Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

I haven't posted much yet here, but I've had an account since this Summer when my boyfriend and I started seriously discussing marriage. It started as just talk but, a few serious conversations later we realized that marriage wasn't all that far off (in 2 and a half years I'll have to go to school 2 hours away for 4 years and his job will keep him here, we decided we wanted to be married for a year before that happens to be able to enjoy that first year together and not wait nearly 7 years for it to happen.)

Since that decision, the process to engagement has been a bit crazy. We started with him saying he wanted to propose by the end of the year, and us deciding to pick a ring together to get one I liked and that looked good on me. We decided once it was picked he would buy it and plan a surprise proposal. Once the ring was picked, being a naturally curious person, I asked him if he'd planned anything yet (I didn't want to know details, I was just curious to see his progress because he's a naturally indecisive person and isn't used to planning things, especially surprises.

After months of him going back and forth between telling me he was nervous and telling me he was excited and would buy the ring soon, he finally asked for my help planning. I always liked the idea of a proposal in a nice restaurant over dinner, so I told him that and made a list of local restaurants that looked good, later adding some other non-restaurant ideas in case he wanted to surprise me more.

As time went on, he finally made his plan and told me several days he wanted to go out on, the idea being to surprise me with which he would ask me with. Finally, this past weekend has left only two remaining dates left on his list, one of which had to be canceled due to an error in his planning.

This leaves me knowing 1. the ring (I only haven't seen it fitted, otherwise I know every other detail about it) 2. where he's asking, and for the most part how and 3. when he's asking within an hour of when it will be.

I love planning surprises but always hoped to have someone surprise me for a change, especially with a once in a lifetime event like a proposal. I'm still excited, but when it hit me tonight that one thing I always looked forward to as a surprise ended up being something I almost planned myself, I ended up in tears.

I'm not really sure the point to this post, just wanted to share with some people who might understand and see if anyone had any thoughts on it I suppose.

Thanks!!

Swazzle · November 2012

Ditto what Buggle said. If you wanted to be surprised then you should have explained that to him from the start rather than planning the proposal yourself, he's not a mind-reader.

thejucheidea · November 2012

Dude, you really brought this upon yourself

.

msuprincess04 · November 2012

It happens. I was kind of in the same situation. We were on vacation and I kinda figured it would happen then. So I asked to go on a romantic beach dinner, because I thought it would be perfect. He surprised me by asking over lunch the day before. Totally unromantic, but totally surprised, still pretty perfect.

I'm not sure how that really helps your situation, but trust me when I tell you you aren't the only one that pulls the bonehead move. Either way, you won't be let down. You'll be engaged and excited!

Peaseblossom55 · November 2012

I would be honest and say something to him. At the end of the day it will be such an exciting time and you will be engaged though, so try to look forward to it, even if you have some of the details.

cu97tiger · November 2012

Tell your BF that you really don't want what you planned because you want it to be a surprise, then give him your best friends phone number, or your mom's... Whomever you trust to help him plan the surprise and NOT tell you.

beanbot2002 · November 2012

When el senor and I talked about it, I told him I wanted to be surprised. And then I left that sh!t alone. I have no idea when, how, or where it will happen. The most I know is that he wants to wait until we have moved into our new place sometime next year. It could happen days, months, or years after that.

You really brought this on yourself. You said you wanted to be surprised and then you planned the whole dang thing. Were you really expecting to still be surprised?? Either realize that you kinda screwed yourself out of a surprise and get over it, or ask him to change his plans. Either way, in the end, your BF wants to propose to you.

steign · November 2012

Yeah...what PP said. I am confused why you would go as far as to research restaurants for him to propose at?

bethsmiles · November 2012

I agree with the PPs that you brought this on yourself. So now you have two options: 1) tell him your regrets and ask him to plan something else so it will be a surprise or 2) realize that a lot of times in life things don't turn out the way we imagined they would and let him propose the way he already has planned.

ravenray · November 2012

When my H proposed he enlisted the help of my BFF. You brought this upon yourself. Either tell him that you would like him to plan it or suck it up and deal with it.

