My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

dmac64 · November 2012

I have 2 daughters, and the younger one is getting married in June. The older one is not married. While they have always been 2 different people, with different ways of living, they have always loved each other. The problem I'm having is that my daughter isn't asking her sister to be MOH. She's only having 3 people in her bridal party. Her sister and 2 married friends. The one friend is VERY pushy and manipulative. She is also very jealous. If my daughter wants anything that might be nicer than what she had at her wedding, she tries to talk my daughter out of it. And yes, my daughter is aware of this. The other girl is nice, from what I remember. But both friends don't have much money. They can never seem to come to any of the events for the wedding either due to no gas, no car, their kids, ect.... Her sister doesn't have much money either, but has been there for EVERYTHING. Wedding dress shopping, bridal shoes, she even took work off twice to go with her sister for her wedding gown fittings. The second time was when the dress came in and she went to learn how to work the bustle. The other girls could never show up to these things. Only the pushy one made it to the wedding dress shopping and caused alot of trouble. It just hurts me beyond belief that she's not having her ONLY sibling as her MOH, when she's the only one who's been there for her with all this. The worse part is, while I know she's not being MOH, my daughter has yet to inform her of that fact. This is just going to crush her. My daughter says she's big on family, so why is she acting like this? Even her dad is upset about it. Our family has enough stress without all this. You see my husband has been fighting cancer. This situation is going to pull this whole family apart. Even my mother (who is very ill) is upset about it. When she tried to talk to my daughter, she called me and yelled at me for telling her and making her talk to her about it. I did NO SUCH THING!!! I'm at my wits end. The only decision I've come up with is to stay completely hands off when it comes to the wedding. Alot of the decisions she's made are not sitting well with me and her dad. No single people will be allowed to bring a guest. No garter toss because the groom thinks it's gross. Way too many rules to get into here. So I've decided to stay out of the wedding and solely focus on the shower. Am I wrong?

kmmssg · November 2012

I am a fellow MOB. I understand some of your concerns here like no singles being given dates, but I really encourage you to stick with your decision to stay out of the wedding. Countless girls come on here LIVID that their parents demand a sister be MOH or they won't pay for the wedding. I, myself, have a sister who would never in a million years be my MOH. We do not have that kind of relationship and she makes it very difficult to spend time around her.

We tell girls here all the time that their parents need to butt out of the bridal party decisions and choose the girls they want. I REALLY do get that you don't like the MOH. One of my DD's had a BM I wanted to slap upside the head because she was overbearingly opinionated and drove me nuts. I stayed out of it.

Please tell grandma not to call anymore. I do believe you didn't put her up to it, but you, your husband, and your mom need to understand that this is the bride's decision and mandating or shaming her into choosing her sister is very wrong. Even if the sister is doing everything right in your eyes, you need to leave this alone.

Sounds like the happy couple has their own idea of how this is going to go down. You will save yourself a lot of grief if you let it go and just worry about the shower. I truly do get where you are coming from on some of this, but you guys all need to back off on sister being MOH and let this be between the sisters.

If you guys let this decision pull the whole family apart, that is on you. That is a choice you are willingly making. This is none of your business or anyone else's. If you guys choose to be this dramatic about one small aspect of the wedding, it is your doing, not your daughter's.

I have 4 daughters - 2 bio and 2 step. Please tell me why this should pull your family apart. If you all accept that fact that it isn't your decision or your business there should be no drama at all. It would take a whole lot more than that to tear my family apart.

