In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:05b493e5-41ae-42a1-8367-be89b182c78d">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]I like FFF because it gives people a chance to crack jokes. I do that more than flame. Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:5ece77a8-358d-482e-a750-f8e776d7c08b">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never again? : Hmm, good point. That is helpful. I just hate how catty women get when they are "together" and when they gang up on people. More often than not, the flames I've noticed are just bitch moves. Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]
I totally see your point here, and I think I felt this way when I first started coming here. "Why the hell are these girls doing this to each other?" There are times when it gets catty, there are times when it gets funny, sometimes I'm flamed and get pissed about it, sometimes I flame someone and they get pissed... but I guess I see it as all in good fun. As others have said, it's a "safe place" to let out your frustrations. I see it as a "what happens in FFF, stays in FFF" kind of thing. And if someone says something biitchy about you, the beauty of it is that you can come right back at them.
I've seen people reference FFF to Fight Club. I like that analogy.
A&H, I'm not trying to change your mind or single you out or anything, I guess just explaining my point of view. It's cool if you don't like FFF, I know you aren't the only one.
Ok, I know what LC's job is, but AK, what the eff do you do that you can have alcohol at work? Seriously, I am not familiar with this phenomenon. We can have it at work DINNERS. But, I think if I drank at LUNCH, outside the office, and came back with alcohol on my breath I'd be sent home & yelled at severely later. Drinking in the office? Fired on the spot, most likely.
Ok, in all honesty, it's not a secret what FFF is about. It's cleverly labeled FFF. When you open it, you take the chance that you'll see your name mentioned. If you don't want to know what people are saying, don't read it.
Like I don't read 99% of wedding related posts. If I was butt hurt easily, fuuck no would I read and/or participate in FFF.
I'd probably choose to live in a happy little bubble thinking everyone loves me. But I like to have a little self awareness. So if my name is mentioned and I'm being a dweeb about something and other people agree, I'm probably gonna take a look at what I'm doing that's stupid and change it.
Maybe. Or I might just keep doing things to bug you people.
Haha Squirrly, I actually work for a staffing company. I place people on temporary and permanent jobs. It's so totally not the work environment for drinking... especially because my employees are in and out all day on Fridays. But the owner apparently initiated Happy Hour Fridays and everyone jumped on board. I just have to keep the beer out of sight from people walking in.
ANY other firm I've worked at, it would be immediate grounds for termination. Which is why I didn't believe them on my first day when they offered me a beer. Hehe.
I know, Dani. I'm not annoyed or anything. We can all have opinions on it. You all can flame and I just won't. Like Fischey said, I don't have to read it or participate if I don't want to.
Squirrly, we can drink at my office too. I think in part it's because it's a small staff so it's not like things will get out of hand.
Scary thing is I used to work at a salon/spa and they would drink there. I surprised people didn't lose ears or fingers.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:fd29f4b2-e6f3-4f89-9f20-973e6e7f06ef">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]Ok, in all honesty, it's not a secret what FFF is about. It's cleverly labeled FFF. <strong>When you open it, you take the chance that you'll see your name mentioned. If you don't want to know what people are saying, don't read it.</strong> Like I don't read 99% of wedding related posts. If I was butt hurt easily, fuuck no would I read and/or participate in FFF. I'd probably choose to live in a happy little bubble thinking everyone loves me. But I like to have a little self awareness. So if my name is mentioned and I'm being a dweeb about something and other people agree, I'm probably gonna take a look at what I'm doing that's stupid and change it. Maybe. Or I might just keep doing things to bug you people. Posted by crfische[/QUOTE] Yeah that's how I feel. If you've been around here for more than a couple weeks, you know what FFF is, and you should know yourself well enough to know if it's going to affect you to be mentioned.
I've never actually read a FFF but I think I would like to see one now because I'm so F'N bored. Even if it includes me, I don't think I would get butthurt over it.
It sounds like a good way to let off steam. Personal messages can get really heated and there's noone around to "moderate" or put in a reality check so things could get ugly pretty quick.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:8f9cbffb-dc68-48b0-9483-4301f063c547">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]Ok, I know what LC's job is, but AK, what the eff do you do that you can have alcohol at work? Seriously, I am not familiar with this phenomenon. We can have it at work DINNERS. But, I think if I drank at LUNCH, outside the office, and came back with alcohol on my breath I'd be sent home & yelled at severely later. Drinking in the office? Fired on the spot, most likely. Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
Coming from the East Coast, I didn't get this either. I work in a traditional office where we can't drink. I've never worked someplace where we can. But I have a lot of friends who work in WAY more laid back places with small staffs, like pre and port-production houses, who get margarita Friday and the like.
