Wedding peeves

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:d8cf06dc-0935-47eb-979e-3bf868cafbef">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I would take a guess that many of your gifts ended up at goodwill since they were unreturnable. I got a bunch of gifts at our engagement party (clearly I hadn't registered yet) and I think I only kept 2 out of probably 10.
Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

Actually I am fighting the whole gift thing. We don't want or need any gifts.

AddieCake · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:4c095a08-8753-4d6a-aede-59dedccc2e0c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : No, No! All the weddings I have attended, I have know the couple very well. I usually get the couple a picture frame from Tiffany's (no one registers at Tiffany's), and get it engraved with their names and wedding date. It is NOT a mean or crappy thing. I wouldn't do that!
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

OK, that I can live with.

harper0813 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:c2a383c9-0baa-46e5-a53b-97e225253fb0">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Yeah I am trying to ban this. But my fiance has a HUGE polish family and apparently the music is some form of polka so I think I'm going to lose. LOL.
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

<div>Amen to Addie on the Chicken Dance. SJM, can you compromise and just play an actual polka? In Wisco, it's practically illegal not to play polka at a wedding (but I love it - people go out and dance like fools, and it gets everyone moving). Then you don't have to play this gem. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm banning the Chicken Dance, Hokey Pokey and the Macarena. FI's pretty irked, but I don't care. He has a whole slew of other group dances he can have played.</div>

bunni727 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:5b91d825-f8b9-4eb1-b125-d414fe7d3be3">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Regarding PAs... I would be so embarrassed! Like all the other girls are so good enough to be bridesmaids with bouquets, and I get the consolation prize of getting ready with you and wearing a corsage? No thanks.</strong> What a sh!tty thing to do to a friend. This goes along with "guestbook attendant" which I also had never heard of before TK. What's with all these crappy "jobs" for your friends!? edit: for clarity
Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]

I hope you don't think I should be embarassed.

I didn't realize PAs were a thing, as this was well before I joined TK. It (or Honor Attendant or something) was a made up title that the bride and I came up with together because my agoraphobia was not under control at the time of her wedding, and there was no way i could have stood up front as a BM. It didn't occur to us that we could just call me a BM anyway.

I agree PAs in TK world are terrible awful positions given to second rate friends. That was not the case with me.

Jager1219 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:8a42668a-ece8-47e5-ba9e-fe55b5308d56">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Actually I am fighting the whole gift thing. We don't want or need any gifts.
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]
That's great that you don't. But people are probably going to give you a gift anyways. So wouldn't you rather it be something that you want/need/can return for something that you want/need rather than something that you have no use for and can't return?

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:e7a4d0d1-7453-4707-8d23-00c1ab1e008d">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Except that if they don't WANT an engraved Tiffany's picture frame it's a very mean thing to do. It's also a huge waste of your money. Nothing irritates me more than people who give gifts based on what they think the receiver SHOULD want rather than actually considering what the receiver really DOES want. It's selfish and honestly defeats the purpose of giving a gift in the first place.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Like I said all the wedding's I have been to have been of people I know very well. I have never had anyone say anything negative, and each and every gift has ended up with the couples favorite wedding picture in it. I am not a mean or hateful or cruel person. I am sorry you feel that way. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" />

AJuliaNJ · February 2013

Making a scene out of trying to pull single ladies up to participate in the bouquet toss. The DJ made the announcement; if someone is single and hasn't gone up, they don't want to. End of story.

rachelm13 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:a0a54244-5ada-4a8d-8e00-9e174dda356c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : When I was a PA, I wasn't even good enough to hang out. I was only good enough to drop off their bouquets and be sent off with a little sandwich so I could set up the ceremony and reception sites. I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner, either - even though I had traveled 6 hours to attend the wedding. I know some people don't like the role of usher, either. I guess personal attendant for a girl is usher for a guy. Not good enough to be in the party.
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

