First name Question NWR

[Deleted User] · August 2012

The first name vs "mom" discussion got me thinking....
Do you think it's OK for adults to request to be called by their first names when introduced to their friends' kids?
Here is what I mean:
I really don't care to be called Mrs. anymore. I much prefer everyone to call me by first name, including kids, little kids. But parents a lot of times say, "Billy, say hello to Mrs So and So". Is it bad to respond back, please call me Jane, to little Billy?

Just wondering.....would love your input thanks!

Meegles4 · August 2012

I think that's fine. I think it really depends on the age. As a child, I was taught that adults were Mr. or Mrs. But, my mother was an army officer's wife and there were definitely certain pleasantries and protocols that she abided by (plus she's already a bit more traditional with these things). If you're someone who'd prefer to be called by their first name, I don't think it's inappropriate to say that.

As an adult, I still call those long-time family friends that date back to my childhood Mr. or Mrs., because that's what I'm used to. If my mother (or someone else) introduces me to someone now, they introduce them by their first name. I think it's more of a respect thing (or at least it was in my family). As an adult, I'm on an equal footing with other adults, but as a child, I'm really not, so my family felt it was more respectful for me to refer to adults by Mr. or Ms.

funandfreckles · August 2012

I never called my friends' parents "Mrs. X". They were always first names. It's what we were told to do by my parents' friends, and vice versa. My friends' kids call me by my first name and my FI by his first name too.

Girlie1030 · August 2012

Most of my friends have their kids address their adult female friends as Miss Firstname (Miss Girlie) but teachers, doctors, etc. as Mrs. Lastname (if appropriate). Guys are always just Firstname (if friends) and Mr. Lastname for everyone else.

achiduck · August 2012

Yes, I think that's fine to tell a child to call you by your first anme. With that being said, a lot of parents teach their children to call elders by a more formal name until told otherwise by that person so I think you need to let the parent introduce you to the child as Mrs. XYZ.

libby2483 · August 2012

I was taught to always address an adult by Mr. or Mrs. Lastname until I was told otherwise. All of my friends' parents told me to call them by their first names, which is what I did after they told me that preference. As my friends start to have children, I would also prefer that they call me by my first name.

andrea2473 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_first-name-question-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb0797b5-3ba9-4ec9-991f-0c7844880201Post:7c3fb109-439e-4705-a59f-e74467b8c202">Re: First name Question NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I was taught to always address an adult by Mr. or Mrs. Lastname until I was told otherwise.</strong> All of my friends' parents told me to call them by their first names, which is what I did after they told me that preference. As my friends start to have children, I would also prefer that they call me by my first name.
Posted by libby2483[/QUOTE]

This, exactly.

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

I think it's fine for you to say, "You can call me Jane." I called some friends' parents by their first names because they told me to, and others I used Mr. and Mrs.

I think as a parent, it's best to always tell your kids to address elders as Mr. or Mrs. until told otherwise, just so they don't say, 'Well Jane said I can call her by her first name so I can call ALL adults by their first name."

As a HS teacher, I've seen students try to address teachers by first names, either seriously or joking. I always shut that down right away, but I'm seeing it more and more. So somewhere along the way, that "rule" has stopped being impressed upon kids as much.

Calypso1977 · August 2012

My mom raised me to ALWAYS call someone Mr. or Mrs. until I was corrected to say something else.

yep, this.

HockeyFan4 · August 2012

I was raised to address adults as "Ms." of "Mr." until corrected.

Now a days I think it is more common for women to keep their maiden name, hyphenate, be divorced, etc. I always introduce myself with my name now, and let the person tell me what I should call them. "Hi, I'm X"

Loopyseven · August 2012

Another in the always call adults by Mr/Mrs camp. I didn't start calling my parents friends by their first names until I was in college. It still feels weird to me to address older coworkers especially those in higher up positions by their first names. I don't know if I'm comfortable just being Loopy to my friends kids. I think installing respect for those in authority is important part of structure in a kids life. A few of our friends have kids and they seem to be using at least a "miss first name" title which I'm okay with.

divinemsbee · August 2012

I also called all adults that I was introduced to by Mr./Mrs. Lastname until told otherwise. An exception was for a lot of older women or men it has always been Miz/Mr. Firstname. Which I think is pretty common in the South. To this day I'm very uncomfortable calling adults around my parents' age that I've known from childhood by their first names alone. If I meet new people it's fine, but anyone that knew me as a kid I feel the need to add the slightly more respectful title to.

ootmother2 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_first-name-question-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb0797b5-3ba9-4ec9-991f-0c7844880201Post:05bf3a7e-2725-4ed6-8669-ab4b8794fc4f">Re: First name Question NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I was raised to address adults as "Ms." of "Mr." until corrected. Now a days I think it is more common for women to keep their maiden name, hyphenate, be divorced, etc. I always introduce myself with my name now, and let the person tell me what I should call them. "Hi, I'm X"
Posted by HockeyFan4[/QUOTE]

I had this problem because I hadn't changed my name when I married. My daughter's friends called me Megan's mom until around the time they graduated from college (21?) Then I said it was okay to call me by my first name if they were comfortable with that.

As a child, there was only one person I could call by her first name and that was my mom's BFF. "cilla was one of my first words and she loved it!

StephBeanWed61502 · August 2012

I was also raised to call all adults Mr./Mrs. - one family friend who really didn't like being called by her last name just had all the kids call her "Ms. Sue." It allowed us kids to address her as she wanted to be addressed without feeling like we were being weird or disrespectful (because honestly, it would've felt really uncomfortable for me at 9 years old to call an adult by a first name only).

DramaGeek · August 2012

In my world, everyone was called by first name except teachers - and even then, by high school our teachers were called by first names. Then again, I live on the left coast where everyone is a bleeding heart liberal hippy. But yes, I think it's totally fine to request that they call you by their first name.

lpheath · August 2012

I grew up in mn in the 90's and called adults by their first names. Teachers were the only exception to this.This was normal in my area growing up. Honestly, I would be surprised if someone introduced me to their child as Ms. Lastname. I think it's perfectly acceptable for adults to request to be called by their first name. Nowadays, with many families and couples not sharing a last name, it can be confusing for kids to know what to call adults when first meeting them. If you specifically request to be called by your first name, then it is not a sign of disrespect from the child as well.

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