Open Letter

Becky&Chris · April 2010

Dear Doctor's Office,

Why do you take 9 years to get back to me with blood work results? All you have to do is pull the results off of the lab's website and read them to me. Maybe you could take 5 minutes out of your 2 HOUR lunch to fill me in. In return, I promise to try not to cuss you out when you call.

Love,
Bec

*

Dear Bec,

Stop Knotting and go do some work.

Love,
Bec

BecW2be · April 2010

Dear Cute Headband,
Please stop hurting my head. You are far too cute to take off, but I'll be forced to if you give me a headache.
Love,
Bec

Dear NCDOT,
When you kill someone with your fucked up traffic pattern at the new intersection right by my work, I hope someone sues theshit out of you. You deserve it. I have $100 that says the "plans" for this new road are actually crayon sketches on kindergarten handwriting paper. You fucking suck. A blind, deaf monkey with no hands and one toe up his ass could design a better intersection.
Love,
Pretty Sure I'm Going to Die at That Intersection Bec

JessAndTrav · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:4efdb59b-4f98-410b-8647-4577665a461a">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]A blind, deaf monkey with no hands and one toe up his ass could design a better intersection.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

What if his whole foot was up his ass? ;)

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:45ab946c-a999-405b-8524-9c60f99a03f3">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Doctor's Office, Why do you take 9 years to get back to me with blood work results? All you have to do is pull the results off of the lab's website and read them to me. Maybe you could take 5 minutes out of your 2 HOUR lunch to fill me in. In return, I promise to try not to cuss you out when you call. Love, Bec * Dear Bec, Stop Knotting and go do some work. Love, Bec
Posted by Becky&Chris[/QUOTE]

Dear OP,

Bec has been taken (please refer to post below yours). Please refer to yourself in another way. Becky is fine, or B&C or BC, but telling Bec to stop knotting and get to work could get you into lots of trouble around these parts.

vallyhoo · April 2010

Dear assholes,
Please stop walking your dogs off leash in the morning.

Or else.
V

BecW2be · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:82e03c71-4a72-4abd-bdb6-53052ebfdc5d">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Letter : What if his whole foot was up his ass? ;)
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

He could have the feet of 7 monkeys and a random raccoon up his ass and STILL do a better job.

NuggetBrain · April 2010

Dear Mom -
You know I love you and all, but please stop shoving yourself into our personal business. If we decide to have Noodle's sisters stay at our apartment the night before the wedding, it doesn't suddenly mean that I'm going to be up until 9 am and not get any sleep and look horrible on my wedding day, and I'm really tired of you pushing your opinion on me about this. It also doesn't give you the right to tell his mom that she should pay for them to stay in a hotel. Rude.

Dear Noodle -
I know you need lots of attention, but running through the apartment naked and doing your "mating call" makes me question your mental stability. Adding in the teabagging while I'm trying to watch TV and I'm pretty sure I'm getting married to a 12 year old boy. I still love you though.

LaceyMK · April 2010

Dear Coworker #1,
If I can smell you before I see you, you're wearing too much perfume.
Thanks, Lacey.

Dear Coworker #2,
I think it's swell that your on a week long vacation. Can you do this more often? It makes my work life so much less stressful.
Thanks, Lacey.

danieliza1127 · April 2010

Dear Nugget,

TMI

Love
Dani

opalsky007 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:5304e6da-5d0b-4c30-9ebc-0f463ff7e486">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Nugget,
TMI
Love Dani
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Cosigned, Opal

aMrsin09 · April 2010

Dear H
If you try to kiss me one more time while you are all germy infested, i am going to send you to live with Alexia's Robert and you two can snuggle all you want.

Your loving DW

Dear moving company,
I know you said you needed the paperwork right away, but in order for me to do that, I need you to supply the answers to questions right away.
We can do this!

Thanks

atayk21 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:3099dd3b-d1c5-4d61-a9ec-9c4e062da6dd">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Mom - You know I love you and all, but please stop shoving yourself into our personal business. If we decide to have Noodle's sisters stay at our apartment the night before the wedding, it doesn't suddenly mean that I'm going to be up until 9 am and not get any sleep and look horrible on my wedding day, and I'm really tired of you pushing your opinion on me about this. It also doesn't give you the right to tell his mom that she should pay for them to stay in a hotel. Rude. Dear Noodle - I know you need lots of attention, but running through the apartment naked and doing your "mating call" makes me question your mental stability. Adding in the teabagging while I'm trying to watch TV and I'm pretty sure I'm getting married to a 12 year old boy. I still love you though.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

I thought my husband was the only one who still did this as an adult. Thankfully it is not an everyday occurence, and thankfully I am not alone.

tidetravel · April 2010

Dear Nuggs,

In order to avoid the mental picture that you just painted, Noodle will forevermore be portrayed in my mind as a Spatuletail hummingbird. You can thank Discovery's "Life" for that.

