Hello everyone!
I am new here, so let me do a little introducing. I am 24 years old and my boyfriend of 7 years is 23. Our daughter is turning 3 in a few months and we bought a house 2 years ago. I graduated from college last month and landed an amazing job right out of school.
We've always talked about getting married and I have always wanted something small. Close family maybe or even a trip to Vegas. He has always insisted that when we get married its going to be huge and he has to have all of his guys there. So after that I actually started looking and somewhat planning. I figured we are at that point in our lives where we are ready. He always tells me it is really far off (I thought 2-4 years maybe) and that I need to stop planning because it's "strange".
Last night I was looking at a photographer's website because I was looking into getting family pictures done this summer. I saw a wedding album so I looked and it was the most amazing venue. I told my boyfriend that stumbled upon a wedding venue. He did his usual gripe about how I shouldn't be looking and what not.
We ended up talking a little about it and he came out with "what if I decided that I didn't want to get married so soon". Whaaattt? He said, "I feel like you want to get married ASAP, maybe I want to wait another 6-8 years". He came up with excuses like he isn't in a place yet to get married. He claims it is because I graduated college and he has a slightly above minimum wage job. He said he knows I am ready but he isn't. Pulls the whole "it's not you, it's me" thing and acts like it's not a big deal. He feels like I am rushing him and that I am putting a time limit on things - just because we've been together for 7 years isn't enough. "I am going to be with you forever, what is the difference with a piece of paper? Even if we do get married what is the difference between now and 10 years from now." Even though we are at the highest point in our relationship. The communication, trust, understanding, and laughs are at an all time high.
Now, I don't want it to seem like he is a jerk or anything. He is an amazing dad and my best friend. Through 4 years of nursing school he has been at the end of my melt downs, the no-sex-for-months periods, and everything in between without complaining.
Sorry this is so long. So I guess what I am asking is, am I rushing him? or is he making excuses? He is going to start college in the fall, should I wait for him to finish? I want honest opinions. I feel like he's crazy! JMHO!