Does your daughter who is a BM think she is MOH? If so, how did she get that idea?

kmmssg · November 2012

I forgot, I think the garter tradition is gross too. The bouquet toss is also a great disservice to the single ladies. Many young couples are foregoing those traditions.

kmmssg · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:9d8a2f3f-e6ff-446a-942c-e696ff9f4731">My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 2 daughters, and the younger one is getting married in June. The older one is not married. While they have always been 2 different people, with different ways of living, they have always loved each other. The problem I'm having is that my daughter isn't asking her sister to be MOH. She's only having 3 people in her bridal party. Her sister and 2 married friends. The one friend is VERY pushy and manipulative. She is also very jealous. If my daughter wants anything that might be nicer than what she had at her wedding, she tries to talk my daughter out of it. And yes, my daughter is aware of this. The other girl is nice, from what I remember. But both friends don't have much money. They can never seem to come to any of the events for the wedding either due to no gas, no car, their kids, ect.... Her sister doesn't have much money either, but has been there for EVERYTHING. Wedding dress shopping, bridal shoes, she even took work off twice to go with her sister for her wedding gown fittings. The second time was when the dress came in and she went to learn how to work the bustle. The other girls could never show up to these things. Only the pushy one made it to the wedding dress shopping and caused alot of trouble. It just hurts me beyond belief that she's not having her ONLY sibling as her MOH, when she's the only one who's been there for her with all this. The worse part is, while I know she's not being MOH, my daughter has yet to inform her of that fact. This is just going to crush her. My daughter says she's big on family, so why is she acting like this? Even her dad is upset about it. Our family has enough stress without all this. You see my husband has been fighting cancer. This situation is going to pull this whole family apart. Even my mother (who is very ill) is upset about it. When she tried to talk to my daughter, she called me and yelled at me for telling her and making her talk to her about it. I did NO SUCH THING!!! I'm at my wits end. The only decision I've come up with is to stay completely hands off when it comes to the wedding. Alot of the decisions she's made are not sitting well with me and her dad. No single people will be allowed to bring a guest. No garter toss because the groom thinks it's gross. Way too many rules to get into here. So I've decided to stay out of the wedding and solely focus on the shower. Am I wrong?
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Copying because I don't think she is going to get the support she is looking for and expect a DD.

</div>

dmac64 · November 2012

While I said it was driving me crazy, I ALSO said I was staying "HANDS OFF" the wedding. It is HER wedding. The choices she makes are hers to live with for the rest of her life. And she doesn't really know exactly how her dad feels either. Good thing, cuz God fobid he passes away before the wedding, it's best she doesn't know his disappointment. And after all that has happened, I DON"T want my daughter as MOH. She should NEVER be picked out of guilt. Besides, karma is a b*tch. I saw it happen to my own brother when he got married. And no, I never put or will put conditions on the money I hand her for this. I want her to be happy. I happily paid out BIG bucks for her wedding gown because it's what she wanted. All I meant to say was that this whole situation HURTS LIKE HELL!!!!! But this is one mom who will be out of the wedding planning altogether. I'll just hand over money and show up. I won't let her blame me for anything that might not go right.

theelusive1 · November 2012

I told my daughter day one. Here is x amount of money. Plan YOUR wedding. This is not my wedding. My daughter is not having siblings in the wedding. Some are not invited. Once again her wedding.
I am not telling them what to do, who to invite, or anything.
I will not let a wedding or anything about it come between my daughter and I. This is one day. I know a lot of people who do not have their family in the wedding. My daughter was in one last year, the bride did not ask her sister to be in her wedding at all and the sister was livid! I told the sister to let it go.
I am also a 2x cancer survivor. Not sure what that has to do with anything. Other than I want and make sure my life is less stress.

My favorite line when asked anything is. It isn't my wedding. I think it should be yours too.

freebread03 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:e832d4d2-e187-4960-9eee-b851ebd3b170">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]While I said it was driving me crazy, I ALSO said I was staying "HANDS OFF" the wedding. It is HER wedding. T<strong>he choices she makes are hers to live with for the rest of her life.</strong> And she doesn't really know exactly how her dad feels either. Good thing, cuz God fobid he passes away before the wedding, it's best she doesn't know his disappointment. And after all that has happened, I DON"T want my daughter as MOH. She should NEVER be picked out of guilt. Besides, karma is a b*tch. I saw it happen to my own brother when he got married. And no, I never put or will put conditions on the money I hand her for this. I want her to be happy. I happily paid out BIG bucks for her wedding gown because it's what she wanted. All I meant to say was that this whole situation HURTS LIKE HELL!!!!! But this is one mom who will be out of the wedding planning altogether. I'll just hand over money and show up. I won't let her blame me for anything that might not go right.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Dramatic much? Wow, your daughter is lucky you are planning to stay out of the wedding planning because it seems like you are very judgmental and negative. The fact that you're making such a big deal out of this is just so strange to me--your daughter should choose whoever she wants for her bridal party, and it sounds like she has. She made your other daughter a bridesmaid, which is an honor itself. Your MOH or other bridal party members shouldn;t be chosen by who will do the most for you-it seems like you're confused about what this title really means.