cu97tiger · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:7ed410ed-b2fc-4a76-909e-d9f546beee38">Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't posted much yet here, but I've had an account since this Summer when my boyfriend and I started seriously discussing marriage. It started as just talk but, a few serious conversations later we realized that marriage wasn't all that far off (in 2 and a half years I'll have to go to school 2 hours away for 4 years and his job will keep him here, we decided we wanted to be married for a year before that happens to be able to enjoy that first year together and not wait nearly 7 years for it to happen.) Since that decision, the process to engagement has been a bit crazy. We started with him saying he wanted to propose by the end of the year, and us deciding to pick a ring together to get one I liked and that looked good on me. We decided once it was picked he would buy it and plan a surprise proposal. Once the ring was picked, being a naturally curious person, I asked him if he'd planned anything yet (I didn't want to know details, I was just curious to see his progress because he's a naturally indecisive person and isn't used to planning things, especially surprises. After months of him going back and forth between telling me he was nervous and telling me he was excited and would buy the ring soon, he finally asked for my help planning. I always liked the idea of a proposal in a nice restaurant over dinner, so I told him that and made a list of local restaurants that looked good, later adding some other non-restaurant ideas in case he wanted to surprise me more. As time went on, he finally made his plan and told me several days he wanted to go out on, the idea being to surprise me with which he would ask me with. Finally, this past weekend has left only two remaining dates left on his list, one of which had to be canceled due to an error in his planning. This leaves me knowing 1. the ring (I only haven't seen it fitted, otherwise I know every other detail about it) 2. where he's asking, and for the most part how and 3. when he's asking within an hour of when it will be. I love planning surprises but always hoped to have someone surprise me for a change, especially with a once in a lifetime event like a proposal. I'm still excited, but when it hit me tonight that one thing I always looked forward to as a surprise ended up being something I almost planned myself, I ended up in tears. I'm not really sure the point to this post, just wanted to share with some people who might understand and see if anyone had any thoughts on it I suppose. Thanks!!
Posted by Sarah Vorherr2Jung[/QUOTE]

<div>Also, you might want to take your full name and BFs last name out of your screenname. It makes you really easy to google or find on Facebook. And people on the interwebz can be crazy.</div>

steign · November 2012

I agree with Tiger.

Also, I just noticed you have a ticker in your signature. So you have a date set?

LaSak87 · November 2012

If your username is your real name, it would be best to change it for privacy.

yogahh · November 2012

As someone totally type A and wants control, I can understand where you are coming from. Unlike the other PPS, I wont say this is your fault...but I thnk you need to look past the proposal and remember its just another day. What you will really remember is the wedding and MARRIAGE that follows. Dont get too upset about the proposal, but if you think it will help, talk to SO...

Daizy106 · November 2012

your proposal will not be a surprise at all because you already spoiled it by going shopping for a ring with him..you are already expecting it.

beanbot2002 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:84ac282c-a3df-4fae-85fc-f3714c99bc57">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]As someone totally type A and wants control, I can understand where you are coming from. Unlike the other PPS, I wont say this is your fault...but I thnk you need to look past the proposal and remember its just another day. What you will really remember is the wedding and MARRIAGE that follows. Dont get too upset about the proposal, but if you think it will help, talk to SO...
Posted by iwantcake[/QUOTE]

Wait. So, she tells him she wants a surprise, then turns around and plans the whole thing herself, and it's NOT her fault that it's no longer a surprise?
Please. Elighten me.

While I agree that the focus should be on the marriage part of it, I don't agree that it's 'just another day'. It's a pretty big deal.

peekaboo2011 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:2490877b-5714-41a6-94ce-2a794850bfd6">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]your proposal will not be a surprise at all because you already spoiled it by going shopping for a ring with him..you are already expecting it.
Posted by Daizy106[/QUOTE]

<div>Not really. BF and I have already been ring shopping...accidentally. I'm not expecting shite from him. And even if we had been seriously looking, that doesn't make the proposal any less of a surprise.</div>

Daizy106 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:9c85ea69-fd3b-4eb4-bbe5-313514ca6da3">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : Not really. BF and I have already been ring shopping...accidentally. I'm not expecting shite from him. And even if we had been seriously looking, that doesn't make the proposal any less of a surprise.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
Its one thing to accidentally shop for rings, like you just happened to be at a jewlery store and said lets look at rings, its another thing to actually go shopping, pick a ring, pay for it. We all have different opinions and mine is that it ruins the element of surprise. The whole idea is to not have any idea what the ring looks like or when to expect a proposal. If you were there when he bought the ring, you know he is going to propose--so where is the surprise? THe only thing left is..omg when is he going to do it?! Thats so backwards to me. I am so proud of my ring because of the fact that my fiance designed the ring all on his own. He found out what I like by making little comments here and there like "what do you think of this or that". When he proposed, it was out of the blue and so amazing. I can't imagine why a girl would not want to be surprised in every aspect of her wedding proposal. Again, we all have different opions and this is mine.