If you thought you would be mentioned in FFF would you really not read it? If I do something dumb, you bet I want to see if I get talked about. I want to have just as much information as anyone else, especially if it's about me.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:5576c014-9b24-4cde-8a78-776dd292ae90">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]If you thought you would be mentioned in FFF would you really not read it? If I do something dumb, you bet I want to see if I get talked about. I want to have just as much information as anyone else, especially if it's about me. Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Totally agree with this. If people were saying (or even thinking) shiit about me, I'd rather know than be completely ignorant of it.
Yeah, if I do something that makes me think, "oh crap, I'm going to get flamed for that," I definitely check for my name in FFF. Shiit, I made that stupid comment about JOP weddings and someone waited two weeks to flame me for it!! I thought I'd dodged a bullet.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:374a30fe-2abd-4228-9177-a65cf63db4b7">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]This thread is a little like watching an ice cream commercial in the middle of the desert. You want it bad but you know you're never gonna get it. Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]
Haha well maybe now after all of this, we'll have one next Friday after all. Who knows? Maybe I'll get up the courage to start it.
I think FFF is completely juvenile. It might be hypocritical to say because I have participated in the past, but I ignore it more often than not.
People "saving" things for FFF is ridiculous. If you have something to say, say it in the thread or not at all. Don't wait until it's "safe."
People rehashing threads in FFF is also pretty lame. It was probably understood the first time.
After a while, the reality of the fact that a bunch of grown women were creating a thread spefically to have a consequence-free way of talking shiit on each other sunk in and it's just so ridiculous.
And the idea that a message board needs to "blow off steam" just sounds like a justification of gross behavior.
I'm not saying that being what this board considers "snarky" (read: bitchy) to each other is wrong or doesn't have its place. I just think creating a space for it, rather than just saying what you want to say, is really a poor reflection on all of us who participate.
On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same. Blog
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:468100f1-66d1-40fe-9e14-8f9cc214318a">Re: Never again?</a>: [QUOTE]I think FFF is completely juvenile. It might be hypocritical to say because I have participated in the past, but I ignore it more often than not. People "saving" things for FFF is ridiculous. If you have something to say, say it in the thread or not at all. Don't wait until it's "safe." People rehashing threads in FFF is also pretty lame. It was probably understood the first time. After a while, the reality of the fact that a bunch of grown women were creating a thread spefically to have a consequence-free way of talking shiit on each other sunk in and it's just so ridiculous. And the idea that a message board needs to "blow off steam" just sounds like a justification of gross behavior. I'm not saying that being what this board considers "snarky" (read: bitchy) to each other is wrong or doesn't have it's place. I just think creating a space for it, rather than just saying what you want to say, is really a poor reflection on all of us who participate. Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]
I agree with TJ.
Sugarcoat it how ever you want, but the whole concept it obnoxious. If you have something to say, just say it, instead of waiting for the FFF thread. Waiting until there are no consequences for flaming someone is cowardly and pathetically juvenile. I don't see why, on a public forum that doesn't condone flaming, such a thread should even be allowed.
Re: Never again?
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
[QUOTE]I like FFF because it gives people a chance to crack jokes. I do that more than flame.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
HEY SOUL SISTER!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never again? : Hmm, good point. That is helpful. I just hate how catty women get when they are "together" and when they gang up on people. More often than not, the flames I've noticed are just bitch moves.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]
I totally see your point here, and I think I felt this way when I first started coming here. "Why the hell are these girls doing this to each other?" There are times when it gets catty, there are times when it gets funny, sometimes I'm flamed and get pissed about it, sometimes I flame someone and they get pissed... but I guess I see it as all in good fun. As others have said, it's a "safe place" to let out your frustrations. I see it as a "what happens in FFF, stays in FFF" kind of thing. And if someone says something biitchy about you, the beauty of it is that you can come right back at them.
I've seen people reference FFF to Fight Club. I like that analogy.
Married!
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
A&H, I'm not trying to change your mind or single you out or anything, I guess just explaining my point of view. It's cool if you don't like FFF, I know you aren't the only one.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Like I don't read 99% of wedding related posts. If I was butt hurt easily, fuuck no would I read and/or participate in FFF.
I'd probably choose to live in a happy little bubble thinking everyone loves me. But I like to have a little self awareness. So if my name is mentioned and I'm being a dweeb about something and other people agree, I'm probably gonna take a look at what I'm doing that's stupid and change it.
