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Some Advice please..

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Re: Some Advice please..

  • sierraberry32sierraberry32 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
     You are going to hear this from almost every girl on this sight "The bridal shower is a gift to the bride" and because of that "logic" you are probably going to get a talking to. 

    Based on the time of her 'disappearance' it sounded as if either your MOH was jealous or actually nervous. I mean when you buy the dress, sh*t gets real! She might have freaked and realized she couldn't handle the stress. All I can give you is, relax. She obviously couldn't handle the idea of being your MOH and you have your own stresses to worry about! Other than that you could talk to her and figure out whats going on and try to help her a bit...
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
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  • LeguLegu member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    List of BM duties is to show up at the wedding sober in the dress you both agreed on, walk the aisle, stand at the front, and smile for pictures. List of MOH duties is to show up at the wedding sober in the dress you both agreed on, walk the aisle, stand at the front, and smile for pictures. That's it. Parties, planning, shopping, are all things that any of these people may choose to do or help with, IF they have the time, budget, inclination. Your MOH is given this extra special title because he,she,they is,are the person,people that you are absolutely closest to. Plenty of people go without bridal showers and bachelorette parties... After saying "I do", they're just as married as anyone else.
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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  • ashbat8ashbat8
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:6614702a-f833-4bc7-acb6-c4d45d6510c2">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is not your MOH's responsibility to give you a bridal shower.  Her duties are simply to show up sober at your ceremony wearing the dress, hold your bouquet while you exchange rings, and smile for the camera.  That's it.  She is not your unpaid wedding planner.  She is not obligated to organize any parties.  She is not supposed to "help you along the way with everything"! Apologize to her immediately!  You acted like an entitled spoiled brat.  My daughter didn't get a bridal shower.  Lots of ladies don't get showers.  Bachelorette parties are optional. What makes you so special?  Shame on you!
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div class="titlearea themebordercolor"> <h1 class="themeheadlinecolor">Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail</h1> <p class="description">Help! What do you do as the maid of honor? Don't worry, we've got your job description down to a science.</p> <p class="credit">Photo: Laura Beals Photography </p> <div class="clear"></div></div> <div class="articletop"> <div class="save"><a href=";" class="SaveToNotebookWithPopup" rel="nofollow"></a><a style="display:none;" href=";" class="SavedNotebookWithPopupLink" rel="nofollow"></a></div> <ul class="sharing shareBar"> <li class="email"><a href="http://sitelife.theknot.com/Sites/TheKnot/SendToAFriend.aspx?a=1&sn=TheKnot&pu=http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx&pt=Maid+of+Honor%3a+Her+Duties+in+Detail&ot=111" class="submodal-430-400"></a></li> <li class="print"><a id="content_0_ctl02_PrintHyperlink" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx?print=1" target="_blank"></a></li> <li class="fblike"> <div id="fb-root" class=" fb_reset"> </div></li></ul></div> <div class="bodycopy bodycopybigger themebox"> <p>The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected:</p> <ul> <li>Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their <a href="http://weddings.theknot.com/weddingdress/bs_main.aspx?gowntype=2"><u><font color="#0066cc">bridesmaid dresses</font></u></a>, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.

    </li> <li>Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).

    </li> <li>Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-colors/choosing-wedding-colors.aspx"><u><font color="#0066cc">choosing the wedding colors</font></u></a> and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-cakes.aspx"><u><font color="#0066cc">wedding cake</font></u></a>.

    </li> <li>Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.

    </li> <li>Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.

    </li> <li>Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/online-wedding-registry.aspx"><u><font color="#0066cc">registry china patterns</font></u></a>, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.


    </li> <li>Host or cohost a <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridal-shower-ideas.aspx"><u><font color="#0066cc">bridal shower</font></u></a> for the bride.

    </li> <li>Attend all prewedding parties.

    </li> <li>Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).

    </li> <li>Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.

    </li> <li>See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.

    </li> <li>Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.

    </li> <li>Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb.

    </li> <li>Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.

    </li> <li>Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.

    </li> <li>Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.

    </li> <li>Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).

    </li> <li>Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.

    </li> <li>Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.

    </li> <li>Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm.

    </li> <li>Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others.

    </li> <li>Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.)

    </li> <li>Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.

    </li> <li>Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.