<div>I hired someone to be my day of coordinator, I call it a DOC, I guess otherwise known as PA. This woman comes from a service and isn't exactly cheap. You mean people ask friends/people coming to their wedding to do this?! That would p!ss me off. New pet peeve.</div>

Sierra524 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:624cbd58-f907-4411-a0e8-d0636f353388">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]My two are gaps and <strong>the cover your plate rule</strong>. Both are common where I grew up. Both are annoying and inconsiderate. I once got an email from a BM reminding everyone about the cover your plate "rule", which was especially obnoxious since we were OOT for that wedding and had to spend money on airfare and lodging just to attend.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

What is this cover your plate rule?!

Hm..my pet peeve is girls who are already married & decide to throw a PPD. Annoying. I agree with almost every other person on this site...your wedding day is the day you legally become married & you only get one wedding! (Unless you get divorced then remarried). Oh, and people who over-invite & dont have a venue large enough to comfortably seat all their guest. I also HATE the electric slide and the chicken dance. They WILL NOT be played at my wedding, even tho every body is fighting me on it.

hoffse · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:4c095a08-8753-4d6a-aede-59dedccc2e0c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : No, No! All the weddings I have attended, I have know the couple very well. I usually get the couple a picture frame from Tiffany's (no one registers at Tiffany's), and get it engraved with their names and wedding date. It is NOT a mean or crappy thing. I wouldn't do that!
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yeah... I wouldn't want one of these either. I don't mind monograms (mostly because mine spells "SHE" and I like that), but I'm not a picture frame person or even a picture person in general - I would probably keep it because it came from tiffany's and I would feel weird giving something that expensive away (particularly when it was engraved with our names), but it would sit in a closet for the rest of my life until I die and my future children finally tossed it out. Just saying.</div><div>
</div><div>My MOH asked me if I wanted something she came up with on her own or "just something I registered for." I told her whatever she wanted - but internally I'm cringing because she and I do not have the same tastes. I registered because we need certain items - like, we NEED sheets and blankets and dinnerware that isn't chipped, etc., and so honestly that's my preference. I'm not going to be rude when she gives me something that doesn't match my decor at all, but it's probably going in the closet along with the tiffany's picture frame.</div>

rachelm13 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:b5f12a82-bead-486d-8212-3b88cb2f0ba4">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Amen to Addie on the Chicken Dance. SJM, can you compromise and just play an actual polka? In Wisco, it's practically illegal not to play polka at a wedding (but I love it - people go out and dance like fools, and it gets everyone moving). Then you don't have to play this gem. I'm banning the Chicken Dance, Hokey Pokey and the Macarena. FI's pretty irked, but I don't care. He has a whole slew of other group dances he can have played.
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

<div>I told my DJ to ban anything that has it's own dance... minus the Humpty Dance. ahaha but no seriously.</div>

tlc35 · February 2013

Gaps and the money dance. Yuck!

hoffse · February 2013

Oh and today a coworker asked me if I was excited about "the big day." I was like, "well we don't have any valentine's plans." He was like, "I'm talking about your wedding." Oops.

bunni727 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:ab7dedcb-815f-40d1-8375-94028dfef21d">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I think there's a big difference between you not being able to stand up as a BM due to your agoraphobia and <strong>your friend basically telling you you're second rate, oh and can you fetch me that water bottle/sandwich/mimosa/stick out of my a$$.</strong>
Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]

Haha, gotcha. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't representing my friend as one that would do something like that.

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:d876e3fd-d924-45d2-a2bf-31ad0aeab0b3">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : That's great that you don't. But people are probably going to give you a gift anyways. So wouldn't you rather it be something that you want/need/can return for something that you want/need rather than something that you have no use for and can't return?
Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

I have demanded a small wedding. I put the absolute most cap at 50 people. All family and close friends. I am getting the word out that we honest to goodness just want their presence there. However FH and I work with Leukemia and Lymphoma patients, and unfortunately they are the people who keep asking where we are registered. We are not registered, and I will not register. So, that is the part I am fighting with. But, if one of my patients did in fact give me something, that I "couldn't use or return", I would keep it forever because my patients mean everything to me, and sometimes they don't make it. Their "unuseable" gift would be my reminder of that special person.

