Evening!

MyUserName1 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:6d35a97c-6a8e-4e9e-8dda-6265e8143659">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't even understand why your FMIL thinks it's any of her business who is or isn't at your house. Nutty.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

<div>woooooord.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, they don't even want to stay with us. BECAUSE THEY HAVE A NEWBORN. they want their privacy just as much. How's the kid supposed to take a nap with me working on wedding shizz in the next room? Oh, wait, i should just leave my house and do it at the starbucks because to not bend over backwards for everyone else at our own wedding is "not accomodating" according to FFIL.</div>

MyUserName1 · April 2012

And yeah, Steph, he is. He is the total opposite of his family and good about not letting them railroad me.

Bay, that literally made me LOL.

Loopyseven · April 2012

Oh.. so it's not your FSIL/FBIL asking.. it's your FFIL being a douchenozzle?

MyUserName1 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:c1f15b56-498c-4891-a16f-8048ef760d6c">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh.. so it's not your FSIL/FBIL asking.. it's your FFIL being a douchenozzle?
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

<div>yeeeep. and it's actually FI's best friend, not brother. So even less of FFIL's business.</div>

pokepoke27 · April 2012

Muni - at least your FI is on your side on this one. My FI keeps telling me he's "torn" in the difference of opinion between his mother and I. And I don't think there is anything to be torn about >.<

baystateapple · April 2012

Glad to help, MUN1

Trust, after four years of the worst FIL ever, I give approximately zero fucks. My FIL is a bastard.

StephBeanWed61502 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:e7342493-f114-4128-a516-1b1f30ea29be">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]Muni - at least your FI is on your side on this one. My FI keeps telling me he's "torn" in the difference of opinion between his mother and I. And I don't think there is anything to be torn about />.<
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

Dear Poke's FI,

Unless <em>your mother</em> is going to do you on a regular basis, "torn" is not the way to be about differences of opinion between Poke and your mother.

YWIA,
StephBean

MyUserName1 · April 2012

Mine thinks he's Don Corleone and his family is The Family. and you should do things to your own detriment to avoid mildly incoveniencing Family. But they're SO RUDE to each other on a daily basis. It's sort of fascinating, actually.

I drink a LOT around FI's family. Mine is so easy in comparison. We're so WASPY and polite to each other.

angelstar975 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:80a64bc8-18af-4437-a882-a9416001ee47">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Evening! : Dear Poke's FI, Unless your mother is going to do you on a regular basis, "torn" is not the way to be about differences of opinion between Poke and your mother. YWIA, StephBean
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Haha, I like this.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

Bree - In my mind the conversation went like this

"You are always 5 minutes late to work. Here is a raise." and it made me giggle.

Bay - Since I'm still kinda new I don't know all about your FIL, and I'm sorry to hear he's a bastard. My mom is a PITA but at least she's a generally nice person.

angelstar975 · April 2012

My family drives me up a wall.. FI's family drives him up a wall... we each like the other's family just fine.

Loopyseven · April 2012

What is the difference of opinion between you and your FMIL Poke?

Bree - oops - 5 minutes is no biggie - do you stay 5 minutes late?

MyUserName1 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:80a64bc8-18af-4437-a882-a9416001ee47">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Evening! : Dear Poke's FI, Unless your mother is going to do you on a regular basis, "torn" is not the way to be about differences of opinion between Poke and your mother. YWIA, StephBean
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

<div>Print that one out and stick it on the fridge, Poke.</div>

pokepoke27 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:80a64bc8-18af-4437-a882-a9416001ee47">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Evening! : Dear Poke's FI, Unless your mother is going to do you on a regular basis, "torn" is not the way to be about differences of opinion between Poke and your mother. YWIA, StephBean
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

<div>LMAO! </div><div>
</div><div>I actually don't expect him to just take my side because I'm going to be his wife - if I'm wrong then I'm wrong. But really - don't just sit there and say you're "torn". Pick an opinion and go with it. The way he handled it was arguing his mothers side to me and pissing me off and then arguing my side to his mother and pissing her off. So then, both of us were pissed at him and wishing we could just communicate directly lol.</div>

ErinG93 · April 2012

I'm always all over the place as far as getting to work. Usually between 8:00 AM - 8:50 AM. My boss doesn't care, not even a little.

baystateapple · April 2012

Steph -- switch "mother" to "anyone else" and it's perfect lol.

