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Catholic Weddings
What to do with the Catholic "gap" between ceremony and reception?
My family is not Catholic but my FI is. We're having a Catholic wedding without a full mass. I am not used to Catholic ceremonies and am unsure with what to do with the gap of time between ceremony and reception.
The church will marry us at 1:00 PM. Our reception location is not set to begin until 5:30 PM - or 4:30 if they allow us to move it earlier. It is 30 minutes away (40 w/traffic) so this will kill some time.
There will probably be a 2 hour gap. FI's family is fine with this (they are used to it being Catholic and local to area) but my family isn't sure what to do since they are all traveling from out of town. We will either invite guests to hotel in between (although this requires a lot of driving), suggest a bar/restaurant for guests to go to... OR look for another church w/later start time.
Anyone else have this issue?
The church will marry us at 1:00 PM. Our reception location is not set to begin until 5:30 PM - or 4:30 if they allow us to move it earlier. It is 30 minutes away (40 w/traffic) so this will kill some time.
There will probably be a 2 hour gap. FI's family is fine with this (they are used to it being Catholic and local to area) but my family isn't sure what to do since they are all traveling from out of town. We will either invite guests to hotel in between (although this requires a lot of driving), suggest a bar/restaurant for guests to go to... OR look for another church w/later start time.
Anyone else have this issue?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What to do with the Catholic "gap" between ceremony and reception?
For my sister's wedding & my best friend's wedding... they both invited people back to the house (parents) in between. Water, pop, sandwhiches, snacks were provided. I know we at really fast, then went and took pictures (or vice versa).
Other weddings I've been to with gaps provide a list of things to do in the area. Favorite restaurant or bar, favorite park. Take a quick nap back at the hotel. etc.
A lot of people go to check into their hotel. I used the Wedding Mapper site. You could use it for your guests and put in locations of interest.
You can provide information in your program, on your wedding website (if you have one) and/or as an insert to your invitations. Also, try to reach as many guests as you can to spread the info.
We chose my parents house because they literally live across the street from the church, so it was not an inconvenience for them to go over there.
It's very common in my circle to have a gap. It's actually expected. You just don't go straight from ceremony to reception here.
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it shoudl be avoided. can your reception venue do a lunch/afternoon reception and you can have your ceremony in the morning?
if you insist on the gap (which is a bride/groom gap, not a catholic gap) you should provide a facility and refreshments for your guests. but they will most likely be very bored and possibly drunk or very full on munchies by the time the reception rolls around and then they wont eat the nice meal you paid for.
you also might get folks who opt to skip the reception altogether or some will skip the ceremony.
[QUOTE]im a lifelong catholic, as is my husband, and neither of us (or our families) have been to a wedding of any denomination with a gap. it shoudl be avoided. can your reception venue do a lunch/afternoon reception and you can have your ceremony in the morning? if you insist on the gap (which is a bride/groom gap, not a catholic gap) you should provide a facility and refreshments for your guests. but they will most likely be very bored and possibly drunk or very full on munchies by the time the reception rolls around and then they wont eat the nice meal you paid for. you also might get folks who opt to skip the reception altogether or some will skip the ceremony.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
Calypso, a gap is not the end of the world. Seriously. The bigger question is if it's common in your social circle or not. Gaps are not black and white.
You know what our friends who didn't go to my parents' house did during the gap? The ran around downtown St. Louis and did their own photoshoot. The pictures are high-larious.
Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
Would this plan be OK?
After the ceremony, there will be a shuttle for OOT family and guests that wish to go back to the hotel. They will have around an hour to relax, freshen up. To those that drive to the wedding, our church is located within walking distance of a cute main street with lots of shops, bars, and restaraunts. I think I will create a map of "Our favorite places" and allow guests to explore for an hour. Then with the 30 minute drive to the venue, this should take up all the time needed.
Thank you all for your responses!
Calypso - I have no choice. Living in a large city, there are many Catholic churches - I contacted over 10 and the latest ceremony available was 1:30 PM. It is safe to assume that in some instances, even though the bride and groom may not prefer it, the gap is unavoidable.
did you inquire as to whether they could marry you in the morning? most churches are happy to do wedding ceremonies at 10 or 11, and then you could have your reception from 12-6pm. ive been to several that are set up this way, and a few opted to have an after party.
if it is because you want the evenign reception, then the gap is a choice that you are consciously choosing to have.
