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Grooms sisters as BMs?

Myles+TamiMyles+Tami member
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
Am I required to have FI's 2 sisters in my wedding party?

I have a lot of girlfriends that I would love to have as my BMs, but I don't want to hurt my future SILs feelings by not asking them to be bridesmaids.

Also, one of FI's sisters refuses to smile in pictures.

I don't know if they're expecting to be asked, or if they even care at all. I'm not sure what to do!

Thanks!
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Re: Grooms sisters as BMs?

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No, you are not required to have FSILs in your WP. You get to choose who stands up for you on your side. If your FI really wants them in the wedding he could have them stand on his side.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_grooms-sisters-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c2e88ec3-a37a-4ba0-ab8c-0ed766eb3f19Post:54fd791d-ef86-4832-b523-df6ec70dfe9a">Grooms sisters as BMs?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Am I required to have FI's 2 sisters in my wedding party? I have a lot of girlfriends that I would love to have as my BMs, but I don't want to hurt my future SILs feelings by not asking them to be bridesmaids. <em><strong>Also, one of FI's sisters refuses to smile in pictures.</strong></em> I don't know if they're expecting to be asked, or if they even care at all. I'm not sure what to do! Thanks!
    Posted by Myles+Tami[/QUOTE]

    No you're not.  It's a nice gesture, especially when they're going to be your family for a long, long, long time.

    In some families, it IS expected that siblings will be members of the WP.  And if that's the case with your FI's family, then remember that he can always ask his sisters to stand on his side if he wants them in the wedding.

    WPs are NOT about symmetry or gender anymore, and increasing number of WPs have uneven sides, and sisters standing with brothers.....brothers standing with sisters.......male friends on the bride's side, and female friends on the groom's side.

    And please don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever say in public that you don't want your FSIL in your WP because it will affect the pictures of the wedding.  That makes you sound incredibly shallow and dare I say, silly?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Myles+TamiMyles+Tami member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Shallow, silly, selfish, bridezilla-esque. I know. I never thought I would be one of those brides!!! You're right. I would rather include them than take the chance that someone's feelings would be hurt.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Trix is so smart. I'm glad you're listening to her.
                       
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  • stacy&tigestacy&tige
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you've become friends with them over the time your FI and you have been together and you really want them to stand with you, then by all means ask them. However if your only reason for asking them is to avoid the possibility of hurt feelings, I wouldn't ask them. You should have the people you really want to stand with you on that day. They may not be expecting you to even ask, especially if you aren't particularly close to them yourself. I think a lot of people realize that you WP should be made up of those who are nearest and dearest to you. If you FI wants them involved maybe they can stand on his side, or do a reading.

    Trix is correct...there are no rules for WPs anymore...do what will make you and your FI happiest on that day.
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  • JenO24JenO24 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It is a very nice gesture, but not required.
    My fiance has one sibling and its a sister.  Her and I haven't ever not gotten along, but we've never been really close.  So I did not plan on having her stand up for me, but when I started having issues witht he MOH I had choses (she had to gracefully step out) I didnt know what I was going to do.  My other bridesmaides were out of town cousins.  My fiances sister and I had started to get closer and thought what better way to make us closer than to ask her to step in as my new MOH.  Let me tell you, she is not girly but not manly either lol but she jumped right in w/ just enough gusto.  We went dress stopping right away and got her dress ordered...offering to help w/ whatever...not stepping over any boundaries.  She was just happy to help.  Over the past few months we've gotten a lot closer and I know I made the right decision in having her step in.

    I know my case isn't the rule, its the exception.  If you feel confortable including them them I'm sure they would be very touched by your offer, but if you're not comfortable with them standing up for you then thats your decision to make and no on elses.  Whatever you decided will be the right choice for you.  Best of luck! :)
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