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Wedding Etiquette Forum
shaina925
member
mother in law help
Let me start by saying that I absolutely ADORE my fiances family! We live in RI and they are in FL, so we only see them a few times a year. I invited his mother up here for dress shopping. Since she has two sons I thought she would love doing that with me. She said that she was extremely flattered but would unfortunately not be able to make it (her husband needs close attention so that is most likely why) anyways.. my FI and I are going down to visit them for xmas. His mom asked me if I wanted to go dress shopping down there, but I don't want to try anything on with just her. I want my first time to have my mother and my two best friends. My FI understands, but I do not want to hurt his mothers feelings. Now, I am completely fine with going to LOOK with her, but I really dont want to try a dress on. It is just too special to me. Am I being ridiculous or is this understandable?
Also... if I had already went to try things on previously, I would be FINE with trying more on with his mom. What can I say to her to not make her feel bad? I think going to just look at dresses could still be fun for both of us. That way I can get her opinion on things and try to please her somewhat with my dress purchase.
Thoughts?
Also... if I had already went to try things on previously, I would be FINE with trying more on with his mom. What can I say to her to not make her feel bad? I think going to just look at dresses could still be fun for both of us. That way I can get her opinion on things and try to please her somewhat with my dress purchase.
Thoughts?
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Re: mother in law help
But yes, I will definitely suggest looking for a dress for her. That is still something fun and a bonding thing that we could do together. I feel like I will need to explain to her before we go that I might not want to try anything on... that way she won't be completely disappointed if I spring it on her right in the middle of the store.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]Personally, I really don't get the sentimental aspect of dress shopping. At the end of the day, your wedding dress is still just a dress, and I just don't attach all that much emotional value to the search and procuring of it. I know other people do, but I just don't get it. I don't see what harm it could do to try on dresses while you're in FL. It'll give you a good idea of what you like and what looks good on you. So, I guess I think you're being kind of ridiculous about it.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
Yep. I actually fell in love with a dress when I was totally alone. It didn't matter whether I had an entourage or not.
[QUOTE]Ok, that is your opinion and that is fine. I think it just means a lot to me to have my mother and two best friends (both of 15 years) with me the first time I try on dresses.
Posted by shaina925[/QUOTE]
Well, you asked if you were being ridiculous. If you didn't want to know if you were being ridiculous, you probably shouldn't have asked. :)
I am going to be honest with FMIL and I LOVE the idea about me trying on rehersal dinner dresses! That is genius!
I'd just explain to her that you really want that to be an experience you share with your mom, I'm sure she'll understand. I think looking for MOG dresses and/or RD dress would be a great compromise.
[QUOTE]Personally, I really don't get the sentimental aspect of dress shopping. At the end of the day, your wedding dress is still just a dress, and I just don't attach all that much emotional value to the search and procuring of it. I know other people do, but I just don't get it. I don't see what harm it could do to try on dresses while you're in FL. It'll give you a good idea of what you like and what looks good on you. So, I guess I think you're being kind of ridiculous about it.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
This. I agree the whole sentiment about trying on dresses being super special is a little ridiculous. Of course this could be because I don't have a mom and didn't have one to try dresses on. My sister tried on and bought her dress alone. I had mine made so there was no big to do about going dress shopping and making it this big wonderful thing.
But thats OUR relationship and its not really for anyone else to judge, whats important to some may seem silly to others and vice versa. Especially when it comes to weddings, so stick to your guns on this one - if it was important enough to you for you to come on here..clearly its important to you..
Just be honest with your FMIL.. lying to her is just asking for trouble and hurt feelings, you saId shes a great woman, so guaranteed she will understand and not make a big deal about it.