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Work/anti-depressants (this is an AE)
I don't feel comfortable posting this under my real name since its about work. I'll try to keep it short.
Last year I loved my job. I was constantly told I was a great employee, a valuable asset and they wanted to have me help the company grow. Now the company is completely different. We're very short staffed and they decided to just dump everything on me. If I'm not being ignored via email I'm being berated or yelled at for not doing something I knew nothing about. I've requested face to face meetings and I'm ignored there too. I've accepted that they lied to me and they don't care about anything they did a year ago. All of my coworkers feel the same way. Everyone wants out.
I've started looking for another job, but I'm kind of stuck. I'm overqualified for most of what is out there in my field or I'm one year short of meeting the experience vs. education qualification. I'd be okay with being overqualified but everything comes with a 50% pay cut. That's just not possible.
I've met with a counselor for a while now about other things and she mentioned the other day that anti-depressants may be a good idea because of my work situation. I don't know how I feel about that. I didn't realize I could be depressed.
The more I think about it, the more I keep having mixed emotions. Angry that this stupid company could cause it, angry with myself that people out there have it worse with me so I should just shut up and be thankful and then kinda scared because if I am depressed how long has it been, why didn't I notice it, and how much could/would anti-depressants change me.
So if anyone feels comfortable commenting or if you could PM and tell me if there was a a-ha moment to start taking them or how you're different, I'd really appreciate it. Or just anything you can share about them. Also, how did you bring it up to your doctor? "I need a migraine pill refill and oh, btw, how about some anti-depressants" just seems incredibly awkward.
Eh, I guess I failed at keeping it short, huh?
Last year I loved my job. I was constantly told I was a great employee, a valuable asset and they wanted to have me help the company grow. Now the company is completely different. We're very short staffed and they decided to just dump everything on me. If I'm not being ignored via email I'm being berated or yelled at for not doing something I knew nothing about. I've requested face to face meetings and I'm ignored there too. I've accepted that they lied to me and they don't care about anything they did a year ago. All of my coworkers feel the same way. Everyone wants out.
I've started looking for another job, but I'm kind of stuck. I'm overqualified for most of what is out there in my field or I'm one year short of meeting the experience vs. education qualification. I'd be okay with being overqualified but everything comes with a 50% pay cut. That's just not possible.
I've met with a counselor for a while now about other things and she mentioned the other day that anti-depressants may be a good idea because of my work situation. I don't know how I feel about that. I didn't realize I could be depressed.
The more I think about it, the more I keep having mixed emotions. Angry that this stupid company could cause it, angry with myself that people out there have it worse with me so I should just shut up and be thankful and then kinda scared because if I am depressed how long has it been, why didn't I notice it, and how much could/would anti-depressants change me.
So if anyone feels comfortable commenting or if you could PM and tell me if there was a a-ha moment to start taking them or how you're different, I'd really appreciate it. Or just anything you can share about them. Also, how did you bring it up to your doctor? "I need a migraine pill refill and oh, btw, how about some anti-depressants" just seems incredibly awkward.
Eh, I guess I failed at keeping it short, huh?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Work/anti-depressants (this is an AE)
I hope that you start feeling better soon.
I have a job I hate that I'm practically miserable over every day. I've gone home crying. I don't need anti-depressants, I need a new job.
Obviously I'm not you and don't know your situation, but I always choose no medication over medication that I'm not really sure I need. If you feel you need it, however, that is a different ballgame.
Good luck to you!
[QUOTE]Froggie - I just feel blah and less interested in most things overall. I feel like it takes all of my energy to deal with the issues and stress at work that when I get home, I don't have the same interest I used to in things. I know the fact that its winter is probably not helping either.<strong> I've always felt blah in the winter.</strong> Unfortunately, the company is so small that I'm also HR.
