If.... Then

Starmusica · September 2010

ugh.. this is one that has been making me hate the world lately-->

If you are on your third undergraduate institution in 6 years and still don't have a degree but feel the need to accuse me of being an antisocial jerk for spending the majority of my time studying for my law degree then I assume you a complete moron who should apply a little of your partying time to your classwork and leave me the hell alone for knowing what I want out of life.

maratea · September 2010

If you are drunk and simultaneously a raging political idiot, then, if you post something political and stupid on my FB wall, don't expect me to be nice to you. I don't care if you are drunk.

If you aren't doing any work to find a house you like, don't biitch about all the houses I schedule to show you (H...)

beatlesgirl25 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:edc29774-9889-4836-ae34-514421cce950">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : Ha, that made me laugh even though the actual situation infuriates me. If only GirCandy was healthy. GirCandy comes more in the form of yummy green leaves and alfalfa pellets, not tastes of the rainbow.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Oh no, what happened? Did someone do this for real? :(

Lenore2010 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:98da8f59-1100-4fa5-aada-9a9efecc811e">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : Story please! If you refer to your babies as your little "miracles," I will assume that abstinence-only sex education has failed you.
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

Oh, this is funny! Sometimes, my mom sees a screaming brat in public and says "Oh look! Another little miracle!"

anna.oskar · September 2010

If you ask me how I am and i respond "feeling kinda ill today", Don't then go off on how ill YOU feel and how it must be worse than how I could possibly feel because not only are you "ill", but you have a child to drain what little energy you have. Bite me

marriedfilingjointly · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:f3211a50-337d-4446-a876-5a47ada5cc15">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : Oh, this is funny! Sometimes, my mom sees a screaming brat in public and says "Oh look! Another little miracle!"
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

DED. So stealing that.

Lenore2010 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:25c38d57-e3a4-4e9a-9c00-2677390f6f2a">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]If you tell me or H one more time that we should have kids or buy a house then I am going to assume you are completely stupid and refuse to talk to you anymore. If you tell my entire department that our writing sucks and needs to improve but can't produce actual examples of said bad work or examples of ways to improve, then I figure you thrive on making our entire team miserable to the point of depression. If you feed a giraffe Skittles, then no question about it, you are ignorant and should be kicked in the throat.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Having kids is not for everyone and "buying a home" (the 30 year bank rental you just might wind up owning!) is not always a wise financial choice-if you don;t have the cash upfront for maintenance, don't do it. A LOT of CC debt is out there for home repairs people could not afford and they could not afford it because they got too much house on too little income, or were not really ready for a house at all.

I cannot tell you how many people I know who thought there homes were "good investments", and are now upside down on a mortgage. Buying has never been as advantageous as the real estate industry would like you to believe.

Anysunrise · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:e9265db4-7886-456d-9751-7c55948b002d">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]If you ask me how I am and i respond "feeling kinda ill today", Don't then go off on how ill YOU feel and how it must be worse than how I could possibly feel because not only are you "ill", but you have a child to drain what little energy you have. Bite me
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

One-uppers annoy me.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:8e1faf37-c3f1-4bc5-8a47-1d6439e086f3">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : Oh no, what happened? Did someone do this for real? :(
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

I used to work for the zoo, and one of my areas was the giraffes. We had a baby who developed stomach problems. They could have been genetic, a fluke, could have been brought on by food, we don't really know for sure. The vet said it was just a fluke, but you never really know.

She got really bad and spent the day sitting against the railing of the overlook, so if you reached down through the fence you could touch her head (this wasn't allowed). Well, it was super busy that day and I was helping with some education things and we were short-staffed, so I was alone. I turned my back for a few minutes, turned back around and there was a kid feeding her skittles.

I yelled at him, the parents got mad at me and said they were going to report me. While I was telling them why it's dangerous, he dumped the entire bag in the enclosure, which in turn encouraged another kid to toss in his candy. By the time I got down there, she had eaten a lot of it.

She died that night and I still feel like it's partly my fault. I loved that damn giraffe. I know she already had problems and wasn't going to make it, but still. I feel like I should have done something and it's stuck with me.

anna.oskar · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:383bea79-ac0e-465d-a3e9-dcc33fb030c4">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : One-uppers annoy me.
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

One of my sisters. She also talks about what a horrible pregnancy and delivery I'll have one day because "I have an inner strength built up from years of strife and you do not Anna"

I hope I have twins one day just to finally give her something hard to one-up. "I'm so talented that my body decided i could handle more than 1 child at a time, unlike the rest of you mere mortals." it would kill her.

