Come. Wallow with me.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

Or indulge me while I whine.

ETA: I might DD this later cause it's about money and all that jazz. That ok with y'all?

baystateapple · April 2011

I'm sorry, LC

Sometimes I feel the same way. H and I are doing okay, but just, and we barely put away any money each month. I don't want to be here forever (although it's gotten substantially better since we moved to a bigger apartment), but I just want to buy a house NOW and it drives me crazy that it's going to be years before we can even talk about it. I hate this 'getting by" thing.

Bubbalub · April 2011

Aw, {{hugs}} LC. I can totally understand, we feel the same way.

Anysunrise · April 2011

I feel you. With my not being able to work we BARELY have enough money to pay all our bills each month, and H is super stressed about it. We really need to file for my green card too, but it's 1100 dollars and we've been putting it off to the last minute because of it. I know I'm going to have to find a job as soon as I get permission from the DHS, but the only thing I'm going to be able to find/do will be cashier jobs and I effing HATE being a cashier. But, I can admit that that's life, and it'll be worth it just to make H relax a bit. It's been putting a bit of a strain on our relationship and that just won't do.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

That sucks about paying the IRS.

I totally feel you LC. It just feels liike you are in a deep hole that you can't get out of. H and I barely spend any money and find it hard to save each month. I have been trying my damndest to put at least $100 back from his paycheck each pay period. I am not working right now, so it is even harder. H's student loans are what is killing us right now. If we didn't have them, or at least less of them, we would be a little better.

Before I met H, I was used to saving a good chunk of money b/c I didn't really have any bills except my car pmt and cell phone. I was on my way to buying a small house or condo, but we ended up using a lot of my savings for the wedding. I have even curbed my shopping and purse addiction quite a bit and it kills me to do so.

I often feel that at this rate we will never get a freaking house, be financially *somewhat* stable to have kids, etc. And I need and want to go back to school.

I guess I just keep telling myself it won't be like this forever and "this, too shall pass."

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

Bay, I think that's what's really bothering me: I can't see the end of it. All the stuff we want to do, house, kids, all that jazz, just seems so far away right now.

crfische · April 2011

Come here, ma'am. Let me hug you.

It WILL get better.

You WILL be fine.

One day at a time, friend. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Looking at it as a whole instead of it as separate pieces is overwhelming.

And I know you feel alone, but I promise a lot of people struggle with finances. At the end of the day, you can only do what you can do.

Find a starting place, and work from there. YOUVE GOT THIS.

Snippylynn · April 2011

*passes over the wine* LC, we've been living like this for a long time and I'm sorry. It's the hardest thing ever. Things WILL get better. I promise.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

H always tells me to chill and relax, that we will get there soon enough. But yet I know it bothers him, too. We just feel like we are so far behind a lot of people our age.

baystateapple · April 2011

YUP. Exactly that.

H is a year and a half younger than me and has INFINITE patience, so he doesn't feel it the way I do. All I think is "We are running out of time, these things are never going to happen for us," and he stares at me like I'm growing another head.

Avion22 · April 2011

I'm sorry you guys are going through tough times right now. We've all been there, and most of us will be there again.

Please don't blame yourself for what you perceive to be mistakes you have made in the past. You did the best you could at the time with the information you had.

You CAN get through this. It'll take some time,and some perserverence, but you can do it. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband, and you two can get through this together.

Moneypenny424 · April 2011

I'm sorry, I totally understand. {{hugs}}

Mr. Penny is in school and cannot find a job. When I made big law firm salary, that was fine, but now I just cover our expenses.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Well, that's a reasonable whine you got there. I'd say... add some wine, cause honey you need a drink.

The very best thing to keep in mind is that nothing lasts forever. Even if you just can't see how this is ever going to change, it IS going to change. I don't know when, or how, but it will. Everything in life is temporary. You'll get through it because you're a really strong lady (which under no circumstances should mean that you can't whine/get upset/have a beer and wallow, cause sometimes that's exactly what you need).

