Dollar Dance Alternative

sgargala1 · April 2010

Hi Everyone,
My fiance and I don't want to do the traditional dollar dance, because we think it just takes too long. We went to rival colleges, and really want to play that up with a sort of "dueling pianos" type thing where people will give money to hear their college fight song. We are still looking for ideas for how to collect the money.
1)give to D.J. and have him keep track of which college has the most, and therefore would be the one played
2)have boxes or envelopes set up somewhere where people can put the cash, and have a groomsman count just before we play the song

I'm stuck, any thoughts??

megk8oz · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:05b74dea-997f-4e42-ba11-2c3b0835d680">Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone, My fiance and I don't want to do the traditional dollar dance, because we think it just takes too long. We went to rival colleges, and really want to play that up with a sort of "dueling pianos" type thing where people will give money to hear their college fight song. We are still looking for ideas for how to collect the money. 1)give to D.J. and have him keep track of which college has the most, and therefore would be the one played 2)have boxes or envelopes set up somewhere where people can put the cash, and have a groomsman count just before we play the song I'm stuck,<strong> any thoughts??</strong>
Posted by sgargala1@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

Don't do this. It's lame. And pretty damn rude.

stina93446 · April 2010

You SHOULDN'T ask for money at your wedding. It's tacky, whether it be a money tree, money dance, or money fight song. Just say no.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

The wedding presents should be enough. It's terribly rude to fish for more money from your guests.

lalap69 · April 2010

Your idea is lame and so are you.

This is rude and gross.

stina93446 · April 2010

If you want the dueling fight songs, have the songs, but you can't collect money without looking like you're grabby.

tidetravel · April 2010

IF you do the dollar dance, it should be because it is tradition, not because you are trying to collect cash. (and I seriously question how many people ACTUALLY have them as tradition) IF you choose not to do it, you don't get to substitute something else. This goes double if you're looking for a substitute because doing it the traditional way takes too long.

suz62984 · April 2010

Sorry but I agree with PPs. I could see it going terribly wrong when nothing but fighting songs are playing at your wedding too. I would skip the dollar stuff all together.

Also, you might want to change your TK screen name. I found your myspace and facebook page. I could tell you a lot about what I found...see how creepy that can get Steph?

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

Don't do it. Besides, I'd find that really lame at a wedding and boring.

FutureMrsFraser · April 2010

I think the dollar dances at weddings are rude and tacky. Your guests are already bringing gifts, no need to ask for more money.

If you want to do the dueling fight songs, do it, but just take votes, don't make people pay.

Catwoman708 · April 2010

"The ONLY thing the dollar dance has going for it is that certain cultures consider it a highly regarded tradition. Getting rid of the tradition part and keeping the greedy money-grubbing part isn't cute or original. It's just plain rude and selfish. "

This, exactly. The alternative to having a dollar dance is NOT having a dollar dance and having some class.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

Why don't you just have your ushers take up a collection at the ceremony.

c1230 · April 2010

My fiance and I are doing a dollar dance ONLY with the caveat that all money that we get, we will match, and then donate to one of our local animal shelters. We are both animal lovers and both of our dogs are rescues, and we thought it would be a good way for us to give back. We're having the DJ announcing beforehand that all money raised will be matched by us and then donated so that all of our guests are aware that we're not "fishing" for extra cash.

I've seen this done one other time with fairly good results. If you think it's lame, go have a drink at the bar until it's done.

quotequeen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:3107e866-132b-4a75-9a0b-ce571f899954">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you just have your ushers take up a collection at the ceremony.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

This is such a great idea! My guests are used to giving money for the collection at church, so they won't think twice when there's a hat passed around at my non-church ceremony! Or they might think it's for the minister's church... but I get to keep the money!!

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif" border="0" alt="Sealed" title="Sealed" />

mrb5000 · April 2010

I think TK boards are the only places I've ever heard donating money to charity called "rude." Asking for money for yourselves, yeah, I can see how that could be rude. But taking OPTIONAL donationgs for a good cause? Definitely not rude. If people don't want to give money, they don't have to. That's what optional means.

