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New Jersey

The Jersey Gap?

I'm from the MIdwest originally so I'm completely lost when it comes to the "traditional NJ traditions". (Viennese hour..we def didn't have such a thing in Illinois!..anyway)

We are trying to nail down our wedding day schedule and my FI is insisting we leave a sizeable (at least to me) gap between the ceremony and reception because "every wedding he's been to has had it". He claims it's a NJ thing, but I'm not sure, so I'm asking you guys what your thoughts are. Here is the proposed schedule with a gap:

2-2:30pm
5-6pm cocktails (reception place is 30-40 min away from church) 
6-10 dinner

Too much of a gap or is this fine?

«1

Re: The Jersey Gap?

  • maddie7maddie7 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is too much of a gap for my taste.  2 hours tops! What are people supposed to do all dressed up?
  • edited December 2011
    Most people on here will tell you not to do it because it's inconsiderate to your guests.  I think with more and more people getting married at the venue and/or doing "first look" photo sessions with the groom before the ceremony, the gap is happening less and less, so people are getting "spoiled" by not having the gap.  

    However, that being said, if you are going the more traditional route and having the ceremony at a church or some other venue, and doing pics with your husband AFTER the ceremony, then the gap really becomes a necessity.  For us, our ceremony will probably end around 3pm in New Brunswick, then cocktail hour begins at 6pm at a venue 45 minutes away.  But we are doing photos after the ceremony, and most guests will be staying at the hotel and will need to check in before the reception anyway, so to be honest I'm not concerned about being "inconsiderate".  We simply need the time for us to do photos and travel to the reception site.  

    In your case, if the gap is not necessary for you based on your plans for the day, then don't do it just to do it -- that would be silly and inconsiderate to your guests.  But if you truly need the time to get stuff done, like photos and travel time, then your guests should understand!
  • edited December 2011
    Are you doing a receiving line after your ceremony? You should factor that in. I think with religious ceremonies, it's normal to have the gaps as they are earlier in the day and you want a later reception...
    *~allie~*

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We had one and I wasn't happy about it, but we had the latest timeslot at the church and the earliest evening timeslot at the hall. Some people skipped the church ceremony.

    I don't think it's horrible if you can't avoid it, but I don't think it's considerate to plan one on purpose, especially if it's just to take pictures (you can do a lot of photos ahead of time, and even more photos is you agree to see each other before the ceremony).
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  • NJhousewife22NJhousewife22 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The gap is slightly out of picture necessity definitely, but also because our venue gives us only a 5 hour block, so if we start at 3:30 or 4, then the reception is over at 8:30/9 and that seemed too early to wrap everything up. (I don't want to move the ceremony time if possible due to picture/daylight concerns).   

    I think we will do a receiving line at the church, which would lessen the gap slightly...

    Why do they make it so darn expensive to extend the reception? It's not like they are booking anything else, but if we want to add an hour it's another $1500!
  • edited December 2011
    There are a lot of Catholics in New Jersey, so maybe that's why the gap sounds like a Jersey thing to you? I'm pretty sure with church weddings in other faiths, the church usually doesn't have to be cleared out by 4 p.m. for evening services. Generally, people here expect a gap of about 3 hours if the ceremony is in a church. It's not ideal, but people often understand. If the ceremony and reception are at the same site, THEN a long gap would be considered rude. Also, a receiving line can eat up a good portion of the time.
  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:43724600-d5d0-4965-80d1-b0987d4b3716">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it's horrible if you can't avoid it, but I don't think it's considerate to plan one on purpose, especially if it's just to take pictures (you can do a lot of photos ahead of time, and even more photos is you agree to see each other before the ceremony).
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    This!  I understand that it isn't always avoidable, but it isn't nice to do it to your guests if you don't have to.  Tying them up from 2:30 on means that they can't do much with the rest of their day. 

    Friends of ours are getting married in July at a church and the ceremony is 2 and the reception is 6.  I know that they chose 2 rather than their other choices (3 or 4) so they would have more time to take pictures.  Honestly, a bunch of us are already really annoyed by it because we have no idea what we're going to do during that time.  (And it is too far away for us to go home in-between.)  Why do that to your guests unless you have to?  And why have your guests' first impression of your reception be annoyance?

