Snarky Brides

Open Letters

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Re: Open Letters

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:05840813-e9ea-4426-8967-e7754bb065dd">Re:Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear company my husband works for, Thanks for handing out a raise of 0.30 an hour to my husband, I hope your extreme generosity doesn't put your company out at all cause I realize that is a momentous amount of money. Assholes. Sincerely, The chick over here who's so pumped to finally be living the high life.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    Hey, look at the big picture: that's $48/month extra! :)
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  • Dear irate customer,

    You didn't get your package on time because you entered the wrong zip code for your order. That causes delays. That is not our fault. So quit hating us because of your own stupidity.

    Thanks,

    Friendly customer service person 
  • nebb, yours cracked me up. My H got a 0.47 raise this year and he was PISSED. He actually still has a piece of paper with 0.47 on it up in his closet as a daily reminder to himself.

    Dear work,

    I seriously need something challenging or motivating. I am so bored and I think it is showing.

    From-

    The person that has hardly done jack shitt this week.

    Dear friend,

    I know you are kind of flaky but when I try to make plans to go see you and ask if you are free, waaaay ahead of time giving you plenty of time to make it happen, I would appreciate any sort of response. Any. Is this friendship important to you or no?

    Love-
    Getting super fed up. 
  • Dear Hair,
    You have been pissing me off lately. Yes it is my fault because I have been lazy and not following my normal hair routine but I am cutting you tomorrow.

    Love,
    The head you are attached too.
  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to Re:Open Letters:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Open Letters:Dear company my husband works for, Thanks for handing out a raise of 0.30 an hour to my husband, I hope your extreme generosity doesn't put your company out at all cause I realize that is a momentous amount of money. Assholes. Sincerely, The chick over here who's so pumped to finally be living the high life.Posted by NebbHey, look at the big picture: that's 48/month extra! : Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]
    Before tax, after its probably less than 30
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:5e54d95b-dd14-41e4-82a2-25854482c60f">Re: Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear coworkers, I know pooping is a part of life.<strong> But do you really need to leave proof of your accomplishments in the toilet?</strong> Flush twice if needed. I promise no one will care that you wasted more water. Annoyed, Your pregnant coworker with a very poor gag reflex as of late. ------------ Dear Minnesota DOT, etc. Do you ever, you know, communicate internally? If so, you might realize that you've closed literally every major route to and from campus this weekend. Confused, This driving-savvy employee who's not sure how to get to work on Sunday
    Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I hear you on this one. The other day I was bitching because I had to skip over two stalls at work because of the state they were in, and then I spied a lady walk out of the bathroom without washing her hands. FVCK people are disgusting. </div>
  • ha. I'm getting a $0.457 raise this year.  I'm stoked for it, but we've been on pay freezes/cuts for the last 4 years. It'll be like $50/mo after taxes... just enough to cover the increased parking costs at work! woohoo.
  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited June 2012
    I did the math and it works out to about 19 per pay extra, but that might change because his RRSP contribution is a percentage of his income. Still, for someone in management who has been there a while, I think that's balls.
  • JCB- Those are gorgeous!
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  • Dear school,

    Don't send me an email telling me I should have received an email with my schedule and continue to ignore my emails when I say I never got this. Also, someone needs to start answering the phone.

    Thanks,

    Really confused student.

    Dear FMIL,

    If you ruin the wedding like you've ruined every other event that's been about us (such as our graduations last weekend) you will see a side of me you will not like. I'm fed up with you making FI feel like a piece of crap and making everything about you.

    Your FDIL that is over your bs.
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  • Dear Co-Worker,

    Please stop overstepping your boundries and criticizing the rest of us because you wish things were the way they use to be. The senior partner we all came in under died a year ago. Everything changed. A lot of people would kill for your position so please fergodsake get over it or move on. I take time out of my day to go to TK to help me take my mind off of your horridness. Maybe I should just tell you off, it would feel so damn good and who knows you might learn something. We have known each other for ten years and I don't know who the h-ll you are anymore. For awhile I thought maybe it was just me, but the nicest guy in the office was telling me it is all he can do some days not to do you bodily harm.

    Sincerely,
    Lenore
    Who is wondering how much more of you I can take.
  • Dear boss,
    Hire a receptionist. Receptionists are wonderful, and I might actually be able to get some of the work done that youv'e been bitching about. Also, your patients might stop thinking you're incredibly cheap for having one employee who's clearly doing three jobs.
    Sincerely,
    Burned out.
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  • Dear Mr. Jcb-
    Please call my H and tell him how sending flowers is good and easy.
    Thanks-
    Flowerless Bkseller

  • Dear Hike,

    What the hell were you thinking when you offered your house for the command garage sale. It was stupid. Never, ever offer again. 

    Annoyed,
    Yourself

    Dear boat e-mail,

    Start working. I'd like to hear from my husband for the first time in a long time.

    Thanks,
    Hike
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:af954b5e-aed0-4a25-a140-19079c0f1aaa">Re: Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear H, Thank you for the beautiful flowers.  It really made my Friday! Signed, Your Loving Wife
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    So pretty! Way to go J!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:070c71fd-f281-4ac2-869b-4c8f38f7b01d">Re: Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear Hike, What the hell were you thinking when you offered your house for the command garage sale. It was stupid. Never, ever offer again.  Annoyed, Yourself Dear boat e-mail, Start working. I'd like to hear from my husband for the first time in a long time. Thanks, Hike
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Dear Hike,

           {{Hugs}} I really dont know how you do it, I'm actually glad H's days were over when we met.