    </li></ul>
    <p class="author">-- <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/related.aspx?type=author&value=Wendy+Paris"><u><font color="#0066cc">Wendy Paris</font></u></a></p></div>

    Read more: <a style="color:#003399;" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24"><u>Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail – Bridesmaid Mother of the Bride – Bridesmaids</u></a> <a style="color:#003399;" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24"><u>http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24</u></a>

    THIS IS FROM KNOT.COM so i am not a spoiled brat for how i feel!!! My Sis in law was so right there are some rude bitches on this website!!!! THIS OBVIOUSLY STATES MORE THEN JUST SHOWING UP AND SMILING FOR THE PICTURES!!! YOU CHOSE YOUR MOH FOR SOMEONE YOU CAN COUNT ON TO BE THERE FOR YOU ALONG THE WAY!!! THERE IS NO REASON AT ALL TO BE RUDE TO ME!!! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING SO RUDE!!!!!
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  • annieoldfieldannieoldfield member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    DAAAAYYUUUMMMMMM
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Wait, did you have her sign this contract up front? If not, then you have no legal recourse.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    Uhh, yeah.  TK exists to make money.  TK makes more money when it tells you the MOH has "jobs," because then it gets to sell sh!t to you AND your MOH, and it also gets to sell you a bunch of useless sh!t related to your MOH's "jobs" that you otherwise wouldn't think you need.

    Get a flucking grip on yourself, snowflake, and go apologize to your cousin.

    ETA:  And my MOH was my brother.  He planned and participated in zero pre-wedding parties because in his own words "I'm a guy."  I knew that from the start, and I picked him because he's my best friend and I love him.  Do you know who "helped me along the way" as I planned my wedding?  MY FIANCE.  Because, you know, it was his wedding too.  Planning a wedding is not rocket science.  If it's so difficult for you to do it without a helper-minion that you'd consider destroying your relationship with your cousin over her lack of assistance to you with your special princess day, I have no idea how you function in regular life.
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  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:daeb5ddc-ae7e-4208-b74c-44f3a116ec32">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail Help! What do you do as the maid of honor? Don't worry, we've got your job description down to a science. Photo: Laura Beals Photography The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected: Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses , go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties. Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes). Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake . Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered. Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns. Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns , the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening. Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride. Attend all prewedding parties. Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this). Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids. See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary. Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets. Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb. Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception. Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows. Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man. Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead). Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc. Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place. Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm. Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others. Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.) Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor. Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting. -- Wendy Paris Read more: Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail – Bridesmaid Mother of the Bride – Bridesmaids <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24</a> <strong>THIS IS FROM KNOT.COM so i am not a spoiled brat for how i feel!!! My Sis in law was so right there are some rude bitches on this website!!!! THIS OBVIOUSLY STATES MORE THEN JUST SHOWING UP AND SMILING FOR THE PICTURES!!! YOU CHOSE YOUR MOH FOR SOMEONE YOU CAN COUNT ON TO BE THERE FOR YOU ALONG THE WAY!!! THERE IS NO REASON AT ALL TO BE RUDE TO ME!!! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING SO RUDE!!!!!</strong>
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]

    Honey, you do realize that TheKnot is a WEDDING website that is also trying to SELL wedding related stuff? Of course they're going to amp up stuff like that.

    And you're the one calling people B*tches. Pot meet kettle.

    I was going to offer you advice, however after that lovely little tantrum, have fun with whatever issue or issues  you're having.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:daeb5ddc-ae7e-4208-b74c-44f3a116ec32">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]THIS IS FROM KNOT.COM so i am not a spoiled brat for how i feel!!! My Sis in law was so right there are some rude bitches on this website!!!! THIS OBVIOUSLY STATES MORE THEN JUST SHOWING UP AND SMILING FOR THE PICTURES!!! YOU CHOSE YOUR MOH FOR SOMEONE YOU CAN COUNT ON TO BE THERE FOR YOU ALONG THE WAY!!! THERE IS NO REASON AT ALL TO BE RUDE TO ME!!! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING SO RUDE!!!!!
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]

    <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckForumPage=ForumImage&plckPhotoId=75a24767-dc41-48aa-8d6c-634db6c34727&plckRedirectUrl=http%3a%2f%2fforums.theknot.com%2fSites%2ftheknot%2fPages%2fMain.aspx%2fwedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please" title="Click to view a larger photo"><div style="text-align:center;"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/13/75a24767-dc41-48aa-8d6c-634db6c34727.medium.jpg" alt="" /></div></a>