peekaboo2011 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:1e1226bc-7ee5-487f-bd4a-aa99c8e80bbb">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : Its one thing to accidentally shop for rings, like you just happened to be at a jewlery store and said lets look at rings, its another thing to actually go shopping, pick a ring, pay for it. We all have different opinions and mine is that it ruins the element of surprise. The whole idea is to not have any idea what the ring looks like or when to expect a proposal. If you were there when he bought the ring, you know he is going to propose--so where is the surprise? THe only thing left is..omg when is he going to do it?! Thats so backwards to me. I am so proud of my ring because of the fact that my fiance designed the ring all on his own. He found out what I like by making little comments here and there like "what do you think of this or that". When he proposed, it was out of the blue and so amazing. I can't imagine why a girl would not want to be surprised in every aspect of her wedding proposal. Again, we all have different opions and this is mine.
Posted by Daizy106[/QUOTE]

<div>You should probably have some inkling that it's going to happen. I mean, like, having talked about it before hand. No marriage proposal should ever be completely out of the blue.</div><div>
</div><div>OP - Are you engaged or not?</div><div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_anyone-have-experience-with-drees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:108Discussion:63299aee-d7d7-442f-a343-5f4aac183babPost:1ae5754e-08fc-4785-953a-65401a647a8d">Anyone have experience with Drees?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone! My fiance and I are looking into buying a custom built home by Drees in the Cincinnati/ Northern Kentucky area and were wondering if anyone who lives in or has purchased a Dress home could tell us if this is a good choice. We've read some bad reviews from 2007-2009 of Drees homes in other cities, but haven't been able to find any local or current reviews. Thanks
Posted by Sarah Vorherr2Jung[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_save-the-date-wording-to-go-with-engagement-photo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8b40e1c1-45e8-4add-a348-3f4961251db5Post:a55018f7-b2d4-45a3-8434-61ee3a8b4a5f">Save the date wording to go with engagement photo</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! This is my first post on The Knot and I had a question for anyone who can help me. My fiance and I plan to include photos of us holding hands and jumping into his swimming pool together and were hoping to use one of these photos on our save the dates (July wedding). We were also hoping to word the save the dates to go along with the picture. We were thinking something like "Join Sarah and Alex as they jump into married life together on July 14th" or something like that, but weren't sure how that sounded or if there were better ways to word it. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Posted by Sarah Vorherr2Jung[/QUOTE]
</div>

yogahh · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:85d61c12-8004-4f24-8087-fb684ed345e8">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : Wait. So, she tells him she wants a surprise, then turns around and plans the whole thing herself, and it's NOT her fault that it's no longer a surprise? Please. Elighten me. While I agree that the focus should be on the marriage part of it, I don't agree that it's 'just another day'. It's a pretty big deal.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

I think its rude how women on this board speak to eachother. I was on another board for a while that cautioned others to join TK because of this...and Im done after a week because of it. OK, she made a mistake....do you really think she needs a dozen strangers pointing this out to her??? Nothing she does now can really undo it, so instead of placing blame, how about giving some suggestions or kind words??? Is this how you all speak to people you know?

And yes, the day of the proposal is important, but look big picture here....it leads to a MARRIAGE, which to me, trumps any proposal or wedding ceremony any day. Those are days. A marriage is a lifetime

peekaboo2011 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:d5f26fd5-2521-4528-a686-9684a0cd1c1f">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) :<strong> I think its rude how women on this board speak to eachother. I was on another board for a while that cautioned others to join TK because of this...and Im done after a week because of it. OK, she made a mistake....do you really think she needs a dozen strangers pointing this out to her??? Nothing she does now can really undo it, so instead of placing blame, how about giving some suggestions or kind words??? Is this how you all speak to people you know? </strong>And yes, the day of the proposal is important, but look big picture here....it leads to a MARRIAGE, which to me, trumps any proposal or wedding ceremony any day. Those are days. A marriage is a lifetime
Posted by iwantcake[/QUOTE]