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

::hug::

that's all I got. But I hope it helps.

doctabroccoli · April 2011

*Hugs LC*

I've been in college/grad school for the past 9 years now. Poverty wages party of 1. I am so darned close to starting my real job, but it just seems still so far away.

We're putting off our honeymoon, which makes me sad. And thinking about the debt I've accrued while in school makes me even sadder.

I just keep telling myself it'll all work out in the end.

Moneypenny424 · April 2011

And things WILL get better.

lclicious · April 2011

Same thing happened to me...it ate my entire honeymoon fund and I totally cried. My company "forgot" to take out New York City taxes.

emilyinchile · April 2011

Aww LC - and everyone else - I'm sorry. I hadn't realized your H had taken a new, non-traveling job. That's awesome, except of course for the salary. Is there any chance of him finding something local that pays better? Not necessarily right away, but is it there to have as something to look forward to in the future, or do those kind of salaries really only go along with the travel?

cengle · April 2011

*Hugs* LC. Feel free to vent all you want. I'm sorry you're going through this, but know that things will get better. I know that hearing that doesn't really help now, though. Fish had good advice, one thing at a time, one step at a time, and you'll make it.
And know that you're definitely not alone. It always seems like when it rains, it pours.

doctabroccoli · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_come-wallow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e996c41-f94c-4c40-985c-d2da3f25a813Post:477328a5-6aba-4e15-a151-eb6b390d0a64">Re: Come. Wallow with me.</a>:
[QUOTE]Same thing happened to me...it ate my entire honeymoon fund and I totally cried. My company "forgot" to take out New York City taxes.
Posted by lclicious[/QUOTE]

Yup. FI didn't know he was supposed to be double-taxed for the past 3 years, and now we owe the City of Cleveland a couple grand. I hate taxes. Just take the right amount from our paychecks and we wouldn't have to deal with this kind of crap.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

*HUGS* I can totally relate. When I was out of work last year it was really rough going for a while. If I hadn't been able to collect unemployment we would have been screwed. But it does get better, even if it seems like it'll never end.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

Thank you all so much. I really do appreciate it. Y'all are great.

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_come-wallow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e996c41-f94c-4c40-985c-d2da3f25a813Post:042e9245-13cb-4296-9966-67e81eda02d5">Re: Come. Wallow with me.</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all so much. I really do appreciate it. Y'all are great.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

We should get capes.

Beachy730 · April 2011

I'm sorry LC. You are more than entitled to whine about it, but you definitely will get through it. When I look at my student loan debt and our credit card debt that's left I get really discouraged. If you try to think of it as the whole, it makes you want to just cry.

Are you looking for another job now, or just accepting your fate with this company for a while? I hate that I'm not making nearly as much money right now as I could be if I were teaching, and I think of how much easier we could have it if I did have a teaching job. But that's just not an option here since nobody is hiring, and I have to deal with making way less money. But it does have it's perks too, like working from home, and my boss is great. And I know it's only temporary.

I honestly find it hard to believe that anybody roughly our age is completely happy and financially secure. Just know that you definitely aren't alone in feeling that way.

hlq2011 · April 2011

I was lucky enough a few years ago to catch that state taxes weren't being taken out of my paycheck about halfway through the year, so I started putting money aside each month to try to save enough to pay it. I was still under, but luckily not as much.

And for some reason, state and local taxes now don't take out enough, and I always end up owing. And I have no idea why.

