Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue

nbkq6bf · October 2010

Ok, so, the first thing I booked was my venue, which will be used for both my ceremony (outside gazebo) and reception (inside old 1800s house) so that's set.

The thing is, I'm OCD about details and SO paranoid about things going wrong, which they will regardless of how careful I am. I just always have bad luck and like to err on the side of caution.

So, I was wondering what you ladies thought of renting my venue out for the rehearsal dinner. It would only cost me $200 for the night which would mean I'd have my venue from 5pm Thursday, all day Friday, and all Friday night until 9am Saturday morning when I have to have all the crap out since my wedding is on Friday night 11.11.11.

Is that completely unheard of? I'd just get some simple catering or see if my caterer would give me a good deal to cater the rehearsal. I could then take advantage of some people being there and would be able to set up all the outdoor lighting to make sure there are no surprises at the last minute when I'm about to walk down the aisle at sunset and HELLO lighting issues.

This would also mean less to worry about on my wedding day and less stress on me worrying about whether the lights are gonna be dim enough or bright enough or placed correctly since there won't be time between when it's dark enough for the lights to go on and when I'll be walking down the aisle to even fix them!

Soooo whatch think?

trix1223 · October 2010

My DD had her rehearsal at the same venue as her ceremony and reception. it was fine. We were able to decorate her reception room the night before which made for a calmer morning. If you want to do it, go for it.

Now: you are NOT "OCD" about details. OCD is a medical diagnosis, and to say it because you're concerned about the details of your wedding is pretty demeaning to people who suffer with this condition.

Say "I'm very detail oriented" or "I'm pretty anal about details", or "I'm really picky" but please, you can't BE OCD. It's not something that people can choose to be.

trix1223 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:402d7409-bebd-42b8-aa2f-dc52cfeae911">Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so, the first thing I booked was my venue, which will be used for both my ceremony (outside gazebo) and reception (inside old 1800s house) so that's set. The thing is, I'm OCD about details and SO paranoid about things going wrong, which they will regardless of how careful I am. I just always have bad luck and like to err on the side of caution. So, I was wondering what you ladies thought of renting my venue out for the rehearsal dinner. It would only cost me $200 for the night which would mean I'd have my venue from 5pm Thursday, all day Friday, and all Friday night until 9am Saturday morning when I have to have all the crap out since my wedding is on Friday night 11.11.11. Is that completely unheard of? I'd just get some simple catering or see if my caterer would give me a good deal to cater the rehearsal. I could then take advantage of some people being there and would be able to set up all the outdoor lighting to make sure there are no surprises at the last minute when I'm about to walk down the aisle at sunset and HELLO lighting issues. This would also mean less to worry about on my wedding day and less stress on me worrying about whether the lights are gonna be dim enough or bright enough or placed correctly since there won't be time between when it's dark enough for the lights to go on and when I'll be walking down the aisle to even fix them! Soooo whatch think?
Posted by nbkq6bf[/QUOTE]

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

We hosted everything (ceremony, reception, rehearsal lunch, and meet and greet) out of the same hotel suite. No one seemed to mind. It made things much more convenient, actually.

Ditto trix on the OCD thing. That's really quite insensitive.

marissa_claire · October 2010

That's what I'm doing! It's totally worth it for a number of reasons. For one you can decorate early, which is a huge relief. For two, yes, you can practice exactly what will happen exactly where it will happen - which if you have FG and RB will be a big help. And I think that price is extremely reasonable. I say go for it!

nbkq6bf · October 2010

Good grief. Some of you ladies appear to HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH OCD yourselves. I've finally found a place that makes me feel a little more sane based on the ramblings of those around me. Does anyone really give a sh!t in what manner I state that I have OCD? WTF does it matter, seriously? I guess when people go out of their way to be RUDE and make an attempt to be condescending, it doesn't feel so hot when it backfires.

