MOH is Underage

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I really want to include my little sister in all of my bridal activities including my bachelorette party. The thing is-- I (and my other BMs) would like to go "out" and my little sister will be just under 18. She is also my MOH so I can't NOT have her at my BP. Is it okay to have 2 BPs? Maybe one out and one say-- at a friend's house? I haven't talked to her about this, but she has mentioned to me that she'll be ALMOST 18 and she's wondering how it's going to work out. (Frankly it would bug me if I were so close to being 18.) If I could break the rules for her I would get her into a club, but clearly that's impossible. What to do?

mbcdefg · August 2010

Let the BMs work this out amongst themselves. It's not up to you how many bachelorettes you will have.

If someone other than your sister asks what you want to do for a bachelorette, then mention that you want your sister included. And they will arrange something around that.

ETA: As far as ideas on what to do, my bachelorette was dinner and then a comedy club, and some of us went to a bar afterward.

HisCB · August 2010

she can be a big part of your shower. or plan a bparty that doesnt include going out anywhere.

also you can plan a girls night out after the wedding where she can be involved, maybe throw an awesome 18th bday party for her as a thank you for being my MOH kind of thing.

jagore08 · August 2010

When is your bach. party? You have over a year before your wedding.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I'm aware I have over a year before the wedding... I can't think about it now? She has... I don't think that makes a difference. I have a question, I post it, no big deal.

bananapudding91 · August 2010

Honestly, I don't think there was a logical reason to get snappy. She was just curious. (:

But, anyway, I think you should do what HisCB said. Try to work around her, if you want her to be a part of it so badly (which is completely understandable). Try to do something at home rather than go out where she is legally unable to go. Make her a big part of the shower. Or, if you insist on going out, throw her a big 18 bash. There are a lot of ways to deal with this. And you have quite some time to figure it out.

It'll all work out in the end.

Good luck!

gottahavashorti · August 2010

Leave it up to whoever decides to host the bachelorette party, if there is one.

If they ask for ideas, things that could include your sister include wine tasting (unless liquor licenses in your area don't allow under 21 on the property, our underage siblings have been given crackers, pretzels and water at wine tastings), spa day, dinner at a restaurant that has a bar, party at someone's home.

jagore08 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-underage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:54bdd69a-bb74-4345-8170-2f4965a7b617Post:8f1f8663-7792-4499-be5a-c7db2f1048cf">Re: MOH is Underage</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm aware I have over a year before the wedding... I can't think about it now? She has... I don't think that makes a difference. I have a question, I post it, no big deal.
Posted by BDoug713[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow. Calm down, there. I was only asking because a lot of ladies plan their bach. party for well before the wedding. And I thought maybe yours was like that. No need to jump to conclusions. </div>

awick14 · August 2010

My FI is having my younger brother in his wedding party. My brother will be 18 as well (but I am in Canada so 19 is the legal age) so by FI has mentioned to his BM that if there is to be a BP then he would at least like to go out to dinner or boweling or something so my brother can join in with that and then they can go out or whatever they want. (the BM already brought this up to my FI when he found out my brother would be under age at the wedding) I think that this is a reasonable option and so did my brother.

emilykathleen511 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-underage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:54bdd69a-bb74-4345-8170-2f4965a7b617Post:82a712d5-86ce-48e8-b75a-4d17d57e9480">Re: MOH is Underage</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is having my younger brother in his wedding party. My brother will be 18 as well (but I am in Canada so 19 is the legal age) so by FI has mentioned to his BM that if there is to be a BP then he would at least like to go out to dinner or boweling or something so my brother can join in with that and then they can go out or whatever they want. (the BM already brought this up to my FI when he found out my brother would be under age at the wedding) I think that this is a reasonable option and so did my brother.
Posted by awick14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ummm...I don't <em>usually</em> don't point out spelling, usage, and grammar mistakes, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you meant "bowling" and not "boweling." There is a BIG difference.</div>

trix1223 · August 2010

IMO-you can go "out" ( as you put it), anytime. You will get one B-party with your MOH who is also your sister. I say sharing the experience with sister trumps "out" anytime.

A b-party doesn't have to be a booze fest. Go to a concert. Go to an amusement park. Go to a sporting event. Have an in home slumber party and watch chick flicks and eat junk food. Go to a spa for a day of pampering. My DD went to Medieval Times follow by Dave and Busters.

There are plenty of ways to have a great party that includes your sister. Only you can decide if a bar crawl is worth excluding your sister.