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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    ahstillwell - Can I steal your doggies? Thank you.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:83ae66d3-92b7-489d-93cd-dea25deba706">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : Honey, you do realize that TheKnot is a WEDDING website that is also trying to SELL wedding related stuff? Of course they're going to amp up stuff like that. And you're the one calling people B*tches. Pot meet kettle. I was going to offer you advice, however after that lovely little tantrum, have fun with whatever issue or issues  you're having.
    Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

    WHOA! I agree with the above. I was reading through your thread and was going to give you some helpful advice, but you really let your Bridezilla shine through. Please go have your tantrum somewhere else.
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:43310159-7d9c-4467-a649-09b4a6c304bb">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]ahstillwell - Can I steal your doggies? Thank you.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    I know eh? They are freakin' adorable! Love the siggy photo!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    That list makes me laugh.  If I was to do all that as a MOH I would want payment because you are basically the DOC and the brides therapist.

    OP, you are being ridiculous.  I don't give 2 craps what TK has to say are the "duties" or "jobs" of an MOH.  Like others have said TK is a wedding website out to make money off of brides thus telling them things that their wedding party "has" to do so that they will make even more money.

    The only people that have to be involved in the wedding planning process is the bride and the groom.  Is it fun if your friends volunteer to help with things?  Yes.  But life for your BMs and MOH does not stop because you are getting married.  They have lives, jobs, friends, family, boyfriends/husbands, kids, responsibilities, etc that they should not be expected to neglect because you have decided to throw a party.

    Oh and you choose your MOH based on who you feel the closest with and would like to give the honor of being your MOH, not someone who you can count on to throw you parties or plan your wedding.

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:2be5e01c-c02d-4b8a-962c-942bfd571a0c">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : I know eh? They are freakin' adorable! Love the siggy photo!
    Posted by mrsbiss2be[/QUOTE]

    I dunno if anyone wants these three -- they are SO spoiled!! They're our beloved children though, even if (left to right) Zoe is pretty but very dumb, Freya has an attitude and jealousy problems, and Bellamy is afraid of everything. Here's a picture of Freya, our eleven month old Corgi baby, being cute for good measure:

    <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckForumPage=ForumImage&plckPhotoId=faf80916-f0ec-4f0b-b3d8-d1de693171f8&plckRedirectUrl=http%3a%2f%2fforums.theknot.com%2fSites%2ftheknot%2fPages%2fMain.aspx%2fwedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please" title="Click to view a larger photo"><div style="text-align:center;"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/3/faf80916-f0ec-4f0b-b3d8-d1de693171f8.medium.jpg" alt="" /></div></a>
    SOCKS.

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  • button6004button6004 member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    OP, you are the only rude one here.  Seriously. Your attitude is piss poor.

    PPs are right.  Your MOH has no obligation to help with anything.  My MOH is my 17 year old sister who just started college. Do you think I expect her to plan anything for me? She has a life, too, and it doesnt revolve around my special day. 

    Grow up and take responsibility for how badly you've behaved.  Stop whining and apologize to your cousin.  Because really, is having her do the work for your pretty princess day worth jeopardizing your relationship with someone who is not only your best friend but your family?

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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    OP is gonna be so pissed... my dog actually planned my entire wedding, and he wasn't even in the wedding party:



    Also swear on my life this wasn't staged. I just left the mag open on the floor.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:749ea0f8-9da9-4f4c-aa8a-f69be83e7343">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : I dunno if anyone wants these three -- they are SO spoiled!! They're our beloved children though, even if (left to right) Zoe is pretty but very dumb, Freya has an attitude and jealousy problems, and Bellamy is afraid of everything. Here's a picture of Freya, our eleven month old Corgi baby, being cute for good measure: SOCKS.
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    Oh I would take them in a heartbeat! lol I just wanna *nom* their faces!
    They would blend well with my pup Bella. She's a handful herself. She has a thing for socks too...their constantly disapearing in our house. lol
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:62a47ef2-729d-4f37-a6ee-80043989a32c">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP is gonna be so pissed... my dog actually planned my entire wedding, and he wasn't even in the wedding party: Also swear on my life this wasn't staged. I just left the mag open on the floor.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    Oh man...she's going to be jealous and probably blow a gasket!