AddieCake · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:c3a61744-81a4-49ea-9aaf-efd313ffc1bb">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]Making a scene out of trying to pull single ladies up to participate in the bouquet toss. The DJ made the announcement; if someone is single and hasn't gone up, they don't want to. End of story.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

1000 times this.

misshart00 · February 2013

We got a silver engraved frame from someone. It does have a wedding picture in, but it sits kind of awkwardly behind a lamp because it doesn't go with anything in my house. And I have a zillion frames already.

MrsMack10612 · February 2013

This will be a little vague, but things that HAVE to be done because it's TRADITION. Examples would be bouquet/garter toss, head tables - that sort of thing. Especially for things that would make the B&G or guests uncomfortable.

In my time on TK I've seen that some of these things are starting to fall by the wayside, but it still irks me.

I can't count how many posts I've read about girls who have little to no relationship with their fathers who think the world is going to end because they don't want to do a father/daughter dance or have him walk her down the aisle all in the name of tradition.

AJuliaNJ · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:b208ab9d-ed77-49cb-ab21-757975259224">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : It is the idea that the gift you give should be equal to the amount your dinner cost. So if the reception charges $100/pp and me and my H attend, we should gift the couple a check for no less than $200, so that we've covered the price of our plate. It is a sh*tty "rule" because guests don't set the budget for the wedding, the hosts do, and it ignores the whole point of the reception, which is to thank the guests. "Reimburse me for your dinner" is not how you thank people.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Until I started posting here, I accepted this rule as true. I always thought it was unfair because a couple having a lavish affair at the Plaza may not need as much money as a couple throwing a budget wedding at the VFW. I realize this is not universally true as the Plaza couple could have just had a rich aunt that offered to pay for the wedding, or the VFW people could have a lot of money, but just be more frugal and discerning in how they spend it, but I think you get what I'm saying.

mcda04 · February 2013

People who split couples or step parents.

MoonlightSilver · February 2013

I hate when a "bride" plans a whole elaborate wedding and fails to mention that they were actually married at the court house a year ago and have been lying to their family and friends the whole time. I especially hate learning this bit of information the day of the PPD after I've travelled half way across the country.

orangehills · February 2013

I have a few.. One is not getting a thank you card, or getting an electronic one. Really? I can go to the work of getting you a gift, but you can't say thank you in a way that puts a little effort into it?

Another is people asking to be invited to things- don't ask. If you don't get an invite, you aren't invited, case closed. If you are mad, talk crap about me behind my back I don't care! Or, just adding people on to the invite- which is really the same thing.

Also- sending invites for a family to one place- combining is rude if you are over 18.

Edit: The whole 2 "weddings" thing- one at a courthouse, and later a whole PPD. NO. just.. no.

Oh, and not inviting a significant other because you don't know or like them. Who cares? It's rude.

Treating your bridesmaids like crap and making them spend a lot of money for stuff YOU want...

Etiquette is forever changing it seems- so if you don't want to seem like an ahole, learn it and practice it for the time you are in now!

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:d7fc9d38-2e2f-4491-9ae2-5118babb1d84">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate when a "bride" plans a whole elaborate wedding and fails to mention that they were actually married at the court house a year ago and have been lying to their family and friends the whole time. I especially hate learning this bit of information the day of the PPD after I've travelled half way across the country.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

People actually do this?!?! Please tell me this is a hypothetical!!!

