Future children?

Shanee18 · December 2011

In your perfect world where you could create your own future, what would your family look like? How many kids? Boys, girls, both? Age difference between them? Any reasons why?

If I could choose, I would like to have a boy first and then a girl, and be done. I am the oldest in my family and have a younger brother, and Fi is the oldest of 3 boys. I think one of each is perfect, but I would like a boy first because I would like him to protect his little sister and watch out for her. I would like them to be 2-3 years apart so it doesn't kill us financially (paying for college in the future? AHHH!), but so that they are close enough in age where they can spend time together and have fun.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:e52744b1-e945-4d70-bbea-88315e7a38e9">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : My parents still have our triplet stroller :)
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>Ha, that's great!! </div>

acaponi87 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:caf8c4a7-80ac-4b27-8121-8cff3f72d2aa">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]We will be adopting, for a few reasons. First, I really don't feel the need to add to the world's burgeoning population. Let's figure out how to live sustainably, first. Second, there are sooooo many kids in the world today that need loving parents. In Canada alone, there are 30,000 kids waiting to be adopted. Internationally...so many! Third, the thought of pregnancy and childbirth completely freaks me out. Seriously--something living inside of me? Ew! And then exiting my body? Ouch! I am the oldest of three biological children (two girls, one boy) and two adopted children (one boy, one girl). I feel like because our family has been through the adoption process, I have a better idea of what to expect, and I've also done a ton of reading and research on grief and attachment. I think God is sort of preparing me and FI for being adoptive parents--to 3-5 kids, or however many God wants us to have. I would sort of like a girl first, but it's not a big deal. Some boys and some girls would be nice. The way my family happened was that us three biological kids were 2 1/2 to 3 years apart (carefully planned) and then my adopted bro is 5 years younger than my youngest bio sib, and my adopted sis is 3 years younger than him. I like the way it worked out, because while all of us bio kids are in college and finding jobs in the real world, Mom and Dad still have two kids at home. And they get a little break from paying for college. :) When we have our kids, they'll be ready to babysit!
Posted by kipnus[/QUOTE]

I think this is wonderful! My Ex's family did a nice mix of having biological and adopted children. They had 4 kids and then chose to adopt a pair of siblings from Vietnam. It's especially nice because the adopted kids had a bit of both worlds..a large new loving family and their own biological sibling alongside them.

gregamywedding · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:63ab3f07-5238-43d3-b76c-1bc47fe612a4">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just laugh about this conversation, but only because I am DONE having babies. My son is 10. FI's children are as follows: 8, 11, 12, 17, 19, 20, 21, and oh, he's also the grandfather with a 2 yr old grandson. We have is youngest 3 every other weekend and one day a week. And, this MAY be changing due to the fact that his ex is a stupid **^&^&* person (I posted about the situation a while back). His 17 yr old son will be in the wedding with the youngest 3 and my son. His 19 yr old daughter is stuborn just like him so they are not on the greatest speaking terms right now. Some day, they will get over it and he'll be able to see his grandson (he has yet to do that). And the oldest 2 girls he doesn't have a relationship at all :( I think we have enough to handle as it is! :)
Posted by KrisKenny[/QUOTE]

That does sound like you have plenty to handle already.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

I would start having children at 24. We would have a boy first to be an older protective brother. The name we've chosen is Matthew Brody. Then we'd have a girl at least 3 years after. The girl name we've chosen is Melinda Rose. I would love to move back to Texas and work in advertising after being a stay at home mom for a little bit

chelseakopperud · December 2011

I like this thread

Great idea!

In my version of a perfect world, I would be a stay at home mom (maybe teach one class per semester to get out of the house). We would have:

Carter (duh)
Girl 9 months after the wedding
Girl when 1st girl is 1 and 9 months
Boy when 2nd girl is 1 and 9 months

Then adopt a child when youngest boy is 4 of 5....

So ages when adoption takes place would be:

Carter: 13 (ok that is weird to even think about!!!)
Girl 1: age 8 and 6 months
Girl 2: age 6 and 9 months
Boy 2: age 5
Girl or Boy Adopted: less than 3 months

If this worked out the way I think is perfect, I would be 35 when we adopted our last child and FI would be 39.

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

Fi and I want 4 kids (right now anyways...we'll see how child birth with the first two goes at least). If we were to have 2 boys or 2 girls, we would try for a third, but we don't want an odd number of children, so we would go for 4. We're deifnitely stopping at 4. I really want to start trying the fall/winter after I turn 25. I'll be 24 when we get married.

Ideally they would be 2-3 years apart. No more because I want them to be in high school, etc. at the same time to take care of each other.

I would also choose to have a boy first. FI, myself and practically everyone I know come from a family where the girl is the oldest and I really want to see how the relationships differ when the brother is the oldest. I think ideally, we would go boy, girl, boy, girl so they can be close-ish in age to their sibling of the same sex.

