This past weekend, my Mom, FMIL and I took DD to pick out her Flower Girl Dress for our wedding in June. We made a big fuss over her because we want all of the kids to feel special and involved with the wedding, as it's not just about FI and myself, but our family. DD found a beautiful dress at David's Bridal, the staff did great and allowed her to ring the bell and get cheers as she said 'Yes to her Dress'. It was very exciting and she was thrilled.
FMIL took a little cell phone video of the moment and posted it on FB, tagging me. I'm so glad she did, it's darling and the look on DD's face is priceless. Huge smiles! I am FB friends with my exH's fiancee, and many of his family members too. There were some very nice comments on the video, and the exH's family has been largely supportive of our new relationships as they know it's best for the kids. I'm very lucky in that respect.
DD spent the last 2 days at exH's house and when she came back home last night, I asked her what exH's Fiancee and her Step-Sisters thought of her dress. She said, "The girls thought it was very pretty, but Fiancee said it was 'Silly and Ridiculous'!' Silly and ridiculous? I simply cannot wrap my mind around why any adult would say something so negative to a 5 year old little girl who is obviously so excited. DD seems to be ok, she's taking it in stride, but I'm not sure how to handle this.
The children will come home and mention negative and derrogatory things that are said by exH and his Fiancee from time to time. Most of the comments have been about the wedding, money, and occasionally, negative things about FI or myself. I don't really care what they say about me, but now they've hurt DD. What is to gain by saying something like this to a child? I sincerely do not understand what her mindset is.
How do I handle this? FI thinks I should just let it go, but I'm wondering if a simple 'If you don't have anything nice to say...' conversation is long overdue. FI and I are careful not to say a bad word about exH and his Fiancee, as he is their Father, and she is there soon-to-be-stepmother and we are trying to foster a relationship of respect and cooperation with them. I know I cannot control what is said in that house and that they live very differently from us, but I am not prepared for my DD to be hurt by callous and unfeeling remarks. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.