Dance reception invitation wording

Goodysgirl · April 2010

Does anyone have a sample of wording for a dance reception only? Well dance and open bar , but no dinner. Please help! Thanks!

baystateapple · April 2010

Cocktail Reception and Dancing to follow? What time is your reception starting?

danieliza1127 · April 2010

Cocktail Reception to follow

Are you serving any food at all? Appetizers even? What time is your reception?

Goodysgirl · April 2010

It's not for me, it's for my sister. I believe they're doing this after dinner. They are way over capacity and a bit over budget, so they wanted to cut the guest list and invite those people to the dance and open bar part which will begin around 8 or 8:30.

danieliza1127 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dance-reception-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:32af8fbf-753b-4d62-82c6-a85ac54ea2a2Post:e90a8a01-96ec-40a3-ad42-5d69f72286bd">Re: Dance reception invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not for me, it's for my sister. I believe they're doing this after dinner. They are way over capacity and a bit over budget, so they wanted to cut the guest list and invite those people to the dance and open bar part which will begin around 8 or 8:30.
Posted by Goodysgirl[/QUOTE]

Oh...well in that case, please let her know that is very rude and tacky to do. The reception is one event, not two separate event. People do get hurt and offended to only be invited to half of the reception. They know this means they are second best, not good enough to eat with you but good enough to come party with you. Also, will she just have empty tables set up waiting for them, or will they be expected to stand the whole night? What if dinner runs late and they arrive while people are still eating dinner?

Pirata13 · April 2010

Yeah they need to just trim their guest list period to who they can afford to have for the ceremony and full reception. No "some of you can come for dinner, but the rest can come for dancing."

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dance-reception-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:32af8fbf-753b-4d62-82c6-a85ac54ea2a2Post:e90a8a01-96ec-40a3-ad42-5d69f72286bd">Re: Dance reception invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not for me, it's for my sister. I believe they're doing this after dinner. They are way over capacity and a bit over budget, so they wanted to cut the guest list and invite those people to the dance and open bar part which will begin around 8 or 8:30.
Posted by Goodysgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>This is incredibly rude. If she can't afford to invite them to the dinner, she can't afford to invite them. </div><div>
</div><div>Basically, she'd be saying "You're not important enough for the real thing, but you can come dance and bring me a gift later if you want." There's no nice way to do this. </div>

duckie1905 · April 2010

What your sister wants to do is rude. You should tell her so.

pebblez_2002 · September 2010

I have a question - you guys are saying this is so rude and giving no advice. I want to know what you all did to make this work for you. I am in the same dilema. I have a guest list already of 300 people and another 100 are being invited to the dance. Those 300 people are invited to the church that only holds 220 so we are banking on the idea that they won't make the ceremony but will make the dinner.

I have NEVER been offended when I have been invited to just a dance. I think you have to look at the situations. Did you guys have a 400 count wedding? If not, I don't think you have any right to say anything. And did you guys pay for your WHOLE wedding. We are older in life and have lots of high school, college, and work friends. This doesn't include family.

I just thing it's insane that you can sit and say how rude this is. Sometimes you don't have other options. And to knock a bride who is already stressed out, I am sure you have already been in the situation and know what it's like to be stressed out.

And you also talk about just wanting them to bring a gift, that is not anyone's intention. I would care less if we got no presents, besides being able to celebrate your day with this person is all that matters. And look on the flip side. What about those guests who come to the wedding just for the dinner and leave right away. That is rude too. So it goes both ways.