Stageperson, I don't care about 50 other brides. If 50 brides that got married a year & a half ago still linger on wedding boards because they have nothing else better to do with their time...does that mean I can safely assume such is the case with you? No? Ok, so don't assume everyone is the same.

I also misspoke when I said I didn't understand why everyone mentioned it. What I should have said was that I didn't understand why everyone was barking at me about it. I couldn't care less if people talk about me having OCD until they're blue in the face. Mention it over and over for all I care, I'm the one that brought it up! What I didn't like was the automatic OMG YOU DON'T HAVE OCD SO STFU YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE OMG!!!11!! instead of stopping to think before they barked.

If I have OCD, let me say it however the hell I want to say it. So what if I don't want to be all doom and gloom about it like Ok, ladies, serious moment here, I have OCD and want you to be sensitive to my insecurities and consider all comments you make to me now. No. Christ. I'm not an overly serious person and would rather make the best of the crap hands that have been dealt to me. People like you just make it more difficult for me to deal with it in a lighter way.

I also have MS, if you wanna take a crack at that. Maybe next time I'm forgetful or am off balance I can come and say I had an "MS Moment" and see how many cackling hens come out of the woodwork then to attack me about how insensitive it is to even mention MS! It's my disease/disorder/disappointment. Let me do with it what I will.

tldh · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:6427ad36-cf60-4939-acfd-3dd195c0b4d2">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I think I will go for it. Also, yes, I'm very well aware of what OCD is and in what context it can and should be used, since I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 6 years ago.I'm slowly learning that on these boards it isn't always the topic at hand that is scrutinized. Perhaps I should post the rest of my medical history and life story on my profile in an attempt to avoid snarky comments from those who make assumptions on what I may or may not suffer from. My irrational focus (and re-focus, and re-focus again) on details and certain numbers hurts every aspect of my life on a daily basis. My way of coping with it is to think as far ahead as possible and plan for worst case scenarios, as well as allow myself as much time as possible for the tasks I will have to complete and re-complete 25 times before I can consider them completed. This is one of those instances and it goes beyond being a little anal. My bad for not prefacing my question with all of that jibberjabber. Silly me, it didn't really seem at all relevant to the question I was asking.
Posted by nbkq6bf[/QUOTE]

Then you need to write "I am diagnosed OCD." Did you lurk on boards at all before you started posting? If you had, you would know that many anal retentive brides claim to be "a little OCD." There's not a week that goes by that they don't have to be told this is an actual diagnosis and don't throw it around to explain your behavior.

I thank God that I was broken of this habit years ago by another attorney who has OCD and is really bad off. I'd commented once that all attorneys have to be OCD to some degree otherwise we'd never be able to practice. He calmly asked me a series of questions and then explained what would be needed for an OCD diagnosis.

The more I got to know the details of his life - only one restaurant that he will go to, only two sets of clothes he will wear, only one barber he will go to and what it took for him just to get in someone else's car so he could visit his family 60 miles away - made me protective of him.

This is why I personally get very angry when a bride makes statements like the one you did. If you really are diagnosed OCD, you should be thanking everyone else for defending a medical diagnosis against such flippant use that we see on these boards all the time.

Beachy730 · October 2010

OP- to answer your original question, you are fine to have your RD in the same place as your wedding. I just wouldn't serve the same food, or have it decorated the same as my wedding.

As for the rest of the stuff...

If you had lurked on this site at all, you would notice that 99 out of 100 brides who want to complain about a detail or a person start off by saying "I'm OCD, so can I...." So yes, the first thing people assume on here is that your are just anal-retentive, and knit-picky. Nobody is going to make fun of you for being diagnosed with OCD or MS. But you also had no need to put that out there in your post. OCD has nothing to do with where you are holding your RD. You could have simply put "Is it acceptable to have my RD in the same venue as my ceremony and reception?"

I don't know whether you truly have been diagnosed with OCD or not, as people on here can say whatever they want and there is no way to prove it. But if you do truly have it, then you should appreciate the fact that people on here don't like when people throw around the term to describe themselves so loosely.

