Confessions

shayNnik · November 2011

Spiffy-I think I might start doing that. The main problem was the DJ list. I gave him 3 weeks to give inputs and my weekly reminders were bugging him so he said he didn't care as long as there was alot of country. I put together (IMO) a kickass list. Old school, 90's, you name it. He took one look at it and said he didn't even know most of them so 60ish of the 100 we automatically ruled out. Grrrrr!!! I like your thinking though. If I hadn't said anything he wouldn't even know until the wedding and by then he won't even notice or care. Kendall-just a suggestion(again, because I know others have already said this), just take an extra second to consider what you're saying. You are allowed to feel the way you do, everyone's feelings are different. I think you could just word things different so they don't come across the way you aren't intending them to. Instead of 'I'm frustrated about changing my name' try 'I didn't realize how difficult this would be and how much stress it could cause'. Just a thought.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

Shay, yesterday I wrote her an incredibly LONG, relatively nice PM about ways she could better her friendships (or lack thereof) here. She looked at it once and that was that.
I don't think she cares, or at least that is the impression she has given me.

WOW
I cannot believe Kendall got Crown to blow up... I'm... speechless. O.o bahahahahahhahaah

you so much crown.

I agree Hike. I think the newlywed deal is total bull. I kinda could see myself having that feeling if we have gotten to take a HM and took it right after the wedding.. Because then you have the excitement of the wedding still fresh in your head as you leave for an exciting adventure... but other than that... I think it's crap. And I'm okay with that. I love H so much

Every day I love him more than the last. I'll take that over newlywed feelings

)

firsttimersluck · November 2011

Confession: This is why I feel like we need to just do the silent treatment. Petty? Yes. Absolutely. That's why it's my confession.
But Kendall comes on, pisses us off, then doesn't respond to back herself up or apologize or ANYTHING. Why are we still putting up with it? I have tried to be nice and say little. I tried in my one and only PM to her. She clearly doesn't care. I am starting to believe she IS MUD and some random AE like the one that happend to the military nest. Sileeeennnnttt treatment. She's going to act like a child, we should treat her like one. *time out*

melbelle24 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:5d5a16fd-876f-48eb-848f-dede3dcd989a">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Confession: <strong>This is why I feel like we need to just do the silent treatment. </strong>Petty? Yes. Absolutely. That's why it's my confession. But Kendall comes on, pisses us off, then doesn't respond to back herself up or apologize or ANYTHING. Why are we still putting up with it? I have tried to be nice and say little. I tried in my one and only PM to her. She clearly doesn't care. I am starting to believe she IS MUD and some random AE like the one that happend to the military nest. Sileeeennnnttt treatment. She's going to act like a child, we should treat her like one. *time out*
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
FTL, I think you have a brilliant idea there.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

OH OH ALSO!!! This makes an incredible read:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19520_5-insane-ways-fear-masturbation-shaped-modern-world.html

It's 5 things that were created by the fear of masturbation in US History (with extra history thrown in like the Prince Charles piercing was from Roman times to keep boys from doin the dirty) Short list if you don't want to read:
5. Circumcision
4. Breakfast cereals/ Graham Crackers
3. Daily Showers
2. Boy Scouts (by a perv) and YMCA (H is scarred, as his family is a family of eagle scouts!)
1. Vibrators. Yup.

Aaaahh amazing read!

