Pre-wedding Parties

Feeling guilty about the bachelorette party

My engagement has been verrry long (2 years), and about 1.5 years ago, my sister (and MOH) asked me what I wanted to do for a bachelorette party. I told her that I wanted to go to Atlantic City and stay in one of the nicer hotels. It was so early, and it was really just a conversation about what I would like, not neccessarily what she would plan.

Well, without consulting the other guests, she went ahead and booked a hotel room that costs $375. There will only be 7 girls, so it will cost over $50 per person just for lodging (and some people have to sleep on the floor!).  I'm starting to feel really guilty that this will just end up costing too much for people (between dinner, bars, and the room, people may end up spending $150 each). Should I tell my sister that I would feel more comfortable if we scaled it down and stayed at a lower cost hotel, or is $150 a reasonable amount of money for someone to spend? Part of me thinks that if people couldn't afford it, they would just not come, but since it's really only my close cousins and two best friends, I'm not sure they would feel comfortable declining.

Should I just stop worrying?

Re: Feeling guilty about the bachelorette party

  • The amount of money isn't the issue, for some that would be wholly affordable and for some it would not be. The issue is did your MOH ask them first to be sure they were okay with it, and if she did, go have fun! And if she didn't maybe suggest she do, something like, "I love the plans you're making for my bachelorette, but I just was thinking, I don't know if my cousin Suzy can really afford it, and if you didn't check with her already, when you do make sure she doesn't feel any pressure, because I would also just love an all girls night here in town." Or something like that.
    - Melanie July 05, 2013
  • Personally if I was attending a party and I was expected to sleep on the floor, I would be rather peeved. Wouldn't it make more sense to stay somewhere that everyone can sleep in a bed?
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  • I wouldn't want to sleep on the floor for a party.  But that's just me.  Especially if I'm paying over $50 to go.  If everyone can afford it and is okay with the idea, have fun.  If not, I'd see if the MOH can scale it back to something everyone can afford and where everyone has a place to sleep that isn't the floor.
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  • Stop worrying. They are taking you out and if they had a problem with the price they would have said something before agreeing to go and spend that much money. If someone does approach you about the cost then maybe you should speak up, otherwise just enjoy it! Just know that they may expect you to throw or join in on something just as extravagant when they get married. 
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