S/O: Prenups

jemmini6 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_prenups?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6aaf1c28-a788-4583-8280-324899928a1aPost:73585c12-e4c8-4884-91ac-8031ba3fee64">Re: S/O: Prenups</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Prenups : Well...yeah you may not want to die but you are going to. Everyone is going to die, not everyone is going to get a divorce. So a will isn't really similar to a prenup.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

True, everyone is going to die at some point. However, most people don't think about wills until they are old, but that doesn't mean you can't die tomorrow. Marriage typically ends at death anyways, but sometimes, they end sooner than expected, just like life.

It's preparing for unlikely and unfortunate circumstances, just in case. It's best to be prepared and never need it, than to need it and not be prepared.

loves2shop4shoes · December 2010

FI and I won't be getting a prenup. Neither of us has substantially more than the other, which would warrant a pre-nup.

I think prenups, while extremely unromantic, can be necessary in circumstances where one party enters a marriage with a LOT more money or assets than the other. Other than that, I don't really see the need for them since, as Cate correctly said, they do not safeguard against assets acquired during the marriage.

coastiegrl25 · December 2010

We have no assets to really protect so we won't be getting one. I am not against them as I know that divorces are real and not planned. Things happen and people who think that divorce isn't an option just really have no idea. I fought to keep my marriage alive and nonetheless, I am now a divorced woman.

calindi · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_prenups?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6aaf1c28-a788-4583-8280-324899928a1aPost:8cb8ffc9-feb2-4805-89fc-80baa3eabd3c">Re: S/O: Prenups</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Prenups : I would be willing to bet this varies by state.
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Actually, not really. There may be different precident on how to apply these rules, but the basic tenants of law are the same. You can only truly protect existing assets (or debts) with a pre-nup, thus if you do not have many assets (or debt), it's not necessarily worthwhile for you.

You can make agreements on how you would hypothetically split up hypothetical earnings or posessions, but unless you already own these things when you get married and sign the contract, it's not binding. The reason is you can't sign away something you don't have. That said, having a comprehensive agreement in place would perhaps make negotiation easier should it come to that, as you can show that this was the mutually agreed upon intention, but it's not binding.

Also, my parents made a will when I was a young child, specifying how they wanted to handle custody of my brother and me until we reached the age of 18 if they were to pass away. They didn't want to die with young kids, but sometimes things happen beyond your control. If someone writes a will at 78, then I say they're probably doing it with a short-term mindset. But two young parents are just being careful "just in case".

They actually say that people who have wills at a younger age live longer. The reasoning is that these people tend to be careful and think ahead, so they're more cautious and careful with their health. The argument goes to say that you don't write either a will or a per-nup hoping or even expecting the worst will happen - you do it as part of a well-thought out plan to protect everyone involved.

leia1979 · December 2010

We are getting a prenup. I want one and FI is cool with it. I have a lot more than he does (savings, retirement, etc). Do I think he would try to take it? No way. But stupid California community property laws would try to give it to him.

I also think that if one of us buys a car with his or her own money, it should not be community property just because we are married. We both work and neither is supporting the other. If FI buys a car, there's no reason for my name to be on the title. Therefore, it's not mine. But I don't think the state agrees with me.

Do I think we are likely to ever need the prenup? No. But I look at risk in terms of probability and impact. Even if the probability is low but the impact is high, I believe in mitigating the risk.

S/O: Prenups

Re: S/O: Prenups

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