Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?

daveANDkristen · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:fc2f2b59-066c-494a-b4eb-e4f4e0a764b1">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's rude at all. It's your wedding, eat what you want! Maybe you can't afford to feed EVERYONE steak but you really want a nice slab on your wedding day. Go for it! When my parents got married, duck was served to the guests and my Dad had chicken fingers because that's what he wanted (I think my stepmom had salmon)! It doesn't mean that you don't think the "guest food" is good enough for you and if people have a problem with it then I think they're just looking for something to complain about. Maybe you know that the majority of your guests will prefer chicken but you're not partial to it, yourself. So go ahead, choose something else, and if anyone says anything to you, simply nod and say "we're terribly sorry that you were upset by what we were eating, but we hope you were still able to enjoy your free meal and desert that we were able to serve."
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

The solution to this is to have either a buffet or a choice of entree. You can think whatever you want, but if you feed your guests a different (cheaper) entree than you yourself are eating, you are sending the message that you're too good to eat what you're serving them.

Also, bopple, to the last line of your post, I really hope you're not serious. What a horrible way to regard your wedding guests. They are not peasants who should be grateful for whatever you deem them worthy of eating on your dime. If you don't care about treating your family and friends properly, perhaps you should elope.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:e66e267c-854d-4676-8b64-5c74e814bb46">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : It's sarcasm. I mean, honestly, would you really care if you looked across the table from your chicken marsala and saw the bride eating stuffed shells? I doubt people would think this is rude, and if they do, they need to lighten up and realize that they were invited to a lovely evening out with dinner and desert served, free of charge. People will argue that their travel expenses and/or gift are "payment" for the dinner, but these things are NEVER required of guests and any who choose to spend money on these things are doing it out of their own generosity and shouldn't hold it over the hosts' heads.
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

You do realize this is your GUESTS that you are talking about? GUESTS! Yes, I am shouting.

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:6d3425fb-7f24-4c67-9d1b-c12a7e584b05">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : The solution to this is to have either a buffet or a choice of entree. You can think whatever you want, but if you feed your guests a different (cheaper) entree than you yourself are eating, you are sending the message that you're too good to eat what you're serving them. Also, bopple, to the last line of your post, I really hope you're not serious. What a horrible way to regard your wedding guests. They are not peasants who should be grateful for whatever you deem them worthy of eating on your dime. If you don't care about treating your family and friends properly, perhaps you should elope.
Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

When did the bride say she was purposely going to serve her guests a "cheaper" meal? She just said different. Like I said, my dad had chicken fingers at his wedding while everyone around him had (very expensive) roasted duck. Do you think anyone gasped in awe at the inequity of not also being served crispy chicken nuggets? I do agree that a buffet could certainly make this a "non-issue" but perhaps that's not an option for them. What happens if the bride or groom has certain food restrictions (allergies, vegetarian, no red meat, etc) that they don't want the rest of their guests forced to abide by? All of these are possibilities, and even if they don't apply I don't think it's wrong to order a special plate on your wedding day. And yes, I was being sarcastic, but my point still stands that you shouldn't complain about something that someone else provided for you. Now THAT is rude!

s-aries8990 · January 2013

As a PP said, if you REALLY want steak, get it before or after the reception. It's like hosting a party and you have a whole selection of soft drinks, but are keeping a 6 pack of beer/ bottle of vodka for yourself.

It's rude to eat something that is not an option for your guests during the event you are hosting.

If you're that cheap, why don't you have a 2-6pm wedding with appetizers and cake. Then go out to a nice steak house after! You'll save a TON of money by not serving a meal AND you can still have your steak and not be rude!

lyndausvi · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:e66e267c-854d-4676-8b64-5c74e814bb46">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : It's sarcasm. I mean, honestly, would you really care if you looked across the table from your chicken marsala and saw the bride eating stuffed shells? I doubt people would think this is rude, and if they do, they need to lighten up and realize that they were invited to a lovely evening out with dinner and desert served, free of charge. People will argue that their travel expenses and/or gift are "payment" for the dinner, but these things are NEVER required of guests and any who choose to spend money on these things are doing it out of their own generosity and shouldn't hold it over the hosts' heads.
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

Yes, I would care.