AmandaSC1988 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:5d5a16fd-876f-48eb-848f-dede3dcd989a">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Confession: This is why I feel like we need to just do the silent treatment. Petty? Yes. Absolutely. That's why it's my confession. But Kendall comes on, pisses us off, then doesn't respond to back herself up or apologize or ANYTHING. Why are we still putting up with it? I have tried to be nice and say little. I tried in my one and only PM to her. She clearly doesn't care. I am starting to believe she IS MUD and some random AE like the one that happend to the military nest. Sileeeennnnttt treatment. She's going to act like a child, we should treat her like one. *time out*
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

<div>I've been trying to do this for a while. Most of the time I roll my eyes and ignore it. </div>

firsttimersluck · November 2011

Mel and Amanda- truth.
I just find myself ignoring.. and when I don't I totally snap. And I don't like snappy FTL, so I need to be better at it.

melbelle24 · November 2011

Yeah, I'm the same way. Most of the time, I try to stay out o the Kendall drama. I don't have the time or te desire to deal with her usually. Sometimes I like snappy FTL though!

firsttimersluck · November 2011

hahaha I'm glad you like her... I just don't want myself to become that bitter person ALL THE TIME. That's my fear. Because I'm not that person. I'm pretty light-hearted... I just hate anything that isn't logical.. It's the math in me.
*sigh* bedtime.. Night mel

SamiJoeB · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:d455ea31-b29d-4e92-99ae-d4c0d1f2fab5">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : I have to say the same thing as Sami! Do not try to open this with me. I understand that yes I know what I married. However, as a newlywed, my H deployed. Yes I knew it was coming, I knew he was going to be leaving. We made choices based on that. However, Kendall, do not open that can of worms up as we are spending our newlywed year apart. I have tried to be nice and let you say your peace about your wedding but DO NOT compare your working and such with what some of other ladies and I are going through etc. deployment or duty station in another country. Sorry I am normally not this b!tchy but H has had a very bad day and I cannot make it better and you comparing a Target job (however good it is) to what I am going through is just nonsense.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

All of this! Sorry but your Target job & Security job don't really compare to your H being IN ANOTHER COUNTRY 2 weeks after you say "I do" and not getting to physically see him or touch him when he's upset, or when you're upset. FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. Walk a mile in Our (Mine and Crown's specifically) shoes and then see if you have the right to b!tch about not getting to be a newlywed. Do you not understand that its sh!tty comments like these that make everyone dislike you so freaking much?! Seriously?! Pull your head out of your ass before you post.

LetsHikeToday · November 2011

I have another confession. I don't think joe paterno did the right thing but I feel bad for him. He's being made a national scapegoat. A monster committed these crimes, not him.

BinxRose · November 2011

Sami and Crown- my FI will be deploying soon after our wedding too. We may do a minimoon, just rent a cabin or something for a weekend. But otherwise our real HM in Greece is being put off til our 1-year anniversary. And those three weeks will mostly be spent getting things done like getting me my military ID, getting on his insurance, getting my name changed, so no "newlywed time" for us either. FTL- I try my best to ignore pretty much any post Kendall makes. But every once a while, the things that come out of her mouth irk me and I can't even help myself! You know what would make it easier to ignore her drama-llama MUD? If I (and anyone else) just blocked her so I don't even see her dumb-a$$ comments. Edit: first paragraph now more vague for possible OPSEC/PERSEC

firsttimersluck · November 2011

I forgot you can block people.. hmmmmmm...

Also, Hikey we're kinda talking about it in the Hump day thread, but I agree that Penn State has taken this too far. This poor guy. I think he DID do what we was suppose to. He DID contact campus athorities (even though they are the actual police or anything) as well as his direct superior. Anything HE says would be hearsay, so him contacting any more than that would be a little extreme for him. Maybe he could have encouraged this grad student more to take action.. Idk. but hindsight is 20/20, JoPa is a great coach witha great record on AND off the field, and didn't deserve to be stuck with all of this crap on him the year of his retirement. I feel badly for him because I bet HE feels badly about the whole situation, and now it's going to be burned into for that last years of his life that he could have and should have done more. That kind of guilt shouldn't be on him.

crownsuperstar · November 2011

Aw FTL you make me blush! I don't get upset that often but this one just flew all over me.

2nd ditto to everything Sami said.

Binx- Hugs to you. My advise (I am sure you already do) is just to enjoy every second of this time you both have together and the excitement of the wedding.

