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jt1317h · March 2012

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Just let it go. It's not too difficult to figure out where to walk and stand for the ceremony so they'll survive. Don't stress about it. Just focus on getting married!

ThankfulSnail · March 2012

Unless your wedding is incredibly complicated, the rehearsal really isn't that big of a deal. Removing people from your wedding party is a friendship-ending move. I would absolutely not sever a friendship over a wedding rehearsal.

Please remember that it is not the responsibility of the bridal party to do anything for your wedding except get the appropriate attire and show up on time. I know how important your wedding is to you, but this is YOUR wedding, not theirs, so of course it will come second place when the BM is getting an award the night of the rehearsal. I think you should let this slide.

LeiselEB · March 2012

I know that you want the wedding to go perfectly, but in most cases, the ceremonies are pretty straightforward and this couple should be able to figure it out, even if they skip the rehearsal.

I certainly wouldn't want to skip receiving an award to go to a rehearsal. I think even my closest friend's wedding would be second place to work or an award I'd be receiving. It's okay that they haven't helped with anything thus far - it's not their job to do so.

Let it go, and be sure to fill them in on any crucial information they might have missed.

jt1317h · March 2012

I understand them wanting to go to the award dinner, but it's just the fact that the best man made me organize the bachelor party (or my fiance wouldn't have had one) and that she the bridesmaid has shown up late and i mean HOURS late to Every event we have planned up till now. She told my MOH she would help with the bridal shower and then instead went out and bought a new vehical that day because that was more important to her. . . it's just a series of events like these that is makeing me feel really annoyed about them missing rehearsal. And our Rehearsal is at noon because there is a wedding that afternoon and we are not allowed on the property after 2pm. . . .

LeiselEB · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:3799d3ea-4a1a-4134-a676-39afefdc344e">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand them wanting to go to the award dinner, but it's just the fact that the best man made me organize the bachelor party (or my fiance wouldn't have had one) and that she the bridesmaid has shown up late and i mean HOURS late to Every event we have planned up till now. She told my MOH she would help with the bridal shower and then instead went out and bought a new vehical that day because that was more important to her. . . it's just a series of events like these that is makeing me feel really annoyed about them missing rehearsal. And our Rehearsal is at noon because there is a wedding that afternoon and we are not allowed on the property after 2pm. . . .
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You have a valid reason for having a nontypical rehearsal time - but that doesn't mean this couple's reason for not coming isn't valid. </div><div>
</div><div>It's not required for bridesmaids to come to every single thing you plan except for the wedding. It's also not required that groomsmen plan a bachelor party. These things might annoy you, and I get that, but it doesn't meant that you need to force this couple to skip work or a special work event under penalty of not being in the wedding anymore. Really, just let it go.</div><div>
</div>

Viczaesar · March 2012

What exactly do you think they should have done for the wedding up til now?

Having a rehearsal at noon is incredibly rude if you're expecting people to actually take a day off work to attend the rehearsal. You're out of line for being pissy about them not being able to be there.

Congratulations to the wife for getting an award the night before your wedding! Why are you pissy about that exactly?

Mark&Steph · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:36749501-e1cb-4fff-9225-5426b3878001">Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]The best man and his wife (a bridesmaid) have not done anything helpful for this weeding to date. Now they say they have to "work" the day of Rehearsal and that they had taken it off but are now working because they thought it was at night ( It has been planned for noon for 6months and they know that). Come to find out the Bridesmaid is getting some sort of award the night of rehearsal. . .Do you think we should tell them "They have to come to rehearsal or if they don't they are out of the wedding party?" <strong>I am just so tired of them putting out wedding secound place.</strong> What do I do?
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]
Why would *your* wedding take first priority over everything else in their lives? Sorry to repeat the standard lines, but no one will care more about your wedding than you (collective you = you + your FI). You have a BM who's getting an award at work the day of your noon-time rehearsal -- can you really imagine her telling her boss and colleagues that she's skipping it for a wedding rehearsal? Most weddings aren't that complicated. Please, just let it go. If you want to be over-the-top considerate, even congratulate your friend.