We've done pretty well saving for the wedding, and next up is a house. FI and I both make good money and have relatively secure jobs, so I feel guilty even saying this when a lot of y'all are struggling. But we want to buy a house we can stay in as long as the mortgage lasts, and I'm looking at how much we need to save to afford that and it seems like we'll never get there.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_come-wallow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e996c41-f94c-4c40-985c-d2da3f25a813Post:c121d706-b8a2-4ad8-b90a-f7cd81b77591">Re: Come. Wallow with me.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry LC. You are more than entitled to whine about it, but you definitely will get through it. When I look at my student loan debt and our credit card debt that's left I get really discouraged. If you try to think of it as the whole, it makes you want to just cry. <strong> Are you looking for another job now, or just accepting your fate with this company for a while?</strong> I hate that I'm not making nearly as much money right now as I could be if I were teaching, and I think of how much easier we could have it if I did have a teaching job. But that's just not an option here since nobody is hiring, and I have to deal with making way less money. But it does have it's perks too, like working from home, and my boss is great. And I know it's only temporary. I honestly find it hard to believe that anybody roughly our age is completely happy and financially secure. Just know that you definitely aren't alone in feeling that way.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
I actually just took a new job recently. This is my second week. I love the work that I'm doing and I know what I'm making now won't be what I'm making forever. It'll just be uncomfortable for us financially while I put in the time it takes to get more money here.

emilyinchile · April 2011

Hlq, I think that just drives home that pretty much everyone has their own concerns. H and I have kind of a weird financial situation (which I won't go into on the internet), but in very general terms we're totally fine but at the same time I feel like it's still so hard to save for specific financial goals. And when I think about earning/saving in pesos and eventually wanting to go to back to the US - specifically the SF area - and how whatever we've saved will be total peanuts, it's a little depressing.

Obviously it's worse to be worried about your basic bills than to be worried about how to buy your dream house vs. your almost dream house, but it seems like no matter where you are, this is just a tough time to find contentment.

LeslieMPC · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_come-wallow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e996c41-f94c-4c40-985c-d2da3f25a813Post:6d8b7635-6af8-4d62-abee-804dd88dac8b">Re: Come. Wallow with me.</a>:
[QUOTE]Come here, ma'am. Let me hug you. It WILL get better. You WILL be fine. One day at a time, friend. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Looking at it as a whole instead of it as separate pieces is overwhelming. And I know you feel alone, but I promise a lot of people struggle with finances. At the end of the day, you can only do what you can do. Find a starting place, and work from there. YOUVE GOT THIS.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

This.

Also, something that helped and is still helping FI and I is The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. He basically gives you a step-by-step gameplan on how to plan for the furture, to pay off debt, etc. The book is filled with lots of real life stories of couples paying off thousands in debt. He doesnt sugar-coat anything and just tells it like it is. Its that swift kick in the ass that you (general you) need to do what you have to do.

Disclaimer: I don't work for Dave Ramsey, just trying to help. If this violates TK TOS, then I have no problem deleting.

Habs2Hart · April 2011

I'm sorry LC. :: HUGS ::

Money problems really suck, they do hardcore. It's so hard not to look at other people that are the same age, if not a bit older and wonder how they got where they are so fast and why you're behind the curve.

I also hear you on the pay-cheque to pay-cheque thing. It seems like everytime I'm breaking into the black plus some, something happens where I owe lots of money. I feel like spring is super hard because that's when a lot of stuff is due and it just sucks.

Hang in there. It WILL get better. I promise.

annakb8 · April 2011

LC, I completely and totally understand where you're coming from on the whole feeling boxed in thing. We have absurd student loans, and both for degrees that aren't really helping us. I finished my MA with no debt but just had to go to grad school. And FI finished his JD debt free but didn't have a job so he went to get his LLM and paid with loans. We could both do our jobs without these degrees. And pretty much because of where we chose to go to school and the jobs we did (thankfully) end up getting, we feel like we are stuck in DC. Neither of us likes DC, neither of us wants to live here long term, we will almost never be able to buy a house of afford kids here, but we don't know when/if we will be able to leave. Money is pretty tight for us too and it seems like it will never get better. I just have to keep telling myself it will and really start believing it.

AbbeyS2011 · April 2011

Someday, when we are rich and famous, we will look back on this and laugh.

For now, have your wine, and know that it will get better, this too shall pass.

You have every right to be bummed. Hugs to you.

FWIW - love your siggy pic. You are one beautiful lady.

Come. Wallow with me.

Re: Come. Wallow with me.

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