    Love,
    KD
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  • Thanks kd- It's not so bad when I have a place like this :-) and I've been keeping myself busy. I just would like an e-mail every once in a while. Who would have though e-mail would be so hard to fix?? 

    Mayve the boat IT guys are also the knot IT guys. :-)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:42ae84ef-88de-47e8-815f-463dc708f707">Re: Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks kd- It's not so bad when I have a place like this :-) and I've been keeping myself busy. I just would like an e-mail every once in a while. Who would have though e-mail would be so hard to fix??  <strong>Mayve the boat IT guys are also the knot IT guys. :-)
    </strong>Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    HA!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d9d25e30-76a5-4072-adc9-adefcfcb0537Post:cd29ce5e-2401-4105-b384-54ddf7ff7437">Re: Open Letters</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letters : HA!
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm just teasing because I know those IT guys are in the Navy too and I'm sure they are trying their hardest to figure it out. It just sucks.</div>
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  • Dear dumba** drivers,

    Please take the time to read signs.  Especially the signs that say Keep Clear, because when you dont, the light almost always turns red leaving you and your fat ugly car blocking the intersection and preventing me and 25 other cars from moving.  I hate that.

    Sincerely,
    Late to work and very annoyed
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  • Dear potential client,

    When I show up at your door for our 8am appointment, I should not have to call you because you are not near a phone. You know I am coming. Be near the front door. You also should not be surprised that I am there. It should not take you 15 minutes to answer the knocking on your door because the doorbell doesn't work. We made an appointment over the phone barely a week ago. Use a fricken calendar/planner/sticky note and be prepared for the meeting that you agreed to.

    Sincerely,
    Super annoyed professional

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  • Dear Air Force,

    Can you be a little bit faster with the "job drop?"  I would like to find out when I'm leaving for Basic Training.  I understand that "hurry up and wait" is part of the military, but I would like to get an idea of when I am leaving so I know how long FI and I will have after the wedding to get stuff ready.

    Sincerely,
    Anxious Future Airman
    knotsigpicture Anniversary
  • Dear soon-to-be-divorcee-customer,

    Just because you are busy bashing your estanged husband to your mom on the phone does not mean it's ok for your 5 year old to draw on the walls of my waiting room with crayons.  Or put coffee filters in my printer when I walk out of the room.  You suck, and you could have at least apologized for the crayon mess on the walls.

    Signed,

    me.
    ---------------------------------

    Dear co-worker,

    stop smoking a pack a day when you have a chest cold.  Then it won't take you forever and a day to get over it, and I won't have to listen to you bittch about being sick.  Oh, while you're at it, you can just keep that cold for yourself.  Kthanks.
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  • jjolovichjjolovich member
    100 Comments
    edited June 2012
    Dear Boss:

    I am tired of doing all of the work and getting paid sh*t! Can not wait to find another job, cause I am so sick of sitting here doing absolutley nothing, or answering questions you have asked 5 times, and then confirming I did it.

    Signed,
    Fed Up Independent Contractor.

    ______________________
    ETA:

    Dear Spray tan Salon:

    Spray tanning isn't for everyone, so glad I did a trial run before my wedding, guess I will do it the natural way!

    Signed,
    Angry, Orange, and spotted....
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  • Dear Davids Bridal,

    Thanks for telling me that petite sizes are smaller than regular ones.  Oh wait, they are?  Well sh!t no wonder my dress didn't fit when I went in to pick it up today.

    -Angry Bride
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  • Dear Universe, Go eff your mom. ~Blue
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    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • bmiller1128bmiller1128 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited June 2012
    Dear MOH,
    You suck and you still owe me $100 for that dress that you're wearing to be in my wedding.

    Sincerly,
    Your pissed off cousin

    Dear self,
    Why did you think it would be a good idea to front the money for you moh dress? Also, If you could go back in time....not making a pack with your cousin at the age of 14 agreeing to be each others bridesmaids, that would be great.

    Sincerly,
    You're poor in debt annoyed self


    Dear FSIL,

    No my FI and I will not rent out a shithole of a house for you to keep your horse and dog at for free because it has 3 acres, and no we will not make "renovations" so you and your bf and son can move in a couples years after we have "fixed it up." Even though your bf makes more than  your brother and I combined but the two of you still choose to live with your mother. Grow the Ef up and stop trying to take advantage of us. No, the world does not revolve around you, and no I will most definitely not be doing you any favors for now on!


    Sincerly, 
    One very pissed of girl

    Anniversary
  • Dear FSIL,

    I'm not excited to be in the car with you, alone, for 2.5 hours today. I just hope we can make it to and from our destination without me jumping out of the car and into moving traffic. I just can't believe that, even though we are the same age, I am infinitely more mature and less annoying. Plus, you listen to crappy music.

    Sincerely,
    Not anticipating 11:30AM.



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  • Dear dog,

    While you are ridiculously cute, and so are chipmunks, please stop barking at them everytime you see one in the backyard.

    Thanks.
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