Anysunrise · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:1b99aca7-1f2f-46c8-87ea-6b82a856819e">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : I used to work for the zoo, and one of my areas was the giraffes. We had a baby who developed stomach problems. They could have been genetic, a fluke, could have been brought on by food, we don't really know for sure. The vet said it was just a fluke, but you never really know. She got really bad and spent the day sitting against the railing of the overlook, so if you reached down through the fence you could touch her head (this wasn't allowed). Well, it was super busy that day and I was helping with some education things and we were short-staffed, so I was alone. I turned my back for a few minutes, turned back around and there was a kid feeding her skittles. I yelled at him, the parents got mad at me and said they were going to report me. While I was telling them why it's dangerous, he dumped the entire bag in the enclosure, which in turn encouraged another kid to toss in his candy. By the time I got down there, she had eaten a lot of it. She died that night and I still feel like it's partly my fault. I loved that damn giraffe. I know she already had problems and wasn't going to make it, but still. I feel like I should have done something and it's stuck with me.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Wow. I'd be tempted to throw that kid in with some hungry lions.

reddy123 · September 2010

Saddest. giraffe. story. ever.

Anysunrise · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:35a882dd-7626-4c48-9633-b5659989fba4">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : One of my sisters. She also talks about what a horrible pregnancy and delivery I'll have one day because "I have an inner strength built up from years of strife and you do not Anna" I hope I have twins one day just to finally give her something hard to one-up. "I'm so talented that my body decided i could handle more than 1 child at a time, unlike the rest of you mere mortals." it would kill her.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Haha, I will cross my fingers and hope for twins for you too. She sounds like a delight and a half.

beatlesgirl25 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:1b99aca7-1f2f-46c8-87ea-6b82a856819e">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : I used to work for the zoo, and one of my areas was the giraffes. We had a baby who developed stomach problems. They could have been genetic, a fluke, could have been brought on by food, we don't really know for sure. The vet said it was just a fluke, but you never really know. She got really bad and spent the day sitting against the railing of the overlook, so if you reached down through the fence you could touch her head (this wasn't allowed). Well, it was super busy that day and I was helping with some education things and we were short-staffed, so I was alone. I turned my back for a few minutes, turned back around and there was a kid feeding her skittles. I yelled at him, the parents got mad at me and said they were going to report me. While I was telling them why it's dangerous, he dumped the entire bag in the enclosure, which in turn encouraged another kid to toss in his candy. By the time I got down there, she had eaten a lot of it. She died that night and I still feel like it's partly my fault. I loved that damn giraffe. I know she already had problems and wasn't going to make it, but still. I feel like I should have done something and it's stuck with me.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

:( Oh, this is so, so sad. I'm sorry. And I don't think it was your fault at all. You did your best to try to stop the first kid, and the chain reaction was not what anyone planned to happen. And like you said, she didn't have the best of chances anyway. Poor giraffe. Though in all seriousness, at least she got to enjoy some treats before she passed.

rhodesign · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:161db9a6-ad99-450e-b786-54a3660b7533">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : That's sad. I HATE it when parents get upset that someone else has to do their damn job. If the sign says "Don't feed the giraffes" and you let your kid feed the giraffes, then don't get all pissy when someone makes your kids obey the rules. If there weren't child abuse laws, I would seriously hit that kid. Or just lock him in a room with the dead giraffe and berate him about how he killed it. Maybe that would scar him enough to pay attention to warnings. And also sue the parents that think their children are above the rules.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
I'd just hit the parents. sheesh!

If you get your baby boy circumcised and then cry/refuse to change them after you see how much pain he's in, then I'm going to assume you're a moron who didn't think the procedure through.

pirategal03 · September 2010

If the only time your facebook posts have correct spelling and grammar is when you copy/paste one of those "Repost this if you love JESUS/Horses/Paper Clips" type posts, then I think your school and your parents have failed you. (I'm looking at you, cousin who's a HS Senior)

jemmini6 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:00ed73b1-b50f-42c9-b36a-56e34b6f9f3d">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : I'd just hit the parents. sheesh! If you get your baby boy circumcised and then cry/refuse to change them after you see how much pain he's in, then I'm going to assume you're a moron who didn't think the procedure through.
Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

That too. Although I think a financial hit would actually affect them more than a physical one. But you guys are right, ESPECIALLY those types of parents would be more likely to sue the zoo. It's so irritating the kind of crap people pull these days.

jessienjeremy · September 2010

If I told you 3 months ago my wedding was in January and that the BM's dress is $150.... dont tell me when I send a reminder text out that you need to order it in the next month or it wont be here in time.. that you have to wait cause you dont have the money. You have had 4 months to save $150... maybe you shouldnt go to the bar every weekend.....