CTGirl30 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-underage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:54bdd69a-bb74-4345-8170-2f4965a7b617Post:683c03ac-e5c0-49f6-a9e7-877f00ad4ee2">Re: MOH is Underage</a>:
[QUOTE]Let the BMs work this out amongst themselves. It's not up to you how many bachelorettes you will have. If someone other than your sister asks what you want to do for a bachelorette, then mention that you want your sister included. And they will arrange something around that.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

This.

And if they do ask you for potential ideas, you can mention any that Trix mentioned. I personally love the idea of a spa day. There the focus isn't on ages or who can or can't get into what - everyone goes for a day of pampering and enjoy a nice lunch and the TIME together. <strong>But</strong> it's ultimately up to your BMs what kind of Bach Event they are willing and able to put on for you, if they do one at all so it's really up to them to figure it out. But since your wedding isn't for quite awhile you probably won't have to really worry about this for another year or so.

KevinMegan1008 · August 2010

I have to agree with alot of the PP's. There are a lot of places you can go (even those that can include drinking if you want it your party to include booze) Go to a bar/restaurant that your sister can go to. Then you guys can eat and whoever wants to drink still can and your sister won't have to miss out. Or have a bbq at one of the BM's houses. I think the reason why someone was pointing out that your wedding is about a year away is because if she will be 18 before your wedding you should wait till then. But being 18 really only gets you into clubs (most bars are still 21) so I would just avoid clubs which may be better off anyway. I know a lot of people who are NOT comfortable in clubs.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

My sister was actually underage for her own wedding (just a couple of months shy of 21). Her girls were all a bit scattered, so they all came out here to California. They spent a couple of days at Disneyland (my contribution toward the planning of the party was getting them into the park for free) and we all went and saw Wicked. Everyone had a blast, no booze in sight.

eandringa · August 2010

When I was in my SIL wedding party we went bowling in which there was drinking for the ones of age. She had approx. 4 minors though (under 21)

emilyinchile · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-underage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:54bdd69a-bb74-4345-8170-2f4965a7b617Post:8f1f8663-7792-4499-be5a-c7db2f1048cf">Re: MOH is Underage</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm aware I have over a year before the wedding... I can't think about it now? She has... I don't think that makes a difference. I have a question, I post it, no big deal.
Posted by BDoug713[/QUOTE]

Well technically you shouldn't be thinking about it ever because it's up to your BMs to plan.

And you would not be the first person to come to this board and say "I just got engaged, so now I want to let my BMs know about my bachelorette party," which is in appropriate and over-eager of the bride, so it's a legitimate question so that we can know whether it might be helpful to suggest you slow down a little.

HisCB · August 2010

regardless if it is her job to plan the bparty, i think its great that she is thinking of ideas for how to include her moh. i agree that op has plenty of time to not worry about things. and yes it isnt her job to plan it, but likley, the people who plan it will ask her what she wants.
my cousins did, even before i picked a wp, they insisted on planning it and asked me what i wanted. then i got pregnant, so we are changing the plans, because i wont be drinking, and 2 of my bms are underaged, so we will have a fun shower with everyone, a spa day for just the wp and a party for the of age ladies.

whalen_sa · August 2010

When I was 16 my sisters and I were in a wedding for the girl who babysat us growing up. She was like our big sister. Because we were all in the wedding party but unable to go out with the rest of the girls we hosted a BBQ dinner at our dads house and then they all went out on the town for the night. it was like 2 BP in one night!

superjules916 · August 2010

My MOH will be 17 and 9 months at my wedding. (also my baby sister) We've discussed the options and she was more than comfortable with a dinner followed by my 18 plus (who are actually all 21+ as well) taking me out from there. I think it makes perfect sense and that way she is included on the same day and everything. We are both happy with that idea.

I know that the bride should be hands off on these types of things but she wasn't sure how to give me the bachelorette party she thought I might want.

deb84 · August 2010

I agree that you should do sometihng where little sis can be included, but if you have your heart set on having a bar crawl then I suggest you have a "sister's day" before the wedding also. Go to the spa, go shopping, go out to a nice dinner and movie or just rent movies and spend an evening at home watching movies, eating popcorn and gossiping. Whatever it is that both enjoy. Whatever you do make sure to discuss it with her and make sure she is okay with it before you decide and make plans. You do not want to hurt her feelings or make her feel left out.

I also have to agree with some of the pervious post....it is far to early to be worrying about this.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

Well, I'm not worrying, I'm just posting. lol But thanks for all the input ladies, you've given my brain a lot of comforting thoughts. I never really knew the "etiquette" of who took care of the BP, but my MOH sister was the one who got me thinking about it. So I thought I would ask the experts. I'm not stressing or anything. But I'll definitely just let it go for now. Thanks

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