</div>

MairePoppy · November 2012

I think you are making the right decision to stay out of the wedding planning. My husband and I gave our daughter $$ to put toward her wedding budget. We decided, at the start, to make this a gift with no strings attached. It was lovely to watch the couple plan their special day together. They didn't do things exactly as I would have, but it turned out to be a beautiful, meaningful ceremony, followed by the most fantastic party I could have imagined. I'm glad I didn't know all the little details. The two of them were so proud of the many compliments they received. The bonus - no fights or misunderstandings between my daughter and I during the planning process - so different from my own wedding.

My daughter and son-in-law did not do a garter toss. My mother was disappointed to know they were not planning one, but she completely forgot about it, on the day of the wedding. No one missed it. Ditto the bouquet toss. These customs seem to have gone out of style. I haven't seen either done at the last several weddings that I have attended.

Don't get involved with the MOH decision. Your daughters are adults and should be able to work this out between themselves. You're the mom, you should remain neutral.

Your daughter will figure out, sooner or later, who is worthy of her friendship. Don't judge her friends or comment on their financial situations. I'm sure you already know that making remarks about the friends results in arguments between you and your daughter.

Don't complain to your own mom about your daughter's decisions. Let her get the information directly from your daughter, as needed. Again, you should remain neutral.

I'm sorry about your husband's illness. This must be a very difficult time for your family.

dmac64 · November 2012

I can tell by peoples response that no one clomes from a very close knit family, where family means everything. But that's too bad. I feel sorry for all of you. You'll never have them around when you really need them because it seems you are burning those bridges. Too bad. But I guess that's whats wrong with the world now a days. No thoughts for anyone else. It's a "ME" world.

kmmssg · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:cb5831a1-28c5-480a-9c88-84accc02350d">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can tell by peoples response that no one clomes from a very close knit family, where family means everything. But that's too bad. I feel sorry for all of you. You'll never have them around when you really need them because it seems you are burning those bridges. Too bad. But I guess that's whats wrong with the world now a days. No thoughts for anyone else. It's a "ME" world.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]

<div>Please do not assume I do not have a close family. We are incredibly close and always have been. INCREDIBLY close. We mean everything to each other. How does letting a couple plan their own wedding and keeping our noses out of who our DDs choose as their MOH mean we don't have close families? You are sadly mistaken. No need to feel sorry for my family, you just didn't get the validation you wanted so you are striking out.</div>

dmac64 · November 2012

I'm not striking out at anyone. My family has been through alot these past few years, and my some of my daughters choices seem like a slap to her family. Yes my husband has cancer. But its a cancer they haven't been able to control. It's been almoost 3 years now. And all this stuff is hurting him as well. As for her grandmother, well it's awefully hard to tell her to back off when she was just put in critical care unit.oh and the brides grandfather died a couple years ago from cancer and her stepgrandfather just went through colon cancer. So if our family is abit to touchy about these things its because we've had too much loss and possible loss. But i guess it was ok for thm to change where the ceremony was because the grooms mother cry didn't approve and cried and wouldn't speak to anyone for a week. But I'm the manipulative on because i'd like her sister to be moh. I'm not crying or demanding. If its what she wants, then fine. As long as shes happy. I was only venting because i was hurting.

mysi019 · November 2012

After reading this post, I am thankful that both my parents and my FI parents said this is what we are going to give you, do what you want with it and enjoy. Thankfully we are close enough that they respect the fact that this is my (my FI) wedding and not theres. I am also not having my sister as my MOH in fact I am having two of my closest friends be my MOH and my sister just be a bridesmaid with his sister and two other friends.