And as a side note to the in a perfect world where you would create your children...I have no answer to that. BUT our friends have decided that if she's going to conceive a baby next year it's going to be on the 50 yard line at the Georgia Dome after our home opener next year.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

I'd also like to have a natural birth. I'm terrified with needles and want as few as possible throughout my pregnancy and birth. FI said he refuses to let me go through that pain haha so we'll see

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:06c78c6c-0664-4650-88ae-39ee470f42e2">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : Too cute. Katelyn, which one are you? Smiley, sleepy or distracted? Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

I love how you phrased that.

chelseakopperud · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:305ba564-6bfd-449a-8fc9-28163f2bb165">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd also like to have a natural birth. I'm terrified with needles and want as few as possible throughout my pregnancy and birth. FI said he refuses to let me go through that pain haha so we'll see
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

Zims- You need to have him on board if you are going to do a natural child birth. I have book suggestions for when you are ready. It is an AMAZING experience and I KNOW you can do it. It is the best for you and your baby as long as there are no medical conditions that come into play. Seriously- best experience of my life. Your body was made to have babies.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:0dfc270b-16cf-4a4e-9f9d-0e09cce4547a">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : Zims- You need to have him on board if you are going to do a natural child birth. I have book suggestions for when you are ready. It is an AMAZING experience and I KNOW you can do it. It is the best for you and your baby as long as there are no medical conditions that come into play. Seriously- best experience of my life. Your body was made to have babies.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]
I think he was just teasing me because I'm having back problems but I would really love to have a natural birth. Could you give me some book recs now and I'll pin them so I remember haha

ncd5015 · December 2011

FI and I go back and forth between how many we really want. We would love 4 (ideally 2 boys, 2 girls) but we really want to be able to travel a lot and it can get really expensive with more people! We definitely want to, but in the end we will probably have 3. I'm the middle of 3 (older sister, younger brother) and FI is the oldest of 3 boys. In a perfect world, the boy would be first, then a girl, and then a boy. I have a younger brother and I really love it! I think every girl needs a younger brother

I would like them to be close in age also. My sister is 5 years older than me and we are very close, but I've always kind of felt like the oldest sometimes because she wasn't around for certain things.

My cousin just had her second child, so she has a boy and a girl, and everyone keeps saying "oh, the million dollar family". I had never heard that before until this year!

Megbo2012 · December 2011

FI jokes he wants all boys, because they are easier. I don't know who decided that because young boys can be a handful. Preferably boy, girl, boy about 2 years apart. I'd like one of each, haha.

chelseakopperud · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:3dbf4bc3-7487-4436-9d84-909f945dd849">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : I think he was just teasing me because I'm having back problems but I would really love to have a natural birth. Could you give me some book recs now and I'll pin them so I remember haha
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

Ina May's Guide to Child Birth by Ina May Gaskin

That book changed my whole outlook on child birth.

Sarah0335 · December 2011

If we decide to have kids (still really conflicted on this!), I would only want ot have one. They will probably have wicked only child syndrome from being spoiled though. I see bonuses to having a boy or a girl, so I don't have a preference.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:56926097-c51a-4887-9b91-940a04e74b82">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : Ina May's Guide to Child Birth by Ina May Gaskin That book changed my whole outlook on child birth.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]
Thank you :)

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:953fd1cc-788b-4952-8f77-321a5546031c">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]If we decide to have kids (still really conflicted on this!), I would only want ot have one. They will probably have <strong>wicked only child syndrome from being spoiled</strong> though. I see bonuses to having a boy or a girl, so I don't have a preference.
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]

<div>FI's nephew is like this. I think you can have one child and not spoil them and have them turn into a brat. </div>

chelseakopperud · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:816d57df-be56-4497-bf77-a4ca6fc754b5">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : Thank you :)
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

I have also heard wonderful things about the Bradley Method.

<a href="http://www.bradleybirth.com/">http://www.bradleybirth.com/</a>

acaponi87 · December 2011

Weird, FI and i were just talking about this last night! Ideally we'd like 2.. A boy and a girl. We had said 5 years after we're married but it came out last night that FI wants to start a bit earlier..he's 2 years older than me (27 when we're married) and doesn't like the idea of having his first kid when he's 32. So we'll probably start having them in 3 or 4 years. I'd say i'd like a boy first.. To get it 'out of the way'. I come from a family of 3 girls and in my large extended family girls definetely dominate. Even in the 'next generation' (my cousin's kids) there are 4..and all girls so far. My dad would be heartbroken if he didn't have a grandson. Then we got into the 'well what if we ended up with 2 girls or 2 boys do we try 1 more time talk... its got a dismal success rate in my family and i think FIs biggest fear is ending up with 3 girls like my dad. however i love my sisters and i feel like the fact that there was 3 of usbrought balance to our relationships, so i'm a little more open to the idea of a 3rd than FI. Who knows though.. that all is still a long time away. Oh and i think 2 or 3 years apart. I wanna be done being pregnant sooner than later once i've started.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:eb3d9cca-9f0b-4b02-8085-f32ba3ab374a">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : I have also heard wonderful things about the Bradley Method. <a href="http://www.bradleybirth.com/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.bradleybirth.com/</a>
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]
Just pinned both :D