Poke, eh, it is what it is. He's always been a douche, he doesn't even talk to H or his brothers. He's addressed me a grand total of 5 times in the last four years. And showed up 20 seconds before our wedding after making my sweet MIL cry. He's a winner.

MyUserName1 · April 2012

I'm curious as to your difference of opinion as well, poke. Care to share?

StephBeanWed61502 · April 2012

Poke, to be clear, I agree, I don't actually think FIs need to take our side always, the "torn" thing just led me to conclude that he most likely agrees with you but is having a hard time telling his mom to stuff it, and that's not cool.

Also, there's a time and a place to play devil's advocate, and "while trying to mediate a disagreement between my mother and my FI" isn't it.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:6392b53e-33c5-4b83-a05c-87da5400a4a1">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the difference of opinion between you and your FMIL Poke? Bree - oops - 5 minutes is no biggie - do you stay 5 minutes late?
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, her best friends (husband and wife) have been very kind and welcoming to me every time I've been over there and I quite like them. Plus, I was talking wedding with them a lot over the summer. FMIL then decides to tell me she doesn't want them invited because if they come it will ruin her vacation because she'll be "babysitting" them. But I don't want the only people outside of his family that I'm going to know in the entire country thinking that I'm rude and didn't want them at the wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>Turns out it doesn't matter anyways because the husband pleaded with FMIL to not give them an invitation because his wife will want to go and he can't afford it and can't say no.</div>

angelstar975 · April 2012

I can't be late for work, because then the parents would be late for work and would be pretty annoyed with me. I was 2 1/2 hours late because of snow once, (the drive *should* have taken 40 minutes and I even left early, it was awful) but luckily the mom worked from home at the time so it was okay.

ErinG93 · April 2012

I'm really glad my schedule is flexible. If I'm having particularly bad anxiety sometimes it takes a long, long time for me to get out of the house.

Loopyseven · April 2012

Poke - that stinks. FWIW, I'd agree with you, that they should be invited.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

Oh yeah Steph - I wasn't saying that you DID think he should always side with me and you're right, he does have a hard time telling his mother no. But to be fair she's had a hard life and both of us want to make as many things easier on her as we can. I really do love my FMIL.

PetalPockets2012 · April 2012

Muni - Sorry about your FILs.

I have been trying to tell FI that we cannot have anyone stay with us before the wedding. I become a giant stress ball when company is coming and I don't want anyone in our house right before our wedding. If anyone is going to stay with us, it would be my BF since she is so easy going and I don't have to try to impress her.

Oh, and I love that letter Steph. It made me laugh.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

Loopy - Like I said, it worked itself out in the end. But thanks - it makes me feel better than I'm just not crazy lol.

ErinG93 · April 2012

Huh. Someone on Dr. Phil just said, "Crumble like an iceberg." I didn't realize icebergs were super crumbly.

angelstar975 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:ddb819b8-169d-425e-9dde-6b25a48afd5c">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really glad my schedule is flexible. If I'm having particularly bad anxiety sometimes it takes a long, long time for me to get out of the house.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

Do you have social anxiety or just anxiety in general? I'm pretty sure I have generalized anxiety disorder, but it's undiagnosed. I have medicine for occasional anxiety, but it's getting to be more than occasional. I feel like I'm anxious for a part of the day on a daily basis now.

StephBeanWed61502 · April 2012

Erin, I'm not sure that's really a thing. Actually, I assume all of the "regular joe" guests on those shows are kind of on the dumb side until proven otherwise.

angelstar975 · April 2012

I'm down to my last 4 pieces of sushi... I hate when my sushi is almost gone

Poke - I'm glad it worked itself out, but FWIW, I think you were in the right.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ddfe269-52b2-4625-a247-0d2b383e5c2fPost:0706bb87-3103-43bc-a79f-f075817dc856">Re: Evening!</a>:
[QUOTE]Huh. Someone on Dr. Phil just said, "Crumble like an iceberg." I didn't realize icebergs were super crumbly.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah - that's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think crumbly.</div>

Evening!

Re: Evening!

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