    Our church could do no later than 3, but our reception venue let us start whenever.  We picked 4:30 so no-one would be waiting around, and then we extended our reception by an hour so it ended at 10:30.  But I don't think a reception ending at 9:30 would have been the end of the world.  Not all of your guests like to stay out late anyway!
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  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Our schedule for right now is:
    Ceremony and receiving line-3:00-4:15
    Travel to reception is 40 minutes, but since it's the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday on Rt. 17, I think it will take longer
    Cocktail hour starts at 6

    Most of our guests are either out of town and can go back to the hotel or local and can go home.  Also, the country club has a bar that they can go to ahead of time.  Just be prepared for people to skip the ceremony because they don't want to wait around.
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  • K&J64K&J64 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    That seems a big long to me personally. 3:00-3:30 for the ceremony and cocktail hour at 5 seems more reasonable.  I also am not a fan of posed photos so I am limiting how much time is spent taking those, and we're taking photos with our respective families and halves of the wedding party pre-ceremony so I'm only allotting 30 minutes for photos post ceremony (which will be during out cocktail hour since our ceremony is on site).

    A lot of people will skip the ceremony at a gapped wedding if it isn't family or a very close friend. So be prepared for a bit of that, especially if you're inviting colleagues to the wedding.


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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I hate gaps and I find them to be terribly inconsiderate of your guests.  I mean I understand an hour maybe 90 min tops...but several hours no way.   You do not need to be at your cocktail hour, use that time to take pictures as well.   Personally, unless the person is a family member or really close friend, I would skip the ceremony if there is a long gap.    So be prepared for the fact that many people may not come to your ceremony with such a huge gap.   

    What are people supposed to do for 2 or more hours between the ceremony and cocktail hour?  
  • JerseyMLJerseyML member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We have a gap in ours but I also don't care if anyone shows up to the ceremony to be honest.  My parents will be there and so will his.  That's all that matters to me.  People will know about the gap ahead of time.  If they don't like the idea they will just show up to the reception. 

    2:30-3:15 Catholic Ceremony
    6:30-8 Cocktail hour
    8:00-11:30 Dinner
    11:30-12:30 Venetian hour
    12:30-2:30 After Party
    "Do I look like a killer to you?" "Yes, you kill my patience." -Castle
  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:e58d7e30-9a56-4176-a5a5-70d727c016b3">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have a gap in ours but I also don't care if anyone shows up to the ceremony to be honest.  My parents will be there and so will his.  That's all that matters to me.  People will know about the gap ahead of time.  If they don't like the idea they will just show up to the reception.  2:30-3:15 Catholic Ceremony 6:30-8 Cocktail hour 8:00-11:30 Dinner 11:30-12:30 Venetian hour 12:30-2:30 After Party
    Posted by JerseyML[/QUOTE]
    I completely agree.. My ceremony will be from 3 to 3:30 and cocktail hour will start at 7 (45 minute to an hour drive between the two places). Every wedding I have ever attended has always had some kind of gap, some smaller than others. I don't know what the reason was in each case, nor did I care. While it might be annoying in some cases, it is also understandable, because it is nearly impossible to have no gap unless your ceremony is at the same location as the reception.
    People always say "what will the OOT guests do for 2 hours?".. well if they are from so far out of town that they wouldn't know where to go or what to do, then chances are, they are probably staying at a hotel - so I would assume they can go to the hotel during the break. If you might have some OOT guests that aren't staying at the hotel and would be left "stranded", then just be sure to give them suggestions of places to go to waste some time, or if there is a bar at the hotel, they can hang out there. I really don't see what the big deal is with the whole gap thing to be honest.
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  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:6067cf38-4835-4571-bf0d-a0c49e76a207">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : I completely agree.. My ceremony will be from 3 to 3:30 and cocktail hour will start at 7 (45 minute to an hour drive between the two places). Every wedding I have ever attended has always had some kind of gap, some smaller than others. I don't know what the reason was in each case, nor did I care. While it might be annoying in some cases, it is also understandable, because it is nearly impossible to have no gap unless your ceremony is at the same location as the reception. People always say "what will the OOT guests do for 2 hours?".. well if they are from so far out of town that they wouldn't know where to go or what to do, then chances are, they are probably staying at a hotel - so I would assume they can go to the hotel during the break. If you might have some OOT guests that aren't staying at the hotel and would be left "stranded", then just be sure to give them suggestions of places to go to waste some time, or if there is a bar at the hotel, they can hang out there. I really don't see what the big deal is with the whole gap thing to be honest.
    Posted by cindy9178[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agreed.  When I went to a wedding this summer that was a beach ceremony but still had a 4 hour gap in between, my friends, FI, and I went to grab lunch and then went back to the hotel for some drinks.  Not that big of a deal in my opinion.</div>
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  • NJhousewife22NJhousewife22 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies. I think we are going to try to find a way to close the gap a bit. I  also think I may have underestimated the time alloted for our ceremony so I need to confirm with the Priest. (We arent' doing mass, but ARE doing a catholic ceremony so it may be longer than 30 min.)
  • sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Personally I am not a fan of gaps.  People that aren't staying at a hotel are not going to go back home for that time, and people that are, there isn't much to do while you are all dressed up to go back to the hotel.  I would skip the ceremony unless it was family or close friends.  We are having the ceremony at the venue so no gap for us.  We are doing all of our pictures before hand.
  • edited December 2011
    I think it really depends on what your family and friends are used to. I have only ever been to two weddings w/o a gap, and I atcually prefer the gap because it gives us a little time to chat and catch up w/ other guests before the reception starts. This is probably due to my whole family and most of my friends having weddings at churches (mostly Catholic) vs. at venues. We have a gap too, but between the receiving line,  people driving to the venue, checking into the hotel, etc there will be at most 30-40 minutes for them to kill (maybe an hour if someone isnt checking in or driving really fast). I think they can entertain themselves for one hour, and there is a sports bar right in the venue where they can get a drink or just watch a game, shoot pool, etc for that short period of time. There is also a lounge area where they can relax. And like others said, if this is going to inconvenince someone and they dont come to the ceremony,so be it, I know all my family and FIs family will be there, so thats what we really care about.

