Wedding Etiquette Forum

no flip flops for WP

Hi knotties!

So I have a problem. I understand that not all my BMs and my MOH might want to wear heels the whole time at the reception, but I wouldn't want them wearing flip flops either. Do you gals think it would be rude for me to provide them with a cute (and hopefully not too expensive) pair of ballet flats and ask them to wear them instead of flip flops if they get tired of their heels? Since they will be wearing short/cocktail dresses, their feet will show; and the last thing I wanna see in my pictures, is my WP wearing flip flops.
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Re: no flip flops for WP

  • I dont think its rude at all. However, if you are requiring that they wear these instead of the flip flops, just make sure it is not part of their BM gift.
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  • I think this is fine as long as you are paying for it.

    I know my aunt had provided flats for her WP and my mom was party of that, she forgot to bring any kind of flats for the reception so she was very happy when my aunt brought those out for the reception.
  • I wouldn't because it's making an assumption for grown women.  They know if they can dance in their shoes and will bring their dancing shoes if not.
  • I think you are over thinking this.  WP probably wouldn't change to flip flops until the dancing and you really won't be paying attention to their feet by that point, and I don't know how many pics you will have of that.  FWIW, I'm pretty sure every wedding I've been to (including those I was in), I end up kicking off my heels and dancing barefoot, so I hope I never embarassed my bride friends!
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Flats are way better for dancing than flip flops anyway, but if one of your girls really wants to wear flip flops instead of flats I think it would be control freak-ish of you to say anything about it.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I must be the only one who hates ballet flats.  I must walk weird because they are not all the comfortable to me.


    Meh,  

     anyway.  I think dictating what you BMs where on their feet while they are dancing is stepping over the bounds.   They got a dress, shoes, maybe got their hair done, nails, bought gifts, spent hours getting ready with you, taking pictures, overall being somewhat in the spot light.   Surely you can over look some flip-flops on a BM on a dance floor packed with other people.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited July 2012

    I don't think this is rude perse, but lame? Kinda. Not all flats are comfortable for every person, and sometimes it varies from person to person (you may think a pair are comfy, your friend may not). What if the flats are uncomfortable for one of your BMs, so she chooses to wear something else (gasp! flip flops or even bare feet) instead? Are you going to tell her she can't?

    Also, my BMs had short dresses and I couldn't tell you what ANY of them are wearing at the reception because I didn't notice it when I was looking at my pictures. This is not a big deal. Like, at all.

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  • Once they are at the reception, they are just guests, not WP, so you can't dictate their attire or footwear.  I guess I just don't see the big deal of letting them wear flip flops anyways.  They will have fulfilled your vision for the ceremony and pictures, etc, so while the party is going and they are dancing, why does it matter?

    Of course, you can gift them ballet flats if you want to, but you can't make them wear them instead of flip flops.  But honestly, I think it's a little micromanaging to even try that much to control their footwear after the formal bits of your wedding are over.  Let them let lose and have fun in a way that's comfortable to them.  You'll be so busy at that point anyways that I doubt you'll even notice.
    Anniversary
  • I don't have a problem with nice sandals, but plastic $1 flip flops is what i don't think would look great. I'm letting them choose their dress so it can be something they wear again; also paying for their stylist/make up artist (besides their BMs gifts) so they don't have to make that expense since they are already buying their dress.

    sparkles776StageManager14 Thanks for letting me know not to count it as part of their gift. 
  • edited July 2012
    I just can't imagine that post ceremony there will be many pictures that show bridesmaid feet.  and who cares if they wear flip flops to dance? What's more important, that they are comfortable for the reception/dancing, or that the wedding is flip-flop free? Also, flip flops can look pretty if they're nice ones. 
  • My bridesmaids brougth their own pairs of shoes to change into for dancing, and one just kept her heels on. Why not just ask your bridesmaids to bring a pair of shoes if they think the heels will be too uncomfortable? You can buy flats for them if you want, but I don't think it's necessary. 
  • Lynda - You're not the only one. Ballet flats provide ZERO support for my feet, and I *will not* wear them; no support for my feet means that not only do my feet hurt, but so do my knees and back.

    Honestly, if a bride said "no flip-flops/you must wear ballet flats if you aren't wearing your heels", I'd either go barefoot or wind up sitting at the table all night (with my bare feet in hiding).

    Though, FWIW at the last wedding I was in, I was the only BM who didn't change into flip flops for the reception... because I changed into my cowboy boots. I can't even tell you how many compliments I got from he B&G's guests that I didn't even know.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:5d48d9cb-c091-4e3b-9591-87af3ba449bb">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]If anything, just ask them to keep their shoes on through the bridal party announcements.  After that tell them they can wear whatever makes them comfortable. For the record, bare feet outside of your home are disgusting.  People who walk around out in public (and yes, this includes dance floors at weddings) in bare feet make me want to vomit.  It's trashy and common. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE

    TRASHY AND COMMON!

    i agree
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:18f91c59-cbe3-405b-85a2-e0ae5fac5697">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't have a problem with nice sandals, but plastic $1 flip flops is what i don't think would look great. I'm letting them choose their dress so it can be something they wear again; also paying for their stylist/make up artist (besides their BMs gifts) so they don't have to make that expense since they are already buying their dress. @ sparkles776  & @ StageManager14  Thanks for letting me know not to count it as part of their gift. 
    Posted by missroxtar[/QUOTE]

    <div>I still think you are over-thinking this.  No one, not even you are going to care about their feet on the dance floor.  Really,  I was so busy, I'm not even sure I saw my BMs after the ceremony, let alone care what was on their feet.   Especially with 140 people around.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I come from a different culture/country where flip flops at weddings are never or very rarely seen. I don't think flip flops is appropriate footware for weddings ... a nice pair of sandals yes.