Please be courteous of how you are talking to people - how about rather than bashing give them other advice to try to help out. Just cutting the list doesn't always work because they will be MORE offended by not getting invited then just getting invited to the dance.

jess9802 · September 2010

There are many people I'd like to invite to my wedding and reception. I'd love to be able to feed them an elegant meal served by white-gloved waiters. But I can't afford to. So I have narrowed my guest list to the point where I can properly host *EVERYONE* who will receive an invitation to the entire affair, and I'm hosting it at a time of day when a full meal won't be expected. You may not be offended to be on the B-guest list, but many people would be. And just because many people are clueless about what constitutes proper etiquette doesn't mean it's acceptable for a hostess to be rude.

sammyp33 · June 2012

Wow many of you people are extremely annoying. It's her wedding let her do what she wants. She didn't ask you for YOUR opinion she asked you how to word her invitation accordingly. If you don't like it then don't post. And you know what? When you have a very large family and a lot of family and friends it is damn expensive to feed all of them. And at $30 a plate (which is a lot of venues now) you just can't feed them all. I'm inviting people only to the dance part becuase I have A LOT of friends and family, our guest list is at 270 right now. But at the same time I always wanted a very small intimate wedding. So we are only having family and very close friends to our ceremony and dinner. Then a huge party afterwards to celebrate with everyone. It's my decision to have an intimate wedding, it's MY wedding not yours, if you're offended get over it. Honestly I don't have any concerns with this because I'm not friends with people who are selfish and they know me well enough to know that I am not inviting them just for a gift. Okay anyways sorry for the rant, I just keep coming across these posts when I myself am trying to find reception only wording and it drives me crazy!! Here's what I'm doing:
(Brides Name)
&
(Grooms Name)
together with their parents invite you
to help them celebrate their marriage at
an evening reception on Friday, the seventh
of September, two thousand twelve at seven
thirty in the evening for dancing, drinks, and a good time
at the
(Event Location & Address)

This is what I have right now anyways. May still tweek it slightly? But may help you find a place to start!

jemmini6 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dance-reception-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:32af8fbf-753b-4d62-82c6-a85ac54ea2a2Post:473beee0-6798-49a7-ba94-352dc7129618">Re: Dance reception invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow many of you people are extremely annoying. It's her wedding let her do what she wants. <strong>She didn't ask you for YOUR opinion she asked you how to word her invitation accordingly</strong>. If you don't like it then don't post. And you know what? When you have a very large family and a lot of family and friends it is damn expensive to feed all of them. And at $30 a plate (which is a lot of venues now) you just can't feed them all. I'm inviting people only to the dance part becuase I have A LOT of friends and family, our guest list is at 270 right now. But at the same time I always wanted a very small intimate wedding. So we are only having family and very close friends to our ceremony and dinner. Then a huge party afterwards to celebrate with everyone. It's my decision to have an intimate wedding, it's MY wedding not yours, if you're offended get over it. Honestly I don't have any concerns with this because I'm not friends with people who are selfish and they know me well enough to know that I am not inviting them just for a gift. Okay anyways sorry for the rant, I just keep coming across these posts when I myself am trying to find reception only wording and it drives me crazy!! Here's what I'm doing: (Brides Name) & (Grooms Name) together with their parents invite you to help them celebrate their marriage at an evening reception on Friday, the seventh of September, two thousand twelve at seven thirty in the evening for dancing, drinks, and a good time at the (Event Location & Address) This is what I have right now anyways. May still tweek it slightly? But may help you find a place to start!
Posted by sammyp33[/QUOTE]

THERE IS NO WAY TO WORD AN INVITATION FOR DOING SOMETHING THIS RUDE.

This is basically a big "Fvck You" to the guests she's inviting for just dancing. It's saying "hey, I kind of like you, but you weren't important enough to make the cut for dinner, so come to my ceremony, then fvck off for about an hour and half and find your own damn food, then come back and pretend you are happy that I was rude to you...and oh yeah, don't forget to leave me a present, because that's the only reason I invited you in the first place."

If she wants to be a bad host and have people talk about her behind her back for being a rude bridezilla, then by all means, she's free to follow your advice....

However, on TK, we actually care that people have good weddings, that follow etiquette, and will give them happy memories for a lifetime. What the OP's sister is planning to do is one of the biggest etiquette faux pas, so we would be doing her a disservice if we validated this idea.

There are plenty of ways to properly host your guests on a budget that doesn't involve being rude. All of us here that are already married managed to do it, all of us here that are still planning our weddings are managing to do it...so there's no excuse other than blatant disregard for your guests to do this.

If the OP's sister would like to change her plans and find out a better way to host everyone, or would like advice on how to cut her guest list, then we'd be more than willing to offer advice as we've all been there already. Yet again though, we will not validate this bad idea, so if she'd still like advice on how to word this rude invitation, I suggest weddingbee...they are all kinds of rude over there (and believe me, just because they validate you doesn't mean they are doing you any favors. What's worse, having people tell you you are making a mistake before you do it, or people coddling you into doing it anyways and then offending all your family and friends?)

AB and DT · June 2013

How did you go from 514 to 150? I am getting married in 11 days and we only wanted 150 people but our list quickly grew to 270! I have managed to get it down to about 200, but my fiance asked me last night if we could do dance cards. I personally never heard of them until we started planning our wedding, but he has people at work that know we started over capacity for our venue asking him for a dance card.
He is really wants to do this but I can't find any good wording for them!

StageManager14 said:

I have a question - you guys are saying this is so rude and giving no advice. I want to know what you all did to make this work for you. I am in the same dilema. I have a guest list already of 300 people and another 100 are being invited to the dance. Those 300 people are invited to the church that only holds 220 so we are banking on the idea that they won't make the ceremony but will make the dinner.

We made the situation work by being mature adults who understood we couldn't invite absolutely everyone we knew and cutting the guestlist down to just those people we absolutely could not imagine our day without.

And when that guest list still turned out to be rather large for our budget, we MOVED THE RECEPTION TIME to a non-meal time , gave up a great venue for a much less pretty one, and cut all decor to the very very bare minimum so that we could afford to feed all of our guests finger foods and cake instead

I have NEVER been offended when I have been invited to just a dance. I think you have to look at the situations. Did you guys have a 400 count wedding? If not, I don't think you have any right to say anything. And did you guys pay for your WHOLE wedding. We are older in life and have lots of high school, college, and work friends. This doesn't include family.

Um, no we didn't have a 400+ wedding, because we knew we couldn't afford it. Neither can you apparently, nor can the sister of the OP. That's exactly why we have the "right" to say something.

And exactly how much "older in life" are you? DH was 32 when we got married, had spent 7 years in college, and we still lives in the area that he grew up in and that his entire extended family all still lives in.. So, yeah, I'd say he likely had as many or more friends than you guys do. Our first list, the "all the people we'd love to have with us that day" was 514 people. And that was not including any kids outside of nieces and nephews. We got the list down to 150.

AB and DT · June 2013

Thanks!! This will help me come up with something for my fiance to give his co-workers!!

I never heard of dance cards until my future mother-in-law wanted to know who was being invited to the whole thing and who was being invited to just the dance. I have always been invited to the entire thing, but would not be upset if I was invited to only the dance especially since I now know how expensive weddings can be!

sammyp33 said:

Wow many of you people are extremely annoying. It's her wedding let her do what she wants. She didn't ask you for YOUR opinion she asked you how to word her invitation accordingly. If you don't like it then don't post. And you know what? When you have a very large family and a lot of family and friends it is damn expensive to feed all of them. And at $30 a plate (which is a lot of venues now) you just can't feed them all. I'm inviting people only to the dance part becuase I have A LOT of friends and family, our guest list is at 270 right now. But at the same time I always wanted a very small intimate wedding. So we are only having family and very close friends to our ceremony and dinner. Then a huge party afterwards to celebrate with everyone. It's my decision to have an intimate wedding, it's MY wedding not yours, if you're offended get over it. Honestly I don't have any concerns with this because I'm not friends with people who are selfish and they know me well enough to know that I am not inviting them just for a gift. Okay anyways sorry for the rant, I just keep coming across these posts when I myself am trying to find reception only wording and it drives me crazy!! Here's what I'm doing:
(Brides Name)
&
(Grooms Name)
together with their parents invite you
to help them celebrate their marriage at
an evening reception on Friday, the seventh
of September, two thousand twelve at seven
thirty in the evening for dancing, drinks, and a good time
at the
(Event Location & Address)

This is what I have right now anyways. May still tweek it slightly? But may help you find a place to start!

manateehugger · June 2013

AB and DT said:

Thanks!! This will help me come up with something for my fiance to give his co-workers!!

I never heard of dance cards until my future mother-in-law wanted to know who was being invited to the whole thing and who was being invited to just the dance. I have always been invited to the entire thing, but would not be upset if I was invited to only the dance especially since I now know how expensive weddings can be!

sammyp33 said:

Wow many of you people are extremely annoying. It's her wedding let her do what she wants. She didn't ask you for YOUR opinion she asked you how to word her invitation accordingly. If you don't like it then don't post. And you know what? When you have a very large family and a lot of family and friends it is damn expensive to feed all of them. And at $30 a plate (which is a lot of venues now) you just can't feed them all. I'm inviting people only to the dance part becuase I have A LOT of friends and family, our guest list is at 270 right now. But at the same time I always wanted a very small intimate wedding. So we are only having family and very close friends to our ceremony and dinner. Then a huge party afterwards to celebrate with everyone. It's my decision to have an intimate wedding, it's MY wedding not yours, if you're offended get over it. Honestly I don't have any concerns with this because I'm not friends with people who are selfish and they know me well enough to know that I am not inviting them just for a gift. Okay anyways sorry for the rant, I just keep coming across these posts when I myself am trying to find reception only wording and it drives me crazy!! Here's what I'm doing:
(Brides Name)
&
(Grooms Name)
together with their parents invite you
to help them celebrate their marriage at
an evening reception on Friday, the seventh
of September, two thousand twelve at seven
thirty in the evening for dancing, drinks, and a good time
at the
(Event Location & Address)

This is what I have right now anyways. May still tweek it slightly? But may help you find a place to start!

AB and DT

1. This thread is three years old.

2. Inviting people only to the dance is incredibly offensive. The fact that weddings are so expensive is the exact reason I would be offended to be invited to the dance only. It's like saying "You're good enough to celebrate and bring me a present, but you're not good enough to attend anything important or for me to spend money on you." Rude.

You also realize that most caterers/venues will still charge you for alcohol for these guests, yes?

QueerFemme · June 2013

How's this for wording:

Rude bride

and

Rude groom

Invite you to share

in their special day

but not really

we don't want to feed you

or have you come to the ceremony

but, come and dance anyway

and bring us a gift.

Tada!

MyNameIsNot · June 2013

I can't believe it's been three years and someone still would even consider doing something like this.

Do these brides see a wedding as an opportunity to slap people in the face? WTF is wrong with people?

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

It all stems from confusion over the purpose of the reception. So many brides think they're doing people a favor by "letting" the come to their wedding/reception/dance only.

Also, WTF is a dance card? That sounds awful. It's like a ticket instead of an invitation?

AB and DT · June 2013

Yes I do realize that we still have to pay for the alcohol. Like I said I have never heard of dance cards now and we weren't even really considering doing them until people asked if we were.

I would assume that they would NOT be offended by this if they are asking if we are doing dance cards. I am not asking anyone to buy me a present, I don't care about monetary things.

They asked for them and I think it would be rude not to give them one!!

PDKH said:

AB and DT said:

Thanks!! This will help me come up with something for my fiance to give his co-workers!!

I never heard of dance cards until my future mother-in-law wanted to know who was being invited to the whole thing and who was being invited to just the dance. I have always been invited to the entire thing, but would not be upset if I was invited to only the dance especially since I now know how expensive weddings can be!

sammyp33 said:

Wow many of you people are extremely annoying. It's her wedding let her do what she wants. She didn't ask you for YOUR opinion she asked you how to word her invitation accordingly. If you don't like it then don't post. And you know what? When you have a very large family and a lot of family and friends it is damn expensive to feed all of them. And at $30 a plate (which is a lot of venues now) you just can't feed them all. I'm inviting people only to the dance part becuase I have A LOT of friends and family, our guest list is at 270 right now. But at the same time I always wanted a very small intimate wedding. So we are only having family and very close friends to our ceremony and dinner. Then a huge party afterwards to celebrate with everyone. It's my decision to have an intimate wedding, it's MY wedding not yours, if you're offended get over it. Honestly I don't have any concerns with this because I'm not friends with people who are selfish and they know me well enough to know that I am not inviting them just for a gift. Okay anyways sorry for the rant, I just keep coming across these posts when I myself am trying to find reception only wording and it drives me crazy!! Here's what I'm doing:
(Brides Name)
&
(Grooms Name)
together with their parents invite you
to help them celebrate their marriage at
an evening reception on Friday, the seventh
of September, two thousand twelve at seven
thirty in the evening for dancing, drinks, and a good time
at the
(Event Location & Address)

This is what I have right now anyways. May still tweek it slightly? But may help you find a place to start!

AB and DT

1. This thread is three years old.

2. Inviting people only to the dance is incredibly offensive. The fact that weddings are so expensive is the exact reason I would be offended to be invited to the dance only. It's like saying "You're good enough to celebrate and bring me a present, but you're not good enough to attend anything important or for me to spend money on you." Rude.

You also realize that most caterers/venues will still charge you for alcohol for these guests, yes?

AB and DT · June 2013

I didn't realize how old this forum was... my wedding is in 12 days and I wasn't considering "dance cards", I actually had never heard of them until my future mother-in-law asked me about it.

My fiance has also had people ask him if we are doing dance cards because they would like to come celebrate with us even though we are at our max for the dinner.

It may sound bad that we are at our max for dinner but not the dance, but that's only because a lot of his family farms so they will leave shortly after dinner to do chores.

I have actually planned my wedding around our guests not us... We are having an earlier dinner so the farmers can leave right away to get their chores done.

MyNameIsNot said:

I can't believe it's been three years and someone still would even consider doing something like this.

Do these brides see a wedding as an opportunity to slap people in the face? WTF is wrong with people?

AB and DT · June 2013

That makes sense!

RetreadBride said:

When I was growing up, dance cards were given to the single ladies. They planned which gentleman got which dance - like at a cotillion.

This was for very formal dances, such as debutante balls or coming-out parties.

AB and DT · June 2013

I don't know why people have to be so negative all of the time. People don't always do things the same as others.

Some people have friends and family that are more understanding then others, I know mine and my fiances are. I guess it's different when one side comes from a small town.

Like I said before, I never heard of dance cards or inviting guests to just the dance until I started sending out invitations. My future mother-in-law wanted to know which people were invited to the whole entire thing or just the dance. I told her that I had invited everyone on the list my fiance and I made and the list she gave me to the entire event.

I had no intention to invite people to just the dance because that seemed weird to me as I never have heard of it before. However, some of my fiance's co-workers who know that we are at capacity for the dinner portion asked if he was doing dance cards because they would still like to come to that portion and celebrate with us.

I know that we will still have to pay for their drinks, that is not an issue for us and being able to pay for the dinner is not an issue for us either. Our issue came down to the space, we were told in our contract that the max that we could have was 250 guests. However, there isn't enough room to set-up enough tables for that many guests and have a buffet set-up as well.

I'm not saying that one person is better than another, these people that would be getting the dance cards asked for them.

Viczaesar · June 2013

ARGH.

Simply Fated · June 2013

Tiering your friends and family is terrible. While you might not find it offensive, you should. No one is that eager to celebrate your wedding with you that they're going to happily let you rank them by order of importance.
Just because people understand why you're doing something the way you are, doesn't mean they like it. They're just going along with it because it's easier than trying to explain to you why what you're doing is wrong. They also might be used to it and not know any better. That still doesn't make what you're doing right.

I first heard of dance cards when I read Little Women. This tradition started during a time when women weren't supposed to ask men to dance. Are your fiance's co-workers thinking along these lines....?

You're making excuses as to why you're doing what you're doing. Look, just own your choices. None of this, "some of my fiance's co-workers...asked..." and "My future mother-in-law wanted to know..." YOU made these choices. Don't blame others for the choices you made.

AB and DT · June 2013

I did not make the choice... I was going to leave my guest list the way it was and have the people invited attend all portions.

I really don't care what people that don't even know me think about me. His co-workers asked if they could attend the dance and he asked me if I would make something up for him.

His mom asked about dance only guests because that is how their family did it in the past.

Xstatic3333 · June 2013

My FMIL has had some against-etiquette ideas too. We just tell her (it should be FI doing this communication but sometimes she pins me down) "thanks for your idea! That sounds lovely but we've decided that ______ is best for us." Then "bean dip" (change topic and refuse to address it further).

As for the co-workers, just have FI tell them he's sorry but you couldn't invite everyone you would have liked.

AB and DT · June 2013

Thanks for the advice! My fiance has gotten a few upset phone calls from his mom, first the fact that I did not ask his only sister to be one of my bridesmaids and then because in her opinion we sent out our invitations too early!!
I have tried to tell him about how it can come off as being rude if we send out dance cards, but he doesn't seem to care!!

Xstatic3333 said:

My FMIL has had some against-etiquette ideas too. We just tell her (it should be FI doing this communication but sometimes she pins me down) "thanks for your idea! That sounds lovely but we've decided that ______ is best for us." Then "bean dip" (change topic and refuse to address it further). As for the co-workers, just have FI tell them he's sorry but you couldn't invite everyone you would have liked.

Caroline E Johnson · July 2013

I absolutely don't think it's rude. I grew up in a small community and haven't lived there in 15 years. But we are getting married there. My hubby to be has a huge family, and that's just aunts and uncles. I'm inviting 220 people, which includes a lot from home, BUT there are a lot out home that I would love to come celebrate into the late night hours with us. I logged on here to get an example of an invite and saw your negative reactions. Ill go somewhere else now instead for references.

libby2483 · July 2013

Caroline E Johnson said:

I absolutely don't think it's rude. I grew up in a small community and haven't lived there in 15 years. But we are getting married there. My hubby to be has a huge family, and that's just aunts and uncles. I'm inviting 220 people, which includes a lot from home, BUT there are a lot out home that I would love to come celebrate into the late night hours with us. I logged on here to get an example of an invite and saw your negative reactions. Ill go somewhere else now instead for references.

Wedding Bee might be more your style. And I would recommend starting a new account that isn't your full name.

crunchymamaof2 · July 2013

AB and DT said:

I did not make the choice... I was going to leave my guest list the way it was and have the people invited attend all portions.

I really don't care what people that don't even know me think about me. His co-workers asked if they could attend the dance and he asked me if I would make something up for him.

His mom asked about dance only guests because that is how their family did it in the past.

It most certainly is your choice! You received terrible advice and you chose to follow it. Everyone here has given you excellent advice and you've ignored it. I truly don't understand why people wouldn't want to treat their guests properly when they learn better. I don't care if it's how it used to be done or if its common in an area, it's still treating your guests like shit.

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

I don't think this is against TOS if I don't name names. But you know who you are... Actually you probably don't because you're probably getting your ass kissed at WB.

Dance reception invitation wording

Re: Dance reception invitation wording

Choose Another Board

Search Boards