    We are going to a wedding this summer where the ceremony is at 12 and reception at 6. Thats a long gap (and the drive is only 30 min to the venue) and Im not worried about it, thats when the church would give them a mass.
  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:0a42a28b-6e56-4329-b680-bae06dee799b">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are going to a wedding this summer where the ceremony is at 12 and reception at 6. Thats a long gap (and the drive is only 30 min to the venue) and Im not worried about it, thats when the church would give them a mass.
    Posted by gymchick05[/QUOTE]

    Now that is the most ridiculous gap I have ever heard of.   talk about inconveniencing your guests so they have to take up their whole day at your wedding.   If that is the only mass you can get then you do an afternoon wedding.   It amazes me how many people do not think of their guests when planning weddings.
  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I just wanted to say that when I saw the subject I thought it was about GAP, the store, which happens to be somewhere in Jersey......hahaha

    Laurie I am with you (as usually....hahaha)  I do not attend ceremonys that have more than a 90 min gap, and even that is stretching it.  
  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:d47a7c84-e510-4abc-8c18-6fb26b15f2e0">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just wanted to say that when I saw the subject I thought it was about GAP, the store, which happens to be somewhere in Jersey......Posted by felicia220[/QUOTE]

    I thought the same exact thing!!!   LOL
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:6f177151-eca8-4a8c-81af-78df0a67a5eb">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : Now that is the most ridiculous gap I have ever heard of.   talk about inconveniencing your guests so they have to take up their whole day at your wedding.   If that is the only mass you can get then you do an afternoon wedding.   It amazes me how many people do not think of their guests when planning weddings.
    Posted by goaliegirl[/QUOTE]

    So you're saying people who have church weddings - who often can't avoid having a gap - are rude and inconsiderate? <strong>That </strong>thought is rude and inconsiderate. You may have been able to avoid having a gap, but many of us can't. I know it's not fashionable or trendy, but many people still do get married in churches.

    I don't think the 5-hour gap couple could have had an afternoon reception - at most venues, you'd have to start at 11:30 or 12. I do agree their gap is excessive. If they wanted an evening reception, they should have found a church that let them have a later start, or, they could have gotten married on a Friday night and have the ceremony start at 4 or 5.

