What's your...

wingedbride · November 2009

Well, I hope you get hit by another car after your marriage so it can be just as successful.

.rosenjoe · November 2009

Even if you're convinced that the guy you're with at 17 is The One, why not wait, just in case? If it's right then, it will still be right once you've grown up. I met my now-H when I was 18. I had a feeling we'd probably end up together, but it would have been the stupidest thing ever to get married then. We went to college in different states and cultivated who we were as individuals, and our relationship when we married (at 23, so still admittedly quite young) was much stronger for it.

Tell us more about your full time job that broke child labor laws.

noisy_penguin · November 2009

I had almost a full year of college completed by the time I graduated from HS thanks to AP credits. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't do drugs, I didn't do the sex. I've had a job since I was 14. I went to college. I worked 30+ hours per week through college. I decided I liked beer and going out some. I had the sex. I had a steady boyfriend through most of college. I thought we would get married. I grew. My boyfriend grew. Then, shockingly, I realized that the person I'd grown into shouldn't be in a relationship with the person he'd grown into. We broke up shortly after I graduated.

I'm not unique. You're not unique. You haven't been through SO MUCH MORE than anyone else, so much more so that your brain is all done developing 8 years early.

I think you're young. I think you're naive. Maybe you'll be one of the few teenagers that have a successful marriage. But maybe you'll be a statistic. I think it's dumb to ignore that possibility.

CaliopeSpidrman · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:2c7e9ef9-ee87-43b9-8efb-82b13cbcdf15">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE]"I'm not into the whole drinking, smoking, drugs, partying life-style like too many teens are today."
Posted by meghan_marie[/QUOTE]

Perhaps you should wait to get married until after your world view expands enough to realize that your choice isn't to settle down in a marriage or go out drinking and partying.
Or that having college credits while being in high school does not make you more ready to handle the responsibility of marriage.
Or that just because you know a 37 year old irresponsible trainwreck doesn't mean your decision is okay.

Your brain physically isn't finished forming yet. The country doesn't even trust you to vote yet.

Kamikaze3 · November 2009

Buddha, that is fair enough. But based on the young ages of her parents and grandparents it might not have been too long ago. You are right, progress is a good thing.

My sister is my best friend besides my H and she never even had to save my life.

Noisy is very wise. you should listen to her Megan Marie. BTW, how old is your fiance?

ChristinS · November 2009

Megan - just answer this for me. Why not wait? Okay, you feel ready, that's awesome. Good for you. But so what. Why not wait 5 years to get married. You can still be together during that time.

LAW2bLAL · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:872f3676-0e61-441b-88ea-2dce6d44a8b1">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE]Megan - just answer this for me. Why not wait? Okay, you feel ready, that's awesome. Good for you. But so what. Why not wait 5 years to get married. You can still be together during that time.
Posted by ChristinS[/QUOTE]

You can also still "grow together." Unless, of course, you are worried that a piece of paper is the only thing that will keep you together once you are "old." If your relationship has a good foundation now and you want to be together, you can still do that after you have a degree and a job.

Novemberrocks · November 2009

Wha? All I'll say is that I had so SO SO much fun through my late teens/early 20s being single, enjoying drinking and sex (and even perhaps a drug or two).

I also had a great time going away to college, getting my graduate degree, working to support myself, being totally independent and doing what I wanted, when I wanted.

There's so much to be gained from entering into a marriage as a fully formed adult. I am not the same person I was when I was 17, and I think if I had gotten married that young, I would never have become as awesome as I am.

Yeah, I said it - I'm awesome.

meghan_marie · November 2009

Okay. Believe it or not, I did work full-time at 13. I cleaned houses, yes it's a full-time job. When I turned 14 I got a job as a hostess in a restaurant, and put in 40 hours a week. I worked for an arabic that didn't exactly know the law, but I didn't complain. I didn't really care to have a life outside of my job at the time I was going through a lot and I practically disowned my friends, so weekend shifts weren't a problem for me. I don't care if you believe me or not.

And no, I won't be 17 when we tie the knot.

Anyways...
What I was really asking for is YOUR personal definition of marriage. Not how young you think I am. I offered mine, but I want to know what I'm up against when writing my paper. I know that the majority of everybody on here disagrees with my views. Thats kind of the point of me asking what you think.
If you would like you can offer valid argument on why you think it is a good/bad idea for people to marry young.

CaliopeSpidrman · November 2009

I can't think of a single benefit to getting married young.