And no I don't have to lighten up. It's called being a good host.

bopple321 · January 2013

I guess the thing to ask the Bride would be: did SHE feel like her friends were purposely being rude to her when they had steak at their wedding? Clearly, her fiance didn't mind and wasn't personally offended by it. I don't know... this just would not bother me if I were at a wedding and the bride and groom were eating a different meal than I. I would eat, drink and be happy to be there. And if anyone came up to me and started complaining about it, I would buy them another cocktail and tell them to lighten up.

misshart00 · January 2013

In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : The solution to this is to have either a buffet or a choice of entree.nbsp; You can think whatever you want, but if you feed your guests a different cheaper entree than you yourself are eating, you are sending the message that you're too good to eat what you're serving them.nbsp; Also, bopple, to the last line of your post, I really hope you're not serious.nbsp; What a horrible way to regard your wedding guests.nbsp; They are not peasants who should be grateful for whatever you deem them worthy of eating on your dime.nbsp; If you don't care about treating your family and friends properly, perhaps you should elope.Posted by daveANDkristenWhen did the bride say she was purposely going to serve her guests a "cheaper" meal?nbsp; She just said different.nbsp; Like I said, my dad had chicken fingers at his wedding while everyone around him had very expensive roasted duck.nbsp; Do you think anyone gasped in awe at the inequity of not also being served crispy chicken nuggets?nbsp; I do agree that a buffet could certainly make this a "nonissue" but perhaps that's not an option for them.nbsp; What happens if the bride or groom has certain food restrictions allergies, vegetarian, no red meat, etc that they don't want the rest of their guests forced to abide by?nbsp; All of these are possibilities, and even if they don't apply I don't think it's wrong to order a special plate on your wedding day.nbsp; And yes, I was being sarcastic, but my point still stands that you shouldn't complain about something that someone else provided for you.nbsp; Now THAT is rude! Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

I just wanted to say that I can't eat duck. It makes me very sick. I would love to have chicken fingers. If I was stuck eating something that would make me sick or eating just the sides while the host has a meal that looks very delicious to me but I wasn't allowed to have it, I would be very cranky. Would I complain to them? No. But I would question my friendship.

lyndausvi · January 2013

oh, and I'm not a duck fan, but I love me some chicken fingers. I would be annoyed I'm stuck with duck when chicken fingers could have been offered to me.

It doesn't matter to me if it's cheaper or more expensive. You offier the same dish to everyone.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:e66e267c-854d-4676-8b64-5c74e814bb46">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : It's sarcasm. I mean, honestly, would you really care if you looked across the table from your chicken marsala and saw the bride eating stuffed shells? I doubt people would think this is rude, and if they do, they need to lighten up and realize that they were invited to a lovely evening out with dinner and desert served, free of charge. People will argue that their travel expenses and/or gift are "payment" for the dinner, but these things are NEVER required of guests and any who choose to spend money on these things are doing it out of their own generosity and shouldn't hold it over the hosts' heads.
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

Actually yes I would because I hate chicken marsala and love stuffed shells. I would wonder why I wasn't given the option of choosing between the two.

Oh and some posters did mention that if the bride or groom had food allergies or food restrictions then eating something different would be ok since it would be for health purposes not just because they didn't want to eat what the guests were eating.

Would you think it rude if I hosted a party at my house and invited you along with 25 others over. I made food for everyone to enjoy. I also had a plate of cupcakes sitting out but when you reached for one I slapped your hand away and told you "oh, sorry those are only for me but you are more then welcomed to the jello." Are you telling me that you wouldn't be a bit peeved that only I got to eat the cupcakes sitting out in plain view for everyone to see but not eat while you had to eat the jello?

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0950611e-29fe-4177-b9c8-c671cf72037b">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Yes, I would care. And no I don't have to lighten up. It's called being a good host.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

You can do whatever you want at your own wedding, that's the beauty of it! So feed everyone the same thing, give menu options, have a buffet... whatever you want! But if the B&G want to do a little something special for themselves on what is actually THEIR special day, then i say go for it. It's not like they're going to be eating off of gold china and throwing scraps at their guests who are begging on the floor. I mean, we're arguing about CHICKEN and BEEF here! Come on, now...

amymaysa · January 2013

Its rude, plain and simple. What you choose to eat should be what you also choose to serve your guests. If you want a fancy steak dinner, but can't afford it for everyone, go out another night and have one

SKPM · January 2013

In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:[QUOTE]I guess the thing to ask the Bride would be: did SHE feel like her friends were purposely being rude to her when they had steak at their wedding? Clearly, her fiance didn't mind and wasn't personally offended by it.nbsp; I don't know... this just would not bother me if I were at a wedding and the bride and groom were eating a different meal than I. I would eat, drink and be happy to be there. And if anyone came up to me and started complaining about it, I would buy them another cocktail and tell them to lighten up. Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]
Buy them another cocktail? At your cash bar? Please, just stop.