AlexiaANDRobert · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:8b9aa7ec-4cf6-48b2-b013-ed1ea3aac70d">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear H If you try to kiss me one more time while you are all germy infested, i am going to send you to live with Alexia's Robert and you two can snuggle all you want. Your loving DW Dear moving company, I know you said you needed the paperwork right away, but in order for me to do that, I need you to supply the answers to questions right away. We can do this! Thanks
Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

Can we get them their own place cause I don't think I can handle to affectionate germ boys!?!

kikibaby · April 2010

Thank you, Tide, I feel better with that image in my mind.

JessAndTrav · April 2010

Dear Mother Nature,

Every time the wind blows today, it makes my door sound like someone is on the other side of it.

Please stop making my jump every few seconds.

With Gratitude,
Jess

Trifury2007 · April 2010

Dear legs,
Please stop hurting soon. I know you ran 26.2 in Boston for me on Monday and I appreciate that but I wasn't this sore after Ironman and that was over 100 miles longer. Plus I wanted to bike 30 miles this weekend pain free.

Thanks,
T

sweetpea0911 · April 2010

Dear Mr. Nice FCC man,

I understand that you are from a big important government organization and that when you want something, you want ti RIGHT NOW OMGWTFBBQ. However, I am just a lowly student trying to deal with tech problems while my chief technician is out and I simply can not help you. Yelling at me and telling me I will never be allowed to work in radio again is not helping the situation, though. I'm trying to work with you, but hanging up on me and then calling back 30 seconds later to see if it is fixed yet is not going to solve the problem.

Also, I'm very sorry that the technicians laughed at you and questioned whether or not you are real, or simply another student trying to bump up their computer in the priority line. You will need to take that up with them, however, and not me. Try talking to their boss - you seem to have great people skills.

Working as hard as I can to fix this and not hate you,

SweetPea

AlexiaANDRobert · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9366b137-82cf-46b8-9ad6-97588ba2e256Post:cca388ab-263a-4b89-ae5f-b4d27d4f8e7d">Re: Open Letter</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear legs, Please stop hurting soon. I know you ran 26.2 in Boston for me on Monday and I appreciate that but I wasn't this sore after Ironman and that was over 100 miles longer. Plus I wanted to bike 30 miles this weekend pain free. Thanks, T
Posted by Trifury2007[/QUOTE]

Dear T -

Quit braggin!

Love,
Someone who is very envious of your abilities

kate51485 · April 2010

Dear Sweetpea,

Are you going to write a new letter to each person you talk to as your situation evolves?

JW,
k#

mandapanda78 · April 2010

Dear Boss,

I know you're busy, but can you please approve the expense report I submitted over a week ago? I'd like to recoup the $900 I laid out to go on a business trip. You were really good about this last time, so I know you've got it in you!

Thanks,

Manda

(PS- I am really enjoying working for you!)

Nebb · April 2010

Dear husband,
Seeing as how I never see you now because of your comic, I am requesting a very specific wedding anniversary gift which is super awesome and I want REALLY bad, to make up for the lack of attention I have gotten since October. You can afford it, do not pretend you cant. If you love me like you say you do, you WILL buy this for me.
Love,
me.

sweetpea0911 · April 2010

Dear kate#,

It's possible, but not likely. The techs and Mr. FCC man are just giving me a headache, and yelling at them won't fix things.

Thanks for asking,

SweetPea

jamiefour · April 2010

Dear Aunt Flo,
Please go away and take your bloating, cramps and feeling crappy all over with you.
Thanks,
Jamie

jasmineh7777 · April 2010

Dear Trifury,
Would you like to trade legs?
Hopefully yours,
Jasmine

ohwhynot · April 2010

Dear Jasmine's Grandpa: What the hell is wrong with you? You are a bully and you suck.

JessAndTrav · April 2010

Dear Lyssa5782,

The following picture in your signature looks strange. It looks like a very uncomfortable kiss.

Just something I noticed yesterday.

Regards,
Someone who doesn't like awkward kissing pictures in signatures

NuggetBrain · April 2010

Dear Dani, Tide and Opal -

Sorry. *Sad panda*

Nuggs

PS - does this mean you don't want to know about how my flow is going?

LoveWins88 · April 2010

Dear FI's neighbors,

We know you're getting some. Hell, you're like clockwork, most nights. But if you're going to make us listen to the two of you banging the ever-living sh*t out of each other, the least you could do is sound like you're enjoying yourselves. Not like she's being murdered. Sometimes, I don't know if I should call the cops or not. I would tell you as much in a sticky note on your door, but FI won't let me. I hope you move out before we get married.

Sincerely,

The girl in 7G

september's bride · April 2010

Dear Husband,

Please stop swearing at the computer. It can't hear you and doesn't care what you're saying. I, on the other hand, can hear you and do care. Please zip the lip.

Your irritated wife,
Kelly

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