NYCMercedes · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:96f0db28-bf15-425b-a2f0-ea2c4326196c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]...The whole wedding industry- This is why I think weddings are a waste of money. It's one day. Spending a ton of money on a party doesn't make a couples wedding day more special than a couple who goes to the JOP. Every vendor we have been to, the price is jacked up at least 20% just mentioning wedding...
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

Yes! The wedding industry! My kids and their friends are brainwashed.

renegade gaucho · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:b208ab9d-ed77-49cb-ab21-757975259224">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : It is the idea that the gift you give should be equal to the amount your dinner cost. So if the reception charges $100/pp and me and my H attend, we should gift the couple a check for no less than $200, so that we've covered the price of our plate. It is a sh*tty "rule" because guests don't set the budget for the wedding, the hosts do, and it ignores the whole point of the reception, which is to thank the guests. "Reimburse me for your dinner" is not how you thank people.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

On top of that, how are you supposed to know how much your plate costs? I've never known anyone to ask the hosts of the reception ahead of time, and in most situations I would consider that to be a really rude thing to do.

lyndausvi · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:4c095a08-8753-4d6a-aede-59dedccc2e0c">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : No, No! All the weddings I have attended, I have know the couple very well. I usually get the couple a picture frame from Tiffany's (no one registers at Tiffany's), and get it engraved with their names and wedding date. It is NOT a mean or crappy thing. I wouldn't do that!
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

I would find that crappy. I hate engraved/personalized stuff. We were giving a personalized picture thing for our wedding. It's in a box some where, I think? Honestly we just moved and I didn't recalling unpacking it. ::shurgs::

IRL, I don't actually don't have any pet peeves. But the things I think I would be bother with don't happen at the weddings I attend. I'm sure I would be annoyed at cash bars or lack of food and money dances. But they don't happen at our weddings so I'm only speculating I would be annoyed.

MoonlightSilver · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:d22e414e-f83e-402e-b45c-786f096a6c53">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : People actually do this?!?! Please tell me this is a hypothetical!!!
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Nope, it actually happened. I only figured out they were already married by chance; the bride never once mentioned it.</div>

orangehills · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:d930bad1-e264-457d-b9b8-974afb77859f">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Is it rude if I was specifically told to do this? One of my closest family friends is a household that includes four college aged adults who still use their parents' home as their mailing address. When I called to check if any of her kids were in relationships, the mom told me not to bother sending five invitations to their house and just to send one.
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

Hmm.. that's tough. Technically- it is not the correct etiquette- anyone over 18 should get their own. The mom may say combine, but the kids are adults, and should get their own invitation even if they all live at the same place, especially if any are in a relationship. Yes, it means more stamps- but that is the right etiquette... but if the mom said that.. I don't know. That's really your call I guess! I'd say you could probably get away with that one :)

antibride2013 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:8a2ce7be-9e2a-4f31-bcf3-647266598345">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : I would find that crappy. I hate engraved/personalized stuff. We were giving a personalized picture thing for our wedding. It's in a box some where, I think? Honestly we just moved and I didn't recalling unpacking it. ::shurgs:: IRL, I don't actually don't have any pet peeves. But the things I think I would be bother with don't happen at the weddings I attend. I'm sure I would be annoyed at cash bars or lack of food and money dances. But they don't happen at our weddings so I'm only speculating I would be annoyed.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Geez, I think everyone missed the COUPLES I KNOW WELL part. If I knew they didn't like pictures or frames, but knew they liked oh let's say a vase, then they would get a vase!! (From Tiffany's of course, I LOVE Tiffany's).

lyndausvi · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-pet-peeves-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8d092ac-c63a-4a3d-a0b2-c62befd68f05Post:fe2c18f0-44c1-450a-926d-2da113994bf5">Re: Wedding peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding peeves : Geez, I think everyone missed the COUPLES I KNOW WELL part. If I knew they didn't like pictures or frames, but knew they liked oh let's say a vase, then they would get a vase!! (From Tiffany's of course, I LOVE Tiffany's).
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

DH's BF gave us a Tiffany's candle stick. No where it is? In our storage unit. He LOVES Tiffany's. We don't. I find it funny everyone you know loves Tiffany's.

Wedding peeves

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