Entree Choice Etiquette?

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

What do you think?

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

I am guessing this is regional... but common sense also tells me you should ultimately let your guests have the food they want the day of rather than some pre ordered meal from weeks beforehand.

LauraT25 · March 2010

My guests don't get to pick unless they want a vegetarian option, but I don't think it's rude to ask them to choose. The logistics of ordering tableside seem like it might be kind of a nightmare for the caterer.

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

I've NEVER been to a wedding where I ordered table side.

It was either ordered when I RSVP'd, a set menu, or a buffet.

I can't imagine ordering the day of. How would that even be possible?

ZoeTheDog · March 2010

Hey Meaghan, I think it depends on your caterer/location too. Most places force you to tell them how many people will be having chicken, how many people picked filet, etc.

I would LOVE to do table-side ordering (I think it's classy) but I didn't have an option.

LauraT25 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:315542fb-cc2b-41a8-ab97-55e346496b81">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am guessing this is regional... but common sense also tells me you should ultimately let your guests have the food they want the day of rather than some pre ordered meal from weeks beforehand.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I think if someone is worried about guests deciding beforehand, they should probably go with a buffet or station-type menu with lots of choices. For a plated dinner, can a caterer really take orders on the spot? (I'm asking because I don't know, not to be rude)

I know that there could be a few people who change their mind between sending in the RSVP card and the night of the reception, but is it common enough to worry about?

kate51485 · March 2010

Maybe I've never been to a wedding classy enough for it, but I've never ever seen ordering tableside.

lyndausvi · March 2010

I think it's more of a cost issue. If you give them a choice the day of then the venue has to prepare more meals than if they know in advance how many of each item they need. More meals = more money and waste.

It would have been nice to have table side ordering, but the extra cost was not worth it to us

LauraT25 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:af65c24e-d250-460b-9fc1-7103d23b9940">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've NEVER been to a wedding where I ordered table side. It was either ordered when I RSVP'd, a set menu, or a buffet. I can't imagine ordering the day of. How would that even be possible?
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

This is what I was thinking, but I guess some people have receptions in a restaurant, so then it's an option.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

Yeah I had choices beforehand at my wedding, but tons of people in my area now (Southern CT) absolutely are poo-pooing the idea of choices beforehand. They think it is trashy. I mean, they REALLY hate it.

To be honest it never occurred to me NOT to do choices, and I called my venue out of curiosity and they told me I didn't have to do choices beforehand. Well thanks for telling me then!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

I'm hoping to do table side ordering. It happens at restaurants every day!

I don't think choosing beforehand is inherintly rude, though. People have weeks to make a decision before they send back the reply card. They are capably of choosing something they like from a pre-set menu of 2-4 options. If they can choose on the spot, they can choose beforehand.

And I know some people change their mind a lot, and might not FEEL like beef the day-of, but you just do your best and go with whatever looks good to you.

If it saves someone a significant amount of money by having pre-selected meals, I really don't think the spur-of-the-moment decision making trumps that.

LauraT25 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:06f06c83-bb1f-49f3-93b2-39e4ff338842">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I had choices beforehand at my wedding, but tons of people in my area now (Southern CT) absolutely are poo-pooing the idea of choices beforehand. They think it is trashy. I mean, they REALLY hate it. To be honest it never occurred to me NOT to do choices, and I called my venue out of curiosity and they told me I didn't have to do choices beforehand. Well thanks for telling me then!!
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I'm glad I don't live in CT then. I would be the trashiest bride ever to those girls, I'm sure.

september's bride · March 2010

I prefer the tableside option, personally. I can barely decide what I'm going to want for dinner today let alone what I'm going to want months down the road. My venue offered two meat options and a vegetarian option the night of my wedding and served varying amounts of all three, but they did everything in-house and had access to everything immediately. It was a pretty big hit, from what I've heard so far, but I can see how this could be a nightmare for an outside caterer or a small venue.

tannymcgee · March 2010

I've been to wedding where there was tableside ordering and I like it. But I also don't care if someone asks me to pick what I want ahead. my understanding is that for years and years everyone always had to pick what they wanted on the rsvp. this tableside stuff is new.

my venue told me that they would have to charge me like, double, for me to have tableside ordering because they need all of that extra food. so, yeah, my guests will choose what they want ahead. if worse comes to worse and they MUST have something different the day of, then the venue will accommodate that.

ZoeTheDog · March 2010

HAHA Southwestern CT by any chance???

It's SO snobby here, I can't stand it. I want to go back to Queens...

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

For 120 people at an outside location, I think it's impossible. Yes, restaurants do it every night, but do they prepare all those meals to come out AT ONCE? Nope, they sure don't.

I don't think it's tacky. I think your local is tacky for even suggesting this is tacky.

LauraT25 · March 2010

Mery - yes, it happens at restaurants, but it's very different at your venue. Mine has a kitchen, but it's not fully stocked with a variety of options in the quantities needed for all of my guests. A restaurant keeps a bunch of stuff on hand and if it doesn't get ordered today, it can still be used tomorrow; your caterer likely isn't prepared the same way. Like Lynda said, they'll need to have a ton of extras of each type, which is a huge waste of food (and my money, IMO).

squirrly · March 2010

Our wedding is
1) the first ever at our venue, which is normally a golf course & restaurant
2) 25 people bigger than their allowed maximum indoor seating

They don't have enough customers every day to just over order and then deal with it. Hell, they might not have enough freezer space for all that. And I certainly can't afford to pay for 3 meals for every guest.