Posted by AE2468[/QUOTE]
<div>Have you tried getting one of those sun lamps? If it's something that frequently happens in the winter, it may just be SAD. Those lamps have been shown to help.</div><div>
</div><div>Besides that, I would probably get a referral from the counselor you spoke to for a trained psychiatrist before starting any medication.</div>
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
generic blog link.
Froggie - I did just start looking into a sun lamp this morning actually.
Good luck - it can and will get better!
[QUOTE]Joy - I think thats part of the problem is I have no idea if I actually need them or not. Would a new job make me feel better? Definitely. But is that the only issue? I have no idea. I overanalyze things too much that I could be talking myself out it just because while I have nothing against medications, I'd prefer not to take anything.
Posted by AE2468[/QUOTE]
I can only tell you things from my point of view so take my words with a grain of salt. I hate my job - like full on wish I never had to come here again. I found my feelings leeching into the rest of my life. Couple this with the end of graduate school and all my friends moving away from this city has made me a homebody with my husband. I'm not exactly sad, but I'm not exactly into doing much right now.
My husband and I both want to move. I can't tell you how exciting moving and thinking about rebuilding in a new city with a new job makes me. I know I'm not depressed, I know I'm in a situational disaster. I know that there is something out there that I'm looking forward to and it gives me a great deal of hope that the madness of now will end. Do you have anything like that?
When the counselor brought it up she said "If you constantly feel like you're stuck and your eating/sleeping habits change, you may want to talk to your GP about anti-depressants because you may get so far into the slump of work that even after finding a new job it may take time to get out".
So I know I'm jumping the gun on it, it just got me thinking that it could be more than situational. I do believe I can find a new job, I'll eventually be happier and that it is possible. So now typing that out, it doesn't really sound like I'm all that depressed, maybe just frustrated with work and impatient for change.
[QUOTE]No real anxiety. I'm still sleeping and eating the same as usual. I'm not to the point of dreading coming into work or anything. I've always been slightly anxious but it doesn't feel any more than usual. When the counselor brought it up she said "<strong>If you constantly feel like you're stuck and your eating/sleeping habits change, you may want to talk to your GP about anti-depressants because you may get so far into the slump of work that even after finding a new job it may take time to get out".</strong> So I know I'm jumping the gun on it, it just got me thinking that it could be more than situational. I do believe I can find a new job, I'll eventually be happier and that it is possible. So now typing that out, it doesn't really sound like I'm all that depressed, maybe just frustrated with work and impatient for change.
Posted by AE2468[/QUOTE]
I don't like this statement at all. I think this is a situational problem that can be addressed by lifestyle choices.
Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
As far as the "is it situational or something chemical/deeper" question, my experience is that only time will tell. When I got pregnant, I was terrified that maybe I did really have a chemical imbalance and that the hormonal shift would bring it out. I was terrified that I would have post partum depression since I had already been diagnosed with depression once. I had an agreeement with my mom and my H that if they saw ANYTHING that was off, to intervene and get me some help since I was worried that I wouldn't recognize that I was having trouble. I never did have any problems but I felt SO much better having a plan in place and knowing that people were looking out for me.
I'm very sorry you're in this situation. It sucks.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
Joy - I think you explained pretty much how I'm feeling better than I could. Just talking it out with everyone here makes me think it is more situational than anything else. There isn't something specific I'm looking forward to, but I do believe that it will get better and H and I just stuck in an evil circle of annoying roadblocks at the moment.
Andy - I paraphrased but I see your point. I didn't take it as a 'start drugs NOW' type thing, but kind of a reminder that the option to talk to my doctor is out there if this turns out to be not just situational.
I'm going to just keep looking for new jobs (and applying for ones I don't quite qualify for) and let H know to let me know if I seem any more depressed than usual or if anything else changes. Then I'll bring it up to the counselor and talk to my GP.
Thanks again.
ETA: Just kidding about that whole PM thing. I don't know why I read that everyone was having trouble sending them and thought, not me! No reason not to just post; I feel a little funny because I post so seldomly I thought people would be like, who are you?