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:31595658-28c7-42f1-ae21-c4fac8d85180">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]I think TK boards are the only places I've ever heard donating money to charity called "rude." Asking for money for yourselves, yeah, I can see how that could be rude. But taking OPTIONAL donationgs for a good cause? Definitely not rude. If people don't want to give money, they don't have to. That's what optional means.
Posted by mrb5000[/QUOTE]

Oh please, get your head out of your ass. We have all been put in the awkward position of being asked by people we like/love to give money to something. You certainly feel obligated to give because of your relationship and many people just don't have the extra funds to give. If it puts guests in an awkward position you can bet your ass it is rude. How about not letting your guests pay for anything at your wedding.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:31595658-28c7-42f1-ae21-c4fac8d85180">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]I think TK boards are the only places I've ever heard donating money to charity called "rude." Asking for money for yourselves, yeah, I can see how that could be rude. But taking OPTIONAL donationgs for a good cause? Definitely not rude. If people don't want to give money, they don't have to. That's what optional means.
Posted by mrb5000[/QUOTE]

<div>Donating is not rude. If you want to donate, do it.</div><div>
</div><div>Asking your guests for cash is rude. This is not a difficult concept, nor is it new or different. </div><div>
</div><div>But, people will come up with any excuse to try to justify their rude behavior. </div>

Lasairiona · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:2584cae8-5c0b-45ea-9f4d-e65d223dde2e">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance Alternative : Oh please, get your head out of your ass. We have all been put in the awkward position of being asked by people we like/love to give money to something. You certainly feel obligated to give because of your relationship and many people just don't have the extra funds to give. If it puts guests in an awkward position you can bet your ass it is rude. How about not letting your guests pay for anything at your wedding.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
Well said! There is no excuse to be rude at all but it boggles the mind how many people try to justify it by saying it's cultural or regional. None of that changes the fact that it's rude and that someone on your guestlist will be highly offended, and offending folks has been known in the past to create permanent rifts in relationships. But if you still don't care, then nothing at all will change your mind.

Tiger_Tammer · April 2010

lol All of these post make me laugh! "it's rude", "totally lame" "makes people uncomforatably". C'mon, GROW UP! Everybody on here wants constructive ideas on their post, not a bunch of psycho brides who think their crap dont stink. If they want to collect money during their wedding, then the peeps attending should be Adult and mature enough to choose whether or not they would like to participate without holding a grudge about it. Seriously, if somebody would be so offended strong enough to end an entire friendship over something like this, they probably are not worth keeping around.

prideeinpynk · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:e1e2f722-fcce-432a-89c8-0c4afbdedba4">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]lC'mon, GROW UP! Everybody on here wants constructive ideas on their post, not a bunch of psycho brides who think their crap dont stink.
Posted by Tiger_Tammer[/QUOTE]

Mine smells like cinnamon rolls.

Also, OP is getting good advice - don't do it.

lalap69 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:e1e2f722-fcce-432a-89c8-0c4afbdedba4">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]lol All of these post make me laugh! "it's rude", "totally lame" "makes people uncomforatably". C'mon, GROW UP! Everybody on here wants constructive ideas on their post, not a bunch of psycho brides who think their crap dont stink. If they want to collect money during their wedding, then the peeps attending should be Adult and mature enough to choose whether or not they would like to participate without holding a grudge about it. Seriously, if somebody would be so offended strong enough to end an entire friendship over something like this, they probably are not worth keeping around.
Posted by Tiger_Tammer[/QUOTE]
Part of growing up is learning the proper way to behave in society.

I see you aren't there yet.

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:e1e2f722-fcce-432a-89c8-0c4afbdedba4">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]lol All of these post make me laugh! "it's rude", "totally lame" "makes people uncomforatably". C'mon, GROW UP! Everybody on here wants constructive ideas on their post, not a bunch of psycho brides who think their crap dont stink. If they want to collect money during their wedding, then the peeps attending should be Adult and mature enough to choose whether or not they would like to participate without holding a grudge about it. Seriously, if somebody would be so offended strong enough to end an entire friendship over something like this, they probably are not worth keeping around.
Posted by Tiger_Tammer[/QUOTE]
You should be adult and mature enough to type and spell like an adult.
She is getting constructive information.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:e1e2f722-fcce-432a-89c8-0c4afbdedba4">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]lol All of these post make me laugh! "it's rude", "totally lame" "makes people uncomforatably". C'mon, GROW UP! Everybody on here wants constructive ideas on their post, not a bunch of psycho brides who think their crap dont stink. If they want to collect money during their wedding, then the peeps attending should be Adult and mature enough to choose whether or not they would like to participate without holding a grudge about it. Seriously, if somebody would be so offended strong enough to end an entire friendship over something like this, they probably are not worth keeping around.
Posted by Tiger_Tammer[/QUOTE]

you sound real classy like.

sky7563 · April 2010

I have to say that I am keeping the tradition of the dance but without asking for money. I feel it is the only way to make sure that everyone who would like to dance with us gets to. I'm not sure how we are going to work this out yet because so many people are used to giving money. In fact if we set it up the general way I feel like certain people would still leave money on the table and refuse to take it back. Let me first say that my family is mostly jokesters so this might work for us and some others. Right now I'm thinking of having the dj ask everyone to clear the dance floor so we (the bride & groom) may share in another special moment. After we have been dancing for a moment...having my father step in (and the jokester that he is comment and I'm sure he will have an idea of what that should be), after that have my brother step in who will be in on it and willing to step in on my father making another comment. Then one of my uncles commenting and stepping in to keep it going. After that I was thinking the MOH/BM could go to tables and instruct people one by one that they may interrupt our dancing with someone if they would like (they would not have to comment). They could also reassure people that it is our time to dance with everyone. I feel having them go around to each person will help keep it running smoothly and give everyone a chance. I also think my FI mother would be up for going along with it so she can say something when my then husband

is left out and start the dancing with him. I still have to work it out and speak to everyone so its just an idea for now. Maybe it will help give an idea to someone else.