Either way, this is a public message board, and ANYTHING you write is subject to scrutinization and opinoins, whether you like them or not. If you don't want to hear about it, don't post it.

Ashes_3 · October 2010

Feel the love!

Gismo123 · October 2010

I'm having my rehersal dinner at same place as my wedding...they offered us a great deal....we are doing a cute itallian theme and they will be decorting the area like we are in Italy.

We get the venue From Friday at 4pm till Sunday Afternoon because we are also have an after wedding brunch which was mad cheap...each guest staying at the hotel at the venue...it's a ranch.... technically gets a free breakfast but to make it a private brunch each guest would of had to pay an extra $2 each...we are picking up the extra tab for that though

nbkq6bf · October 2010

All of this is tl;dr so as much as I'd like to take the 2 hours to read and reply to all this nonsense, I should get some work done. Was nice chatting with you all, though. Very welcoming board for new brides-to-be, for sure. Have a great day and happy planning to those who are still in planning mode!

MyNameIsNot · October 2010

Claiming to actually have a disorder as cover for making fun of people that have it is pretty low.

It is clear that you were not actually diagnosed as OCD, but are just trying to cover for your insulting use of the term. Klassy.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

You know what I think?

I think you're a huge drama queen.

Based on your previous posts (you having a freaking heart attack about a wedding that is over a year away) and the fact that you post the same threads all over the place so you can get the answers you want...yes. That is my conclusion.

Whether you have OCD or not is not the issue. You do not have a monopoly on the disease and therefore if someone gets offended with the way you talk about it, then you should respect that and understand that you were about as clear as mud in your OP. If you do not have OCD, then the same applies.

In your club post, you said "I thought we were here to help each other out." And people did. They gave you good advice. They told you doing the venue combo was a good idea.

And they also informed you that you were offending them. You could have just said. "I'm sorry, I really am diagnosed with OCD. I didn't mean to sound offensive," and moved on.

Instead, you've got a huge V on your chest and you just want to go around saying "Woe is me" and "I'm so stressed out" about stupid stuff like flower girls and using the same venue for your ceremony and rehearsal dinner. And then say flippant things about a disorder and get mad and play the victim once again when you're called out on it. If that's because you have OCD, fine, whatever. It's pretty insensitive of you, as someone with the disorder, to act that way about it. But I'm still not entirely convinced that that's legitimate.

And I certainly don't appreciate your club board making sweeping generalizations about the international boards and you agreeing with them just becausing they're giving you "fuzzy friendlies" or whatever the hell they called it. Not everyone on here is already married. Some of us are actually planning our weddings. And guess what? We manage to take the advice given to us by the married ladies just fine. And why WOULDN'T you take advice from someone who's already gone through it? Though that's neither here nor there.

You cause drama. That's my verdict.

CynthiaJH · October 2010

Wow-I just got done reading all of this. Did anybody really need to post and respond as much as this? I personally don't know anyone diagnosed with OCD or MS, and I think after reading this I don't want to. People need to take things with a grain of salt. Accept the fact that people use terms in many different contexts and if you don't like it than create a website to spread awareness, go to different location and hand out pamphelets-but geez can we leave the Knot boards for what they are here for-giving advice on weddings and everything else that goes with being and getting married? And if you want to talk about the proper way to use a term than start a new and seperate thread in that miscellaneous board or whatever it is and invite the offender to view it by posting that you created it-but that's it. For example, "So and so poster, come check out the thread I started on the proper way to use the term OCD" I like the Knot because it seems like a happy place for me to drown myself in wedding bliss but after reading this, not so much.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:6c78e10d-9daa-4a9d-9c15-5d907288994b">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow-I just got done reading all of this. Did anybody really need to post and respond as much as this? I personally don't know anyone diagnosed with OCD or MS, and I think after reading this I don't want to. People need to take things with a grain of salt. Accept the fact that people use terms in many different contexts and if you don't like it than create a website to spread awareness, go to different location and hand out pamphelets-but geez can we leave the Knot boards for what they are here for-giving advice on weddings and everything else that goes with being and getting married? And if you want to talk about the proper way to use a term than start a new and seperate thread in that miscellaneous board or whatever it is and invite the offender to view it by posting that you created it-but that's it. For example, "So and so poster, come check out the thread I started on the proper way to use the term OCD" I like the Knot because it seems like a happy place for me to drown myself in wedding bliss but after reading this, not so much.
Posted by CynthiaJH[/QUOTE]