That said - if you chose children's meal on the response card, you get to order which one you want table side. We don't have that many kids coming, and I don't expect them to be decisive in advance. I also gave more info than just chicken/beef/vegetarian on the response card, so they should be making educated choices.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

Zoe- no, Eastern

But I imagine it is the same thing... wondering if this is a LI or NYC trend coming up the pipes? Any one?

kate51485 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:06f06c83-bb1f-49f3-93b2-39e4ff338842">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I had choices beforehand at my wedding, but tons of people in my area now (Southern CT) absolutely are poo-pooing the idea of choices beforehand. They think it is trashy. I mean, they REALLY hate it. <strong>To be honest it never occurred to me NOT to do choices</strong>, and I called my venue out of curiosity and they told me I didn't have to do choices beforehand. Well thanks for telling me then!!
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it wouldn't have occurred to me to not, if you do a plated dinner with 2+ choices. Actually, until hearing this, I kind of would have thought that getting someone's choice ahead of time was MORE polite, because it ensures that they can get their selection! I guess a venue worth their salt (that wasn't a regular restaurant) wouldn't run out of something if they did it this way, but imagine how pissed you'd be if you ordered xyz and they were out because 125 other people also ordered xyz.

kristinanddan · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:af65c24e-d250-460b-9fc1-7103d23b9940">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've NEVER been to a wedding where I ordered table side. It was either ordered when I RSVP'd, a set menu, or a buffet. I can't imagine ordering the day of. How would that even be possible?
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

Most weddings here have tableside ordering. Not sure how they manage, but I've seen 300 people fed that way at once before. My best guess is they make a certain number of each to start and adjust as they go?

tannymcgee · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:a09727c6-1a85-448c-8437-027d0ab57dc4">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Zoe- no, Eastern :) But I imagine it is the same thing... wondering if this is a LI or NYC trend coming up the pipes? Any one?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

yes yes and yes. ALL of the trends we see in connecticut come mostly from long island and westchester. first it was the HUGE cocktail hours, then the tableside ordering. right now uplighting is making its big arrival (hooray.. whatever). the big trend around southern connecticut is for brides to go to westchester (new rochelle in partic) for their weddings... and all of the these trends make their way to us. that is what I have observed, anyway.

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:46242a7a-957f-41d9-a29d-d32f8aaa3937">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Entree Choice Etiquette? : Most weddings here have tableside ordering. Not sure how they manage, but I've seen 300 people fed that way at once before. My best guess is they make a certain number of each to start and adjust as they go?
Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

I wonder what the cost increase for that is. There is no way they're charging the same as a pre-ordered menu.

lyndausvi · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:0df07e6a-2de1-4491-9fe4-34d394a6c1f5">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]For 120 people at an outside location, I think it's impossible. Yes, restaurants do it every night, but do they prepare all those meals to come out AT ONCE? Nope, they sure don't. I don't think it's tacky. I think your local is tacky for even suggesting this is tacky.
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

No they do not. That is the reason reservations are staggered, so they have time to get things out in a timely manner.

There are a lot of venues who are able to do tableside, but more often than not they will be the more expensive option. Not only does it waste food, it's also more labor intensive.

mandybear7 · March 2010

Yeah, ordering table-side was $15 more pp. It's catching on in Chicago, too. We are having them choose beforehand.

janedoe1113a · March 2010

I've never even heard of table side ordering at a wedding. That seems like a logistical nightmare.

We're doing a buffet, but if we did plated seating, I would have had guests give me their choices beforehand.

beatlesgirl25 · March 2010

Meaghan, that's kinda weird that people are making such a big deal out of ordering ahead of time. I'm with everyone else who has never been to a tableside-ordering wedding reception. But if it was in a restaurant with a smaller guest list, it might be nice. But I would never think it's "trashy" to give people the option of their entree ahead of time. It's not like they MAKE the meal weeks beforehand!

ETA: We had people order beforehand on our RSVP.

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:45ab8e51-2903-4e61-9ae3-13355756e52d">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Entree Choice Etiquette? : No they do not. That is the reason reservations are staggered, so they have time to get things out in a timely manner. There are a lot of venues who are able to do tableside, but more often than not they will be the more expensive option. Not only does it waste food, it's also more labor intensive.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I've worked in restaurants before. There is no way they'd seat and serve 100+ people at once. I'm picturing the reactions of some of the kitchen guys if this were ever to happen... hahahaha.

ac_in_dc · March 2010

Choosing beforehand is not ideal, but I understand how it's a necessary evil in some cases.

There were only 100 people at our wedding, so I was able to guesstimate the number of vegetarians (so they requested veggie option tableside), I checked in advance on whether folks wanted a kids' meal via e-mail, and everyone else just got a mixed grill (chicken, sausage and lamb). Figured they were bound to like some of the meat on their plate

kate51485 · March 2010

I just think it would have to add a lot of time onto the reception. Other than with a huge budget or a small guest list at a venue that is a regular restaurant, I think it'd be difficult to do right and conveniently. Essentially they have to prepare for EVERYONE to want each dish. But, what do I know.

FutureMrsTR · March 2010

If you order tableside and want everyone to be able to have their first choice, essentially you'll need double (or triple depending on your options) the amount of food so it seems wasteful to me. We're giving two choices on the RSVP.

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