I love my sister to death but she is my sister, poss a good friend at best. We are very close as sisters, I helped raise her from the time she was 4 ( i was 13) when my mom left us with our dad (whole different story) But these girls are my BEST friends.

I think my mom and I know my sister were even taken back by it but it didnt ruin our family. And if it would have ruined it, what kind of family did we have to begin with. I think when my sister thought about it, like really thought about it. She understood, that she prob wouldnt have me either when the time comes to it.

dmac64 · November 2012

I wasn't using anything as an excuse even if it sounded like so. All that i was trying to coney is the amount of stress my family is under and my worry that itsplaying a part in all decisions. And as for not picking a moh by what she will be able vto do, well thats exactly what my daughter told me she was doing. She was waiting to see who was going to be there for her. So yes, i was surprised and hurt because her sister has been the only one who has done that. If itwas her decision all along not to pick her, she should have just said so instead of using a reasoning that was only a lie to postpone having to hurt her sister. I was not trying to pick a fight with anyone on here. This site was my daughters idea to me. This was the first time i've used it since she set me up with it a year ago. All i wanted to do wasvent my feelings,not be attacked by a bunch of people who have no clue as to circumstances. I see i was very wrong as to what this site is all about. I also see where my daughter has received all her misinformation from. Too bad. Thought this was suppose to be a good site. I was wrong. Won't be using it or reccommending it anymore. And not that its anyone business, but me and my daughter have a very good relationship. We bothe speak honestly with each other about our feeling good or bad. Its a 2 way street. I wish all the brides on here luck. Hopefully they will learn alittle more about compramise to take into their marriages. But i can see and understand more why the divorce rate is so high in this country now after this experience. I was only 18 when i got married 30 years ago. And believe me, it wouldn't have lasted that long if i had the selfish mentality i've seen on here. Good luck everyone. I'll pray for you.

artbyallie · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:58ea2c91-2528-4bc1-a6a3-26dd30c8e286">Re:My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I wasn't using anything as an excuse even if it sounded like so. All that i was trying to coney is the amount of stress my family is under and my worry that itsplaying a part in all decisions. And as for not picking a moh by what she will be able vto do, well thats exactly what my daughter told me she was doing. She was waiting to see who was going to be there for her. So yes, i was surprised and hurt because her sister has been the only one who has done that. If itwas her decision all along not to pick her, she should have just said so instead of using a reasoning that was only a lie to postpone having to hurt her sister. I was not trying to pick a fight with anyone on here. This site was my daughters idea to me. This was the first time i've used it since she set me up with it a year ago. All i wanted to do wasvent my feelings,not be attacked by a bunch of people who have no clue as to circumstances. I see i was very wrong as to what this site is all about. I also see where my daughter has received all her misinformation from. Too bad. Thought this was suppose to be a good site. I was wrong. Won't be using it or reccommending it anymore. And not that its anyone business, but me and my daughter have a very good relationship. We bothe speak honestly with each other about our feeling good or bad. Its a 2 way street. I wish all the brides on here luck. Hopefully they will learn alittle more about compramise to take into their marriages. But i can see and understand more why the divorce rate is so high in this country now after this experience. I was only 18 when i got married 30 years ago. And believe me, it wouldn't have lasted that long if i had the selfish mentality i've seen on here. Good luck everyone. I'll pray for you.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow. Clearly, you are a petty, controlling woman, and it's truly a shame you won't take the good advice of the lovely women on this forum. I think your daughter sent you here to get you to chill the eff out, but sadly it seems to have backfired. If what you have described is your definition of a 'close-knit' family, then I guess I'm glad mine doesn't fit that. I'll be sure and give my mom an extra-large hug today because she was nothing like you during my wedding planning.</div>