Way to show how much you don't know about what goes on with the Knot by telling people how to post and to never talk about anything other than weddings. That goes over VERY well round these parts.

We can respond however we want. If something is offensive, we have every right to say so. It's not like we're demanding that the mod ban her.

No one's forcing you to read this. Go away.

CynthiaJH · October 2010

Oh my. Look, my point was that she asked about her venue and we somehow found ourselves talking about this OCD thing for the next umpteen posts. I get that people calling themselves things they are not can get annoying but I just thought since it is so common we could move past it and just examine the question at hand. And if not for the askers sake for the rest of the ones on here who may have the same question. I don't care about being fuzzy. If someone needs to be pulled back to earth then so be it. I just thought the barrage of OCD explanations was excessive. That maybe it would make sense to make that it's own board where you all could rant on there.
I have been a member of the Knot for a while....at least since I got engaged. I didn't know there was a seniority ranking that gave you special permission to say what you want. And what did I say that was so Pretty Princess? I am far from princessy. And why you guys are freaking at me I don't know. And who has the right to tell people to go away????? Remember I didn't tell anyone to leave-I just merely made a suggestion. And I am well aware that there are Knot boards for many things totally unrelated to weddings.
I can post what I want like PP's said. Why don't YOU go away? You obviously didn't appreciate her post so why waste any time on it?????? Hypocritical. And maybe you guys are being way too sensitive since apparently your feathers get ruffled pretty easily or none of this would have gone on like it did. But who am I?

CynthiaJH · October 2010

Well, anyhow-I agree with you...having the whole event at one place is just fine. I think she is too afraid to ever post on this site again...I guess I was surprised at the level of sarcasm and how mean some people can be-or the fact that it is all written makes people seem like they are being mean. I guess I felt bad for her and her post. I don't ever want to be flamed. And if I could tell you the hours I have spent just reading and not posting....it's embarrassing. Anyhow-hapy planning. Sorry to offend.

tldh · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:e89e81ee-6d26-479b-b44a-f2e368234f58">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my. Look, my point was that she asked about her venue and we somehow found ourselves talking about this OCD thing for the next umpteen posts. I get that people calling themselves things they are not can get annoying but I just thought since it is so common we could move past it and just examine the question at hand. And if not for the askers sake for the rest of the ones on here who may have the same question. I don't care about being fuzzy. If someone needs to be pulled back to earth then so be it. I just thought the barrage of OCD explanations was excessive. That maybe it would make sense to make that it's own board where you all could rant on there. I have been a member of the Knot for a while....at least since I got engaged. I didn't know there was a seniority ranking that gave you special permission to say what you want. And what did I say that was so Pretty Princess? I am far from princessy. And why you guys are freaking at me I don't know. And who has the right to tell people to go away????? Remember I didn't tell anyone to leave-I just merely made a suggestion. And I am well aware that there are Knot boards for many things totally unrelated to weddings. I can post what I want like PP's said. Why don't YOU go away? You obviously didn't appreciate her post so why waste any time on it?????? Hypocritical. And maybe you guys are being way too sensitive since apparently your feathers get ruffled pretty easily or none of this would have gone on like it did. But who am I?
Posted by CynthiaJH[/QUOTE]

Would you calm down? I wasn't calling you a single thing. I was pointing out what gets people flamed on here. In General. Every single time. it was a heads up so that something like this doesn't happen again with any Newbies reading this thread. If, however, you or anyone else wants to get involved in another thread like this, then by all means, ignore what I said.

nbkq6bf · October 2010

This is the most hilarious internet thread I've ever seen!!!! Thanks for the entertainment this morning as I gear up for another exciting workday!! It has gone full circle from assuming I don't have OCD - to saying I should have clearly stated my condition so no one dares misunderstand me - back to saying I don't have OCD! I was thinking of throwing in the towel and taking this board for what it is worth but no way, this is too good! Thanks, ladies!