Now...

Kendall- This will hopefully be my last time talking/posting to you as I just give up. I have been around to see you make statements and then come back and give the big "I am sorry and have changed" post but you never do. There are some wonderful ladies on this board and you could learn a lot from them. You instead tend to p!ss people off a lot with most of what you post. I don't know if you mean to, if you don't understand that what you are saying is just wrong or if you just like drama. My thought is that you just like drama and that Kendall shows your true age and that you are just a child needing attention. Please think about what you are posting and before hitting the "Add Post" button ask yourself should I post this are will this hurt feelings or could this be taking the wrong way. If the answer to this question yes than do yourself a favor and DO NOT post it. So good luck Kendall with your life and marriage as I will not be responding or reading anything that you post any more.

calindi · November 2011

Spiffy & Shay - my guy is the same way. We had a whole discussion about how I was frustrated that he wasn't more involved in planning, that it made me feel like he didn't want the wedding. And he put it to me this way: "It's like Disney World. I really, really want to go and I'm going to have a lot of fun, but I don't really feel like training the actors and building the sets first. I'm just as happy to just show up." Which actually makes a lot of sense to me, so now I'm giving him blanket decisions - "Give me a list of songs you want and songs or artists you don't want by X day or else I'm doing all the choosing." Or "I've narrowed it down to these two options - do you care which one?"

As far as Kendall goes, FTL, I think you're being a hypocrite. You told us all to ignore her, but then you're the first one now to just feed into the drama. Don't try and tell anyone else what to do, just do it yourself. I respond to her when she has legitimate questions, and I try to play nice, but I don't feed the drama and I won't be a bully. If you need to for your own sanity to ignore her, then block her. Others can do the same.

Kendall, you need to grow up quickly. You're married now, and you need to learn to interact with people in a mature and sensitive manner. That means thinking before you speak. Which means when you're on a board with a bunch of ladies who you know aren't your biggest fans to begin with, and you also know many of them didn't get more than a few days with their spouse after their wedding, then you should learn to be more diplomatic. It'll do you a lot of good in the long run if you figure that out, and it'll suck really bad to be you if you continue to piss off everyone around you if you keep acting like this. Think before you speak.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:3211698b-7fe5-486e-8416-04f4aedf4d1f">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Spiffy & Shay - my guy is the same way. We had a whole discussion about how I was frustrated that he wasn't more involved in planning, that it made me feel like he didn't want the wedding. And he put it to me this way: "It's like Disney World. I really, really want to go and I'm going to have a lot of fun, but I don't really feel like training the actors and building the sets first. I'm just as happy to just show up." Which actually makes a lot of sense to me, so now I'm giving him blanket decisions - "Give me a list of songs you want and songs or artists you don't want by X day or else I'm doing all the choosing." Or "I've narrowed it down to these two options - do you care which one?" As far as Kendall goes, FTL, I think you're being a hypocrite. You told us all to ignore her, but then you're the first one now to just feed into the drama. Don't try and tell anyone else what to do, just do it yourself. I respond to her when she has legitimate questions, and I try to play nice, but I don't feed the drama and I won't be a bully. If you need to for your own sanity to ignore her, then block her. Others can do the same. Kendall, you need to grow up quickly. You're married now, and you need to learn to interact with people in a mature and sensitive manner. That means thinking before you speak. Which means when you're on a board with a bunch of ladies who you know aren't your biggest fans to begin with, and you also know many of them didn't get more than a few days with their spouse after their wedding, then you should learn to be more diplomatic. It'll do you a lot of good in the long run if you figure that out, and it'll suck really bad to be you if you continue to piss off everyone around you if you keep acting like this. Think before you speak.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I'm not a hypocrite. I suggested something in that mutliway email and no one cared for the idea so I dropped it. How is that hypocritical? If I had suggested We DON'T bake cookies everyone disagrees so we move on from that, and then decide to bake cookies, that doesn't make me a hypocrite.
It does nothing to stop the drama if ONE person stops talking about it. And this is not her first drama spill since that email. I wasn't the "first person" to get on her.. In this thread? sure. But not since that email and I made that suggestion.
You think telling her to "grow up quickly" is answering one of her legitimate questions? I'm pretty sure she didn't ask for your advice in this thread about how to be more diplomatic and what she did wrong, and yet you're discussing that with her. You just called me a hypocrite, then became one yourself.