    Here's the thing everyone planning a wedding should accept: No matter what you do, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE EVERY ONE OF YOUR GUESTS HAPPY. Obviously, you should think about their comfort, but it's impossible to completely please them all.
  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If I had a choice of attending a wedding with a gap or an afternoon reception, I'd take the gap.  That's just because I hate drinking and dancing and then having to go home at 6:00 when it's still light out. Just my personal preference though.
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  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:0a42a28b-6e56-4329-b680-bae06dee799b">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it really depends on what your family and friends are used to. I have only ever been to two weddings w/o a gap, and I atcually prefer the gap because it gives us a little time to chat and catch up w/ other guests before the reception starts. This is probably due to my whole family and most of my friends having weddings at churches (mostly Catholic) vs. at venues. We have a gap too, but between the receiving line,  people driving to the venue, checking into the hotel, etc there will be at most 30-40 minutes for them to kill (maybe an hour if someone isnt checking in or driving really fast). I think they can entertain themselves for one hour, and there is a sports bar right in the venue where they can get a drink or just watch a game, shoot pool, etc for that short period of time. There is also a lounge area where they can relax.<strong> And like others said, if this is going to inconvenince someone and they dont come to the ceremony,so be it,</strong> I know all my family and FIs family will be there, so thats what we really care about. We are going to a wedding this summer where the ceremony is at 12 and reception at 6. Thats a long gap (and the drive is only 30 min to the venue) and Im not worried about it, thats when the church would give them a mass.
    Posted by gymchick05[/QUOTE]
    I agree. however if someone is staying at the hotel, and they don't come to the ceremony because they find the gap annoying, then that is rude. There is no reason you can't hang out at the hotel for an hour or however long, whether you are dressed up or not.
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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:a027a0ed-15e7-4d06-806c-75c6f4986f88">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : So you're saying people who have church weddings - who often can't avoid having a gap - are rude and inconsiderate? That thought is rude and inconsiderate. You may have been able to avoid having a gap, but many of us can't. I know it's not fashionable or trendy, but many people still do get married in churches. I don't think the 5-hour gap couple could have had an afternoon reception - at most venues, you'd have to start at 11:30 or 12. I do agree their gap is excessive. If they wanted an evening reception, they should have found a church that let them have a later start, or, they could have gotten married on a Friday night and have the ceremony start at 4 or 5. Here's the thing everyone planning a wedding should accept: No matter what you do, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE EVERY ONE OF YOUR GUESTS HAPPY. Obviously, you should think about their comfort, but it's impossible to completely please them all.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

    I have been to plenty of church weddings were there was an hour or hour and half gap which IMO is reasonable.  Any longer than that I find to be excessive.  I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable but then the bride and groom should EXPECT that many people won't come to their ceremony.  Which I have seen so many people upset because nobody showed up.  So obviously it was an inconvenience for people.

    And most people would never complain to the bride or groom about the inconvenience but I gaurantee that they are annoyed by large gaps, believe me I have seen it plenty of times. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:fb16fcb9-ce43-4de2-a5fe-21fc9e810837">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : I have been to plenty of church weddings were there was an hour or hour and half gap which IMO is reasonable.  Any longer than that I find to be excessive.  I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable but then the bride and groom should EXPECT that many people won't come to their ceremony.  Which I have seen so many people upset because nobody showed up.  So obviously it was an inconvenience for people. And most people would never complain to the bride or groom about the inconvenience but I gaurantee that they are annoyed by large gaps, believe me I have seen it plenty of times. 
    Posted by goaliegirl[/QUOTE]

    "Nobody" showed up? Hyperbole much? So the aunt who lived nearby wasn't at the ceremony? The bridesmaids only came for the reception?

    I'm pretty sure most people with gaps understand that not <em>everyone </em>will be at the ceremony. But the most important people - immediate family, closest friends - should be. And if they're not, I can understand the couple's frustration.

    Like I said, there's often no way around a gap. When a church needs to be vacated by 3:30 on a Saturday, but the reception venue won't let the party start until 6:30, there <strong>will </strong>be a gap. I'm guessing the churches you're talking about weren't Catholic.

    I'm certainly anticipating ceremony no-shows. But I'm pretty sure no one I'm inviting to my wedding has your attitude.
  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:326214a0-c011-456e-8676-973bf974cc03">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : "Nobody" showed up? Hyperbole much? So the aunt who lived nearby wasn't at the ceremony? The bridesmaids only came for the reception? I'm pretty sure most people with gaps understand that not everyone will be at the ceremony. But the most important people - immediate family, closest friends - should be. And if they're not, I can understand the couple's frustration. Like I said, there's often no way around a gap. When a church needs to be vacated by 3:30 on a Saturday, but the reception venue won't let the party start until 6:30, there will be a gap. I'm guessing the churches you're talking about weren't Catholic. I'm certainly anticipating ceremony no-shows. But I'm pretty sure no one I'm inviting to my wedding has your attitude.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]
    hahah.. I know many people won't be at my ceremony anyway, because it is at 3pm on a Friday.. but I had no choice, unless I wanted the reception to be starting at like 10pm. The church only does ceremonies between 3 and 5, and If I did a 5pm ceremony, then we would've had to push the cocktail hour back later, and then people would be annoyed they weren't eating dinner until 11pm or something ridiculous. Some people are always going to be annoyed, that is life. I say just do what you need to do and be prepared to upset some people regardless.

