Well. No money to send invitations. What now?

mcampbe4 · April 2011

Hello, Knotties. I'm a college student and my wedding is in a little over a month and I still have not sent any invitations off campus. When I finally gathered up enough money to have them printed, I realized that I had no money left over to print them. Now relatives are asking why they haven't been invited, but I honestly have neither the funds nor the time to get these out.

I can send invitations to close family and people on campus, but for the rest I'm just trying to decide which would be tackier: calling everyone individually or sending online invitations. I don't have everyone's phone number, but I'm friends with a lot of people on Facebook. I can pass out the leftover invitations at the wedding, as a souvenier.

Really, I want to be able to send everyone an invitation, but that doesn't look feasible. If anyone has any suggestions as to what I should do, that would be amazing.

Thanks!

Kristin789 · April 2011

If your parents' names are on the top of the invitation as the hosts, then the invitation is coming from THEM. Take the invitations to your parents and see how you can help them get their invitations mailed.

jena.n.ross · April 2011

I know this isn't helpful, but WHY are you getting married if you can't even afford postage? A big wedding sounds like the last thing you need. The best advice is that you need to have the wedding you can afford now, or wait. Who's paying for everything (food, venue, officiant, dress, WP gifts... etc), if you can't afford postage? If you haven't mailed invites, how do you know how many people are coming? You need an accurate head count for food and seating purposes.

This boggles my mind. I'm a student. I refused to go into debt for the wedding, and if I couldn't afford something I wanted, it got the axe. I'm sorry, but this is so irresponsible. Where is your FI in all this?

And for advice you might still take: as PP said, talk to your parents (yours and FI's). I bet between them, they can come up with the $50 or whatever that you need.

mcampbe4 · April 2011

As much as I appreciate your concern, you fail to take into account that life happens. As responsible as my fiance and I have tried to be when planning this wedding (everything we've done has been budget-friendly), sometimes things don't work out the way we want. It does no good to call me out on my supposed "irresponsibility" in regard to postage when in reality my dress has long been paid for, the cake is being made by a friend of the family, and the ceremony venue is free. I have a lot of friends and family members helping out with this, but I'm miles away. There is only so much they can do. I'll ask my parents again, but I need to be prepared for them to say "no" again, for they're in a tight spot, financially.

We're not having a big wedding either. Pretty much everything we've done has been budget-friendly.

My fiance is just as poor as I am at the moment, but was recently enlisted in the National Guard. Although he can't help me much now, we aren't going to go into debt. He returns from Basic Training early this fall, which means not only that all of his and half of my student loans are cancelled but that any expenses we might have accumulated from the wedding and/or honeymoon can be paid off immediately.

I know you're just trying to help, but please know that we have thought these things through. We're not stupid. Life happens. I just need some help here, not judgment. I need to know that this isn't hopeless, and so far I only feel worse about myself.

Irishcurls · April 2011

I guess I would have a wedding website (if you don't already) and email people?? It feels wrong to even type, but if you can't afford to mail anything (even plain hand written notes with the info??) I would try to find a cute "official" looking e-vite and have them rsvp to the wedding website--which a lot of brides opt for even when mailing paper invites, to save on stamping rsvp cards.

Janna1080 · April 2011

I have to agree with the above poster. A reception is expensive and isn't for everyone because not everyone can afford them.
My mom and dad got married and had 10 people over for dinner afterwords. The whole thing probably cost them $250 and they were married until he passed away. You don't need a big wedding. Scale it down. Call your closest relatives and invite them to the church and tell them it will be a small gathering afterwards. It is about the marriage, not the wedding.