Manwaithiel · October 2010

[QUOTE]Now: you are NOT "OCD" about details. OCD is a medical diagnosis, and to say it because you're concerned about the details of your wedding is pretty demeaning to people who suffer with this condition.

Say "I'm very detail oriented" or "I'm pretty anal about details", or "I'm really picky" but please, you can't BE OCD. It's not something that people can choose to be.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE] Ditto trix on the OCD thing. That's really quite insensitive. [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE] And, unless you have been diagnosed you are NOT obsessive compulsive. You're anal retentive. [/QUOTE]

Point out that snark in those comments OP. Those were the exact words the people who responded to your first post used.

Where is the snark? Or the sarcasm? Where is it? If you take it at face value...there is none.

Wow. Reading. How magical. <------- Now there is some snark and sarcasm.

YOU responded by jumping down everyone's throats. YOU said "silly me for not including that jibber jabber". YOU assumed we should all just KNOW that you have OCD.

You responded like this:

[QUOTE] Perhaps I should post the rest of my medical history and life story on my profile in an attempt to avoid snarky comments from those who make assumptions on what I may or may not suffer from [/QUOTE]

And then you got the responses that you got.

You could have said, as I've stated earlier, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was offending anyone. I didn't mean it that way. I really am diagnosed with OCD and I just try to make light of it." I guarantee you would have gotten a very different result.

You are really unbelieveable. I showed your first post to a friend of mine. She is not a Knottie. She is not getting married. She couldn't possibly be poisoned with the disease that you and some others around here seem to think Knotties on international boards have.

She read your post and said, "That girl cannot possibly be OCD. People who actually have OCD wouldn't fling it around like that." So we're not the only ones who thought you were being rude.

I still believe you are someone who craves attention and pity. You flaunt your problems around like they're some kind of badge. People who have these disorders/diseases and are dealing with them every day do not appreciate people like you. You make the very real condition look like a total joke and something to be used to guilt people into feeling sorry for you.

Grow up.

nbkq6bf · October 2010

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL oh stfu already!

SSaltzman87 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:57f2a884-a0ac-4256-9905-eac9eb3c6186">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Point out that snark in those comments OP. Those were the exact words the people who responded to your first post used. Where is the snark? Or the sarcasm? Where is it? If you take it at face value...there is none. Wow. Reading. How magical. <------- Now there is some snark and sarcasm. YOU responded by jumping down everyone's throats. YOU said "silly me for not including that jibber jabber". YOU assumed we should all just KNOW that you have OCD. You responded like this: And then you got the responses that you got. You could have said, as I've stated earlier, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was offending anyone. I didn't mean it that way. I really am diagnosed with OCD and I just try to make light of it." I guarantee you would have gotten a very different result. You are really unbelieveable. I showed your first post to a friend of mine. She is not a Knottie. She is not getting married. She couldn't possibly be poisoned with the disease that you and some others around here seem to think Knotties on international boards have. She read your post and said, "That girl cannot possibly be OCD. People who actually have OCD wouldn't fling it around like that." So we're not the only ones who thought you were being rude. I still believe you are someone who craves attention and pity. You flaunt your problems around like they're some kind of badge. People who have these disorders/diseases and are dealing with them every day do not appreciate people like you. You make the very real condition look like a total joke and something to be used to guilt people into feeling sorry for you. Grow up.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

