Did anyone else feel this way???

jamiefour · July 2010

I am going wedding dress shopping tomorrow for the first time and I am really nervous. I feel like the people might not be that nice because I am not model size (size 10-12) and don't look like a model. I know this sounds irrational but for some reason I am really nervous about this. I was at a BBQ with someone who is getting married, who is literally gorgeous. She reccomended this place and said how nice they are so I made an apt and now I am reading some of the reviews and a lot of people said the customer service is bad. Some reviews even said they were flat out rude. I don't want to cancel the apt but I am stressing. I know this is just my own insecurities but was anyone else nervous that they wouldn't look good in anything?

shellydiane820 · July 2010

Don't worry. I'm not a zero either. They have a variety of sizes. Some fit, some didn't. Its really fun, don't let your insecurities get the best of you.

This is such a fun experience, and try EVERYTHING on

betrothed123 · July 2010

I was definitely nervous. I hate shopping for clothes (I haven't bought anything new to wear in easily a year now) and dress shopping was no exception. That could be part of the reason I spent a grand total of 3 hours shopping for my dress.

Just take a deep breath and try to enjoy it, and don't put too much pressure on yourself to find "the dress."

katiewhompus · July 2010

I was dreading dress shopping. I hate trying on clothes anyways (body issues) and felt the same you did. I didn't want to be surrounded by thin, gorgeous women and feel like a bit white marshmallow!

My advice is to try on a bunch of different styles, and try on everything 1 size larger than what you normally wear. I was an 8 in most normal dresses but got my wedding dress in a 10. I think because the fabrics are stiffer it tends to be more constricting.

Also, if they are rude, then just end your appointment and leave. You are under no obligation to be there the entire time and absolutely do not have to buy anything you don't love. If they start getting snippy then just say "Thank you for your time, I think I will be leaving now.'

crys-crys · July 2010

I am feeling that exact way right now! I just lost 75 lbs but I'm still not thin and I am freaked about trying on dresses this weekend. I have always hated clothes shopping and this seems about 10x more stressful. I'll be going with both sets of mothers so hopefully they can keep me calm.

jamiefour · July 2010

Thanks Shelly... I thought I would be more excited. I want to try on as much as I can. I have never had any dress on so I don't really know what looks good.

Night_Sprite · July 2010

Do your makeup and hair so you like yourself from the neck up, and think about your underwear (for example, no thong.) Let it be fun and not stressful.

jamiefour · July 2010

I am glad I am not alone in feeling this way... Thank you everyone for your input!!

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

Awww you are just gorg!!

Why not go with only one person you really trust? Don't be afraid to up and leave if you get the slightest whiff of some one being a fuuckface. There are plenty of places out there. There is a really good one here in Westport if you want a rec

tidetravel · July 2010

I understand. I (was) a size 16/18 when I went dress shopping. I avoided boutique stores because of that exact reason - I didn't want to feel like a heifer in the dresses that may or may not fit, and I was worried about rude salespeople.

If you are insecure and you think that having a bad first experience may ruin dress shopping for you, I would cancel the appointment and take a drive to the nearest DB. Generally speaking, they carry dresses in a large selection of sizes, so you won't have to try to squeeze into a dress that's too small. The customer service is hit or miss depending on your local store, but at least you can try on dresses to get a feel for the type of silhouette that flatters your figure, even if you don't find "the" dress.

jamiefour · July 2010

Meg- I am trying Jersey first because no tax but I will let you know.
Tide-I am also going to DB after the boutique apt.

cnbrantner · July 2010

I HATE shopping because I can't deal with talking to people. I get flustered and nervous and sweaty. I always feel like people are judging me and staring at me. I know that its dumb to feel this way because I worked in a clothing store and I know that in most cases this isn't true, in retail you usually have other things to worry about than judging people. Be confidant and excited, don't let people ruin this great day for you!!! Just try to pretend that your the only person in there. Good luck finding 'the one'!!!! oh and you don't have to be a model to be beautiful!!!!

PetraStonegirl · July 2010

I was surprised at size range the stores had (everything from 0 to 16, and then they started up at 16W and went up from there), even the tiny boutique in my small town. I found several dresses that I liked myself in. Three pieces of advice, 1) bring good foundation garments, maybe a long-line bra, your figure will thank you; 2) try on a variety of styles, even those you don't think will flatter you, you might be surprised; 3) if you're not feeling it with the sales person, ask to switch or walk out and go to another store.

