I am very fortunate to be MOH for a dear friend. Her wedding is in the fall and she has been finalizing her guest list. She has been doing a lot of complaining about the people she has to invite because of family obligations or how she’s worried certain folks will get drunk or be disrespectful at the reception.
I recently found out that she is not inviting one of our friends, who happens to be my ex-fiancé, with whom I am on very good terms with. He has known her and her fiancé since before they were a couple, has been very supportive, even helped them out when they went through rough patches and has been over the moon excited for them. He is a member of our inner circle of friends, not to mention was a potential groomsman and was at her recent birthday party.
When she told me he was not invited, I asked her why she would spend money to invite all the people she obviously did not like or know but exclude someone who was such a good friend. She told me it was because when they were compiling the guest list, he was unemployed and they (she and her parents) did not think they “could get a gift out of him”. I am very disheartened by this. For one, I know he will be devastated to not be invited. Two, because he assumes he would be invited and she (and her fiancé) have given no hint that he would not be. Three, he is the only one in our inner circle to not be invited…and four, because he is working now and I know for a fact he would bring a gift. He’s already talked about going in on a bigger gift with some of our other friends. And five, frankly, I think that is a really awful, shallow reason.