If you have a baby on the way... went to school to be a nurse but havent taken your license test yet cause you ahve no ambition and are LAZY... and live with your mom.... dont say you cant afford to buy your wife maternity clothes and buy stuff for your baby and then go buy a iphone and go to the bar 3 nights aweek with $60+ bar tabs every night.. and expect everyone to throw youa shower and buy all your gifts.

JennaV26 · September 2010

If you wear Uggs and Nike shorts out in public then you obviously have no fashion sense... or pride.

If you stay the weekend at my house and then derail my plans because you take so long to get ready and have absolutely no regard for my time then you and I are not going to get along and I am also going to tell my friend to dump your ugly ass.

jessienjeremy · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:8aad4e92-b89e-4764-9fd9-40f1b3a3cf28">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : I'm ignoring my ticker, I don't want to realize it yet.
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

LOL.... I cant wait till I am 2 wks away... I just want it to be here already so I can go on my honeymoom.... oh and eat the cake.. the cake is going to be so yummy

[Deleted User] · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:12f29990-a479-4de8-b9e6-0720ec5207ee">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If.... Then : That too. Although I think a financial hit would actually affect them more than a physical one. But you guys are right, ESPECIALLY those types of parents would be more likely to sue the zoo. It's so irritating the kind of crap people pull these days.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

Yeah I can't blame the kid because he couldn't have been older than 5, so he likely didn't know any better. But the parents were standing there watching him, and I asked nicely once and they ignored me, so I yelled. They later ended up reporting me, but my boss was on my side so it didn't matter.

NatesGirl16 · September 2010

Somewhat bandwagonning:

If you send me several "If you love Jesus, you'll have the guts to send this out to everyone in your contacts", then I assume several things about you.

One, you don't really understand Jesus's M.O., because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be stressing over whether people forward emails about him.

Two, you probably don't know me as well as you should, because I hate proselytizing via email.

Three, you're probably not that great of a Christian yourself, since you're obviously stealing company time by forwarding useless emails and challenging me to a one-up-man-esque duel over the internet.

katiewhompus · September 2010

Aw Sesh *non-touching hug*

MFJ, I am so spamming "My little miracle" on fb every day when we get pregnant, just for you.

If you are telling yourself a story after everyone else has left the room, Then you are only talking to hear yourself talk Yes coworker, this means you. I stood outside the door talking with a student while she had a full conversation with herself, not realizing every had left the room.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:f31247fd-c040-4afe-bbcc-915e19841fdf">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're 16 years old and your parents bought you a Hummer, then you're spoiled and your parents are idiots.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Eh I don't think that's fair. I went above and beyond on my SATs when I was 15. I had a 4.0 and as a reward my parents bought me a BMW. I never dented or crashed it and I babied it. I was responsible. I wouldn't consider myself spoiled and my parents weren't idiots.

If my kid works that hard and is as responsible as I was I'd totally buy them a Hummer (or whatever car/SUV is cool at the moment).

aprovencher21 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_then?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6938e052-901f-4ea5-b451-b03848f20f3ePost:b6f92670-dee4-4963-87c7-883151578faf">Re: If.... Then</a>:
[QUOTE]If you tell people how to dress at your wedding expect them to do the opposite just to spite you. If you throw away your cans, expect bums to be constantly rifling through our trash (neighbors). If you don't teach your kid that mooning is wrong, shiit's gonna hit the fan when they get into kindergarten. (ex SIL) If you don't teach your kid some manners, I will eventually lose my cool and wash his mouth out with soap. (ex SIL)
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

Totally not cool. Who says you get to physically discipline someone else's child??

emarston1 · September 2010

If you feel the need to state "uh I hate drama," then I am going to assume you thrive on it.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

If you hate or are hateful towards someone merely because they have money and can afford nice things then I think you're an idiot and jealous (I'm looking at you FMIL)

If you aren't nice to animals in general or more specifically dogs then I cannot be friends with you.

If you use me as a friend when its convenient but when I need some support you disappear and state I just cause drama (I didn't know having a wedding was a drama induced) then I think you're an ass and I wonder why I've been your friend for so long.

When you do stupid things and make stupid decisions and then your life goes to crap then I'm not surprised and I have a hard time feeling badly for you.

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