I tried on many designer dresses at boutiques, and wasn't feeling it. I went to DB on a whim, and had two sessions, on two different days, with the same sales rep. She made the experience awesome, and on the second day, I asked her to suggest something I hadn't already tried on, and the first dress she pulled was the one. I've heard horror stories (I'm using an independent seamstress for alterations), but LJ made the session a really great experience and I wasn't focused on my overweight physique because of it.

Edit: just cleaned up some typos

goheels05 · July 2010

I agree with all of the others.

To be honest, I think a lot of the people who post reviews like that don't know what to expect at a bridal salon or know how to act. The one I went to had some horrible reviews and said stupid stuff like "they were rude to me because I'm not a size 0!" but when you go on to read the whole thing they went in there without an appointment on a Saturday and expected to have red carpet treatment. As someone who frequents a wedding message board, you know that going to a bridal salon is not like going to Walmart and you know what to expect.

Relax and have fun, dress shopping is really exciting!

katiewhompus · July 2010

Definitely bring someone trust worthy with.
I brought my mom and my dad (he insisted). My mom did the usual "Oh you look so pretty" at every dress, but dad had no problem saying "The halter makes your chest front and center" "The mermaid makes your hips look huge!" Then I tried on mine and he cried and said "That's going home with you."

One of the girls in the dressing room next to me actually came over and asked if she could borrow him while I looked at shoes/veils because her friend kept just saying "pretty" to everything she tried on!

I know people here generally look down on DB, but I had a really great experience at mine. Try to make an appointment during the weekday and it's a much better time.

jamiefour · July 2010

I feel better already. You girls are the best!!! I am taking my mom, sister and FMIL. My mom will be very honest. I will update you guys on how it went!

scoetto · July 2010

Congrats, martainwax, on the weight loss! That's fantastic!

As far as finding a dress, it's true that your wedding gown will be a larger size than your street clothes. So, as long as you go in understanding they will more than likely order a larger size than you're used to, they will also be altering the dress to fit your body perfectly! Don't let the size discourage you. Pay attention to what looks & feels best. Enjoy!

missy68 · July 2010

The knot munched my post. No, you're not alone. I went alone and had to send pics by cell phone to my mom and SIL (I didn't feel comfortable enough with J's sister to go shopping with her). And I hate that you have to go up a size from what you normally wear.
Creatures of vanity, we are.

crys-crys · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_did-anyone-else-feel-this-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:322193f6-920f-4861-b990-c22c82457b2bPost:1c97a2af-023f-4d0b-acba-c028375cae49">Re: Did anyone else feel this way???</a>:
[QUOTE]Congrats, martainwax, on the weight loss! That's fantastic! As far as finding a dress, it's true that your wedding gown will be a larger size than your street clothes. So, as long as you go in understanding they will more than likely order a larger size than you're used to, they will also be altering the dress to fit your body perfectly! Don't let the size discourage you. Pay attention to what looks & feels best. Enjoy!
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]

TY. I am still looking to lose 20 more lbs but it's slow going at this point. I am ok with that cause I am just happy to have lost what I have.

One reason, that *I* am afraid to look at dresses is because all the magazines show sleeveless dresses and aside from the fact that I am afraid nothing will look good on me, I am afraid I won't find a dress with sleeves. Not all girls like showing off their arms! I only let my fiance see my arms. I hide them from everyone else.

Has anyone else had this issue?