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:696f1f78-190e-496d-80ae-c95c0d21a7a7">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?: I just wanted to say that I can't eat duck. It makes me very sick. I would love to have chicken fingers. If I was stuck eating something that would make me sick or eating just the sides while the host has a meal that looks very delicious to me but I wasn't allowed to have it, I would be very cranky. Would I complain to them? No. But I would question my friendship.
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

Do you suggest, then, that your hosts make individual phone calls to every one of their guests to find out their food preferences and all possibly allergies? What if they're having the wedding at a place that only allows for one entree? (Many places don't let you provide choice of entree). It's unavoidable to serve something that will make everyone at your wedding happy. If my Dad were eating the same duck on that day (instead of chicken fingers) it wouldn't have changed the fact that you still wouldn't have been able to eat it. Would you still reconsider your friendship because my parents didn't design their meals around your perticular needs?

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:a8471d7e-07eb-4d33-9436-a61458e3223a">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Actually yes I would because I hate chicken marsala and love stuffed shells. I would wonder why I wasn't given the option of choosing between the two. Oh and some posters did mention that if the bride or groom had food allergies or food restrictions then eating something different would be ok since it would be for health purposes not just because they didn't want to eat what the guests were eating. Would you think it rude if I hosted a party at my house and invited you along with 25 others over. I made food for everyone to enjoy. I also had a plate of cupcakes sitting out but when you reached for one I slapped your hand away and told you "oh, sorry those are only for me but you are more then welcomed to the jello." Are you telling me that you wouldn't be a bit peeved that only I got to eat the cupcakes sitting out in plain view for everyone to see but not eat while you had to eat the jello?
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I would enjoy the food you made right along with my jello, and thank you for your hospitality. Now, if you slapped me, that would be another issue... but I don't think the Bride here is suggesting any actual physical contact.

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:e39d57f8-083e-4a94-a5e3-d2d0c2e5bc77">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?: Buy them another cocktail? At your cash bar? Please, just stop.
Posted by SKPM[/QUOTE]

Sorry that not everyone can afford an all night open bar. Should I just not provide any alcohol then and stick to water for all? Would that be less rude? Or am I now taking more options away from my guests....

Jager1219 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0932d4c7-01b1-405d-bd57-5ca16227e522">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Sorry that not everyone can afford an all night open bar. Should I just not provide any alcohol then and stick to water for all? Would that be less rude? Or am I now taking more options away from my guests....
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]
Actually yes. I'd prefer water only than a cash bar.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Do you suggest, then, that your hosts make individual phone calls to every one of their guests to find out their food preferences and all possibly allergies? What if they're having the wedding at a place that only allows for one entree? (Many places don't let you provide choice of entree). It's unavoidable to serve something that will make everyone at your wedding happy. If my Dad were eating the same duck on that day (instead of chicken fingers) it wouldn't have changed the fact that you still wouldn't have been able to eat it. Would you still reconsider your friendship because my parents didn't design their meals around your perticular needs?
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]
You're not making sense.

There is another option besides duck. The steak or stuffed shells or what ever other alternative the bride and/or groom is scarfing down right in front of everyone.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0932d4c7-01b1-405d-bd57-5ca16227e522">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Sorry that not everyone can afford an all night open bar. Should I just not provide any alcohol then and stick to water for all? Would that be less rude? Or am I now taking more options away from my guests....
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]
You can cut costs so everyone can have steak and an open bar. It's your wedding, therefore you're the host. You should provide the same food and drinks for everyone that you are also providing for yourself.

lyndausvi · January 2013

I really hate that people don't know who to properly host guests. It's a trend I'm seeing more and more.

This is not about beef and chicken. I would be pissed if you gave me cake while eating ice cream. As a host you do not have options not available to the rest of your guests. Plain and simple. The fact it's a wedding couple is irrelevant.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0932d4c7-01b1-405d-bd57-5ca16227e522">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : Sorry that not everyone can afford an all night open bar. Should I just not provide any alcohol then and stick to water for all? Would that be less rude? Or am I now taking more options away from my guests....
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

If you provide water to all guests, you are not rude. If you have no alcohol and do not provide any alcohol to any guests, you are not rude.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

Apparently Bopple needs a bit of a bop on the head to realize what it means to host your guests properly.

misshart00 · January 2013

In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?:In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?: I just wanted to say that I can't eat duck. It makes me very sick. I would love to have chicken fingers. If I was stuck eating something that would make me sick or eating just the sides while the host has a meal that looks very delicious to me but I wasn't allowed to have it, I would be very cranky. Would I complain to them? No. But I would question my friendship.Posted by misshart00Do you suggest, then, that your hosts make individual phone calls to every one of their guests to find out their food preferences and all possibly allergies?nbsp; What if they're having the wedding at a place that only allows for one entree? Many places don't let you provide choice of entree.nbsp; It's unavoidable to serve something that will make everyone at your wedding happy.nbsp; If my Dad were eating the same duck on that day instead of chicken fingers it wouldn't have changed the fact that you still wouldn't have been able to eat it.nbsp; Would you still reconsider your friendship because my parents didn't design their meals around your perticular needs? Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