MairePoppy · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:46a61fd8-3270-4088-96c0-fd6b8114147c">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not striking out at anyone. My family has been through alot these past few years, and my some of my daughters choices seem like a slap to her family. Yes my husband has cancer. But its a cancer they haven't been able to control. It's been almoost 3 years now. And all this stuff is hurting him as well. As for her grandmother, well it's awefully hard to tell her to back off when she was just put in critical care unit.oh and the brides grandfather died a couple years ago from cancer and her stepgrandfather just went through colon cancer. So if our family is abit to touchy about these things its because we've had too much loss and possible loss. But i guess it was ok for thm to change where the ceremony was because the grooms mother cry didn't approve and cried and wouldn't speak to anyone for a week. But I'm the manipulative on because i'd like her sister to be moh. I'm not crying or demanding. If its what she wants, then fine. As long as shes happy. I was only venting because i was hurting.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]

Do you think none of our families have suffered tragic losses? I'm sorry your husband has cancer. I know what it's like to watch someone you love suffer from a terrible illness. I also know what it's like to have elderly parents with serious illnesses. It's heartbreaking.

My family is small and very close. I was close to own mom, until she took over my wedding. It took a long, long time for me to get over being bullied and manipulated by a mom that seemed to change her personality as soon as we announced our engagement. I didn't want to repeat that experience with my own daughter.

Your close family members need to pull together to help each other through these tough times. Don't let the wedding planning come between you and your daughter.

I'll pray for you, too.

MairePoppy · November 2012

Stage - my condolences on the loss of your grandmother. My grandmother was my best friend. She passed away many years ago. I still miss her, but in a nice way. Thanksgiving was her holiday, so this is the time of year when I think about her every day. I hope your memories of your grandmother will be as comforting to you as mine are.

freebread03 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:cb5831a1-28c5-480a-9c88-84accc02350d">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can tell by peoples response that no one clomes from a very close knit family, where family means everything. But that's too bad. I feel sorry for all of you. You'll never have them around when you really need them because it seems you are burning those bridges. Too bad. But I guess that's whats wrong with the world now a days. No thoughts for anyone else. It's a "ME" world.w
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's pretty funny that you can tell that just from people's posts. I just spend the weekend with my mom, who was visiting from across the country. I'd call that pretty close.</div><div>
</div><div>It's also funny that you acuse women on here of thinking its a "ME" world, when that's exactly how you're acting about your DAUGHTER'S choices. Each to their own.

</div>

theelusive1 · November 2012

Wow I like that we get attacked because she did not get her way in her ME world. Yes mine is a ME world. Me takes care of 6 children. Yes Me volunteers for 3 different organizations. Yes ME takes food to shut ins. Yes ME gives rides to people from church to doctors appointments. That was give not get paid for. Yes ME is letting my daughter plan her own wedding.
Yes ME just had surgery and still does these things. Your right there are a lot of ME people on here. They are just not like YOU.

YOU are a control freak. YOU did not get your way with your daughters choice of MOH. YOU are not getting your way with your daughters wedding. YOU are lashing out.

Did you ever think your daughter put you onto this site because she knew that we would not agree with you.

zitiqueen · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:46a61fd8-3270-4088-96c0-fd6b8114147c">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not striking out at anyone. My family has been through alot these past few years, and my some of my daughters choices seem like a slap to her family. Yes my husband has cancer. But its a cancer they haven't been able to control. It's been almoost 3 years now. And all this stuff is hurting him as well. As for her grandmother, well it's awefully hard to tell her to back off when she was just put in critical care unit.oh and the brides grandfather died a couple years ago from cancer and her stepgrandfather just went through colon cancer. So if our family is abit to touchy about these things its because we've had too much loss and possible loss. But i guess it was ok for thm to change where the ceremony was because the grooms mother cry didn't approve and cried and wouldn't speak to anyone for a week. But I'm the manipulative on because i'd like her sister to be moh. I'm not crying or demanding. If its what she wants, then fine. As long as shes happy. I was only venting because i was hurting.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]

Something tells me you're very big on using guilt to manipulate your children into doing what you want. Your poor kids.