<div>You must be a weddingbee girl.</div><div>
</div><div>We're not rude or hateful. We'll give you a good solid dose of honesty rather than blow sunshine and rainbows up your arse. Bean is one of my best friends IRL, and you can bet your britches if she came to me complaining about how she had planned her proposal and was feeling sad about it, I'd smack some sense into her.</div><div>
</div><div>Another friend, who posts on here, had her FI wanting to do the courthouse wedding and then have a pretty princess day. I told her that I wasn't going to support that nonsense and she needed to tell him to knock it off - I'd support one wedding or the other, but I wasn't going to quietly sit down and let her lie to people about being engaged. Harsh? Maybe. Needed? Definitely. And everyone on here would do the same for me. I can guarantee you that.</div>

bethsmiles · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:d5f26fd5-2521-4528-a686-9684a0cd1c1f">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : I think its rude how women on this board speak to eachother. I was on another board for a while that cautioned others to join TK because of this...and Im done after a week because of it. OK, she made a mistake....do you really think she needs a dozen strangers pointing this out to her??? Nothing she does now can really undo it, so instead of placing blame, how about giving some suggestions or kind words??? Is this how you all speak to people you know? And yes, the day of the proposal is important, but look big picture here....it leads to a MARRIAGE, which to me, trumps any proposal or wedding ceremony any day. Those are days. A marriage is a lifetime
Posted by iwantcake[/QUOTE]

You need to chill. I don't think anyone here was unnecessarily unkind or cruel. Women on this board tend to blunt and honest when people post asking for opinions. She was given suggestions (that she could ask him to re-plan the proposal without her help or accept the way things are).

Also, you're over-use of punctuation is rather annoying and it doesn't help make your point any clearer.

And I don't think anyone here said that the proposal or the wedding are more important than the marriage so I'm not sure why that little rant was necessary.

Swazzle · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:d5f26fd5-2521-4528-a686-9684a0cd1c1f">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : I think its rude how women on this board speak to eachother. I was on another board for a while that cautioned others to join TK because of this...and Im done after a week because of it. <strong>OK, she made a mistake....do you really think she needs a dozen strangers pointing this out to her???</strong> Nothing she does now can really undo it, so instead of placing blame, how about giving some suggestions or kind words??? Is this how you all speak to people you know? And yes, the day of the proposal is important, but look big picture here....it leads to a MARRIAGE, which to me, trumps any proposal or wedding ceremony any day. Those are days. A marriage is a lifetime
Posted by iwantcake[/QUOTE]

<div>Then she probably shouldn't have come on a message board FULL OF INTERNET STRANGERS to vent about it. It's not freaking rocket science. </div><div>
</div><div>Enjoy running back to WeddingBee. </div>

ROBINRENE5 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:7ed410ed-b2fc-4a76-909e-d9f546beee38">Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't posted much yet here, but I've had an account since this Summer when my boyfriend and I started seriously discussing marriage. It started as just talk but, a few serious conversations later we realized that marriage wasn't all that far off (<strong>in 2 and a half years I'll have to go to school 2 hours away for 4 years and his job will keep him here, we decided we wanted to be married for a year before that happens to be able to enjoy that first year together and not wait nearly 7 years for it to happen.</strong>) Since that decision, the process to engagement has been a bit crazy. We started with him saying he wanted to propose by the end of the year, and us deciding to pick a ring together to get one I liked and that looked good on me. We decided once it was picked he would buy it and plan a surprise proposal. Once the ring was picked, being a naturally curious person, I asked him if he'd planned anything yet (I didn't want to know details, I was just curious to see his progress because he's a naturally indecisive person and isn't used to planning things, especially surprises. After months of him going back and forth between telling me he was nervous and telling me he was excited and would buy the ring soon, he finally asked for my help planning. I always liked the idea of a proposal in a nice restaurant over dinner, so I told him that and made a list of local restaurants that looked good, later adding some other non-restaurant ideas in case he wanted to surprise me more. As time went on, he finally made his plan and told me several days he wanted to go out on, the idea being to surprise me with which he would ask me with. Finally, this past weekend has left only two remaining dates left on his list, one of which had to be canceled due to an error in his planning. This leaves me knowing 1. the ring (I only haven't seen it fitted, otherwise I know every other detail about it) 2. where he's asking, and for the most part how and 3. when he's asking within an hour of when it will be. I love planning surprises but always hoped to have someone surprise me for a change, especially with a once in a lifetime event like a proposal. I'm still excited, but when it hit me tonight that one thing I always looked forward to as a surprise ended up being something I almost planned myself, I ended up in tears. I'm not really sure the point to this post, just wanted to share with some people who might understand and see if anyone had any thoughts on it I suppose. Thanks!!
Posted by Sarah Vorherr2Jung[/QUOTE]

How old are you? You say you will be going away to school in 2.5 years, does this mean you will be graduating HS in 2.5 years and going away to college?