Anyway that is all besides the point. I take anti depressants and started when my work situation was God awful and my life felt like it was imploding. I felt very hesitant about starting them so I totally understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you're self-aware enough to know what's going on and I'd imagine you would know if you were clinically depressed. For me, when I started taking them and they kicked in, it was like, oh my God, is this how other people feel all the time? It may be totally different for you.
Not sure if this helps, just wanted to let you know you are certainly not alone! And I wish you lots of luck. It's bound to change, hopefully soon.
Man, posting is fun. Why don't I do this more?
So I'll just give limited info. After some health troubles I found myself in a low... I was upset, wanted to just stay in bed, no energy or motivation to do anything... and ended up going on anti-depressants. My Dr acknowledged that it wouldn't be a long term thing, that I needed councelling and to see what I can do about the situation, that it would help for the time being. It took me 3 anti-depressants (the first 2 made me REALLY sick) to find one that worked. Now I will say, when I found it, the third one really did work and did help. I am still taking it and things are going much better.
If you do find that you are in a position that you feel it is a good move, just make sure that you are working with a doctor that will listen to you. The first dr that gave me the first prescription, when I went back complaining about it making me sick told me to just 'wait it out'. I went to FI's family Dr, who immediately adjusted dosages and then changed medications for me. I have since switched family Drs because it is important to have one that will listen to you when you have a concern.
If PMs ever start working... you're welcome to PM me if you have any questions
That's right, I blog! - The Domestic Soldier
OP, if you don't feel you need medication, that's one thing. But if you think it's something you might like to try, I don't see anything wrong with it. Only you can make that decision. If it is something you'd like to bring up with your doctor, I would just say "I've been seeing a counselor for some job related issues and she's diagnosed me with depression (provided she HAS diagnosed you) and suggested I speak to a medical doctor about trying an anti-depressant."
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
Second, if you do find yourself needing medication, please don't be ashamed by it. Since I've started taking medication, I've found a lot more people have taken it than I realized. Depression and anxiety aren't something to be ashamed of and they're not a weakness. Also, don't focus on the past and worry about why you waited so long. Just focus on the here and now and how they're going to help you in the future. I know when I first started taking AD's, I finally had a clear head and thought "wow, this is what normal people feel like" Yeah, it would have been nice to have the help in my previous years, but the main point was that I wasn't continuing down that cycle.
I do think there is a good possibility that if I were to start taking some type of medication I'd have a "oh thats how people feel" type moment. Or at least less of a blah/glum feeling. Which is probably saying something.
Saying "it doesn't need medication, you just need a new job" is invalidating what could be a very real problem that absolutely could benefit from medication.
J - I really think I needed to read that. I know I'm being wishy-washy on each post, but I keep wondering if it is just situational because I can relate to others who are experiencing the same thing or if it really is more. I started reading more on situational depression and I do have most of the symptoms. I think I'm just good at hiding it. I come from a "shup and deal with it" family. So even to try to explain how I feel is difficult. I don't really know. I know I have been happier than I am now, but looking back on it, I'm not sure that was even happy enough. If that makes any sense.
I guess what it really comes down to is I recognize it's not healthy to feel so blah/uninterested/whatever and I don't want to feel this way anymore. So whether its with medication or not, I want it to go away and I'm hoping it will.