Peledreamsofrain · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:cb5831a1-28c5-480a-9c88-84accc02350d">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can tell by peoples response that no one clomes from a very close knit family, where family means everything. But that's too bad. I feel sorry for all of you. You'll never have them around when you really need them because it seems you are burning those bridges. Too bad. But I guess that's whats wrong with the world now a days. No thoughts for anyone else. It's a "ME" world.
Posted by dmac64[/QUOTE]

You are not a very polite, gracious, or kind person to make this comment about people you don't know.

The event that you are turning it a BIG DRAMA FIT *Gasp, faint,* heavens to betsy!!!!..... is a party. A big party. It's not going to ruin your life as you assert. Nor is it going to ruin anyone else's. To say otherwise is just the epitome of silly.

Please carry epsom salts and high blood pressure medication with you. You seem prone to attacks of drama at the slightest provocation. I feel sorry for your daughter, having a judgemental mother glaring at her the entire time she's trying so hard to plan something that is extremely stressful to pull together.

I thank god every day that my mother was supportive and non-judgemental while I planned my wedding. If she had looked down her nose at me the entire time instead of supporting me, I would have cried myself to sleep every night from all the immense pressures assailing me from all directions. Brides NEVER can make everyone happy, and that gets overwhelming. I remember getting to the point where I just wanted to call the entire thing off, because people were so ungrateful, and demanding, and disapproved of EVERYTHING that I planned. (oh! You're doing THAT color? OH I don't like it.) wtf, it's a color.

Fallingtopieces · November 2012

I feel sorry for this Mother of the Bride. She came here to vent some of her feelings and is being electronically jumped for it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; she has her opinions, and you all have yours. There is no reason to be attacking her this way. Clearly, nobody knows the whole situation with this particular wedding, nor do we know the whole situation for anyone elses. We do not know what is even going on with the groom's side of the family...they could be just as bad. We also do not know each other personally, so there is absolutely no reason to be calling anyone judgemental or manipulative. All I can see from what I've read is a mother venting her frustrations, and others using childish behavior to put her down. Especially those of you posting the "Please give me strength not to punch someone" pictures....really?! I see people talking about how we're all adults, but insulting like we're back in middle school.
I have stood up in many weddings, including being maid of honor for one of my best friends (who did not ask her sister to stand up at all because they don't get along). I also am going to be standing up in my own sister's wedding, though I am not the maid of honor. From my own perspective, yes it did hurt at first. A lot. We are very close. But it is her and her groom's choice. I also know that when things don't go their way, they only have themselves to blame.
There is nothing wrong with giving advice. But there is a much friendlier way you could've done it. I think many of you need to learn to get the whole story before you go ridiculing someone about their feelings.

Peledreamsofrain · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:d83e1d7e-4996-43ce-afda-49137e61f3c2">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel sorry for this Mother of the Bride. She came here to vent some of her feelings and is being electronically jumped for it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; she has her opinions, and you all have yours. There is no reason to be attacking her this way. Clearly, nobody knows the whole situation with this particular wedding, nor do we know the whole situation for anyone elses. We do not know what is even going on with the groom's side of the family...they could be just as bad. We also do not know each other personally, so there is absolutely no reason to be calling anyone judgemental or manipulative. All I can see from what I've read is a mother venting her frustrations, and others using childish behavior to put her down. Especially those of you posting the "Please give me strength not to punch someone" pictures....really?! I see people talking about how we're all adults, but insulting like we're back in middle school. I have stood up in many weddings, including being maid of honor for one of my best friends (who did not ask her sister to stand up at all because they don't get along). I also am going to be standing up in my own sister's wedding, though I am not the maid of honor. From my own perspective, yes it did hurt at first. A lot. We are very close. But it is her and her groom's choice. I also know that when things don't go their way, they only have themselves to blame. There is nothing wrong with giving advice. But there is a much friendlier way you could've done it. I think many of you need to learn to get the whole story before you go ridiculing someone about their feelings.
Posted by Fallingtopieces[/QUOTE]

Hello dmac. You aren't fooling anyone *waves*

Fallingtopieces · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:92aa5eeb-637b-4ada-a8eb-4e1df27dab17">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : Hello dmac. You aren't fooling anyone *waves*
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Wow....seriously? You don't know me. Or her. Or anybody else on here. How dare you accuse me of being somebody I am not and creating a new profile.
I guess I need to resort to the same immature childish method ya'll are using. Grow up and get a life. Pathedic sorry excuses for human beings.
Or I'll just straight up say it: I AM the sister of this bride. And do not speak of my mother that way. You certainly wouldn't like it if someone talked about your mother like that, now would you?

