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Wedding Woes
LnR70707
member
do I need a ho sit down card?
in Wedding Woes
or does DH need a punch in the junk?
I have a baby shower on sunday and I told DH weeks ago that he'd need to watch C or let me know if he can't (he said he could). Last night I mention it and he has forgotten and tells me that he'll probably take him over to MIL's so he can go do the hunting stuff he wants. In response to why couldn't he watch him himself...."I don't like sitting at home alone". WTF does he think I do half the time?
You all know my issues w/ MIL, and now we are also dealing with eczema, which started the day after he left him at MILs (without my knowledge) a few weeks ago and everything came home reeking of smoke. Probably coincidence, but is it too much to ask that he watch our son one day for more than a few hours without pawning him off on his family?? Or should I just be happy he'll take him at all? I was really looking forward to an afternoon with friends, but now I'm just pissed off.
I have a baby shower on sunday and I told DH weeks ago that he'd need to watch C or let me know if he can't (he said he could). Last night I mention it and he has forgotten and tells me that he'll probably take him over to MIL's so he can go do the hunting stuff he wants. In response to why couldn't he watch him himself...."I don't like sitting at home alone". WTF does he think I do half the time?
You all know my issues w/ MIL, and now we are also dealing with eczema, which started the day after he left him at MILs (without my knowledge) a few weeks ago and everything came home reeking of smoke. Probably coincidence, but is it too much to ask that he watch our son one day for more than a few hours without pawning him off on his family?? Or should I just be happy he'll take him at all? I was really looking forward to an afternoon with friends, but now I'm just pissed off.
br>
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
This discussion has been closed.
Re: do I need a ho sit down card?
Crap...I Mean Crafts
Seriously, stay home with your kid.
[QUOTE]*boxes up punch for Mr. Conn*
Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]
Psst...It's not my husband. Well, you can send one for good measure if you want to.
But mr L&R does deserve a junkpunch. ;)
I just a friendly gal looking for options.
[QUOTE]Wait wait wait...<strong>he brought him to your MIL's house with out your knowledge</strong>? I'd be pissed over that, and then he says he'll just bring him over for this weekend. There would be words in my house. Lots of angry words.
Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]
I knew he took him there, just didn't find out until later that he left him there to go hunting. He "thinks" he has mentioned to MIL not to smoke anywhere inside while C is there, but I do not trust her judgement when there isn't someone around to call her on her sh!t.
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
And this:
Or should I just be happy he'll take him at all?
Makes me much more violent. NO. You should not just be happy he'll take him at all. IT"S HIS KID!!!!!!! (it is, isn't it?)
And if he didn't want to sit around all day, why did he make the committment to begin with? Was his intention to pawn kid off on MIL the entire time?
Oh, I could drive a truck through his argument and make him miserable for the better part of a night over this.
[QUOTE]I'd be pissed about him making a committment to me (whether it is spending time with the kid, or paying a bill, or picking up milk) that he later forgot and was /trying to shirk. And if he didn't want to sit around all day, why did he make the committment to begin with? <strong>Was his intention to pawn kid off on MIL the entire time? Oh, I could drive a truck through his argument and make him miserable for the better part of a night over this.
</strong>Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]
Probably....he said it would give MIL time to "bond". I'm sorry, but at this age, no one needs to be "bonding" with our kid but us. FFS, he doesn't even have object permanence yet.
As for the arguing part, he'll will flip this back onto me and say it is because I hate his family, so I needed an outside objective opinion that it wasn't just my neuroticism over her smoking that was taking over before starting that world war.
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
[QUOTE]I'll echo everyone else and say that he needs to take care of his child, but also want to say that your MIL refraining from smoking in the house while C is there doesn't do schit. Third hand smoke is real and absolutely affects C. If she's smoking in the house, it's all over the carpet, furniture, etc.
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]
Also, this. It's all over everything.
[QUOTE]I'll echo everyone else and say that he needs to take care of his child, but also want to say that your MIL refraining from smoking in the house while C is there doesn't do schit. Third hand smoke is real and absolutely affects C. If she's smoking in the house, it's all over the carpet, furniture, etc.