HobokensFury · April 2011

I have to agree with PP. I'm truly concerned with your health and well being. If you can't afford stamps what else are you going without. But anyways start calling people and inviting them if you woun't push the wedding back.

caseyandlizzie · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:39dfbdc9-bcde-4931-b0ce-ff55a5de433f">Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello, Knotties. I'm a college student and my wedding is in a little over a month and I still have not sent any invitations off campus. When I finally gathered up enough money to have them printed, I realized that I had no money left over to print them. Now relatives are asking why they haven't been invited, but I honestly have neither the funds nor the time to get these out. I can send invitations to close family and people on campus, but for the rest I'm just trying to decide which would be tackier: calling everyone individually or sending online invitations. I don't have everyone's phone number, but I'm friends with a lot of people on Facebook. I can pass out the leftover invitations at the wedding, as a souvenier. Really, I want to be able to send everyone an invitation, but that doesn't look feasible. If anyone has any suggestions as to what I should do, that would be amazing. Thanks!
Posted by mcampbe4[/QUOTE]

I'm kind of concerned about you too.....

I agree with PP, just start making phone calls, I hope evreything turns out well for you.

TaffetaDarlingTaffeta · April 2011

To me there is something personal about getting a paper invite but I think phone calls are just as personal too!

My suggestion: Call your guests with the basic information and direct them to a website (which you can set up for free) and if you can, send out invites to the less tech savy people. You can also set up a no mail RSVP via the website, email, or phone call. It's not ideal, but it's an option.

hz80408 · April 2011

I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to echo the concern of the other posters. If you can't afford postage less than $50, how are you getting by?

Is it possible to push back the wedding since your location is free? You wouldn't seem to be losing an money (besides invites) and you could save your dress. I know you're probably anixous and excited to get married but, it seems like it could be worth the wait for you to be able to afford to do so properly.

I dated my H throughout highschool and college, but we both agreed that we wanted to wait until we were out of college to get married and to be able to afford the wedding we wanted without any additional stress just from getting married in general.

Best of luck to you and your FI. If you proceed with the wedding, I agree that calling is probably the best option so that you can keep track of RSVPs. GL.

halij52002 · April 2011

Doesn't your venue as well as your caterer need a head count about a month before your wedding? Anyway, I would definitly start calling people or maybe try and borrow the money from a friend or family member. I don't know... you sound pretty stuck here. I don't have a facebook... So I'm sure some of your friends or family members don't have a facebook. I think an e-invite might be your best way. Good luck, god bless and take care...

chantico23 · April 2011

I think that every guest deserves to get a paper invitation. That said, they need to know the date and time of the wedding pretty much immediately, since it's coming up so quickly. I would go ahead and call them, and then do these few things to scrape up the $50 for postage.
- Have a garage sale
- Call your parents and see if they are able to contribute anything
- Offer to cut grass, babysit, clean house, run errands, etc. for your friends

With a little work and determination $50 can be acquired in just a few days. And my added 2 cents is that maybe you would want to continue some of those things so that you can a little extra income. It sounds like you need it!

kjhharris · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:c894f88f-828d-430f-b27f-1ca7997be150">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that every guest deserves to get a paper invitation. That said, they need to know the date and time of the wedding pretty much immediately, since it's coming up so quickly. I would go ahead and call them, and then do these few things to scrape up the $50 for postage. - Have a garage sale - Call your parents and see if they are able to contribute anything - Offer to cut grass, babysit, clean house, run errands, etc. for your friends With a little work and determination $50 can be acquired in just a few days.
Posted by erindworley[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with PP... Ask friends if you might be able to borrow $20 - 3 friends and you're covered. Get a job, cancel your honeymoon to free up some $$$ (you can put it off until summer or after graduation), etc. To not send invitations due to cash flow and to then leave on a honeymoon would make me raise an eyebrow as a guest. </div><div>
</div><div>Weddings don't have to be expensive - I'm a firm believer that they will be as expensive as you let them be. But if a budget wedding is leaving you without enough cash for postage, how are you eating? And how are you planning on sending thank yous for any wedding gifts you may receive if you don't have the money to buy postage for invitations?</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

Yeah, life happens, but this wedding was planned out. Not an emergency. And FYI, that's why people save money for emergencies and other things life throws at them.