    That is so freaking cute! I should get my MOH and Bella together to plan my bachelorette party!
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:f069465b-6ff5-4450-9491-473120d049fe">Re:Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow i didnt realize that as soon as u post stuff i will instantly get attacked guess i missed that in the fine print. my sincere apologies!!! <strong>Nobody attacked you, they simply tried to explain to you that your MOH doesn't have to be your pre-wedding slave, and she really didn't do anything wrong.  </strong>You all act as if i expect her to plan my whole wedding!! <strong>You are the one who indicated all the things she was "supposed" to do.</strong>First off i never said that, but i DO expect to be able to contact her when needed!! So when she wouldnt return my calls/texts that is when i "spoke my mind" which honestly i should not have said that because u All interpreted it as way worse then what it was. None of u know the whole story of this situation! So quick to judge! <strong>The only story we can know is what you chose to share with us on the internet.  If there was something important to the story, it needed to be mentioned by you, as we are not part of your group of friends in your everyday life, nor are most of us mindreaders.</strong> I thought this was a site for brides!! <strong>Correct, future brides, past brides, mothers of brides, etc.  All people who were trying to help with the situation YOU presented to us.</strong> More like a site that attacks brides.. i asked for advise not to be attacked there is a difference... <strong>There most certainly is, I would not want to be attacked. . . especially by a rabid raccoon.  That would be awful, fortunately you are still intact, as nobody attacked you.  </strong>You dont have to have such a rude demeanor when u reply. I was never rude to her u can speak ur mind without being rude... i think u ALL could learn from that!! <strong>I hope this isn't how you "spoke your mind" to her, because it doesn't come across very friendly or nice. </strong>But thanks so much for taking the time to give me your input. <strong>you're most welcome. </strong>I hope you all have a wonderful day.. :D
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:7e09bc95-8e68-49ae-bda0-82f4d67fbdaf">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : Oh I would take them in a heartbeat! lol I just wanna *nom* their faces! They would blend well with my pup Bella. She's a handful herself. She has a thing for socks too...their constantly disapearing in our house. lol
    Posted by mrsbiss2be[/QUOTE]

    The good thing is that Freya just collects them instead of tearing them apart. It also means that I can never forget to wash socks because they fall somewhere besides the hamper -- we just throw them into the living room after we take them off and she makes a prim pile next to my boyfriend's side of the bed. Steal the Freyasocks and we're good.

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  • gurrlballa10gurrlballa10
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:f069465b-6ff5-4450-9491-473120d049fe">Re:Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow i didnt realize that as soon as u post stuff i will instantly get attacked guess i missed that in the fine print. my sincere apologies!!! You all act as if i expect her to plan my whole wedding!! First off i never said that, <strong>but i DO expect to be able to contact her when needed!!</strong> So when she wouldnt return my calls/texts that is when i "spoke my mind" which honestly i should not have said that because u <strong>All interpreted it as way worse then what it was. None of u know the whole story of this situation!</strong> So quick to judge! I thought this was a site for brides!! <strong>More like a site that attacks brides</strong>.. i asked for <strong>advise</strong> not to be attacked there is a difference... You dont have to have such a rude demeanor when u reply. I was never rude to her u can speak ur mind without being rude... i think u ALL could learn from that!! But thanks so much for taking the time to give me your input. I hope you all have a wonderful day.. :D
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]

    1.  What could you possibly need from her?  The only thing she "needs" to do is get the correct dress, show up on time, and more or less sober.

    2.  People can only go off what you give them.  Of course we don't know the whole story.

    3.  No one attacked you.

    4. advice
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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:f069465b-6ff5-4450-9491-473120d049fe">Re:Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow i didnt realize that as soon as u post stuff i will instantly get attacked guess i missed that in the fine print. my sincere apologies!!! You all act as if i expect her to plan my whole wedding!! First off i never said that, but <strong>i DO expect to be able to contact her when needed</strong>!! So when she wouldnt return my calls/texts that is when i "spoke my mind" which honestly i should not have said that because u All interpreted it as way worse then what it was. <strong>None of u know the whole story of this situation</strong>! So quick to judge! I thought this was a site for brides!! More like a site that attacks brides.. i asked for advise not to be attacked there is a difference... You dont have to have such a rude demeanor when u reply. I was never rude to her u can speak ur mind without being rude... i think u ALL could learn from that!! But thanks so much for taking the time to give me your input. I hope you all have a wonderful day.. :D
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]

    She is your cousin, not your wedding slave. If she can't assist, let it go. You chose her because she is closest friend to you, not because she can tie the prettiest bows on your programs and does everything regarding wedding planning with you.