    @ LeiselEB Thank you! That was another thing I was thnking about :)

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:a5863ecf-e82b-449c-8767-06f4cff4dc36">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I come from a different culture/country where flip flops at weddings are never or very rarely seen. I don't think flip flops is appropriate footware for weddings ... a nice pair of sandals yes. @ LeiselEB  Thank you! That was another thing I was thnking about :)
    Posted by missroxtar[/QUOTE]

    Well, if it's a part of your areas culture, your bridesmaids will know not to wear flip flops.  I'm also confused on the functional difference between dressy flip flops and dressy sandals. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:a5863ecf-e82b-449c-8767-06f4cff4dc36">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I come from a different culture/country where flip flops at weddings are never or very rarely seen. I don't think flip flops is appropriate footware for weddings ... a nice pair of sandals yes. @ LeiselEB  Thank you! That was another thing I was thnking about :)
    Posted by missroxtar[/QUOTE]

    Do all of your BMs come from the same culture/country as you? How about all of your guests?

    Seriously though, there are WAY bigger things to worry yourself about than bridal party footwear at the reception.
  • I think you'll be wasting your money if you purchase ballet flats or whatever for your BMs.  I've been to a lot of weddings and I have NEVER noticed anyone changing shoes.  It's kind of weird to me.  I bring a small purse with me sometimes when I go to weddings.  Sometimes, not even that.  Where the heck would I put a change of shoes?  I'd let them go barefoot if they want to take their heels off, or they'll bring something to change into.  Don't even bring it up to your friends.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:c9bea546-e00b-4ef2-8b53-21db4752cf93">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: no flip flops for WP : Agree 100% with the possible exception of a beach/park/other natury-outdoor setting.  I have no issue with flip flops, but bare feet in a public place makes my stomach roil, double so if there's food in the same venue at all.  I actually have a pair of sock monkey slippers under my desk at work because <strong>I don't even want my bare feet touching the floor if I'm sitting at the computer and decide to kick off my work shoes.</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I wear flip flops to work, problem solved.  LOL. 

    Seriously though, I still don't understand why the shoes they change into at the reception even matters. 
    Anniversary
  • I changed into flipflops at my own wedding, so I guess you know where my vote lies.

    Seriously, though.  Your photographer will not be taking full-body photos of your WP at the reception.  Reception photos are usually table shots or packed dance floor shots, their feet would either not be in the photo or not be discernable from half a dozen other guests'.  I wear ballet flats almost every day, even still not every pair is comfortable - I've given several brand new pairs away b/c after 30 minutes in them my feet were killing me.  I sincerely think it would be a waste of your money. 

    If you're honestly concerned that some of your family will be offended to see cheap flip flops then I'd say it's okay to give your BM's a heads-up, but don't make any demands and don't waste your money on shoes they may not find comfortable.

    Also, I'm curious what the difference really is between cheap flip flops and a nice pair of sandals.  I have Nike flip flops that are still the foam base and from a distance don't look that different from Old Navy, but were much more expensive (and much higher quality).  Likewise I've bought some $5 pairs at target that are all cute beading (though, to me, not as comfortable) and look fancier.  It's sort of a hard line to draw.
  • I totally agree on hating ballet flats. I think its controlling and snotty to dictate no flip flops at your reception where no pictures of their feet will even be taken.

    Ballet flats, in addition to having no support and making my feet hurt, also get hot. I wear open toed shoes (usualy flip flops) when its hot because my feet get sweaty, smelly and gross (especially at a wedding on a dance floor).

    Your wedding party are not puppets.
  • My wedding shoes ARE Flip Flops, so I wouldn't care if anyone in the wedding wore them. No one cares ... really. It isn't something you will remember.
  • Do people not own their own flats? I'm wearing some now. Both of my BMs changed into flats for my reception. Hell, I brought a pair of flats to the last wedding I went to for when my feet got tired of my heels. If you think they'll be bringing flip flops, surely they can bring flats. I think most people would automatically gravitate towards bringing nicer shoes to wear with a cocktail dress than flip flops.

    You can ask if they've picked out shoes and what they'll wear. I guess if they say, "Oh, and I'll just wear flip flops to the reception!" you can say, "well, I'd rather you didn't. But if you don't have any flats, I can pick up a pair for you."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:31804315-3a53-489f-83d6-5cbab474e9f8">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just can't imagine that post ceremony there will be many pictures that show bridesmaid feet.  and who cares if they wear flip flops to dance? What's more important, that they are comfortable for the reception/dancing, or that the wedding is flip-flop free? <strong>Also, flip flops can look pretty if they're nice ones. </strong>
    Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

    False! Lol.