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]
Oh I know, but I can't control what she does in her own house while we aren't there (though if it looks like this eczema is triggered/worsened by it I will try my hardest or he won't be setting foot inside again). DH is of the "I grew up with it and I'm fine" attitude. The best I can do right now is limit it as much as possible. Complete avoidance just isn't an option without literally tearing our family apart.
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
[QUOTE]I'll echo everyone else and say that he needs to take care of his child, but also want to say that your MIL refraining from smoking in the house while C is there doesn't do schit. Third hand smoke is real and absolutely affects C. If she's smoking in the house, it's all over the carpet, furniture, etc.
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]
This, this, and this.
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]
why doesn't your opinion doesn't count? (that's what i would say to him. and then it would probably degenerate into "you grew up with it and turned into an a$$hole who doesn't respect what i want" followed by "i will just cancel because you are a dickbag who doesn't think your child is your responsibility, not your family's" and then let him sleep on the lawn.)
[QUOTE]<strong>why doesn't your opinion doesn't count?</strong> (that's what i would say to him. and then it would probably degenerate into "you grew up with it and turned into an a$$hole who doesn't respect what i want" followed by "i will just cancel because you are a dickbag who doesn't think your child is your responsibility, not your family's" and then let him sleep on the lawn.)
Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]
It does (somewhat, I fully admit he is a total assbag when it comes to his mother), which is why she doesn't dare smoke in front of C, like she does with all her other grandchildren. Seriously...if H and I ever get divorced....this will be why. DH thinks I'm being extreme and 3rd hand smoke isn't that bad (again, only his mother...any one else and he is fully behind me).
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: do I need a ho sit down card? : Probably....he said it would give MIL time to "bond". I'm sorry, but at this age, no one needs to be "bonding" with our kid but us. FFS, he doesn't even have object permanence yet. As for the arguing part, he'll will flip this back onto me and say it is because I hate his family, so I needed an outside objective opinion that it wasn't just my neuroticism over her smoking that was taking over before starting that world war.
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]
To which you ask him, "Do you hate YOUR family. i.e., YOUR KID?!?! because you are actively avoiding spending time with him. Additionally, you are willing to put YOUR child IN DANGER (of the second- and third-hand smoke) so you can go recreating."
Seriously, don't let him make this about you and his family. This is about HIM and HIS child. Just because your H is fine after growing up with his mother's smoke, doesn't mean everyone will be equally affected, or unaffected. I mean, some smokers get cancer and other's don't. The effects are not uniform.
If he tries to make it about his mom, telling him to stop hiding behind his mommy and talk about the real issue at hand.
[QUOTE]So your H is willing to endanger your child's wellbeing, to make his mother happy?
Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]
Yep. Meanwhile C has barely set foot in my parents house because they are borderline hoarders. I make them come see him in our house while they work on purging. DH has no balls when it comes to his mother...it is increasingly obvious that he just buried the apron strings rather than cutting them.
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]
so mil will listen to you, but r won't? yeah, he can make himself a nice spot in front of the hedge and sleep there. it will be like hunting, which he loves so very, very much.
[QUOTE] i wouldnt do the passive/agressive cancel on your shower plans though
Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]
<div>Agreed. He'd come home from "hunting" or whatever to find the facking locks changed.</div>
[QUOTE]i agree you cannot control what MIL does in her own place, but you can certainly control the amount of time baby C spends there. if she cannot refrain from smoking in her home while you are there, then i would refuse visiting. and i would probably keep the kid from going with your H for the day if that were the case. i wouldnt do the passive/agressive cancel on your shower plans though, but just because he is fine doesnt mean you should allow the same things to go on. heck, <strong>our parents often smoked while pregnant with us. does that mean it's okay to do nowadays?
</strong>Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]
1) This. Remember when people didn't have to wear seatbelts? LET'S THROW OUT THE CAR SEAT! <- Yeah, this doesn't fly.
2) I would not cancel my plans. I would hold him to his. And, I would make him so miserable for even thinking about bailing on his kid, that he wouldn't ever think to do it again.
3) I'm thinking the yard is too nice for him. Let him stay on his mother's smokey couch.
IF/Baby Blog
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929