Viczaesar · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:3799d3ea-4a1a-4134-a676-39afefdc344e">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand them wanting to go to the award dinner, but it's just the fact that the best man made me organize the bachelor party (or my fiance wouldn't have had one) and that she the bridesmaid has shown up late and i mean HOURS late to Every event we have planned up till now. She told my MOH she would help with the bridal shower and then instead went out and bought a new vehical that day because that was more important to her. . . it's just a series of events like these that is makeing me feel really annoyed about them missing rehearsal. And our Rehearsal is at noon because there is a wedding that afternoon and we are not allowed on the property after 2pm. . . .
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]
How on earth did fhe MAKE you organize a bachelor party for your FI?

Dude, a new vehicle for yourself is always going to be more important than a party for someone else.

You're really not getting it. None of those are things that they were required to do. There is no pre-wedding event that the bridesmaid needed to show up for. Your FI's best man was not required to throw him a bachelor party. Your bridesmaid didn't owe anybody money, especially money that she needed to put towards a new car.

Having a rehearsal at noon on a work day is fine...until you get pissy that people can't show up for it. If you didn't guilt anybody into attending or threaten to kick them out of the wedding for not missing a day of work, having it at that time would be fine.

jt1317h · March 2012

Wow Viczaesar am I glad your not in my wedding! YOU just don't get it, I could go into detail on all the stress this maid has put on me but I won't because I didn't want to bore people with details. All I wanted was some opinions of what other brides would do. I didn't post to be belittled or told i'm Bridezilla! You have no idea what i'm going thro right with other problems with this wedding. I don't need a strange to tell me off thank you very much.

monkeysip · March 2012

OP,

You might be going through a lot with wedding planning (and it can be rough!) but that's NOT your best man or bridesmaid's fault. Unless they verbally abuse you or something, then there's no reason to be mad at them right now.

All they need to do is get the proper attire, show up on time, and smile for pictures. As long as they do that, you're golden. All the other stuff is OPTIONAL... nice, but not necessary.

If you're having a very difficult time wedding planning, then maybe you need to scale back or get your fiance to help more.

If you're having a difficult time with life in general, then that sucks, but it has nothing to do with your best man and bridesmaid.

So far, you have given us no evidence that your best man or bridesmaid are behaving badly. If you give us evidence of such, perhaps we will change our minds.

Viczaesar · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:96995bb0-bd6c-4eb5-b94d-882246375f33">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow Viczaesar am I glad your not in my wedding! YOU just don't get it, I could go into detail on all the stress this maid has put on me but I won't because I didn't want to bore people with details. All I wanted was some opinions of what other brides would do. I didn't post to be belittled or told i'm Bridezilla! You have no idea what i'm going thro right with other problems with this wedding. I don't need a strange to tell me off thank you very much.
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]
No, you don't get it. And I haven't seen anyone call you a bridezilla. All the perceived slights you've posted are not slights at all. They have done nothing wrong, and you getting your panties in a twist because they have to work - as usual - the day before your wedding is ridiculous.

Wedding party members have no responsibilities other than getting the selected attire and showing up to the wedding. None. Not showing up to shopping trips, not paying for parties, and not attending pre-wedding parties. If they choose to do those things, awesome! Thank them. If not, they haven't done a single thing wrong.

NOBODY will be as excited for your wedding as you and your FI are, and NOBODY but you and your FI will put said wedding "first." Expecting anything else is just unreasonable.

AdeleDazeem · March 2012

Lower your expectations for these two - it will save you a world of stress.

I think having the rehearsal at noon on a Friday is a little crazy. You don't have to rehearse at the ceremony site. I've been in several weddings and only rehearsed at the site once; we rehearsed in a hotel conference room for one because the site simply wasn't available. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed for you.

