Is this unreasonable of me?

LessThanZero · November 2010

Yeah. You're completely validated.

I would absolutely be pissed off about the fact that he accepted the firiendship and more so that he doesn't just delete her because it makes you uncomfortable.

I would calmly explain that it bothers you a lot, and no matter how silly he thinks that is that you would appreciate it if he could cease contact with her. Maybe also present him with an example of the shoe being on the other foot - so he can consider how he would feel if you were doing the same thing. Sometimes people just need to put things in perspective.

JenGin74 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_this-unreasonable-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03b21121-631b-4388-81a9-bb814ab0fdb1Post:2361eda6-31c6-4fcc-9901-fbe783ba7756">Re: Is this unreasonable of me?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm on your side. He's getting something out of it - a little thrill, maybe, or an ego boost. It's not very nice of him to keep doing that if it bugs you so much. I mean, I get that a little flirtation and a little ego boost from female attention is natural and nothing to get worked up about, but this situation is different from that, given their history.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I agree with this 100%

leayn · November 2010

FI ex used to constantly text him. He would show them to me sometimes...they were really pathetic. I got sick of it, and started texting her back horrible things from his phone. It all came to a head when we were together at a party....she disappeared after that. Apparently I can be very scary.

Anyway, FI nor I are friends with anyone we used to date. I don't see the need for it and neither does he. I don't make new "guy friends" either. I just think there is no need to even open the door for trouble, KWIM?

HobokensFury · November 2010

I totally get you. Although not the same FI was still FB friends with his ex when we started dating. She would write all over his wall and talk trash about me. She then tried to friend me! When I rejected she sent me all kinds of messages. So I blocked her from my FB and when FI left his computer on I went on his account deleted her and blocked her. I know it seems silly but she really pissed me off.

laurenclaire1386 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_this-unreasonable-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03b21121-631b-4388-81a9-bb814ab0fdb1Post:a6850e25-3454-42c2-864c-3927e64c2062">Re: Is this unreasonable of me?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this unreasonable of me? : I'm on Mara's side here, but getting on his Facebook and deleting her is not going to fix the problem. That makes her look like a BSC jealous wife. They need to have a talk about it and her H needs to be the one to hit the delete friend button.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
This. FI and I don't share our passwords to anything. I can't get into his email, FB, or anything that's private for him. And he can't get into mine.

Chi_Chi · November 2010

I would give him the chance to do it himself but Ill be damned if I sat back and let all this continue. But J and I know each others passwords to everything so its not like I would have to hack into his account to do it. I guess I dont see it as being BSC when it comes to someone my H/FI considers a stalker.

maratea · November 2010

Well he deleted her. Only after I asked him several times and explained why it was uncomfortable. Then he told me I was nagging him. JesusChrist.

LessThanZero · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_this-unreasonable-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03b21121-631b-4388-81a9-bb814ab0fdb1Post:5a88db3f-fd62-443d-a6cb-6eef0c47bd2c">Re: Is this unreasonable of me?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well he deleted her. Only after I asked him several times and explained why it was uncomfortable. <strong>Then he told me I was nagging him.</strong> JesusChrist.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I hate that so much.

I wouldn't FVCKING be nagging you if I didn't have to say it eleventy billion times before you actually listened.

Jesus Rollerblading Christ, that drives me crazy.

jemmini6 · November 2010

Regardless of if he thinks it's harmless or not, you are his wife and he needs to respect that this makes you uncomfortable. Especially when that type of history is involved. I think you need to have another chat with him...

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_this-unreasonable-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03b21121-631b-4388-81a9-bb814ab0fdb1Post:4d3cf506-3c99-49fd-8bc8-466a9d4cc4b9">Re: Is this unreasonable of me?</a>:
[QUOTE]Regardless of if he thinks it's harmless or not, you are his wife and he needs to respect that this makes you uncomfortable. Especially when that type of history is involved. <strong>I think you need to have another chat with him...</strong>
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

This.

If it's not a "big deal" then why does he put up such a fight about it?

kimheartsscott · November 2010

Dude, your H is being a jackass. Have you asked him WHY he feels the need to be friends with her?

I agree with OWN about him getting something out of this and I think Celles' scenario is sounding very plausible.

Chi_Chi · November 2010

Im glad he deleted her, but I think bringing it up again would be a bad idea. If he thinks shes nagging now, what is he going to think when she keeps bringing it up after he did what she wanted? If stalker rears her BSC head again, then yeah, its time to cutta bitch, but I would let it go for now.

Angrytomato · November 2010

If he asks what the big deal is about being friends with her, just say "Oh I don't know, let's ask the cat. OH WAIT."

Ghoti · November 2010

I'll validate you Mara!

dawnie204 · November 2010

I would be extremely suspicous. Having a jaded mind, I can't help but go there. It just seems so strange. He let her keep his pet because he didn't want to "deal with it". He thinks she's "no big deal". Well, if she isn't a big deal, he needs to unfriend her. It sounds like he might not have been completely honest with you. Who just lets someone keep their pet? Who becomes friends with someone previously referred to as their "stalker". Seriously, squash this before it becomes a bigger problem than it already is.

Just read that he deleted her. If you have any animals, make sure they are under lock and key.

Is this unreasonable of me?

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