ggirl2001 · November 2011

FTL-as a Coach he is a mandated reporter, so that means regardless of what his superiors did he can report it as well (even if is hearsay) without them even knowing actually. They all f*cked up by not reporting.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

AHIn Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:c8358c45-3873-41d8-abc7-72661e5e3b48">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]FTL-as a Coach he is a mandated reporter, so that means regardless of what his superiors did he can report it as well (even if is hearsay) without them even knowing actually. They all f*cked up by not reporting.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I suppose that's a fair argument. I mean.. Do I think he should have done more? Yeah. Although if someone came to me and said that someone I know and have been close with for YEARS was doing something horrible... I would be a little hesitant to believe them.. Regardless, that's a fair point you make... The prosecution deemed him not guilt in this situation, though... So I just feel like the whole firing was a dramatic play by the college for monetary purposes. That's what annoys me most I think. :P

ggirl2001 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:cae26420-d994-46ed-a458-dab513b93046">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]AHIn Response to Re: Confessions : Yeah, I suppose that's a fair argument. I mean.. Do I think he should have done more? Yeah. Although if someone came to me and said that someone I know and have been close with for YEARS was doing something horrible... I would be a little hesitant to believe them.. Regardless, that's a fair point you make... The prosecution deemed him not guilt in this situation, though... So I just feel like the whole firing was a dramatic play by the college for monetary purposes. That's what annoys me most I think. :P
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
I think the college has to fire everyone just to clean house, and as a non biased person since I don't really watch college football, I can get behind that. It's too big of a scandal to not get rid of EVERYONE, and thats what they need to do and haven't done yet unfortunately. <div>
</div><div>H brought up a good point, it never would have gotten this far because the guy would have gotten his ass kicked the minute he saw something happening. </div>

firsttimersluck · November 2011

haha
This is one of those things where authority is scary... That grad student was probably in shock and thinking "would anyone believe me if I told someone?! Would IIII get in trouble?! Would it get turned around on me!? Would I get a bad reputation because no one would believe me!?"
But If I had been that grad student I would have told a LOT of people (by people I mean police and chain of command in the school... not students.. that would get messy fast)
I know what you mean.. This happens with companies all the times, and the only "answer" really is to clean house. I guess I have an issue with that, but at the same time I wouldn't really know what other way would be better.. it's a good thing I'm not on that college board

) haha I would be useless.

crownsuperstar · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:d199ed61-b06a-453b-9dbb-1747b7fd94ad">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : I think the college has to fire everyone just to clean house, and as a non biased person since I don't really watch college football, I can get behind that. It's too big of a scandal to not get rid of EVERYONE, and thats what they need to do and haven't done yet unfortunately. <strong> H brought up a good point, it never would have gotten this far because the guy would have gotten his ass kicked the minute he saw something happening.
</strong>Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

My H said the same thing. I also think the grad student (I think he is a coach now) should be gone too. It is our jobs as adults to protect children. He, in my opinion should have gone to the police the second he saw it. Screw the administration GO TO THE POLICE. I don't understand why no one went to the police.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

Oh crap. I didn't realize the grad student was a coach now. I TOTALLY agree with that crown. Maybe now I'm going back on my words but I don't think he can make a good coach if he couldn't do what was morally right in such a serious situation back then. How can they trust him to do it now? Or should he deserve a second chance? Maybe, since he wasn't in the realm of authority back then.. gah! Moral politics hurt my head!!! >_<

ggirl2001 · November 2011

Exactly. There is no right way to handle it really and they are probably confused as well. I'm sure it wasn't the easiest decision to make, but at the same time, I agree with it.