lyndausvi · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:6441697d-7a46-463d-89c6-b2bbde83f223">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't get how some of your posts are so rude! Getting married, yeah it's stressful, but it should be one the happiest moments in your life. You do not need to make her feel even worse about her situation. No, a wedding is not an emergency, and it is something that is planned. More often than not, plans change! For many reasons out of your control! She may have ran through her rainy day fund and unfortuantely didn't have enough and HAD to dip into the wedding stash! You just don't know! I am sure she is eating fine! Weddings don't have to be extavagant! I personally think that bigger, does not mean better! Just a waste of time, energy and cash!<strong> Not everyone may have a large amount of money to spend on one day like some</strong>. But if the love is truly there, it shouldn't matter!
Posted by bumbles13[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with that. </div><div>
</div><div>BUT - Invitations can be printed up on a home computer using standard 8x11 paper folded, thrown in an envelope and sent out for less that $20. Or you can spend $5-$10 on a postcards (free from VistaPrint ALL.THE.TIME) and sent them out for even cheaper.</div><div>
</div><div>There is a lot of middle ground between $600 invitations and not sending out any.</div><div>
</div><div>If you can't even afford invitations I have to question your financial status and if you are truly ready to get married.</div>

bumbles13 · April 2011

I just don't get how some of your posts are so rude! Getting married, yeah it's stressful, but it should be one the happiest moments in your life. You do not need to make her feel even worse about her situation. No, a wedding is not an emergency, and it is something that is planned. More often than not, plans change! For many reasons out of your control! She may have ran through her rainy day fund and unfortuantely didn't have enough and HAD to dip into the wedding stash! You just don't know! I am sure she is eating fine! Weddings don't have to be extavagant! I personally think that bigger, does not mean better! Just a waste of time, energy and cash! Not everyone may have a large amount of money to spend on one day like some. But if the love is truly there, it shouldn't matter!

pandapants84 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:6441697d-7a46-463d-89c6-b2bbde83f223">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE] Not everyone may have a large amount of money to spend on one day like some. But if the love is truly there, it shouldn't matter!Posted by bumbles13[/QUOTE]

Sadly, love is not all you need in the long run. Maturity and stability are needed for all the surprises life can bring. A couple who cannot afford stamps for their invitations will scream "Impulsive!" to a lot of people. Stamps were not invented last month. When the couple was calculating the price of the invitation, one of them should have thought to add the cost of stamps to the final number. She also claims to not have phone number for all of her guests so she can't call them. This doesn't seem like such a huge obstecle. Someone must have phone numbers. Call Aunt Suzie and ask her for cousin Tom's number, etc. Not everyone has a fortune to blow on a wedding, but being able to figure out your means and sticking to it, is a sign of maturity. Stamps shouldn't be breaking anybody's bank. We aren't talking about an ice sculpture or a something that a couple can just live without. It's a couple who is stumped with how to inform their guests that they are invited to a wedding that's weeks away! I agree with posters that say this couple should postpone things so they will be better prepared (and will allow loved ones to be better prepared) for the big day.

trix1223 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:6441697d-7a46-463d-89c6-b2bbde83f223">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't get how some of your posts are so rude! Getting married, yeah it's stressful, but it should be one the happiest moments in your life. You do not need to make her feel even worse about her situation. No, a wedding is not an emergency, and it is something that is planned. More often than not, plans change! For many reasons out of your control! She may have ran through her rainy day fund and unfortuantely didn't have enough and HAD to dip into the wedding stash! You just don't know! I am sure she is eating fine! Weddings don't have to be extavagant! I personally think that bigger, does not mean better! Just a waste of time, energy and cash! Not everyone may have a large amount of money to spend on one day like some. <strong>But if the love is truly there, it shouldn't matter!</strong>
Posted by bumbles13[/QUOTE]

Ah, how very sweet and romantic. And completely unrealistic. But you go right ahead, bumbler, and live on love.