I'm open to suggstions/feedback but please only friendly constructive criticism.

mrb5000 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:98cc7894-54b7-4173-a981-f380e9018a3d">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]Your idea is lame and so are you. This is rude and gross.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

Yeah, lala, calling people lame is the proper way to behave in society.

And to everyone else, if you think providing a way for your guests to donate to a good cause is rude, so be it. I'm not talking about the bride and groom going around with jars and asking people for money to their face - I'm talking about just providing an option. I've been to plenty of weddings where there is a collection plate at the back of the church so that people that wish to may contribute donations to the church - I bet you think that's rude, too.

And back to OP - I do think that the fight song thing for money isn't the greatest idea, but you know your guests better than any of these girls do, so it's obviously your decision. If you're going to do that for the fun of it, not for the money, maybe you can specify that the jars have to be filled with pennies? I think Pennies shouldn't really count as money anyway, they're just annoying pieces of metal people carry around that they want to get rid of, so that could make it fun and competitive without being "rude."

Penn_State_Girl · April 2010

The Dollar Dance is a strong part of the area I grew up in. My fiance's family is actually upset that I don't want to take part in it.
The traditional dollar dance is not rude or lame, it's a part of people's heritages.

panda10 · April 2010

One idea is that when the guys come in at the reception you could have his fight song playing, and when the girls come in, your fight song could be playing.

I think dollar dances are a regional thing, and in the Mid-West (No, people in the mid west are not un-educated and lacking of class) it's something that is at most weddings, and I've NEVER heard of anyone complaining of a dollar dance.
Do what you want to do. Have fun. Don't listen to people who only write on these boards to shoot venom at everyone else.

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:7be66e00-e0a5-4209-aed6-774f6885563e">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]One idea is that when the guys come in at the reception you could have his fight song playing, and when the girls come in, your fight song could be playing. I think dollar dances are a regional thing, and in the Mid-West (No, people in the mid west are not un-educated and lacking of class) it's something that is at most weddings, and I've NEVER heard of anyone complaining of a dollar dance. Do what you want to do. <strong>Have fun. :) Don't listen to people who only write on these boards to shoot venom at everyone else. :)</strong>
Posted by panda10[/QUOTE]
Yes, that's the only reason I post here.
No, wait, I post because people ask for <strong>opinions</strong>.

wcvsb3b5 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-alternative?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dc676a98-b58f-4e52-8fd4-b2f5ec5841bePost:0e01fc9f-2c4b-4b00-9265-2a0d65001588">Re: Dollar Dance Alternative</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say that I am keeping the tradition of the dance but without asking for money. I feel it is the only way to make sure that everyone who would like to dance with us gets to. I'm not sure how we are going to work this out yet because so many people are used to giving money. Why don't you provide little pieces of paper for people to write down their congratulations/well-wishes/marital advice and have them give you those instead of a dollar? I've seen this done before and it goes over really well.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Oooo I LOVE this idea!!

sky7563 · April 2010

We went to a wedding in Germany with a strong Russian influence recently. They did the following...had the bridal party dress up as pirates and one stole the brides shoe. In order for the bride to get it back for their first dance the guests had to pay enough in "bounty". Then they did another collection in which the bridal party went around and you could put money in a basket marked boy or girl and the one with the most money was the sex the couple would have first. In addition, for the breakfast the next day you had to pay a toll to get in. There may have been even more that we missed. So on top of flying to Germany for the wedding and giving a gift we also felt obligated to participate in all of the extras...all of this and we had hardly any contact with the bride and groom all night. Alhtough it was fun, we felt it was a bit much.

The Money Dance is also very traditional where I am from. We feel it is more of a way for everyone to get a chance to dance with the Bride and Groom...as they can be very busy and not get the chance to. After my experience in Germany, I do not feel the dollar dance is necessarily rude or greedy...just depends on how you look at it, your intentions behind it, and what your guests are accustomed to.

I like the idea of battling fight songs. I thought the idea of using it for the bridal party intros was a good idea but you know your guests best and it is your wedding. Do what you want and ask the opinions of your close family and friends if you need some help/advice. They would probably be the best help.

chyleina · April 2010

LOVE stage's idea too. That's cute!!

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