The therapist in me, and the teacher and all the child abuse classes I took makes me astonished that no one did anything about it (and the whole morals I have as a human being). It makes me soo angry that this could have been stopped years ago and yet by everyone staying quiet it continued on.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

I know.. It really breaks me heart for those children

and their parents..

calindi · November 2011

I'm not a hypocrite in that I never said I was going to ignore her. You not only said you were going to ignore her but told others to do the same.

divinemsbee · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:d199ed61-b06a-453b-9dbb-1747b7fd94ad">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : I think the college has to fire everyone just to clean house, and as a non biased person since I don't really watch college football, I can get behind that. It's too big of a scandal to not get rid of EVERYONE, and thats what they need to do and haven't done yet unfortunately. <strong> H brought up a good point, it never would have gotten this far because the guy would have gotten his ass kicked the minute he saw something happening. </strong>
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

That is exactly what FI said. Someone on another board posted a timelline of all of it, and it makes you see the failure of everyone involved that this continued over 10 years on satellite campuses.

LetsHikeToday · November 2011

i 100% agree that he needed to call the police. That's not my issue here. My issue is that he is being made the scapegoat of this HUGE university problem. I only see JoePa's face on the websites, not the grad student, president of the university, or the man who committed the crimes.

Paterno should be hearing about this as much as the other people who didn't call the police but he's hearing about it more. And I don't think that is right.

I will also say this, not only did the grad student NOT call the police, he walked out of the room without stopping it.

divinemsbee · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:6a738594-b578-4f18-b64b-3675e0e3dbd0">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]i 100% agree that he needed to call the police. That's not my issue here. My issue is that he is being made the capegoat of this HUGE university problem. I only see JoePa's face ont he websites, not the grad student, president of the university, or the man who committed the crimes. Paterno should be hearing about this as much as the other people who didn't call the police but he's hearing about it more. And I don't think that is right.<strong> I wish also say this, not only did the grad student NOT call the police, he walked out of the room without stopping it.</strong>
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

That. That right there. I just do not get it. From what I have heard, the grad assistant was a former, well-respected, player on the team. I do think the cops would have taken him seriously. I just can't imagine walking out on that. Of course, he isn't in any legal trouble for the same reason JoPa isn't, they both met their minimum legal obligations. I do feel a little bad for JoPa, but I really think there should be criminal charges of some kind after seeing that and walking out.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:6a738594-b578-4f18-b64b-3675e0e3dbd0">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]i 100% agree that he needed to call the police. That's not my issue here. My issue is that he is being made the scapegoat of this HUGE university problem. I only see JoePa's face on the websites, not the grad student, president of the university, or the man who committed the crimes. Paterno should be hearing about this as much as the other people who didn't call the police but he's hearing about it more. And I don't think that is right. I will also say this, not only did the grad student NOT call the police, he walked out of the room without stopping it.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

I could not agree with you more. It angers me that the grad student isn't getting fired (he is now an assistant coach, is that correct?). This it's upsetting.. I just feel like people are thinking too emotionally and not logistically regarding the situation.

KendallR10 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f66c5b90-fdda-43d2-afc2-e1a005e094ffPost:dcda48b4-7836-4c65-b655-677eaa9112eb">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions : Do you really want to open that can of worms here Kendall? Do you really? especially with me? In Response to Re: Confessions : Then don't change it. It's *thankfully* not a law. You're choosing to change your name so don't get frustrated with the system.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
They have started doing a new thing where you have to decide, when you apply for the license, if you are changing your name or not. If you decide not to you have to go back pay another $60 and redo the whole thing. I'm just impatient. I don't even know if the county has gotten our license yet

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