Groomswoman at Bachelor party?

geckos241 · June 2012

Help.. Not sure what to do. My groom has a female friend as a groomswoman. His best man which is also the groomswoman ex-boyfriend is starting plans for the bachelor party. I do not think it’s appropriate for her to attend the bachelor party. They are going away to a pre-season football game in Atlanta. She is a big football fan as well. I just think it’s a guy’s trip and if the other guys find out a girl is coming along, they wouldn’t be themselves and none of them will want to room w/ her and would be inappropriate for her to share a bed w/ anyone. And I’m sure a strip club will be involved in the plans. I’ve already invited her to my bachelorette party. Of course my groom doesn’t care. There is nothing in planning our wedding he actually does care about. Groom’s brother & best man also agree w/ me. I just think my groom should give her the heads up nicely that she can't attend. Thoughts, ideas?

aragx6 · June 2012

That's nonsense and it shouldn't be your decision. If she's closest to him, why wouldn't she go with the guys? I've been to many a football game and strip club. And why would she have to share a bed with anyone? If she's uncomfortable surely she can get her own room.

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

Butt out. It's between him and whoever throws the party who attends and what happens there. None of it is any of your business. If the other guys are uncomfortable with having a girl there, they can speak for themselves.

mbcdefg · June 2012

It's not your place to assume what any of these people would/would not be comfortable with.

It's not your place to tell your fiance or the best man who can be invited to the bachelor party, or what activities can and cannot take place.

It's not your place to dictate how these men or this woman lead their lives. They are all adults and they can certainly speak up if they are uncomfortable with a decision ... they don't need you to make that decision for them. You are not their mommy.

If you are SO unnerved by any of these factors (meaning, if you view this woman as a threat to your marriage or if you think the presence of a female at the bachelor party would lead your fiance to do something you don't agree with), then you need to put the wedding plans on hold and work out these issues. The issues are the real problem here, not this woman herself. If you trust your fiance and if you recognize that everyone else is not your responsibility, there is absolutely no reason on earth why you should be objecting to this.

In short, butt out.

LD1970 · June 2012

I've been to a bachelor party and it was totally comfortable. Just happened that my sister and I were good friends with the groom (still are, in fact, and he's coming to a party at my house on the 23rd, all the way from Houston) so we were invited to join the guys. We had a blast.

This is a freakin' football game. I'd love to go. And if a strip club is involved (which, by the way, isn't required for a bach party), it's the girl's choice if she wants to go. I'd go if my friends were into that sort of thing. Who cares?

I've also been able to platonically share rooms and even beds with male friends.

You're making way too many assumptions & sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

Fancypantsamy · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomswoman-at-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d10632ee-9177-4906-b207-49b181475453Post:1176f3f3-4a4b-4d9c-adf3-27a465ff4bda">Groomswoman at Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]Help.. Not sure what to do. My groom has a female friend as a groomswoman. His best man which is also the groomswoman ex-boyfriend is starting plans for the bachelor party. I do not think it’s appropriate for her to attend the bachelor party. They are going away to a pre-season football game in Atlanta. She is a big football fan as well. I just think it’s a guy’s trip and if the other guys find out a girl is coming along, they wouldn’t be themselves and none of them will want to room w/ her and would be inappropriate for her to share a bed w/ anyone. And I’m sure a strip club will be involved in the plans. I’ve already invited her to my bachelorette party. Of course my groom doesn’t care. There is nothing in planning our wedding he actually does care about. <strong>Groom’s brother & best man also agree w/ me. I just think my groom should give her the heads up nicely that she can't attend. </strong>Thoughts, ideas?
Posted by geckos241[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I have a question - has anyone told you this girl is invited to the bachelor party? It sounds like you're getting all upset about something that isn't even a problem yet, and might not be a problem. You should probably relax a little and let things actually happen before getting upset. If the Best Man agrees with you and is hosting the party, I'm assuming that means he's not inviting her, so why worry? If you get all worked up about it, people will think you're insecure. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, it would be extremely rude for your FI to tell her specifically that she's not invited unless she asks. I'm pretty sure this will all be a non-issue.</div><div>
</div>

bonge · June 2012

If the groom is close enough to the groomswoman that he asked her to be on his side which means she should be included in all their activities. You sound jealous. There is nothing wrong iwth a member of his party to go to a football game with them & out after, as long as she has her own hotel room then there should be no issue. The best man wouldn't want her there of course because she is his ex. Not including her because she is femal is a pretty crappy move on anyone's part.

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

My best friend is a guy. We've been best friends for over 30 years, and I've gone to strip bars with him and my other male friends.(I only have 2 really close girl friends, but the majority of my friends are male) I had a blast and so did they. I've also slept in the same bed with him, and he stuck to his side and I to mine. He snores like crazy.

I also LOVE football. It's okay for girls to love football.

It's no big deal and you shouldn't be making a big deal out of it. This gal is your FI's best friend, let it be.

Simply Fated · June 2012

"I just think its a guys trip and if the other guys find out a girl is coming along, they wouldnt be themselves and none of them will want to room w/ her and would be inappropriate for her to share a bed w/ anyone." It's none of your business. This is your fiance's party, not yours. I'm sure she's considered the possibility she'll end up bunking by herself. It's not something you need to deal with, though.

ajmom2two · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomswoman-at-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d10632ee-9177-4906-b207-49b181475453Post:45a17abe-5284-471c-9e69-973a02b4f808">Re: Groomswoman at Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's nonsense and it shouldn't be your decision. If she's closest to him, why wouldn't she go with the guys? I've been to many a football game and strip club. And why would she have to share a bed with anyone? If she's uncomfortable surely she can get her own room.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All of this^^^

</div>

GoodLuckBear14 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomswoman-at-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d10632ee-9177-4906-b207-49b181475453Post:114e6572-191f-44be-962a-c62ff288ed86">Re:Groomswoman at Bachelor party?</a>:
[QUOTE]By the way, DH had two women at his bparty. And they gasp smoked cigars and played poker and one of them even stayed at our home with him that night UNSUPERVISED. And yeah, it was fine.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

ahem....I threw the freakin bachelor party for one of my BFFs when I was the Best Woman.

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