MairePoppy · November 2012

It's nice of you to join The Knot, today, just to stick up for dmac.

Fallingtopieces · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:1d40c111-8502-4a2d-bbfa-2ac81dc3bb9c">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's nice of you to join The Knot, today, just to stick up for dmac.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Why wouldn't I? She is my mother. And I do not appreciate the garbage you people are saying about her. I don't think I was clear enough before: find a nicer way to say things.

zitiqueen · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:a479776c-e1a8-470c-a816-86204b16c832">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : Wow....seriously? You don't know me. Or her. Or anybody else on here. How dare you accuse me of being somebody I am not and creating a new profile. I guess I need to resort to the same immature childish method ya'll are using. Grow up and get a life. Pathedic sorry excuses for human beings. Or I'll just straight up say it: I AM the sister of this bride. And do not speak of my mother that way. You certainly wouldn't like it if someone talked about your mother like that, now would you?
Posted by Fallingtopieces[/QUOTE]

Your mother actually sent you here to fight her battles for her?

Now who's the patheDic one?

zitiqueen · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:87477922-b69a-4120-a998-5601d1e766f5">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : I don't think I was clear enough before: find a nicer way to say things.
Posted by Fallingtopieces[/QUOTE]

<em>Or what?!?!?!</em>

Fallingtopieces · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:0393a0d7-24d1-4ac8-b66e-809e7e3e3e07">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : Your mother actually sent you here to fight her battles for her? Now who's the patheDic one?
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Please. She did not send me here. I am a grown adult and I make my own choices. And I am choosing to stick up for her because she's too nice of a person to say what kind of bitches people are.

theelusive1 · November 2012

haha and someone posted a that it was an enabling family. YA THINK? haha. DRAMA MUCH?
It is so funny her mother can treat others like crap and call names but when someone else does it back then they come out of the woodwork.
Ya wonder why the bride is not falling into this game? Because she is trying her best to break free of these people. She is trying her best to plan HER wedding. She is trying to make her own way in life.
Good for the bride.

GoodLuckBear14 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:a479776c-e1a8-470c-a816-86204b16c832">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : Wow....seriously? You don't know me. Or her. Or anybody else on here. How dare you accuse me of being somebody I am not and creating a new profile. I guess I need to resort to the same immature childish method ya'll are using. Grow up and get a life. Pathedic sorry excuses for human beings. Or I'll just straight up say it: I AM the sister of this bride. And do not speak of my mother that way. You certainly wouldn't like it if someone talked about your mother like that, now would you?
Posted by Fallingtopieces[/QUOTE]

I just read this whole thread and Knotties didn't get defensive until your mother decided to tell all of them that they must not come from close knot families and would be sorry that we have nowhere to turn once bridges have been burned. That was out of line.

ETA - I feel sorry for your sister and wish her the best of luck dealing with you and your mother.

zitiqueen · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-daughters-choice-of-moh-is-driving-me-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:aa25464b-46d1-4866-ab57-3c7c0784f6a7Post:80d90cc1-9541-4a1a-bc90-766764e247e9">Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!! : Please. She did not send me here. I am a grown adult and I make my own choices. And I am choosing to stick up for her because she's too nice of a person to say what kind of bitches people are.
Posted by Fallingtopieces[/QUOTE]

So you just happened to stumble onto the Moms and Maids page of the Knot forums all on your own, with no prodding whatsoever from your mommy, and you just happened to click on her post, notice all the similarites to your sister's wedding and your mother and yourself, and decided all by yourself that your mother is the one who created that post and then took it upon yourself to defend her with absolutely zero input from her?

Yeah, I buy that.

My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

Re: My daughters choice of MOH is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

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