Assuming you are out of HS already, I think you are making a big deal out of a "surprise" proposal. If you really wanted a surprise (his choice), you shouldn't have planned it for him in the first place. To me, it seems like you want a perfectly planned surprise, which may not be what you will get if he plans it on his own. Why don't you just tell him that you changed your mind and don't want to be a part of the plan, you just want to see what he comes up with on his own. Some people have magical proposals that you would see on a movie, and some have regular ole' proposals. Both are special and neither is better than the other. As PP sais, it is a special day, but your going to be ENGAGED, which is such an exciting time regardless of the way he proposed.

beanbot2002 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:d5f26fd5-2521-4528-a686-9684a0cd1c1f">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : I think its rude how women on this board speak to eachother. I was on another board for a while that cautioned others to join TK because of this...and Im done after a week because of it. OK, she made a mistake....do you really think she needs a dozen strangers pointing this out to her??? Nothing she does now can really undo it, so instead of placing blame, how about giving some suggestions or kind words??? Is this how you all speak to people you know? And yes, the day of the proposal is important, but look big picture here....it leads to a MARRIAGE, which to me, trumps any proposal or wedding ceremony any day. Those are days. A marriage is a lifetime
Posted by iwantcake[/QUOTE]

Actually, yes. What I posted I would say to any of my friends in real life. It's called honesty. If frienship, to you, is sugar coating everything, well then I wouldn't want to be your friend. I want my friends to be honest with me at all times. Even when it isn't what I want to hear, it's what I need to hear.

Her question/sadness were about the proposal. That's what I answered. And, if you will go back and re-read my original reply, I said "Either way, your bf wants to propose to you." Indicating that regardless of how it's done, the point is that he wants to marry her.

Please, in the name of all that is holy, GBCK.

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

RobinRen -- I'm not in high school, I'd be going to graduate school (the closest one for what I plan to specialize in is 2 hours away).

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:1e7c18ad-1e19-4a1d-a90e-839c9dfc187f">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]. Also, I just noticed you have a ticker in your signature. So you have a date set?
Posted by steign[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>We have a tentitive date set though we're not officially setting it until we get a change to discuss with parents etc.</div>

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

To everyone: I'm very excited about the engagement etc itself, I just had always looked forward to the proposal as a surprise since I was a kid. I also didn't mind helping give ideas (especially with locations etc) because he's not the best at picking/ deciding that kind of thing.

I was mostly upset at knowing the date, because the when was always the main surprise factor in my mind.

And no, I can't ask him to change it because the date is about a week away, so it could be a huge hassle to try to cancel anything he has planned and then reschedule it later.

I guess I was just hoping for some encouragement from others who weren't surprised that it'll still be as exciting as it would be as a surprise.

P.s. Everyone jumping down iwantcake's throat about her thinking people here aren't all that kind are being pretty unkind. It's one thing to try to tell someone an unwanted truth, it's another to yell and tell them "Enjoy running back to WeddingBee."

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:af294354-b16d-4e86-9817-d5fd5ffc2c11">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant) : Then she probably shouldn't have come on a message board FULL OF INTERNET STRANGERS to vent about it.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

<div>I did come to a board of people who are also not yet engaged on a wedding website, while you're strangers some of you might have been in a similar situation, that's why I posted. I chose to post this here for specifically that reason. </div>

Vintagelove4 · November 2012

@ OP: You wanted if perfect so you sacrificed surprise. No big deal, he could still do the "dinner proposal" a thousand different ways so breath.

Well all that being said, congrats on your engagement and have a wonderful life.

@iwantcake (aka weddingbee-spy-who-failed): These women are bluntly honest and smack some sense into you when you need it. They also care for each other a ton and are fun to talk with. If you can't handle that then it's your loss.

Sarah Vorherr2Jung · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-thing-hit-me-as-sad-all-of-a-sudden-long-post-semi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:20491cca-4616-4f47-b075-8cfc693ae716Post:4770a6ab-52de-4fef-a0a8-b72c298a2a03">Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]It happens. I was kind of in the same situation. We were on vacation and I kinda figured it would happen then. So I asked to go on a romantic beach dinner, because I thought it would be perfect. He surprised me by asking over lunch the day before. Totally unromantic, but totally surprised, still pretty perfect. :) I'm not sure how that really helps your situation, but trust me when I tell you you aren't the only one that pulls the bonehead move. Either way, you won't be let down. You'll be engaged and excited!
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE]<div>
thanks :) </div>

Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)

Re: Weird thing hit me as sad all of a sudden (long post, semi-rant)

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