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Just Engaged and Proposals
No Idea
Hello!
So I'm thinking about proposing to my girlfriend on Christmas Eve, and have many questions. First - I have no idea what to do about the ring. I'm a medical student, so I don't have very much of a budget but do have plenty of debt already. I think I could probably swing around $1500 - I have no idea if that's even a good amount or not.
About the ring - my girlfriend has next to no jewelry, and only wears pearl earrings I bought her. I've never seen her wear a ring in the 4 years we've been dating! The only things she's said is that she once made fun of a ring where the central diamond was popping out, saying that it looked funny that it was just on this huge pedastal. Almost mocking the "hey look at me, I'm a huge diamond" aspect of some rings. Her overall style is consistent with that. I wouldn't say she's plain, but I would say that she is a fan of jeans. We're also both "country folk", in that we live simple and non-extravagent lives. Although, she does love nice, expensive, and top of the line things, but just things like electronics and cooking materials (i.e. won't settle for anything less than the absolute highest end pots and pans, All Clad copper core). She's never shown an interest in jewelry besides pearl and diamond earrings, and has openly talked about her dislike of cheap jewelry that she may get from some random person for Christmas (i.e. grandma rings/bracelets/necklaces).
Based on that, I was thinking of getting a lower profile kind of ring, like the 3 stone or "side stone" rings I've been seeing, but I just don't know. Does anyone have any advice or experience with a similar situation? I don't want to get something and have her secretly hate it, but I equally don't like the idea of having her pick the ring out herself (we're probably a little too traditional for that).
Is my budget sufficient, or should I try to wait and save more? What should I shoot for?
Can you tell I'm lost? 
Thanks in advance!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: No Idea
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]I'm not a fan of the princess cut, either. I think that the emerald cut is a really classic looking shape, as well. I love the way it looks set in between two baguettes: <a href="http://www.bluenile.com/built_ring_details.jsp?built_ring_id=AF9A87C68C638F84E04010ACA020345E" rel='nofollow'>http://www.bluenile.com/built_ring_details.jsp?built_ring_id=AF9A87C68C638F84E04010ACA020345E</a>
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
I really love this last one you posted. Looks very similar to my mom's engagement ring. Beautiful and classic. If she is classic and simple, but doesn't liked solitaire rings, I'd go with the three stone ring.
My boyfriend and I went shopping together beforehand, and this is what we picked out. Granted, it looks funny in the picture but on a finger it is gorgeous, and we are getting it with a round stone. I didn't want the focus to be a diamond, I wanted the actual ring to be unique/special.
Definately check out Helzberg if you have one in your area!
http://www.helzberg.com/product/1-7ct+tw+diamond+semi-mount+engagement+ring1774254.do?sortby=ourPicks
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Idea : I kind of agree with that. If you are willing to do that, I would think you'd be better off asking for her input before buying it. Plus, I was super excited to show off my ring when I was telling people we were engaged - all the ideas I listed would be great, but I'd be tortured with having to wait to get my "real" ring.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
I also agree. My FI is in a very tight financial situation, but he was set on us waiting until he could afford a ring he considered good enough, rather than a temporary ring. <div>
</div><div>OP, I also wanted to be surprised with the ring, so I'm with your GF on that. But it is really difficult to predict what she may want without some type of discussion. </div><div>
</div><div>You can either go the full on ring shopping together (obviously not purchasing right there). </div><div>
</div><div>You can ring shop online by looking at various pictures</div><div>
</div><div>Or you can go more round about by mentioning different rings of people you know and seeing what her reaction to them is. For instance, Sally has a 3-stone setting similar to what you're looking for, so you say to her, 'You know, I just realized Sally has a really nice engagement ring. What do you think?' Then repeat with another style (perhaps the princess you believe she doesn't like). Just an idea!</div>
My Bio
My FI went with this
http://www.moissaniteco.com/round-brilliant-moissanite-wedding-set-setting-225ct-p-10593.html
maybe have her take a look and see what she says about it. Its nothing like CZ. its a real stone that is durable.
Just another good option! Good luck!!!
[QUOTE]Ya, I don't really like that idea either, but what's probably most important to us is the actual relationship, not so much even the ring itself. That's why it wouldn't really bother me if she wanted a different one, because it's not like I'm attached to it or anything. But I guess she will be, even if it's a style she doesn't like most. There are so many variables at play - like whether it would be better to get more carats or higher quality, knowing that in the future they could be upgraded (am I correct in that that wouldn't be a break against the symbolism and all that?). And even when considering quality, which of the 3 is most important (i.e. does color not matter as much as cut but clarity is the biggest etc.). The whole paradigm is weird, because we both come from modest families. My brother got married a few years ago with what I'm sure was a less than $500 ring, probably the same for both our parents. Yet our future together will be vastly different financially. So it's weird that this life long thing she'll have will reflect our past more often than our future. Maybe I'm looking into the quality/cost too much...
Posted by AcousticMD[/QUOTE]
To me, quality is what is important. The color and cut are what make a diamond, sapphire or whatever gemstone beautiful...not the carat.
That is what my FI did for me. He got me the most beautiful and highest quality violet sapphire he could find. I am so happy with it.
[QUOTE]What about something like this? I think it strikes a balance between low profile without all the super bling of the other side stone ones, and I think it would match her personality. It's a little over budget, but life is over budget. It'd be great if someone knew of benchmarks I should shoot for - like "don't get below color x because it'll be really noticeable" or "if you have smaller than x carats in that ring it'll look awkard" or "higher than this clarity and you really can't tell that much of a difference" etc. Thanks as always. <a href="http://www.bluenile.com/build-your-own-diamond-ring?action=add&forceStep=STYLE_STEP&pid=LD02200263" rel='nofollow'>http://www.bluenile.com/build-your-own-diamond-ring?action=add&forceStep=STYLE_STEP&pid=LD02200263</a>
Posted by AcousticMD[/QUOTE]
<div>Which one?</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Idea : I didn't care AT ALL about clarity. I cared about size. (I'm a brat, what can I say?) No one notices the inclusion except me and FI, and I don't think he saw it until I pointed it out. Okay, I guess I did care somewhat about the clarity. But I knew that by getting a brilliant cut diamond, they wouldn't be as noticeable.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
I cared more about the size too, which is why my FI originally bought me a stone 2x as large as I wanted. Problem is, those stinkin lights at the jewelry store make everything look fabulous! When he got home, he said it looked like 'white kryptonite.' I never saw it. The next day he went back & exchanged it for a diamond slightly smaller, but much better clarity. <div>
</div><div>In his words, 'what's the point in getting a big diamond if it doesn't sparkle from across the room?' Romantic, huh?</div>
My Bio
You could say that a friend of yours is going to propose and asked for advise on a ring he picked because he has no idea. Show her a picture of what your friend has in mind (but really what you have in mind) and see her reaction. Basically make it seem that you have a friend going through what you are and say they asked for a wonmen's opinion. If you think you could pull it off it's a sneeky way to bring up the topic.
Oh ok, well there you go. At least it's a way to touch on the subject and see if you can get any new information or ideas. Maybe you can get a "oh I really like this about it" or "Oh i really don't that style I would rather have...."
Good Luck!