    *Edit* to address the OPs original question.. if your ceremony will be over at 2:30..and assuming you will have a receiving line, most guests won't leave the ceremony until about 3:15ish. Then you said 40 minutes for travel, so they will be in the area of the reception at about 4pm (or later if there is traffic) That is about a 1 hour gap and that is perfectly acceptable.
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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:326214a0-c011-456e-8676-973bf974cc03">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : "Nobody" showed up? Hyperbole much? So the aunt who lived nearby wasn't at the ceremony? The bridesmaids only came for the reception? I'm pretty sure most people with gaps understand that not everyone will be at the ceremony. But the most important people - immediate family, closest friends - should be. And if they're not, I can understand the couple's frustration. Like I said, there's often no way around a gap. When a church needs to be vacated by 3:30 on a Saturday, but the reception venue won't let the party start until 6:30, there will be a gap. I'm guessing the churches you're talking about weren't Catholic. I'm certainly anticipating ceremony no-shows. But I'm pretty sure no one I'm inviting to my wedding has your attitude.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

    Hold on...so I have an attitude because I posted my opinion on a public message board?  That is pretty funny!     I would make a safe bet that I am not the only one who feels this way in the world about HUGE gaps.  As I said before, a 60-90 min. gap is fine.  But when they are several hours, I find it to be excessive.   I am sure some of your guests will feel the same way, they just won't say anything to you!   When someone posts about things like this, people are going to have opinions on both sides, and not everyone is going to agree...that is what makes the world what it is...but to say someone has an attitude because they don't agree with you is quite ridiculous!

    To add, I have been to MANY catholic weddings and the gaps were not 2-3 hours.  There was an hour or so gap and the couple skipped the receiving line and missed part of the cocktail hour to get their pictures done so that their guests didn't have to wait for hours in between.   Or, the couple did their pictures prior to the ceremony to avoid have a long gap.   So, it is quite possible to do it without having an excessive gap if you really want to.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:68e203a6-a40d-4aab-b7b2-babafc8eb34f">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I am sure some of your guests will feel the same way, they just won't say anything to you!  
    Posted by goaliegirl[/QUOTE]

    I love that a total stranger is absolutely confident there are some closet b!tches in the company I keep.

    The overwhelming majority of our guests are from Catholic backgrounds (or are familiar with them), and they <em>expect </em>huge gaps or know how to deal with them. So I'm not worried that I'll come across as rude and inconsiderate. People who may think that (even if they keep that thought to themselves) don't run in my circles.

    I realize you have strong opinions on this matter, and so do I, because a lot of people don't seem to understand that long gaps aren't usually done for the hell of it. The Catholic weddings you went to must have been Friday night weddings or venues with flexible start times (like uppereast's).

    ETA: If the best way to avoid the Catholic gap is by having a Friday night wedding, guess what? A lot of people find Friday night weddings inconsiderate (maybe even more so than a three-hour gap). Like I said, when you're planning a wedding,<em> you're not going to make all your guests happy</em>. Definitely try to minimize any potential discomforts, but realize that sometimes, it's not possible to prevent them all.
  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    She was referring to your overall opinion/ bad attitude about large gaps.. she wasn't saying you have an attitude because you don't agree with her.. ButterKnives..correct me if I'm wrong.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:88c7a675-1289-4ea7-94a8-49ed95e3a22f">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She was referring to your overall opinion/ bad attitude about large gaps.. she wasn't saying you have an attitude because you don't agree with her.. ButterKnives..correct me if I'm wrong.
    Posted by cindy9178[/QUOTE]

    You are correct!
  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:88c7a675-1289-4ea7-94a8-49ed95e3a22f">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She was referring to your overall opinion/ bad attitude about large gaps.. she wasn't saying you have an attitude because you don't agree with her.. ButterKnives..correct me if I'm wrong.
    Posted by cindy9178[/QUOTE]

    So let me get this right....I am not allowed to have an opinion?   And I have a bad attitude because it isn't the same as hers?     Um yeah...public message board...lots of different opinions.  I didn't call her a closet b!tch or say she had an attitude because her opinion differs from mine.    But good try!!
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