Snarky Brides

What to do? UGH!

My wedding photographer is a friend of mine that has offered to do this for us at no charge as her gift to us. We are having a small wedding out of town and she isn't asking for her room to be paid for or anything. (Lucky I know) My only problem is that she wants to bring 2 of her 4 kids & her husband is staying home with the other 2.  I gave her permision to bring her 13 yr old because she is older and knows how to act right but she has assumed that it is ok to bring her 6 yr old also and the child is a brat that doesn't listen to anyone. Another of our mutual friends that's in the wedding feels that she's gonna get stuck watching the 6 yr old instead of being able to enjoy herself as usual when this child is brought anywhere with us. (The photographer was asked to be in the wedding instead of taking pics but when she found out that I was using camo, she threw a tantrum and said she wasn't going to be in it and offered to take the pictures instead.) She knows with where it is going to be at that it won't be safe to have a child running around unsupervised while she's taking pics since it is in the center of a busy round-a-bout in New Braunfels, TX. 
How do I tell her that I don't want this child there when my 5 yr old son (in the service) and 15mo old niece will be there (she'll be watched by my mom though) or should I even bother with telling her and risk losing my free photographer with only a little more than a month left before the wedding?
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Re: What to do? UGH!

  • Is your friend a professional photographer?  She should be treating this like a job, not an invitation to a wedding, which means neither of her kids should be there.  
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  • I'm mostly concerned with who will be watching them while she is taking the pictures.  Has she addressed that with you at all, or is she assuming the 13 year old will be able to handle the 6 year old?  If she was a guest I would say this is cut and dry and that she should be able to bring them, or if she was just a vendor I would say she should not.  With her being a friend it is much harder. Have you tried to talk to her and bring up your concerns for their safety?
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  • so. much. I . could. say. here.

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  • sigh. In an attempt to be helpful I will say this: If she is a photographer, then perhaps you need to talk to her as a professional- not as your friend. Mention your concerns and let her react as she will. If she flips out, hire your own photographer and let your friend just be a guest.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:85b7a61e-5c2a-4fd6-b237-74cef6d15e05">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]so. much. I . could. say. here.
    Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

    Like this is why you never have friends or family as vendors for your wedding?

    Decline her offer and find a photographer. I can only imagine what an issue having her kids there will cause. When the 6 yr old gets cranky and needs her momma and momma is taking your pictures.

    Invite her as a guest and leave it at that.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:85b7a61e-5c2a-4fd6-b237-74cef6d15e05">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]so. much. I . could. say. here.
    Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

    Yup
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
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  • edited June 2012
    ...You're using camo?
    panther
  • Ditto kd.  Hire a professional.  Know what's going to make this worse?  When the pictures turn out crappy, and then everyone is unhappy.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:366cdc66-bc4c-4fbb-a29d-379585420cf6">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]...You're using camo?
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
    At least it's for the BMs' dresses not the bride's?  I hope.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:86c13f6c-0067-4b90-807b-a5167670fac1">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto kd.  Hire a professional.  Know what's going to make this worse?  When the pictures turn out crappy, and then everyone is unhappy.
    Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

    Well there is already camo involved, so....

    But, yeah I can just see it now when it comes time to get your pictures from her. I'd start searching for another photog today!
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  • What did you say when she originally mentioned bringing the 6 year-old, and why didn't you just address the issue then? I agree that she needs to treat this like a business, and leave the kids at home.

    Also, pics of the camo BM attire?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:366cdc66-bc4c-4fbb-a29d-379585420cf6">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]...You're using camo?
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Yes I'm using camo. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:453189ee-48cf-44eb-a399-8f32673073a9">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? UGH! : At least it's for the BMs' dresses not the bride's?  I hope.
    Posted by Starqueg[/QUOTE]

    It'll be in our boquets and hair pieces and the guys in camo.
  • Look, this is simple.  It should have been addressed in your contract.

    Yes, you should have a contract even if your vendor is a friend.
    Yes, you should have a contract even if you're not paying. 

  • Everyone always talks about these Camo weddings, yet noone ever comes back and posts pictures.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
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    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
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    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Zomg possibilities







    Don't forget the bride!




    Guys too







    Don't forget the cake



    You could totes get these for your BMs.


    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:722d2183-ac9b-488a-bf75-4120bdbe3651">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? UGH! : It'll be in our boquets and hair pieces and the guys in camo.
    Posted by TRENNANSMOM[/QUOTE]

    Full on camo or just the vests or whatever?  This is important.
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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:97a388c2-4678-4dad-a156-f66e2cabc57d">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everyone always talks about these Camo weddings, yet noone ever comes back and posts pictures.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    It's because after they get done they realize what a terrible idea it was and never want to admit it.
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  • I was in Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago and there was a girl looking at veils talking about how she could sew camo fabric to the outside to match her sash. 
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  • Camo just in the bouquet and hair doesn't sound too bad. But, I need to see them to accurately form my opinion.
  • Blue, I just ran to fb to find some pics for you of a friend's wedding where I could have sworn there was camo. Turns out there wasn't camo,  just other really bad choices. 
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:c708e1e3-6e5f-4834-aaf1-d326b4eb1b76">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was in Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago and there was a girl looking at veils talking about how she could sew camo fabric to the outside to match her sash. 
    Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

    Like a camo ribbon edge?
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  • I just cant fathom a camo wedding ever happening.

    Then again im a Yankee who lives in a state where people dont hunt so there is that.
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    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:af4718b9-8fcd-42ea-a594-eba2b482de1d">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Blue, I just ran to fb to find some pics for you of a friend's wedding where I could have sworn there was camo. Turns out there wasn't camo,  just other really bad choices. 
    Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

    You cant say this and not share! ;)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:93601c74-941b-4051-814d-42dc882f0eaf">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do? UGH! : Like a camo ribbon edge?
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    Yep. She was really excited at the possibility.
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  • Or, if you're still set on using her, hire a babysitter.  A babysitter for 6 hours will be cheaper than the photography for 6 hours.   Camo...shudder.(But, to each her own, I guess)
  • chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-to-do-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7e68f2dd-bba2-4f72-a16b-b05306a92626Post:97a388c2-4678-4dad-a156-f66e2cabc57d">Re: What to do? UGH!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everyone always talks about these Camo weddings, yet noone ever comes back and posts pictures.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    FI and an usher at FSIL's wedding: (they had black pants and black jackets)
    <img class="spotlight" src="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/312587_1892599127130_1807932002_n.jpg" alt="" width="361" height="270" />
  • Brother and FSIL are using camo in their wedding. I cringed when I first heard that, but they showed me what they are doing, it's not bad. They are also getting married in a barn and their e-pics featured shotguns, so... yes my family is redneck.
  • She seems to think that her 13 yr old will be able to watch her and I've brought up the safety issue with her and her comment was that our other friend will be there to help. I told her then that the other friend wasn't there to babysit her kid and that I thought that it would be a good idea to leave the 6 yr old at hm w/ dad and bring her at another time when she would be able to watch her to which she quickly had to get off the phone and every time one of us has brought up the subject since, she seems to change the subject very quickly or  has to get off the phone. If she would listen and wasn't a brat, I wouldn't mind her being there but she just doesn't listen!

    Yes she is a professional and I've considered looking for someone else to do the photos but with it being on a tight budget and so close to the date I'm having a hard time finding someone to do it (here or there) that is available and isn't going to charge an arm and a leg. 
     
    As for the camo... Yes it's being used. I know it's not everyones thing but my fiancee and I have agreed to it so please leave any negative comments about that at the door. Wink
  • Where does one even buy camo?
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
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