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Wedding Etiquette Forum
hockeywithadiamond
member
Fair warning to newbies
Just FYI, if you ask a question here, don't expect it to be answered politely. Everyone here seems so focused on not being rude, yet they are very rude in their responses.
They'll accuse your ideas as being rude, make assumptions that you're a selfish bride, and tell you to elope because your ideas are different.
I came here asking a simple question and instead was torn apart on a completely different part and my question was only adressed by one poster.
So just be aware, this is really a school play ground with the "it" girls who go around and bully others who come here for advice.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Fair warning to newbies
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
People aren't going to validate ideas that are clearly rude and against etiquette. We are trying to deter you from robbing the bank.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Also, this is not some resource that brides are OBLIGATED to go to for wedding info. It's a website. Anyone can get a membership with 30 seconds and zero dollars. If you don't like it, don't go here. And don't keep coming back if it's only making you mad... logic there is somewhat flawed.
People bereate everyone whose opinions are different than theirs. Would I ever have a backyard BBQ wedding? Heck no, but that doesn't make it stupid.
Everyone on this board thinks they are right b/c that is the "proper etiquette". The proper etiquette in books don't apply to every wedding. Every wedding is different. Some traditions in one region of the country might be far different than another one in another region. Dollar dances go over horribly in northeast. It could be a staple at every wedding in the south.
I am not rude for not opening gifts at my shower. I am entitled to feel how I feel in regards to people opening them up and not opening them up. Do I think it is rude to open gifts at a shower, yes I do, but instead of listening to my reasons behind it (which are valid), I get attacked for no reason. Maybe you don't mind watching people open gifts that you aren't getting- many many people loathe it NOT just me. I am doing a respectful thing by actually spending time talking to my guests @ my shower than wasting an hour open their gifts, which are material. Company of people is more important than any material gift in this world.
Just b/c it's not what YOU believe or the etiquette books believe, doesn't make it wrong.
I agree OP. Most people are pretty rude.
Maybe you were busy doing this for entertainment instead
[QUOTE]People bereate everyone whose opinions are different than theirs. Would I ever have a backyard BBQ wedding? Heck no, but that doesn't make it stupid. Everyone on this board thinks they are right b/c that is the "proper etiquette". The proper etiquette in books don't apply to every wedding. Every wedding is different. Some traditions in one region of the country might be far different than another one in another region. Dollar dances go over horribly in northeast. It could be a staple at every wedding in the south. I am not rude for not opening gifts at my shower. I am entitled to feel how I feel in regards to people opening them up and not opening them up. Do I think it is rude to open gifts at a shower, yes I do, but instead of listening to my reasons behind it (which are valid), I get attacked for no reason. Maybe you don't mind watching people open gifts that you aren't getting- many many people loathe it NOT just me. I am doing a respectful thing by actually spending time talking to my guests @ my shower than wasting an hour open their gifts, which are material. Company of people is more important than any material gift in this world. Just b/c it's not what YOU believe or the etiquette books believe, doesn't make it wrong. I agree OP. Most people are pretty rude.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
I have never seen anyone say a backyard bbq wedding is rude or tacky. Quite the opposite. People encourage couples do do a backyard bbq instead of going into debt for their wedding, or hosting something and asking their guests to pay for it.
The only time I see regs getting "rude" is when the OP goes batshitcrazypants. People here are blunt and honest, and will not co-sign a bad idea, but that doesn't equal rude. Most of the time, rudeness happens when the OP doesn't get their idea validated, and they get all pissy and talk about their special day, and their horrible idea is ok, because that's what is common in their circles, etc.
I do agree with you that geography can make a difference on what is considered culturally acceptable. But, just because something is normal in a certain crowd, doesn't make it less rude or ok by etiquette standards. </div>
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
[QUOTE]I'm not attention-poaching or anything, but I noticed that this topic originated<strong> just a few minutes after I offered myself as a newb,</strong>
Posted by lisabeats[/QUOTE]
<div>This cracked me up. Will you be my pet newb, Lisa?</div>
[QUOTE]People bereate everyone whose opinions are different than theirs. Would I ever have a backyard BBQ wedding? Heck no, but that doesn't make it stupid. Everyone on this board thinks they are right b/c that is the "proper etiquette". The proper etiquette in books don't apply to every wedding. Every wedding is different. Some traditions in one region of the country might be far different than another one in another region. Dollar dances go over horribly in northeast. It could be a staple at every wedding in the south. I am not rude for not opening gifts at my shower. I am entitled to feel how I feel in regards to people opening them up and not opening them up. Do I think it is rude to open gifts at a shower, yes I do, but instead of listening to my reasons behind it (which are valid), I get attacked for no reason. Maybe you don't mind watching people open gifts that you aren't getting- many many people loathe it NOT just me. I am doing a respectful thing by actually spending time talking to my guests @ my shower than wasting an hour open their gifts, which are material. Company of people is more important than any material gift in this world. Just b/c it's not what YOU believe or the etiquette books believe, doesn't make it wrong. I agree OP. Most people are pretty rude.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
Who doesn't open gifts at showers? I have never seen this called rude here are anywhere else.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fair warning to newbies : This cracked me up. Will you be my pet newb, Lisa?
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
It would be an honor!!
But please make sure to be snarky and unhelpful as usual, that way I'll be able to be ungrateful and rude myself too. How else would I learn?!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fair warning to newbies : Who doesn't open gifts at showers? I have never seen this called rude here are anywhere else.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
<div>Owningahome is the only person, ever, who thinks this is rude. She apparently can't handle when people are given gifts and she isn't, so she wouldn't want her equally immature guests to feel the same way.</div><div>
</div><div>I do think it's pretty funny that she's in no way refusing gifts or not having a shower since she sees these gifts as so rude...</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fair warning to newbies : It would be an honor!! But please make sure to be snarky and unhelpful as usual, that way I'll be able to be ungrateful and rude myself too. How else would I learn?!
Posted by lisabeats[/QUOTE]
<div>Lisa, I must first browse through all your posts to make sure I haven't taken on a crazypants. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>
Yeah. I lost it on her in the bridal shower thread. Kind of feel bad. But I was fuming.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
June 2012 Bride!
Thanks. That makes me feel better. I just really don't understand how you can have 900 posts and hate it here.