bumbles13 · April 2011

First off, it's BUMBLES... Second: At least I fell in love with SOMEONE and not their paycheck! I will go ahead and live on love! We may not be rich, but we are happy! We may not have a big house, but we care about eachother. Marriage is about love and support, having the same ideas and plans for the future. You are suposed to be with someone for better or for worse. If the cash flow runs out, I don't plan on jumping ship. I plan to stand by my best friend and work it out! This girl has hit some snags and no one seems to actually give a crap. You don't even understand the post. I'm not saying that love is all you need. I am saying that if you really love someone, and want to be with that person, you make it work! No matter what! You do need more than just love, but you also need to understand that cash may help you live comfortably, it's not going to hold your hand or cheer you up when you need it. It may buy things you want. But what happens when all those things are all you are left with in life? Is that really going to make you feel happy to have it? I would rather spend my life knowing that I have someone who shares my views, backs me up when needed, makes me smile when I've had a crappy day, and loves me for who I am. Be it out on the streets (which is not ideal) or in a masion. As long as I am breathing, eating, and loved by the man I'm going to marry, everyday will be a good day even if it's in the poor house. Oh, I'd have to agree with Palegirl146, why do you have so many posts? You joined in 2007, either your man left you and are jealous of the people who are in loving relationships that are actually getting married. Or you have WAY to much time on your hands and feel the need to still cruise this website and rag on people. Either way, sucks to you!

mapledonuts · April 2011

Do a lot of the guests live close by? Maybe hand deliver a lot of them and then see if you can afford to mail the rest.

lyndausvi · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:5d0efc17-f68b-4490-8750-7206a23be53a">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]First off, it's BUMBLES... Second: At least I fell in love with SOMEONE and not their paycheck! I will go ahead and live on love! We may not be rich, but we are happy! We may not have a big house, but we care about eachother. Marriage is about love and support, having the same ideas and plans for the future. You are suposed to be with someone for better or for worse. If the cash flow runs out, I don't plan on jumping ship. I plan to stand by my best friend and work it out! This girl has hit some snags and no one seems to actually give a crap. You don't even understand the post. I'm not saying that love is all you need. I am saying that if you really love someone, and want to be with that person, you make it work! No matter what! You do need more than just love, but you also need to understand that cash may help you live comfortably, it's not going to hold your hand or cheer you up when you need it. It may buy things you want. But what happens when all those things are all you are left with in life? Is that really going to make you feel happy to have it? I would rather spend my life knowing that I have someone who shares my views, backs me up when needed, makes me smile when I've had a crappy day, and loves me for who I am. Be it out on the streets (which is not ideal) or in a masion. As long as I am breathing, eating, and loved by the man I'm going to marry, everyday will be a good day even if it's in the poor house. Oh, I'd have to agree with Palegirl146, why do you have so many posts? You joined in 2007, either your man left you and are jealous of the people who are in loving relationships that are actually getting married. Or you have WAY to much time on your hands and feel the need to still cruise this website and rag on people. Either way, sucks to you!
Posted by bumbles13[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>There is a button normally on the far right hand side of the keyboard right above the Shift key called "Enter" or "Return"... Trying using it, it makes reading your replies easier.</div><div>
</div><div>Why are you going to extremes? No one says she (and/or her FI) has to be a billionaires to get married or be happy. But not being able to afford something as small as postage sends up some red flags. Most people have enough loose change in their sofas to pay for that. </div><div>
</div><div>Money is the number one reason couples fight. It does not matter if you are rich or poor, people fight over it just the same. Your love will take you only so far, but with time it WILL take a toll on you. </div>

bumbles13 · April 2011

Last I checked, I couldn't find around $50 in change in my couch. What if something came up? Like I said previously, you just don't know. Most people do have a rainy day stash. Sometimes, it is not enough. But if you have money for something else, you tend to dip into it in an emergency scenario. I am perfectly aware of where the enter key is. I just prefer not to use it. If it causes you so much of a problem to read what I write, then don't! I understand money may be the main reason couples fight, but if you can work it out in a healthy manner, you should be fine in the end. Fighting is something a healthy relationship has. If you never fought over things, you may end up resenting your partner. If you fight too much, it's probably that it's something you are used to and kind of like in a strange way, or it just wasn't meant to be! People USUALLY don't jump into marriage. They give it some thought and do some planning. You can't always believe that everything is going to go just so perfectly through out the whole thing. You hit bumps! Some larger than others. It's not something you plan for or can tell to wait until you are ready for it. There's a saying, some of you may have heard of it. It goes a little something like "SH*T HAPPENS!"