[QUOTE]my point was simply that you shouldnt assume that if your guests are catholic that this is normal to them. becuase clearly, it is not normal for all catholics. Calypso - I have no choice. Living in a large city, there are many Catholic churches - I contacted over 10 and the latest ceremony available was 1:30 PM. It is safe to assume that in some instances, even though the bride and groom may not prefer it, the gap is unavoidable. did you inquire as to whether they could marry you in the morning? most churches are happy to do wedding ceremonies at 10 or 11, and then you could have your reception from 12-6pm. ive been to several that are set up this way, and a few opted to have an after party. if it is because you want the evenign reception, then the gap is a choice that you are consciously choosing to have.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
My point is that you regularly attack gap posts with a sledgehammer and make assumptions about people's guests that may or may not be true (like them being drunk or bored). Multiple people on this board and E have pointed out your absolute and sometimes unfriendly tone with respect to gaps, hence my saying that gaps are not black and white. Some people expect them, some people don't. No, it's not necessarily just a Catholic thing but more of a social circle thing. If your group of friends/family all has lunch receptions, it's what's accepted in your circle. If your group is used to dinner receptions (even if that means a gap as a result of a religious ceremony), then that's what is accepted.
Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
Weddings in my fam are considered huge events, meaning, its not just "an evening out" mentality, but its a whole day that everyone makes appropriate preparations for. It's a little less about the bride and groom and a little more about the opportunity to visit with fam and friends, which I think is great.
My family would have me committed if we had had a morning wedding or a wedding without drinks and dancing. There would also be a large group of friends who wouldn't complain to me but you can be sure they would be complaining to each other!
I've never been to a morning wedding anywhere, the concept if foreign to me
ETA: The gap was not accidental as the latest time the church would allow was 1:30. The venue, a country club in the area, had guest privileges until 4:30. Other parties and weddings are restricted before 5:00 due to club rules.
We made good use of the villas for refreshments during the 90 or so minutes before the venue opened for the cocktail hour (well. hour and a half but who's counting) No one was drunk or starving when the reception started.
[QUOTE]i just think its erroneous to refer to it as a "catholic" gap which some how implies that its the catholic church's problem that you want an evening reception.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
I think that several posters have mentioned that the Church should make wedding times more available for brides & grooms.
4:00 confession and 5:30 Mass still leaves 2 1/2 hours that could be used for weddings. Or even with only two hours extension, there's still time that could be made available & could be used.
My pastor agrees on this, btw.
We had one. Life went on. In fact, not having one would have made things tight.
I actually get more annoyed when I go straight to a reception and the B&G take their sweet time getting their due to pics, etc.
Do your best to make it an "easy" gap for your guests, but leave it at that. I certainly wouldn't choose to have an afternoon reception instead of an evening reception if that is what you want/is expected.
It may be inconvenient for them to have to wait a bit in between, but I think it is worse for an OOT guest to be on their own for a whole evening in a strange city! What's the fun in that?
We lucked out because we found the diamond in the rough church that allows you to start pretty much whenever you'd like to, so we could avoid it.
So, I don't think it's always the case that the bride and groom are forcing a gap just for an evening reception. In fact, my sister is attending a wedding this weekend where the bride and groom purposely booked the reception hall for the afternoon and couldn't get their home parish to do a Saturday morning wedding ceremony, so they are doing their Catholic ceremony on Friday night and then the reception on Saturday. To me, that is more inconvenient for their guests than if they just had the evening reception on Saturday with a couple hour gap in between.
[QUOTE]on a different topic, Riss, I love your shoes.
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
Thanks! I have a shoe addiction, for sure! But I am insane about never paying a lot of money for them.
the church also has to make sure they have times available for funerals and baptisms. weddings arent the only sacrament given at church.
I agree with Jay&Marissa that I actually find it worse when the guests are all waiting for the bridal party to come because the ceremony was right before the reception. One wedding we were sitting there for 2 hours before they came and the appetizers ran out after 15 min sooo nothing but an open bar!