    We only know what you told us, which came of as entitled and selfish.
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:26ec2d6b-002a-4b0e-a26f-b27c12be18ea">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : The good thing is that Freya just collects them instead of tearing them apart. It also means that I can never forget to wash socks because they fall somewhere besides the hamper -- we just throw them into the living room after we take them off and she makes a prim pile next to my boyfriend's side of the bed. Steal the Freyasocks and we're good.
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    Haha. Lucky you.
    Bella takes then, hides them or demands that we play tug of war with the darn socks.
    So in the end we're always buying socks and getting them as gifts. lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    WHY do people delete after they've been quoted??


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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I just love turning a controversial thread into a dog-sharing party.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    OP, you've been qouted. Deleting your postings does nothing for ya except make you look worse. We can still see what was written.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:2b06bf95-7d66-4b98-b72b-4a75b7fd2151">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just love turning a controversial thread into a dog-sharing party.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    Haha...Well our dog sharing party is a tad more interesting than her bridezilla rant!
    Careful though, she might steal your dog and make it a MOH.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • balletdawnballetdawn
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:6614702a-f833-4bc7-acb6-c4d45d6510c2">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is not your MOH's responsibility to give you a bridal shower.  <em>Her duties are simply to show up <strong>sober</strong></em> at your ceremony...
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
    Aw dangit, my MOH totally failed. That's it, I'm calling that beeyatch...
    image
    PLANNING/WEDDING BIO
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:daeb5ddc-ae7e-4208-b74c-44f3a116ec32">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail Help! What do you do as the maid of honor? Don't worry, we've got your job description down to a science. Photo: Laura Beals Photography The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected: Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses , go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties. Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes). Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake . Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered. Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns. Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns , the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening. Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride. Attend all prewedding parties. Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this). Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids. See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary. Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets. Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb. Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception. Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows. Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man. Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead). Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc. Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place. Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm. Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others. Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.) Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor. Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting. -- Wendy Paris Read more: Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail – Bridesmaid Mother of the Bride – Bridesmaids <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail.aspx#ixzz25g9UgC24</a> THIS IS FROM KNOT.COM so i am not a spoiled brat for how i feel!!! My Sis in law was so right there are some rude bitches on this website!!!! THIS OBVIOUSLY STATES MORE THEN JUST SHOWING UP AND SMILING FOR THE PICTURES!!! YOU CHOSE YOUR MOH FOR SOMEONE YOU CAN COUNT ON TO BE THERE FOR YOU ALONG THE WAY!!! THERE IS NO REASON AT ALL TO BE RUDE TO ME!!! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING SO RUDE!!!!!
    Posted by ashbat8[/QUOTE]

    This is total bullshite.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • pinkdocmartenspinkdocmartens
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I agree with those that say a MOH & bridesmaids are more than just someone who is only required to show up to the wedding and get a dress
    If that is all they are required to do why do ppl get so touchy abt replacing them when one drops out!!

    While I truly don't believe they are suppose to do essentially NOTHING, I don't believe they are responsible for everything and need to plan the entire wedding for you.
    In my case my mom and FMIL threw my bridal shower, and my MOH is throwing memy bachelorette party.

    Two of my bridesmaids have been more involved in the wedding planning than my MOH, and I was not really counting on them to help me plan but I would reach out to them and ask for their thoughts on colours, styles, etc

    Anyways - in your case, I think if anything you should have given your MOH more time. My wedding is just a week before yours and my bridal shower was on the 1st and my bachelortte party is this weekend. So personally, July area would have been too early for your parties if you ask me. Does not take THAT much time to plan them....
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_some-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e3b1b360-c501-41b7-bf47-f6f53105c5cdPost:c39968f6-da54-48a5-a20f-27d58f0ac503">Re: Some Advice please..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Advice please.. : Haha...Well our dog sharing party is a tad more interesting than her bridezilla rant! Careful though, she might steal your dog and make it a MOH.
    Posted by mrsbiss2be[/QUOTE]

    Dog discussions are always much better than rants.

    I know you all just want our one-eared Corgi munchkin. It's understandable.

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