Maybe. Or I might just keep doing things to bug you people.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
ANY other firm I've worked at, it would be immediate grounds for termination. Which is why I didn't believe them on my first day when they offered me a beer. Hehe.
Married!
Squirrly, we can drink at my office too. I think in part it's because it's a small staff so it's not like things will get out of hand.
Scary thing is I used to work at a salon/spa and they would drink there. I surprised people didn't lose ears or fingers.
[QUOTE]Ok, in all honesty, it's not a secret what FFF is about. It's cleverly labeled FFF. <strong>When you open it, you take the chance that you'll see your name mentioned. If you don't want to know what people are saying, don't read it.</strong> Like I don't read 99% of wedding related posts. If I was butt hurt easily, fuuck no would I read and/or participate in FFF. I'd probably choose to live in a happy little bubble thinking everyone loves me. But I like to have a little self awareness. So if my name is mentioned and I'm being a dweeb about something and other people agree, I'm probably gonna take a look at what I'm doing that's stupid and change it. Maybe. Or I might just keep doing things to bug you people.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
Yeah that's how I feel. If you've been around here for more than a couple weeks, you know what FFF is, and you should know yourself well enough to know if it's going to affect you to be mentioned.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
It sounds like a good way to let off steam. Personal messages can get really heated and there's noone around to "moderate" or put in a reality check so things could get ugly pretty quick.
[QUOTE]Ok, I know what LC's job is, but AK, what the eff do you do that you can have alcohol at work? Seriously, I am not familiar with this phenomenon. We can have it at work DINNERS. But, I think if I drank at LUNCH, outside the office, and came back with alcohol on my breath I'd be sent home & yelled at severely later. Drinking in the office? Fired on the spot, most likely.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
Coming from the East Coast, I didn't get this either. I work in a traditional office where we can't drink. I've never worked someplace where we can. But I have a lot of friends who work in WAY more laid back places with small staffs, like pre and port-production houses, who get margarita Friday and the like.
40/112
40/112
[QUOTE]If you thought you would be mentioned in FFF would you really not read it? If I do something dumb, you bet I want to see if I get talked about. I want to have just as much information as anyone else, especially if it's about me.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Totally agree with this. If people were saying (or even thinking) shiit about me, I'd rather know than be completely ignorant of it.
Married!
You want it bad but you know you're never gonna get it.
[QUOTE]This thread is a little like watching an ice cream commercial in the middle of the desert. You want it bad but you know you're never gonna get it.
Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]
Haha well maybe now after all of this, we'll have one next Friday after all. Who knows? Maybe I'll get up the courage to start it.
Married!
244 Invited
RSVP Date October 3, 2011
People "saving" things for FFF is ridiculous. If you have something to say, say it in the thread or not at all. Don't wait until it's "safe."
People rehashing threads in FFF is also pretty lame. It was probably understood the first time.
After a while, the reality of the fact that a bunch of grown women were creating a thread spefically to have a consequence-free way of talking shiit on each other sunk in and it's just so ridiculous.
And the idea that a message board needs to "blow off steam" just sounds like a justification of gross behavior.
I'm not saying that being what this board considers "snarky" (read: bitchy) to each other is wrong or doesn't have its place. I just think creating a space for it, rather than just saying what you want to say, is really a poor reflection on all of us who participate.
Blog
[QUOTE]I think FFF is completely juvenile. It might be hypocritical to say because I have participated in the past, but I ignore it more often than not. People "saving" things for FFF is ridiculous. If you have something to say, say it in the thread or not at all. Don't wait until it's "safe." People rehashing threads in FFF is also pretty lame. It was probably understood the first time. After a while, the reality of the fact that a bunch of grown women were creating a thread spefically to have a consequence-free way of talking shiit on each other sunk in and it's just so ridiculous. And the idea that a message board needs to "blow off steam" just sounds like a justification of gross behavior. I'm not saying that being what this board considers "snarky" (read: bitchy) to each other is wrong or doesn't have it's place. I just think creating a space for it, rather than just saying what you want to say, is really a poor reflection on all of us who participate.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]
I agree with TJ.
Sugarcoat it how ever you want, but the whole concept it obnoxious. If you have something to say, just say it, instead of waiting for the FFF thread. Waiting until there are no consequences for flaming someone is cowardly and pathetically juvenile.
I don't see why, on a public forum that doesn't condone flaming, such a thread should even be allowed.