[QUOTE]I don't feel comfortable posting this under my real name since its about work. I'll try to keep it short. Last year I loved my job. I was constantly told I was a great employee, a valuable asset and they wanted to have me help the company grow. Now the company is completely different. We're very short staffed and they decided to just dump everything on me. If I'm not being ignored via email I'm being berated or yelled at for not doing something I knew nothing about. I've requested face to face meetings and I'm ignored there too. I've accepted that they lied to me and they don't care about anything they did a year ago. All of my coworkers feel the same way. Everyone wants out. I've started looking for another job, but I'm kind of stuck. I'm overqualified for most of what is out there in my field or I'm one year short of meeting the experience vs. education qualification. I'd be okay with being overqualified but everything comes with a 50% pay cut. That's just not possible. I've met with a counselor for a while now about other things and she mentioned the other day that anti-depressants may be a good idea because of my work situation. I don't know how I feel about that. I didn't realize I could be depressed. The more I think about it, the more I keep having mixed emotions. Angry that this stupid company could cause it, angry with myself that people out there have it worse with me so I should just shut up and be thankful and then kinda scared because if I am depressed how long has it been, why didn't I notice it, and <strong>how much could/would anti-depressants change me</strong>. So if anyone feels comfortable commenting or if you could PM and tell me if there was a a-ha moment to start taking them or how you're different, I'd really appreciate it. Or just anything you can share about them. Also, how did you bring it up to your doctor? "I need a migraine pill refill and oh, btw, how about some anti-depressants" just seems incredibly awkward. Eh, I guess I failed at keeping it short, huh?
Posted by AE2468[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>They could change your life for the better.</div><div>
</div><div>I was diagnosed with dysthymia a long time ago (longterm to lifelong depression). It was bad. BAD bad. Sleep for days bad. I got on anti-depressants and started a workout routine (it REALLY helps depression), and I turned it around. I haven't had symptoms in years, and that basically means it's gone.</div><div>
</div><div>I stopped taking the anti-depressant a while ago, and was fine--except I started to ache everywhere. It turns out that the anti-depressant was masking fibromyalgia, so I'm back on the anti-depressants for THAT, but not so much for being depressed.</div><div>
</div><div>You've already made the steps. I know working at a job you hate is hard. I did it. MY "ah-ha" moment was when I was laid off, then hired at a company to do something COMPLETELY different (I was a graphic designer--a good one--and I got laid off. Now, I'm a legal proofreader. Again--I'm a good one. I thought I would hate it...but...life happened, and I like it.). So, that was MY ah-ha moment, and it'll be different for everyone.</div><div>
</div><div>If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. It gets better, and you took the first steps. Best of luck.
</div>
Its never easy deciding to take the step to start medication, I had a HARD time with it and fought the idea for quite awhile.... but at the end of the day, when I did decide it was worth taking that step, I felt A LOT better. I went through feelings of being ashamed about it for quite awhile until close friends and family started opening up and admitting they had been on it at times too!
Whether its councelling, or medication, I hope that you're able to decide on something that is going to help make you feel better... you deserve more than just sitting back and continuing to feel that way
ETA My a-ha moment came when I opted to stay in bed, in tears, one day rather than going to see my nieces.. who live a good distance from us and I only get the opportunity to see 3 times a year.... I know how much they mean to me, and if them being around wasn't even reason enough to get me out of bed, I knew something was wrong!
That's right, I blog! - The Domestic Soldier
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
If you'd like to PM me, feel free to do so!
The problem was that my depression started out as situational, like yours may be now, but I put up with it too long and stayed in the situation so long that the depression became a more permanent part of my life that was not situational at all any longer. I did get on antidepressants and it honestly gave me enough energy to be able to leave the situation that was so unhealthy for me. All the studies and professionals say that if you truly are depressed, the combination of medication and therapy is the best route to take. Maybe you need that medication to be able to initially make changes in your life, like I did, but therapy is pretty much always a great thing to do whether or not you choose to try antidepressants.
A couple years ago my job had me so anxious that I was a mess. I have taken antidepressants before but this was different. My doctor gave me a rx for anxiety meds and checked back in with me after a month. I took them often in the beginning, and then found that I needed them less frequently. I now have a standing rx that I use once a month (instead of 3x a day). Most of the time, just knowing I have the option is all it takes to calm me down. I guess what I'm getting at is that meds are a personal decision and you shouldn't be afraid to use them because of what other people think. If you are honest with yourself and your doctor, I think you'll figure out what you need.