Mainwaithel's got it covered. My thoughts exactly.

tldh · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:215c5579-c4e1-446a-bd5f-6a72e90b16f3">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone else noticed that some girls on these boards take every opportunity to turn these threads into a debate about something other than the original question? I personally have noticed that quite a few of them are studying for law degrees. I'm not saying this is the case for every lawyer in training, but there are a few people that come to mind that seem to be using these boards to practice for their careers by riling up the OP and then poking holes in their responses when they get flustered. I suppose they're smart for trying to get practice wherever they can, but it sort of takes the fun out of it for the rest of us, doesn't it? Has anyone out there lurking noticed that too?
Posted by Robyn5298[/QUOTE]

Just out of curiosity, which boards are you lurking on where you've noticed this? There are actually quite a few lawyers who are regular posters on some of them; I know of one law student and one who is studying to get into law school.

I promise you, every single one of us, myself included, got called out for attitudes when we first started posting. I absolutely hated a few of the girls on these boards but after I checked myself, realized I was in the wrong nearly 100% of the time, they actually became posters that I look forward to seeing. Not all of them were lawyers who put me and others in our place - in fact the closest I got was a law student who ripped me a new one. Threads get hostile when the OP (or the offending poster) refuses to take a look and see why so many people are upset. Situations can be defused very easily as PPs have pointed out.

Nobody is trying to ruin anyone's fun here. We love helping others plan their weddings and like the community of women on these boards. This is why married ladies stick around. Believe it or not, we don't like the drama but once you've made it personal and misstated or misconstrued something we have written, we are not likely to let it go. That is human nature and not something exclusive to attorneys.

nbkq6bf · October 2010

Tricia, you mean misconstrued like so many seem to have done to my post? It seems to be ok for everyone to tell me what I can/should or can't/shouldn't say and dictate how I need to write things going forward if I want to not be harrassed on this forum, but freak when someone tries to do it to them. There's just a lot of hypocrisy and ladies accusing each other of doing the very same thing they themselves are doing.

BUT I keep saying leave it be already yet here I am posting so let me go ahead & stfu myself now.

tldh · October 2010

OP - I don't know how many different ways we can tell you the same thing: Every single day, brides claim to be OCD because they are detail oriented - and this is truly offensive to a lot of us. If you are diagnosed OCD (and you would be the first that I know of who posts), then you have to put that in your post if you think your disorder is relevant to anything. Go ahead and think it's unfair - We have to assume that you are the same as the other 99.999% who claim to be OCD. We had no way of knowing that you really are diagnosed OCD and Stage appologized when you told her. So yeah, the burden was on you to just say, "I'm diagnosed OCD" rather than escalate the discussion into a fight.

Robyn5298 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:3917e8e4-4046-4837-a48d-cbc66e9c5450">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue : Just out of curiosity, which boards are you lurking on where you've noticed this? There are actually quite a few lawyers who are regular posters on some of them; I know of one law student and one who is studying to get into law school. I promise you, every single one of us, myself included, got called out for attitudes when we first started posting. I absolutely hated a few of the girls on these boards but after I checked myself, realized I was in the wrong nearly 100% of the time, they actually became posters that I look forward to seeing. Not all of them were lawyers who put me and others in our place - in fact the closest I got was a law student who ripped me a new one. Threads get hostile when the OP (or the offending poster) refuses to take a look and see why so many people are upset. Situations can be defused very easily as PPs have pointed out. Nobody is trying to ruin anyone's fun here. We love helping others plan their weddings and like the community of women on these boards. This is why married ladies stick around. Believe it or not, we don't like the drama but once you've made it personal and misstated or misconstrued something we have written, we are not likely to let it go. That is human nature and not something exclusive to attorneys.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I didn't mean to state the arguing was exclusive to attorneys! I've just noticed that on this board and mainly the WP board that a few people who have stated law as their profession seem to be the ones that stick around on threads and get into the back and forth discussions, which are usually over something the OP arbitrarily said that they didn't like. Its not even really an attitude I've noticed, just a propensity to pick arguments and keep them going for as long as possible.