Teep · December 2011

I used to want 6 or more. My mom is one of 7 and I love having a big family. I have two sisters, one older, one younger, and we've got 6 years bewteen the 3 of us. I really liked having two sisters close in age. We want at least 2, but if we only have 2 I would hope they were the same sex. It's like having built-in friends. FI has one sister, she's about 7 years younger than him. I definitely do not want an age difference that big.

acaponi87 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:85377767-1067-4e78-b867-0d526a40ac70">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : FI's nephew is like this. I think you can have one child and not spoil them and have them turn into a brat.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I think there is a big difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. My parents spoiled the hell out of me and my sisters. But we were also disciplined, taught responsibility and were extremely grateful for everything our parents provided us with. Spoiled...sure! Just not a jerk :)

daria24 · December 2011

I think you are all crazy! I don't want any kids. But in an ideal world, my sister (who is currently 19) will start having kids in 5 years and she will have two little girls that she will send to me to stay for a week in the city and I will get to take them everywhere and spoil them rotten. And then send them back to their mother to parent for the other 51 weeks of the year

Megbo2012 · December 2011

I'm an only child and I hate it. I felt like I missed out on a lot of things, honestly.

CvilleClaire · December 2011

In this perfect world, do I also have the money to send all these children to a top high school, a great college, and then graduate school?

Even then, I don't think we're meant to have children at the stage in life where we are.

gregamywedding · December 2011

We only want two. FI doesn't want any girls only boys. I would be good with whatever. I am somewhat terrified to have kids. Identical twins run in my family. My mom is a twin and her twin had twins and my mom has twin cousins. I can't imagine having two babies at one time. So far no one else in the family has had twins and everyone is pretty much done having kids but me. I am hoping it skips me.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

I would love to have 2 kids about 2-3 years apart. A boy and a girl ideally but really I don't have too much of a preference. My FI and I have even thought about having 1 kid and then waiting a bit and adopting.

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:f8d2d523-ff90-4e44-bd4b-488d8e4fe3fe">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]We only want two. FI doesn't want any girls only boys. I would be good with whatever. I am somewhat terrified to have kids. Identical twins run in my family. My mom is a twin and her twin had twins and my mom has twin cousins. I can't imagine having two babies at one time. So far no one else in the family has had twins and everyone is pretty much done having kids but me. I am hoping it skips me.
Posted by gregamywedding[/QUOTE]

<div>When I was little, I wanted two sets of twins, because I had two sets for my doll house. Purple twins and pink twins. I think one "set" would be fun, because then I could have this:</div><div>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '2bcfd70e-d78b-4570-92b6-8c5077764f8b', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/2/2bcfd70e-d78b-4570-92b6-8c5077764f8b.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div><div>to tote them around in. And by tote I mean run, I need a B.O.B when I have kids. haha</div>

Sarah0335 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:5bc03cf9-afec-40ce-8a96-603bd64b6966">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : I think there is a big difference between being spoiled and being a spoiled brat. My parents spoiled the hell out of me and my sisters. But we were also disciplined, taught responsibility and were extremely grateful for everything our parents provided us with. Spoiled...sure! Just not a jerk :)
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I was raised too and how I would want my child.

Shanee18 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:c5e8fb78-237f-4ac0-b85f-a4d6c6033168">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : When I was little, I wanted two sets of twins, because I had two sets for my doll house. Purple twins and pink twins. I think one "set" would be fun, because then I could have this: to tote them around in. <strong>And by tote I mean run</strong>, I need a B.O.B when I have kids. haha
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

That is awesome.

Fi always said he wanted to have twins and be done..but somehow I am thinking he plans on ME being the one to take care of both babies when they cry, throw up, and poop...

Megbo2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_future-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:aec6f3b3-1f3e-4e0c-9b81-ba5cf9b68bbcPost:b1fb181b-589c-4b18-bcf7-7698208148b0">Re: Future children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future children? : That is awesome. Fi always said he wanted to have twins and be done..but somehow I am thinking he plans on ME being the one to take care of both babies when they cry, throw up, and poop...
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm so excited for that. FI and I want to do road races with them. I think it will be so fun! And he jokes that I'm the one who will pass the child off to him. He babysat children and babies, but I just did children so he is way better with babies. I'll learn. He just thinks I'll make him do all the diapers. (I won't) My Mom told me that my father didn't change one diaper, and I believe it. hahaha</div>

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