited because that actually may have offended someone.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : Why are you being so weird?
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you being for real?
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : No I meant the person who emailed you. *Edited quote
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>Ha yes! Real half sister! At first I thought it was a FB scam lol.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : That's pretty cool!
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
It IS pretty cool :) I just feel bad for my mom having to deal with me asking if I was adopted for years and years and years.
OP, sorry for the threadjack. Just don't do sides, nothing to worry about.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you think of breaking this tradition? : Was she afraid to tell you? (Are you comfortable talking about all this?)
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
Parents didn't want to tell me when I was a kid--my mom was a teacher and hated it when she'd hear parents say "You know so and so was adopted?!" to explain behavioral problems. They didn't want to tell me when I was a teenager, since I was a PITA teenager as it already was. I moved across the country for college, so also not a good time to tell me.
My mom read somewhere that the human brain is done developing at 27 and best able to cope with big news at that age...so she wanted to tell me at 27. (If you knew my mom, that explanation would totally make sense). I guess she was right, since it didn't seem like a big deal. I'm not at all uncomfortable talking about it--I think its a great story and I wish that more people would adopt. I'm a big believer in nurture over nature.
[QUOTE]Hey Drama! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>Hey! Yeah, things got busy at work. I feel like I'm drowning already and the play doesn't even open for a month and a half!</div>
[QUOTE]No. I'm not real.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
That's ok. I figured everyone on here was fake anyways. Cyber-bots or something.