jena.n.ross · April 2011

Ahhhh... marriage advice from Bumbler. Someone take notes

lyndausvi · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:cbb1e992-7571-48e5-8fec-dc1bd3b04040">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhhh... marriage advice from Bumbler. Someone take notes ;)
Posted by jena.n.ross[/QUOTE]

<div>I know right?</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>And what is this "I know where the enter key is, I choose not to use it" business? Really? What is her beef with paragraphs? </div><div>
</div><div>eta - actually the quote was "<em> </em><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:11.6667px;" class="Apple-style-span"><em>I am perfectly aware of where the enter key is. I just prefer not to use it</em>."... sorry that I missed quoted.</span></div>

banana468 · April 2011

Bumbles, a healthy relationship really doesn't have 'fighting'.

Couples may have issues from time to time but a healthy relationship should have few fights.

bumbles13 · April 2011

Why must all of you be total bitches? Most you are already married and still on here to criticize people. Oh wow, you're real cool! It's been PROVEN that couples that fight every now and again, are happier in the end. I am not talking screaming, yelling, all out brawls either. I have seen many relationships totally fail because the people never got what was on their mind, out. I have read many articles (REALISTIC, ie. marriage counselors, therapists, etc.) on what makes a relationship work and last. You can think whatever you want about me, my man, my maturity, whatever! In the end, I know I will have the perfect for us wedding, an awesome life together, and a bond that won't fall apart over something stupid! I had heard nothing but good things about this website... BOY were they wrong!

shortee426 · April 2011

Bumbler, the women here are very helpful, and while there are some that can be quite snarky (not necessarily in this thread) none of the regular posters here are bitches.

I personally appreciate that there are married women on these forums. Who better to advise than those who have already experienced?

Bumbler, I have read both this thread and another thread that you were posting in. You really need to calm down. In both threads you game in, guns ablazin', ready to start a fight. Perhaps you should step away from the forums for a moment, rethink your attitude/expectations, and come back when you are a bit more relaxed.

lyndausvi · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_well-money-send-invitations-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:71614848-f4f3-4b04-8f6c-79e5352e6a22Post:7426ac1d-b588-4a80-a7f0-f3d49212dfd9">Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why must all of you be total bitches? Most you are already married and still on here to criticize people. Oh wow, you're real cool! It's been PROVEN that couples that fight every now and again, are happier in the end. I am not talking screaming, yelling, all out brawls either. I have seen many relationships totally fail because the people never got what was on their mind, out. I have read many articles (REALISTIC, ie. marriage counselors, therapists, etc.) on what makes a relationship work and last. You can think whatever you want about me, my man, my maturity, whatever! In the end, I know I will have the perfect for us wedding, an awesome life together, and a bond that won't fall apart over something stupid! I had heard nothing but good things about this website... BOY were they wrong!
Posted by bumbles13[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Do you always think people who give advice are criticizing and are bitches?</div><div>
</div><div> Some of us have already been down this road, who better to give advice on marriage than someone who has been married? </div><div>
</div><div>Most people do not go to the pre-med student for medical advice? Why would you want advice from people who have never been married?</div>

banana468 · April 2011

Bumbles, I really recommend that you take Shortee's advice. If you insult the members here again I'll be forced to ban you.

Ghoti · April 2011

OP- if your having a super casual wedding, just call or email everyone. You can also check out VistaPrint, and maybe create 100 free postcard invites for like, 5 bucks. Then you just have to pay for postage, or maybe even hand deliver.

kristinrotondo · April 2011

I'm not sure why you hadn't thought of this before. I, too, am a student, with a toddler, and we've managed to print up invitations. You can do this from VP, although you may have waited too long to not get stuck with shipping fees. Another option is to print invitations from your home computer. I agree with PP that you should ask your parents for some help. Stamps aren't that expensive, when it comes down to it.

Well. No money to send invitations. What now?

Re: Well. No money to send invitations. What now?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards