FI and I just got engaged last week! We are very excited and we just announced our engagement, officially, to our families. Everyone is happy and looking forward to our wedding. We've set our date for June 8th of next year.
Today my FI tells me that his Mother asked him how many attendants we were going to have. He told her we were planning on one each (MOH and Best Man). Then he tells me that, in a separate conversation, his Father told him that his Mother told his Sister about our attendants and that now his Sister's and her husband's feelings are hurt that we are not including them in the wedding party.
WTF???
I don't understand what is happening. I adore his Sister, she and I get along great. She has never once mentioned any desire or inclination to be a Bridsmaid at all. And she's been in on our secret engagement (a couple months prior to us officially announcing it) too. Maybe I don't understand because I'm an only child... but I didn't think that siblings were required for all bridal party situations. I was going to ask her later (IT'S LITERALLY BEEN 4 DAYS SINCE WE GOT ENGAGED!) to have her children (son and daughter) to be our Flower Girl and Ring Bearer... why isn't that enough?
We're having a small wedding and they will not be overlooked in my eyes... Am planning to order them both flowers to wear and they will of course be in all the family pictures with us. What am I missing? I just don't get it.
FI says she wants to be more than a spectator. That she wants to be part of the ceremony. At first I didn't believe this about her because she's never behaved in such a presumptuious way. This feels set up... like their Mother is orchestrating this. I mean, it's only been 4 days... why are we worried about the number of attendants already??
I haven't had a chance to talk her myself, and am eager to! She didn't answer the phone when I called, but I'm not going to jump to any conclusions until I talk to her. I just want to know why she would feel this way.
Am I really that stupid that I don't see this? Am I expected to have her as my Bridesmaid simply because she's my FI's Sister? Is it that aweful that, even though I do adore her too, I just want to have my best friend (whom I've known since birth) be my only attendant?
I feel terrible. And confused.
FI says not to worry about it and everything will be fine. But I can't! I'm worried already! I don't want to hurt her feelings or anyones. But I also don't want to change this part of my wedding either. Am I wrong?