Kamikaze3 · November 2009

You never said anything about your definition of marriage, at all. You just listed why you thought it was ok to marry young. Your opinions of marrying young are not an actual definition of marriage. Is your assignment to tell your definition of marriage or debate whether or not you believe marrying young is a good choice? They are two different topics and I think you are missing the point of your assignment.

.rosenjoe · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:b65f4499-09c6-4f03-b755-79074131894b">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE]I worked for an arabic
Posted by meghan_marie[/QUOTE]

Lanie. Face. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

LAW2bLAL · November 2009

My definition of marriage involves two adults entering a union together. This is the basis for a family that will love and support eachother throughout life. I don't consider anyone that doesn't support themself a true adult, even if you are 18+.

Besides, don't just bash activities such as going to the bar and drinking. You aren't old enough to legally it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it someday. Also, anyone that has only a boyfriend or spouse and no "other" friends scares me. A well-rounded, mature person should be able to balance work, play and friends.

EvilleLady · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:b65f4499-09c6-4f03-b755-79074131894b">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE] If you would like you can offer valid argument on why you think it is a good/bad idea for people to marry young.
Posted by meghan_marie[/QUOTE]

I believe everyone has offered multiple reasons on why not. You can go to the Child Bride board on reasons FOR getting married so young.

meghan_marie · November 2009

Buddha, that is fair enough. But based on the young ages of her parents and grandparents it might not have been too long ago. You are right, progress is a good thing.

My sister is my best friend besides my H and she never even had to save my life.

Noisy is very wise. you should listen to her Megan Marie. BTW, how old is your fiance?

My grandparents are about to enter their 60's. My mom isn't even 40. My fiance is 19.

Megan - just answer this for me. Why not wait? Okay, you feel ready, that's awesome. Good for you. But so what. Why not wait 5 years to get married. You can still be together during that time.

Statistics have shown (and I'm not talking about today's statistics) that when you marry young you "grow up" together. There is less conflict in marriage because you become more accepting, you've never gone out and done things "on your own", so it's kind of like moving from a house with your parents to a shared dorm. You respect your roommate and y'all have "mutual rules". It's the same here. Versus going out and having your own place where you can do what you want, when you want. Stay out as late as you want and have personal freedom. After you have it all, it won't be as easy to give it up. That's what I'm afraid of, I'm afraid that I'm going to be too stubborn to bend a little when things don't go exactly as I want. This way, I wont have to worry about being set in my ways. Also, kids! I'm not saying I want them now, but I don't want to be 30 and having kids. I want to have the energy to play with my children. All of my grandparents are still alive and three of my great-grandparents are still alive. I love that I have gotten a chance to know 3 generations of my family. I want the same for my kids. I don't want them until after college but I'll only be 22 by then, so that is still very young to have kids.

Back to what I was saying about today's statistics. Too many teens today marry for the wrong reasons. They get married because they want out of their parents house or because they are expecting a baby. That's what gives teenage marriage a bad name. That's why the divorce rates are so high in teenage marriages. My fiance and I have read books, done work books, attended premaritial counceling. He went to my dad for my hand and my dad agreed. My entire family approves. Yes it will be hard, I'm not denying that. But it's all in how you work through your hardships. If you give up, of course your marriage will end in divorce.

meghan_marie · November 2009

I do have friends. My friends got into drugs and alcohol and I didn't approve. I have changed friends since I was 14. Their lifestyles are MUCH healthier.

The point of the assignment is to give your definition of marriage and then base reasons around a "hot topic" around it. My hot topic is teen marriage.

My definition of marriage is a commitment to stay together through good times and bad. To learn from each other and with each other and grow together as one.

meghan_marie · November 2009

My definition of marriage involves two adults entering a union together. This is the basis for a family that will love and support eachother throughout life. I don't consider anyone that doesn't support themself a true adult, even if you are 18+.

I love this definition of marriage.

buddhagouda · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:63ceae56-0718-4379-94da-ebbe23fe072a">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE]There is less conflict in marriage because you become more accepting, you've never gone out and done things "on your own", so it's kind of like moving from a house with your parents to a shared dorm. You respect your roommate and y'all have "mutual rules". It's the same here. Versus going out and having your own place where you can do what you want, when you want. Stay out as late as you want and have personal freedom. After you have it all, it won't be as easy to give it up. [/QUOTE]

<div>Wise words from someone that has never been to college. In my experience, roommate issues were always one of the largest gripes for incoming freshman. It's just not that easy to mesh your life with someone else when you're still a spoiled teenager. </div>

wingedbride · November 2009

Please show me your research you are quoting.

meghan_marie · November 2009

Lindsay, Jeanne Warren. Caring, Commitment and Change. Morning Glory Press, Inc., 1995.