I guess nobody else sees it. Its just something I've come across a few times and for me its a bit irritating when the post gets so skewed from the original question. I'm not asking anyone to refrain from posting or change how they speak, I was just making a comment. I know you've all been around longer than me and that things aren't going to change and that's fine. I'm really not trying to call anyone out here. I'm just stating a pattern that I personally have noticed.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

Off-topic and side conversations happen in every online forum ever created. Conversations in real life very rarely stick exclusively to the original topic, that's just the nature of the beast. Unless you whine in real life when people get off-topic as well...

Robyn5298 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:226e3886-8000-454d-91c9-9c8e4492d308">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Off-topic and side conversations happen in every online forum ever created. Conversations in real life very rarely stick exclusively to the original topic, that's just the nature of the beast. Unless you whine in real life when people get off-topic as well...
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

That's a little uncalled for, don't you think? Nobody's whining here.

Besides, this isn't real life. This is a message board where one would think it would be easy to answer the question asked without getting into side arguments that have nothing to do with the question. But as I've said before that's how people like to play things here, which is fine. I'd prefer it if things were done differently but that's just my opinion.

I made an observation without even a hint of whining. If you think that's whining then perhaps you should do as so many regulars suggest to newbies on a regular basis and "grow a thicker skin".

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:215c5579-c4e1-446a-bd5f-6a72e90b16f3">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone else noticed that some girls on these boards take every opportunity to turn these threads into a debate about something other than the original question? I personally have noticed that quite a few of them are studying for law degrees. I'm not saying this is the case for every lawyer in training, but there are a few people that come to mind that seem to be using these boards to practice for their careers by riling up the OP and then poking holes in their responses when they get flustered. I suppose they're smart for trying to get practice wherever they can, but it sort of takes the fun out of it for the rest of us, doesn't it? Has anyone out there lurking noticed that too?
Posted by Robyn5298[/QUOTE]

I think you're looking for correlations that aren't necessarily there. Conversations naturally flow into other topics. OP asked a very simple question that required a very simple answer. She also threw in a statement that is controversial on these boards and people commented on it after answer her very simply one word answer question. And people proceeded to tell her that she was being offensive. Then she decided to act like an immature baby and complain about how she was being picked on telling everybody to stfu which is REAL mature. Maybe I like fighting and debating. That's not really your concern.

Robyn5298 · October 2010

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion! I'm not trying to change anyone's mind here, but I do stand by my original statements. If you disagree, that's fine too.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_rehearsalceremonyreception-combo-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:af2deb8b-9951-402a-812c-9c51c0834417Post:3917e8e4-4046-4837-a48d-cbc66e9c5450">Re: Rehearsal/Ceremony/Reception Combo Venue</a>:
[QUOTE]I promise you, every single one of us, myself included, got called out for attitudes when we first started posting. I absolutely hated a few of the girls on these boards but after I checked myself, realized I was in the wrong nearly 100% of the time, they actually became posters that I look forward to seeing. Not all of them were lawyers who put me and others in our place - in fact the closest I got was a law student who ripped me a new one. Threads get hostile when the OP (or the offending poster) refuses to take a look and see why so many people are upset. Situations can be defused very easily as PPs have pointed out. Nobody is trying to ruin anyone's fun here. We love helping others plan their weddings and like the community of women on these boards.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

This.

If I do anything as a "Knottie fetus" it's trryyyyyy my best to tell other newbies that there really is help on these boards. I really hate that this post has gotten people upset with each other but really? I got put in my place when I first got here. And I'm all for it now. Just relax. Don't think that people are here to cut you down.

I know you tried what I told you on the club board. You almost had it. I would have stayed away from the "stfu" post....that...was not really the plan.

But nonetheless, for real. Take a deep breath. It's just a board. It's really nothing to get upset about.

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