Sexy time Poll

LDYGTR13 · July 2012

I'm glad I'm not alone, Jenna!

MyUserName1 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:d9d60580-14d4-40d0-a28c-44c7f4b8521d">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : Sadly one of them is not "Give a cheer for an ice cold beer!"
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Well, duh. If you need to drink your beer ice cold, then you're drinking crap beer.

ahhhitsshannyn · July 2012

Honestly, I feel like H wants it more, he feels special and loved when we do it, so that is why it is so important to me. If he felt badly about himself because we never did it, I would want to do everything in my power to make him happy, and he would do the same for me. It just sucks that sex has so much control over so many other points in your life.

Like no sex = I must be ugly, fat, he's cheating, he's gay, he doesn't love me, etc.

So the actual ACT of sex is not going to ruin our relationship if we never had it, but I think that other insecurities can stem from no sex.

MyUserName1 · July 2012

I'm not very cuddly. I like to be in the same room, but maybe on different sofas.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

How long would you have to go without sex to consider yourself in a dry spell? A month or so.

What's the longest dry spell you've had (not while you were single, when you were married/had a SO)? 3+ months.

What was the reason? Deployment, pg/postpartum, something else? Pregnancy. I have ZERO drive.

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:0161ca28-8d9f-40d8-910e-b82d7713b371">Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Stolen from GBCN: How long would you have to go without sex to consider yourself in a dry spell? What's the longest dry spell you've had (not while you were single, when you were married/had a SO)? What was the reason? Deployment, pg/postpartum, something else?
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>1. Sadly, probably 2-3 months.</div><div>
</div><div>2. Ugh, I think it was 6 or 7 months? Two weeks after we got married in March until like, late October I think. First I ran out of pills and didn't make an appointment for a month, then I had to wait 4 to see a gyno and get another prescription (Brandon refused to let me go to a walk in clinic or something, since I hadn't actually ever had a pap at that point and he knew if I got the pills without having to I never would. I was both mad and grateful to him) and then it took a couple more months before there was a time where he wasn't tired, or not in the mood or whatever. </div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

That totally makes sense, Shan, and I agree with you. Especially if you already have a pretty regular sex life, then the absence would be more noticeable and strange. I would feel really curious and paranoid if J just suddenly didn't want it much anymore because he's kind of a hornball. lol.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:4a3c4829-c483-40f4-950e-8a091ec32ec8">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, I feel like H wants it more, he feels special and loved when we do it, so that is why it is so important to me. If he felt badly about himself because we never did it, I would want to do everything in my power to make him happy, and he would do the same for me. It just sucks that sex has so much control over so many other points in your life. Like no sex = I must be ugly, fat, he's cheating, he's gay, he doesn't love me, etc. So the actual ACT of sex is not going to ruin our relationship if we never had it, but I think that other insecurities can stem from no sex.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

That was the point I was trying to make.

And, if you're baptist you'll drink your beer from a coffee cup. We don't drink. Ever.

I think the sex is for procreation only is more Catholic than Baptist.

I'm not sure if I would rather drink with the Catholics and not have sex or have sex with the Baptists and not drink.

(For the record, we're members of a Baptist church, he was raised Catholic, and I Messianic Jew)

LDYGTR13 · July 2012

Hold me all night long, play with my hair and tell me I'm pretty. Don't try to stick it in though when you're doing this stuff. You'll ruin the moment.

LDYGTR13 · July 2012

Jess - you're so pretty! I've never seen your face before - just your Av and I honestly thought you were a brunette with like really dark features or someting, like Italian or something. Not that Italians and brunettes or whatever aren't pretty, you just look so different than what I expected for some reason!

I guessed way wrong!

melb2013 · July 2012

I'm not a cuddler either. I like it for about... 5 minutes.... then I need some space.

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:52afe479-34d8-42e3-bad4-4d4e609cbef5">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Another question...Is sex important to you? As in, do you feel that your relationship would be significantly less fulfilling without it? I think that I value sex a lot, and it definitely adds a very important part of our relationship. If something happened where we weren't able to anymore, I'd be ok, but I think it would take a while to adjust.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, and slightly. That 7 months, though H was still phsyically affectionate in the regard of hugs and kisses and stuff, I like sex, I like H and I want to have sex with H.</div>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

If J starts to spoon me as we're falling asleep, I know he has ulterior motives that he thinks are sneaky but they really aren't, ha.

Anysunrise · July 2012

And re: the cuddle preference. I'm meh. I'm good after like a minute or two. Same with foreplay.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:14a4a8d9-1da4-4475-ac7e-8ff3f568ef8d">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]It's going to be totally flameable later, which is fine, but honestly those who say they could totally live without sex make me sad. I feel like you guys must not be having nearly as much fun at it as I am. Of course the other option is that I'm a wanton hoor and a sexual deviant, which is also probably true, but I refuse to believe it.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

If you are, I am too!

Ther are some very nice toys out there nowadays, too, that can helo through medically induced dry spells. But, it still sucks.

abbalish · July 2012

How long would you have to go without sex to consider yourself in a dry spell?
A month, probably.