If the hosts were eating the same thing, I would have no problem because I would know there was no other option. I wouldn't batt an eye at just eating the side dishes because everyone has the same thing. I understand that you won't be able to please everyone with your food. However, if I saw that someone was eating chicken fingers while I was left picking at the sides, I would wonder why he got a choice and I didn't. That's the difference.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

Shoo troll, shoo. Somebody get trollspray. You can totally not give a fig abput ettiquette, but don't bring that attitude to an ettiquette forum, it's useless.

bburkel · January 2013

It's probably rude if you are getting a "better" or higher quality meal, but it would be different if you had special dietary needs, or if you're a super picky eater. I seriously considered having 2 slices of pizza for my meal, because I wasn't thrilled with the buffet options, but I ended up finding something I liked.

lyndausvi · January 2013

I can't think of a single reason why the couple should get a special meal. Even if they have dietary issues they can still provide the same option to the other guests.

**I'm not talking about about requests like "hold the onions" on the grooms salad.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0d11d589-edf2-4106-be74-e1b68e4912cc">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Shoo troll, shoo. Somebody get trollspray. You can totally not give a fig abput ettiquette, but don't bring that attitude to an ettiquette forum, it's useless.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Here you go...use it liberally

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/9/76cbbfe0-119c-450f-a9bd-063612b4c15b.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/9/76cbbfe0-119c-450f-a9bd-063612b4c15b.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

daveANDkristen · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:cb300042-77eb-4d51-b755-ad132e15c427">Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests? : You can do whatever you want at your own wedding, that's the beauty of it! So feed everyone the same thing, give menu options, have a buffet... whatever you want! But if the B&G want to do a little something special for themselves on what is actually THEIR special day, then i say go for it. It's not like they're going to be eating off of gold china and throwing scraps at their guests who are begging on the floor. I mean, we're arguing about CHICKEN and BEEF here! Come on, now...
Posted by bopple321[/QUOTE]

I mean, nobody in this thread has agreed with you, but your right, it's not rude...

bopple321 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:0d11d589-edf2-4106-be74-e1b68e4912cc">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Shoo troll, shoo. Somebody get trollspray. You can totally not give a fig abput ettiquette, but don't bring that attitude to an ettiquette forum, it's useless.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Calling someone a "troll" is etiquette? I have a different opinion than you and I defended my opinion. The poster asked for opinions. I never called anyone a name.

Simply Fated · January 2013

I kinda feel bad for ashlee. She asked a perfectly innocent question and clearly she asked it because she doesn't want to be rude... and her thread is 3 pages long with a troll infestation.
Anyway, I totally get if someone doesn't like or eat duck. I don't eat duck. I'm sure the kitchen would figure something out. I'll take the vegetarian dish. Or, hell, I'll take the kids meal lol. But if the groom didn't like duck and planned on having a seperate meal... why wouldn't he plan on someone else not liking duck, either? Why does the guest have to "suck it up" when the hosts don't?

kaos16 · January 2013

Please don't do this. It's horribly rude as others have mentioned. At one of the meetings with the coordinator of my venue close in time to our wedding date my husband was talking to the coordinator about sushi and whether or not we could afford it during the reception. We decided that we couldn't. As such, it wasn't offered during cocktail hour. When we went to our sweetheart table for dinner, our plates had been made from the buffett for us, and the staff at the venue brought out a big tray of sushi for my husband. Nobody else had it! They thought they were being nice, but I was mortified. I quietly asked them to remove the tray. I think they boxed it up for my husband to take with him at the end of the night, but it never should have been put on our table.

You are not better than your guests, even though it is your wedding day you should not get this type of special treatment IMO.

ashleestadt · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-for-bride-and-groom-to-have-different-meal-than-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67c84933-71b9-4b39-b364-5ea57403ede8Post:5722d7b2-1171-4c35-b48a-c46d1ec39a78">Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?: Which makes me wonder how OP and her fianc found out about their friend's steak. Were OP and fianc were sitting at the same table? Or did they find out another way?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

We were actually just guests at their wedding. Our table was close-ish to the head table and we saw the groom had a steak dinner when the servers brought out the food and people started clinking their glasses for them to kiss. FH and I weren't terribly offended but we looked at each other and wondered why we didn't get steak too, though it was all light-heartedly. Thanks everyone for all of your responses, I will certainly talk about this with my FH and explain how he'll just have to have his steak at the rehearsal dinner, or some other time :)

Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?

Re: Okay for bride and groom to have different meal than guests?

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