Your wedding takes priority for you but not everyone else. Just keep repeating that to yourself. The sooner you just accept that, the sooner your stress will be relieved.

baystateapple · March 2012

Ditto everything that Joy said. This couple hasn't done anything wrong; telling them they have to miss work to come to a rehearsal at noon or they're out of the wedding is a harsh move and you will end up looking bad, not them.

redheadfsu · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:96995bb0-bd6c-4eb5-b94d-882246375f33">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow Viczaesar am I glad your not in my wedding! YOU just don't get it, I could go into detail on all the stress this maid has put on me but I won't because I didn't want to bore people with details. <strong> All I wanted was some opinions of what other brides would do</strong>. I didn't post to be belittled or told i'm Bridezilla! You have no idea what i'm going thro right with other problems with this wedding. I don't need a strange to tell me off thank you very much.
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]

I would tell the wife congratulations on the award and that I completely understand.

You are over reacting. While we all want our friends to be super supportive for our wedding, life gets in the way. Just remember these people are your nearest and dearest and they will be there for your wedding. You really want to freak out on them (and then be seen as a bridezilla) and then never talk to them again? I don't think so. So, tell the wife congratulations on the award and you completely understand.

EsmeGrumble84 · March 2012

I think her point is that these people agreed to help, but then flaked out. You have a right to be put-out, but I wouldn't hold it against them. Some people are just flaky. It happens. And a rehearsal at noon on a Friday <em>is </em>a little weird, but you said you told them 6 months ago. Although, you did say she isn't getting award til the evening, so I don't see why they still couldn't make it. Regardless, the more you stress about this, the angrier it will make you, until this doesn't become fun anymore. And your wedding should be fun. So just stop stressing and let what happens happen.

Oh, someone mentioned that no one called her a bridezilla....

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:eae0a9d5-5eb0-4462-8e23-37c6d0aeab6e">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]A rehearsal at noon is unusual, so it's not unexpected that some members of the WP might have a work conflict. And if your bridesmaid is getting some sort of award that evening, clearly she has a significant work event at which she is being honored. Skipping a work event of that type just doesn't fly with employers, and it's usually considered a career-limiting move. Just let it go. <strong> Don't go all bridezilla</strong> and start laying down the law. BTW...why are you having your rehearsal at noon on a work day?
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

rebarobert2012 · March 2012

I understand that you are frustrated with their lack of participation, but I think that you should just let this go. Bridesmaids and groomsmen aren't obligated to help with wedding planning and they aren't obligated to come to pre-wedding parties. It sounds like they have good reasons for not being able to make it to the RD.

If you kick them out of the wedding party because they can't make it to the RD, it will only make you look bad. I'm not saying that to be harsh, but that is what people will think. Especially since I'm sure the best man and the bridesmaid have bought their attire for the wedding at this point.

Meghannsix · March 2012

I can totally understand that you're frustated if they offered to help and then flaked out, but it is what it is and not much you can do about it. Maybe they didn't realize how much assisstance you were expecting? Anyway, while it's a drag they'll miss the rehersal, as a good friend, I'd be more excited for a BM receiving an award. I missed my best friend's rehersal, and managed to walk down the aisle and stand in the right spot with no problem whatsoever. And they're still married ten years later. Don't sweat the small stuff, it will be fine!

Meegles4 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:96995bb0-bd6c-4eb5-b94d-882246375f33">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow Viczaesar am I glad your not in my wedding! YOU just don't get it, I could go into detail on all the stress this maid has put on me but I won't because I didn't want to bore people with details. <strong>All I wanted was some opinions of what other brides would do.</strong> I didn't post to be belittled or told i'm Bridezilla! You have no idea what i'm going thro right with other problems with this wedding. I don't need a strange to tell me off thank you very much.
Posted by jt1317h[/QUOTE]

You've gotten feedback on what other brides would do. They'd let it go. Sure, maybe they'd be bummed their friends couldn't make the rehearsal, but they'd get over it and understand that a noon rehearsal on a work day is going to cause some issues and some people won't be able to make it.

As for all the other stuff. PPs are right that WP members (men AND women) aren't required to do anything other than show up. I have a couple BMs I haven't even SEEN the entire time I've been engaged, because they live elsewhere. I'll see them the day before and the day of and that's about it.