Lindsay, Jeanne Warren. Coping With Reality. Morning Glory Press, Inc., 1995.

Ayer, Elenor H. Teen Marriage. The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc., 1990.

Lindsay, Jeanne Warren. Expectations and Reality. Morning Glory press, Inc., 1996.

I know a lot of people that can't stand their roommates. But the majority of the time they suck it up and come to some sort of compromise and life in a dorm becomes easier at that point.

SarahBethBR · November 2009

Please link us to these statistics. But I see you're not worried about today's statistics. Hey, as long as you're getting married in 1975, good for you.

SarahBethBR · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:d2703cda-9071-464d-8e43-a9e4085fe2a3">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE] I know a lot of people that can't stand their roommates. But the majority of the time they suck it up and come to some sort of compromise and life in a dorm becomes easier at that point.
Posted by meghan_marie[/QUOTE]

I roomed with my high school bff for the first two years of college. We had been best friends for seven years when we started school.

I haven't spoken to her since she moved out of our apartment. I saw her at a restaurant once and she hid from my family. People change. People change a LOT in college. I guarantee you when she was 17, she would have said she wasn't into drugs and would never be arrested for possession two years later.

dothenoodle · November 2009

I got married young and got divorced young. You sound just like I did back then. I didn't drink, I didn't party, I was sooooo much more mature than everyone else.

I wonder how you would feel if everyone was pushing you to get married. I bet suddenly you would have a zillion reasons why you should wait. Not that you are rebellious or anything.

buddhagouda · November 2009

Generally, to have your sources taken as credible they need to be from more than one author. One person can must be crazy. It takes several with similar findings to validate a theory.

CaliopeSpidrman · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:02c060e9-1909-40f4-9526-e8cbdf53d709Post:63ceae56-0718-4379-94da-ebbe23fe072a">Re: What's your...</a>:
[QUOTE]"There is less conflict in marriage because you become more accepting, you've never gone out and done things "on your own", so it's kind of like moving from a house with your parents to a shared dorm. You respect your roommate and y'all have "mutual rules". It's the same here. Versus going out and having your own place where you can do what you want, when you want. Stay out as late as you want and have personal freedom. After you have it all, it won't be as easy to give it up. That's what I'm afraid of, I'm afraid that I'm going to be too stubborn to bend a little when things don't go exactly as I want.
Posted by meghan_marie[/QUOTE]

I am horrified and entertained that you think it's best to become complacent and accepting rather than learn who you are as a person. And that you should never do anything on your own. Because I guess your spouse is never going to die or become disabled, forcing you to have to take care of things yourself. If that isn't setting yourself up for failure, I don't know what is.

And I hate to break it to you, but 30 year olds are not incapable of chasing after kids. My parents may have married at 19, but they didn't start having kids until 31. They had 3 of us, 3 years apart, and they were able to carry us and give us piggyback rides and play with us plenty. But I understand what you're thinking -- I thought the same way when I was a wee young lass.

wingedbride · November 2009

Wait, so most of your research is from one woman, who from a quick google search appears to have absolutely no credentials or research background but does right a lot of books on teen pregnancy and teen marriage. ahhh, ok. I see how well you are going to do in college.

wingedbride · November 2009

And morning glory press, who publishes her books, only publishes books for pregnant teens

noisy_penguin · November 2009

You know what pisses me off about teen marriage? Once you get married you don't have to include your parent's income on your FAFSA. I could have gotten much better financial aid if I didn't have to report my dad's income. But if I'd been all irresponsible and married my boyfriend we'd both have been eligible for all sorts of grants.

I'm not bitter. Not at all. Just a lot.

audreyhorne · November 2009

I'm sorry to learn that I am too old to enjoy playing with my child. What should I do with her Meghan?

BobLoblaw · November 2009

How about this one?

Lehrer, Evelyn L. Age at marriage and marital instability: revisiting the Becker-Landes-Michael hypothesis. Journal of Population Economics; Apr2008, Vol. 21 Issue 2, p463-484

the unions of women who delay entry into marriage are more stable than those of their counterparts who wed in their teens by a wide margin. This age at marriage–divorce connection, coupled with the trend towards delayed marriage, is undoubtedly a major force in the overall decline in the rate of marriage dissolution in the United States since the early 1980s

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