    [QUOTE]Lynda - You're not the only one. <strong>Ballet flats provide ZERO support for my feet, and I *will not* wear them; no support for my feet means that not only do my feet hurt, but so do my knees and back. Honestly, if a bride said "no flip-flops/you must wear ballet flats if you aren't wearing your heels", I'd either go barefoot or wind up sitting at the table all night (with my bare feet in hiding).</strong> Though, FWIW at the last wedding I was in, I was the only BM who didn't change into flip flops for the reception... because I changed into my cowboy boots. I can't even tell you how many compliments I got from he B&G's guests that I didn't even know.
    Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

    Have you never heard of Dr. Scholls or orthopedic inserts? Yup, cheap flats have no support. They suck. That's why I have to put cushioning inserts in them. Or buy flats that have cushioning, which are more than a few dollars. But I have trouble understanding how flip flops or heels are more supportive or comfortable. I also have a problem with my foot which makes bare feet uncomfortable.
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  • In Response to Re:no flip flops for WP:[QUOTE]Do people not own their own flats? I'm wearing some now. Both of my BMs changed into flats for my reception. Hell, I brought a pair of flats to the last wedding I went to for when my feet got tired of my heels. If you think they'll be bringing flip flops, surely they can bring flats. I think most people would automatically gravitate towards bringing nicer shoes to wear with a cocktail dress than flip flops. You can ask if they've picked out shoes and what they'll wear. I guess if they say, "Oh, and I'll just wear flip flops to the reception!" you can say, "well, I'd rather you didn't. But if you don't have any flats, I can pick up a pair for you." Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    I own boots or flipflops, that's it. My flats/summer shoes ARE flipflops because that's what I'm comfortable in. Even if the bride bought flats for me, I would not wear them because they are not comfortable and do not provide enough support for me.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:5f5b4221-437c-45c1-8bce-6dd279000852">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do people not own their own flats? I'm wearing some now.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    The only flats I could find were made in Mauritius and I don't know where that is so I didn't trust the quality. 

    OP, please listen to Stage.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:55d858ed-dff5-4bfe-bb86-dbf684bd3b0c">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: no flip flops for WP : Hardcore <3, man.  Hardcore.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

    <div>Word</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:be33e577-7edc-4ab4-87d7-c690252e5554">Re:no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:no flip flops for WP: Actually, wearing cheap foam flip flops doesn't bother my knee at all, but cheap ballet flats or flat hard soled sandals kill it. OP, you know you could save yourself a lot of headache by just specifying a shoe color and letting your BMs pick their own shoes. They'll be less likely to change shoes if they are wearing shoes they picked out to begin with.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I'm in the same boat. I actually don't typically wear flip flops outside of the house, but I hate hate hate ballet flats.  They KILL my knee, which in turn ends up hurting my back because I end up walking funny because I'm favoring my bad knee.  

    If OP is buying ballet flats for her BMs, she probably isn't going to go out and buy cushion inserts.    OP. If you REALLY want to splurge and buy ballet flats for your BMs (closer to your wedding date), talk to them and make sure they are comfortable in those shoes.  It would be a waste of money to buy them, and still have BMs end up in flip flops or barefoot because they hated the shoe.
  • When I got married I bought a pair of ballet flats for the wedding and ballet slippers for the reception.  I ended up wearing the slippers the whole time because the flats were super uncomfortable. I told my WP they could wear whatever shoes they wanted, as long as they went with the dress.

    This post made me go back and look at all of the pictures posted on Facebook of my wedding. That was the very first time I noticed that the girls had changed their shoes to wear flip-flops, sandals, ballet slippers, etc. I was married over a year ago. I can tell you what- I didn't let out an appalled gasp seeing their feet in those pictures. 
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-flip-flops-for-wp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e615d846-20ab-4576-b054-6e0b126ff5fePost:5afecdbc-7124-4f3b-a61b-aa18c32d5cc0">Re: no flip flops for WP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: no flip flops for WP : False! Lol.<strong> Have you never heard of Dr. Scholls or orthopedic inserts? </strong>Yup, cheap flats have no support. They suck. That's why I have to put cushioning inserts in them. Or buy flats that have cushioning, which are more than a few dollars. But I have trouble understanding how flip flops or heels are more supportive or comfortable. I also have a problem with my foot which makes bare feet uncomfortable.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes I have and I actually own some.  Although I don't really like them.  My feet sweat too much and they move around.</div><div>
    </div><div>Regardless,  I'm sure they OP isn't going to buy inserts to make the shoe more comfortable for someone like me, which is my point.   She can buy ballet shoes, but I doubt I would wear them because they are uncomfortable to me.</div><div>
    </div><div>On another note, I generally buy expensive flip-flops that have arch supports.  I don't own any $1 Old Navy flip-flops. I would like to, but they are not comfortable to me either. </div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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