And I know you're not seeking advice on this one, but planning your FI's b-party is kinda...weird.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Can you change the date of the rehersal? One of my bm flower girl fiance's sister niece could not make Thursday because fg has a mandatory practice for a play she is in the day after our wedding. We switched it to Wednesday night instead so that they could make it. There is nothing that states you HAVE to have the rehersal the day before. I also made ours for 6:30pm to make sure everyone can work a full day not have to lose any pay. Just an option that could possibly solve your problem ...

rlavach · March 2012

OP, I can understand your frustration, but like the PP have said, there is nothing you can do. I'm getting married on April 21st also, so I understand that this is crunch time and everything is important. Yeah, it stinks that they can't or don't want to make it, but don't let that get you down. Someone else there can tell them where to go. If you have a DOC, they'll instruct them for the day-of.

Like some have said, you don't even need a rehearsal. The only reason I'm having one is because none of my BP members have been in a wedding in the US before & many don't speak English. So the things that are obvious to us, will not be to them.

Don't stress about it. We have a lot of other, more important things to worry about.

sparent2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:3e8cffb3-99d5-4db7-8bb2-41ff9b39251b">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]I think her point is that these people agreed to help, but then flaked out. You have a right to be put-out, but I wouldn't hold it against them. Some people are just flaky. It happens. And a rehearsal at noon on a Friday is a little weird, but you said you told them 6 months ago. Although, you did say she isn't getting award til the evening, so I don't see why they still couldn't make it. Regardless, the more you stress about this, the angrier it will make you, until this doesn't become fun anymore. And your wedding should be fun. So just stop stressing and let what happens happen. Oh, someone mentioned that no one called her a bridezilla.... In Response to Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal :
Posted by EsmeGrumble84[/QUOTE]

Lucy didn't call her a bridezilla. She told her not to go all bridezilla. Big difference.

OP your wedding doens't trump their lives. Get over it- seriously. If you want to end a friednship by all means kick them out. Go for it. But you end up looking like a biitch for doing it.

Like joy said lower your expectations of them. It is not their job to come to every even you plan. People have shiit to do and while I love my friends etc if I need to work and if I needed to miss something for their wedding b/c I am working they would understand, b/c it is my <strong>job. </strong>

I would tell her congratulations for recieving an award and move on. Is there something super special about your ceremony that they won't be able to figure out if they are not there.

specialk84 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:94336141-f44e-4242-b7f9-50599f89311f">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal : How on earth did fhe MAKE you organize a bachelor party for your FI? Dude, a new vehicle for yourself is always going to be more important than a party for someone else. You're really not getting it. None of those are things that they were required to do. There is no pre-wedding event that the bridesmaid needed to show up for. Your FI's best man was not required to throw him a bachelor party. Your bridesmaid didn't owe anybody money, especially money that she needed to put towards a new car. Having a rehearsal at noon on a work day is fine...until you get pissy that people can't show up for it. If you didn't guilt anybody into attending or threaten to kick them out of the wedding for not missing a day of work, having it at that time would be fine.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't know if I've mentioned this lately, but I think you're pretty awesome.

</div>

Kimmyznc · March 2012

Eh. I have been to two different rehearsals where a BM or GM could not make it. It doesn't make a difference... my BIL had my FI stand in for the missing GM even though he's not really in it and the other one they just had the girl walk down & pretend she was locked arms with someone. I think it will be fine

NOLAbridealmost · March 2012

Andplusalso, it makes NO difference how much notice I was given---there is STILL no way I'd use a vacation day to miss work for a rehearsal. An idiot can figure out how to walk down an aisle, stand still for a while, and walk back down ghat same aisle in reverse order.

biz717 · March 2012

A friend of mine's future husband couldn't come to their rehearsal because he was in the state trooper academy... So it could be worse!

OliveOilsMom · March 2012

My sister (MOH) and another BM couldn't make it to my rehearsal. The preist had some extra family members present fill in for them during the rehearsal. The next day, my sister knew how to walk in a straight line and then stand up behind me during our vows. We also had our rehearsal on a Wednesday because the church was booked Thursday night. OP, there is no need to have them there. So just try to calm down about all this!

myname1234 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:102a7994-3e12-4f41-9da5-1b0c3a899593">Re:Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]Can you change the date of the rehersal? One of my bm flower girl fiance's sister niece could not make Thursday because fg has a mandatory practice for a play she is in the day after our wedding. We switched it to Wednesday night instead so that they could make it. There <strong>is nothing that states you HAVE to have the rehersal the day before</strong>. I also made ours for 6:30pm to make sure everyone can work a full day not have to lose any pay. Just an option that could possibly solve your problem ...
Posted by Qzees[/QUOTE]

This! Our rehearsal is the morning of. The venue was booked on Friday night, so we rolled with it.