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

Martian - you can definitely get lace or silk boleros made to go over dresses that might not otherwise come with sleeves. Just a thought since there are not that many dresses with sleeves out there.

jamiefour · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_did-anyone-else-feel-this-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:322193f6-920f-4861-b990-c22c82457b2bPost:bd0dfe6e-dae6-4a96-ba4f-c27b5b278711">Re: Did anyone else feel this way???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Did anyone else feel this way??? : TY. I am still looking to lose 20 more lbs but it's slow going at this point. I am ok with that cause I am just happy to have lost what I have. One reason, that *I* am afraid to look at dresses is because all the magazines show sleeveless dresses and aside from the fact that I am afraid nothing will look good on me, I am afraid I won't find a dress with sleeves. Not all girls like showing off their arms! I only let my fiance see my arms. I hide them from everyone else. Has anyone else had this issue?
Posted by martianwax[/QUOTE]
Someone a while back posted about this. I actually don't mind my arms but I hate my lower body. You should look for a dress with a lace overlay. I know Ivanka Trump wore one and it was gorgeous.
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/3/c121e2c3-cd44-489b-8313-36c406bc3d04.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'c121e2c3-cd44-489b-8313-36c406bc3d04', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/3/c121e2c3-cd44-489b-8313-36c406bc3d04.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

PetraStonegirl · July 2010

martian- what M&M said. Go for the bolero. I purchased one to go over my dress for largely the same reason. Well, that and the great big mucking tattoo that I don't want to share with anybody else. Do insist on trying on each dress with a bolero, because I discovered that not every dress looks good with one. If they don't have any, swing by a DB and buy plain one. They are not too pricey and will give you a idea. You can have a fancier one custom made by your seamstress later if you don't like the plain one.

PetraStonegirl · July 2010

OP- Have fun, take pictures, and share with us!

ehathewa · July 2010

You look amazing in your sig pic, I'm sure you will in the gowns too! Have a great time

tidetravel · July 2010

PSA: Daff had the most beautiful dress overlay/jacket thingy at her wedding. I don't remember where she got it, or who made it:

http://j-squaredwedding.blogspot.com/

SarahPLiz · July 2010

I didn't think anything would fit me either, but I picked the right boutique. They had great reviews on my local and on Yelp and carried the designer I wanted. Of course the ones I thought would look right on me looked horrible. I almost didn't pick up the one I eventually bought. The boutique had all different sizes, so when I went to order, he measured me and hten had me try on another dress from the same designer in the size he was going to order, just so we knew it was as close as we could get. I really appreciated that. When my dress came in, the size was spot on.

Go with a friend or two, err on the side of granny panties, take a camera, and just have fun. There are so many styles out there that you will find lots of things that look good on you.

ms_teach · July 2010

I went last Monday and was sooo worried. I went by myself to get a feel for it and wore boyshorts since they'd be helping me in and out. I also started at DB because I didn't think I'd actually buy a dress there. I wanted to do a test drive so to speak.

Believe it or not, I got the best service at DB, but didn't like any of their dresses. I ended up going to four stores total and narrowing it down to a handful of dresses. We're going back next Monday as a group to hopefully find the one.

The girls were really helpful pulling things that looked great on me. I don't really like my arms either (though I'm midway through the 100 push up challenge and am seeing results already) and thought I'd get a bolero, but I didn't even notice my arms in several of the dresses.

Keep an open mind, have fun, and bring back pictures!

btrflykate1230 · July 2010

I did. I have a very loose belly because I was pregnant and I'm so so self conscious of it.

I told them what body parts I was self-conscious of and they made sure they put stuff on me that pulled me in, in all the right places. It was fantastic! It definitely made me feel more comfortable knowing that they were trying to help me cover my flaws.

september's bride · July 2010

I haven't read all the other responses, so let me apologize first if this has already been stated.

There is something inherently weird about wedding dresses. It seems that when they don't fit you, or they look weird, it's the dress' fault and not your body's. It's not made right, the fabric's wrong, etc. and it never really seems like a pair of jeans that doesn't fit simply because your ass/thighs/etc are just not cooperating, you know?

My point is not to overthink it and to have fun seeing what works and what doesn't. Don't expect to find your dress right away, and treat this first foray as a learning experience!

jamiefour · July 2010

I thank all of you who responded. I am going to go in with a positive attitude so I will let all of you know how it goes.

susieq87 · July 2010

I am glad you asked this because I am going dress shopping for the first time on Saturday, and I am not small. I dont think I am really heavy, I just have bigger assets! Anyway, I am with you. I am nervous that they won't have sizes to fit me, but I am going with my MoH who I know will help me have fun and enjoy the experience even with my insecurity. I really hope you have fun tomorrow because you only get to do this once!!!

Did anyone else feel this way???

Re: Did anyone else feel this way???

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