What's the longest dry spell you've had (not while you were single, when you were married/had a SO)?
6 weeks. Although it's not all that infrequent for us to go 2-3 weeks without it. It seems like the biggest issue these days is timing. He prefers morning sex, I prefer night. I'm not opposed to morning sex but he typically sleeps a lot later than I do and I don't necessarily want to lie there for two more hours waiting for him to get up. And also, I find morning breath disgusting. And I go to bed before him at night so that usually doesn't happen either....and then sometimes if we DO go to bed at the same time we're too tired and/or full. We definitely need to work on making it a priority.

What was the reason? Deployment, pg/postpartum, something else?
The 6-week streak was due to having a LEEP two years ago (abnormal cervical cells, blah blah blah). Other reasons, see above.

Who usually initiates?
Probably 60% H, 40% me. He'll usually initate in the morning, me in the evening, not surprisingly.

tpender13 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:c39518b2-e334-4485-877b-3cb38de6eddd">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : Well, duh. If you need to drink your beer ice cold, then you're drinking crap beer.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

Yes!!! Thank you!

There's a specialty beer store in my area (No Budweiser or MGD at all) and one of their t-shirts says "Cold and smooth aren't flavors!"

StefffiC · July 2012

He says I'm like velcro in bed, I like to be right up against him. He used to move away, and I'd move closer, and he'd move away, until he was on the floor. It was funny because it was every night.

Now, he knows to hold his own and make me move or he'll be on the floor. Or he can just get up and move to the other side of the bed. LOL

[Deleted User] · July 2012

How long would you have to go without sex to consider yourself in a dry spell?
A month or two

What's the longest dry spell you've had (not while you were single, when you were married/had a SO)?
Not sure, maybe 2 weeks?

What was the reason? Deployment, pg/postpartum, something else?
Work/tired/too much other stuff to do

If H wasn't in the picture, I could easily live without it. It's not that important to me. Fun, sure, But not something I need. If something happened and we couldn't have sex, it wouldn't bother me so long as we could still be intimate in other ways. I like to cuddle but like duds said, GTFO when I'm trying to sleep. We have a king-size bed for a reason.

adamar15 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:8c175d6e-ff8d-470c-a9d2-8cad5b3c93f6">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]If J starts to spoon me as we're falling asleep, I know he has ulterior motives that he thinks are sneaky but they really aren't, ha.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

Ha, same here! Or if he starts to scratch my back when we're going to sleep I know he's not just being nice.

Snippylynn · July 2012

The whole lack of sex thing is a major reason why H and I are in counseling. I practically have to rape him to get it and then, it's boring as hell.

WildRumpus · July 2012

To answer the other questions:

If something happened that we flat out COULDN'T have sex, we'd make it work. But I definitely think it's important, along with any other physical intimacy. We're very touchy feely, even if it's just a random hug. We probably look like middle schoolers, but we typically hold hands when we're just out and about, even at the grocery store. It makes me feel good.

And yes, if H all of a sudden WASN'T interested in sex, I would be legitimately concerned. He's a major horndog.

Anysunrise · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:8c175d6e-ff8d-470c-a9d2-8cad5b3c93f6">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]If J starts to spoon me as we're falling asleep, I know he has ulterior motives that he thinks are sneaky but they really aren't, ha.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>H starts fondling my boobs. He's not really subtle.</div>

MyUserName1 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:5e87b0a7-d223-4dee-a003-2af8e45214f2">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : Yes!!! Thank you! There's a specialty beer store in my area (No Budweiser or MGD at all) and one of their t-shirts says "Cold and smooth aren't flavors!"
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

The people at the specialty beer store KNOW us. Like, not just by name but as in "Hey, you'll like this new thing we just put on tap" "How was the X that you bought last week?" it's fucking awesome and we're alcoholics. And they <em>only </em>sell craft brew.

MyUserName1 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:e37e44b8-ef9c-4811-9fb0-05da1dbcd933">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : H starts fondling my boobs. He's not really subtle.
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

My H too.

WildRumpus · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:e37e44b8-ef9c-4811-9fb0-05da1dbcd933">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : H starts fondling my boobs. He's not really subtle.
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

Yup.

tpender13 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:35d88aaf-b3b1-4739-b90e-0087fca91e6f">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sexy time Poll : The people at the specialty beer store KNOW us. Like, not just by name but as in "Hey, you'll like this new thing we just put on tap" "How was the X that you bought last week?" it's fucking awesome and we're alcoholics. And they only sell craft brew.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

Does your place have a website? Not that we live anywhere near each other, but I'm curious. Here's the one I was talking about if you're interested.

<a href="http://thefourfirkins.com/" rel="nofollow">http://thefourfirkins.com/</a>

musicalsunlight · July 2012

Haha J will do that sometimes too, Any! Its like dude, you are really pretty obvious.

Snippylynn · July 2012

Maybe it's just because you have a nice ass Rachers.

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sexy-time-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5cb1ed75-31c5-4229-8609-4cccb01b9f64Post:9f38d4f3-dbce-4974-8bfd-59e539c28dcb">Re: Sexy time Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]H is more of a butt guy. I bet my poor ass gets squeezed or used as a drum 20 times a day.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>This could be interpreted in sooooo many ways. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /></div>

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