Viczaesar · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:3e8cffb3-99d5-4db7-8bb2-41ff9b39251b">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]I think her point is that these people agreed to help, but then flaked out. You have a right to be put-out, but I wouldn't hold it against them. Some people are just flaky. It happens. And a rehearsal at noon on a Friday is a little weird, but you said you told them 6 months ago. Although, you did say she isn't getting award til the evening, so I don't see why they still couldn't make it. Regardless, the more you stress about this, the angrier it will make you, until this doesn't become fun anymore. And your wedding should be fun. So just stop stressing and let what happens happen. Oh, someone mentioned that no one called her a bridezilla.... In Response to Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal :
Posted by EsmeGrumble84[/QUOTE]
My exact point. "Don't go all bridezilla" isn't calling someone a bridezilla, it's warning them that if they do _________________ they will be acting like a bridezilla.

Viczaesar · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-and-bridesmaid-dont-want-to-come-to-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499912a8-10af-469e-89e2-a405ab308852Post:f1999027-6452-43b4-a225-5b1d81bb7330">Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man and Bridesmaid don't want to come to Rehearsal : I don't know if I've mentioned this lately, but I think you're pretty awesome.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
Aww, shucks. :)

jt1317h · March 2012

First of all, am I happy that my bridesmaid is receiving an award? Yes. Under other circumstances I might not even care that they can’t attend the rehearsal dinner. If it was a unique opportunity to receive the award I would definitely accept them excusing themselves from it. But the opportunity isn’t unique, the award ceremony is a yearly one. Seeing one of your friends get married doesn’t happen that often. Also, the award ceremony is in the evening. Why does that mean they that can’t show up to a rehearsal dinner at noon (My bridesmaid still hasn’t returned my call so I can ask her that)? That said, I might not even mind them missing the rehearsal if they’d put some kind of effort into being a part of the wedding party.

As far as her (and the best man) not having any responsibilities I’m not sure where you’re coming from. Read the Knot’s description of the best man duties: http://wedding.theknot.com/groom-groomsmen/groomsmen-guide/articles/best-man-duties-in-detail.aspx. Read the duties for the bridesmaids: http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx. Other websites cite at least similar basic duties. I’m not saying I expected them to spend a ton of money or attend every single event. But when you come up with a new excuse for every event, most anyone would start to get the idea that you aren’t committed to being in the wedding at all. And I don’t think being asked to help out with one bridal shower (agreeing to help when asked) and then ducking out to buy a new vehicle and showing up hours after you were asked to be there shows commitment. Worse, she started chatting with me when she did arrive and only helped with one or two minor things. My Maid of Honor put together pretty much the whole party by herself (with my help).

I don’t expect my wedding to be anyone’s first priority but mine. But I do expect my friends to at least act like they care that it matters to me. If showing up was the only requirement for the bridal party, what makes them any different than guests who go out, buy their own attire and shoes, and show up?

I don’t make friends with someone based on their presence or I’d have a lot of shallow friendships for the sake of calling them friendships. The reason a friend’s presence is all that matters, isn’t just the fact of their presence. It’s what their presence brings to the event. If you can’t offer more than just your presence, you’re not offering much as a friend.

If you got through your wedding stress free, congratulations. The end line is, I’m not even sure if I can trust the bridesmaid to show up (on time) to the event itself—your most basic requirement for a bridesmaid.

Maybe I have high expectations of people. But I was raised to be considerate of others (to be aware of how what I do affects others) and to honor my commitments. After all, the last one (honoring my commitments) is the very basis of marriage.

P.S.
Thank you to those who made helpful suggestions and at least gave me the benefit of the doubt.

.

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