Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??

LindseyLOVE8 · April 2011

I've been dating my FI since November of 2008 and he proposed in September of 2010. We are planning our wedding for May 19, 2012 for the summer between my junior and senior years of college.I will be 20, my FI will be 21. I will be finishing my nursing degree and with summer classes to take also, this is my window where we could get married and also have our honeymoon. However, I am going to school in our hometown and will be living at home anyways. He has a good job, making good money. He is a coal miner and I also work while I am in school so we will be as close to "financially stable" as two people as young as we are can be. I think next May is a good time for us because I only have one year left of school and he would have got married the day he proposed if I would have so that was like our compromise, haha!

Milsey32 · April 2011

FI and I will still be in college when we get married, and I don't care that people tell us to wait or we're so young or whatever. Don't worry, you're not alone. [:

ReebokJ · April 2011

Fi's 20, and I will be when we marry in June. I'll have a year left of school, he'll have about another year after that. It will be hard financially, so yes, you should at least be able to support yourselves (FI's working through school, isn't he amazing?!). It WILL be harder on your studies than not being married. In my case I'm fine with it because a) I maintain a constantly busy lifestyle anyway, and b) I'm planning a wedding, taking 17 hours, and still finding time to spend with FI, be an active member of my campus ministry, and post-wedding marriage prep... like premarital counseling, apartment-hunting (found one last week!

), etc. I figure maintaining a household won't take too much more time than planning this wedding and these premarital things, and I'm taking fewer hours next semester anyway. You CAN do it, just be prepared. You CAN do anything, the question is whether it's wise, or whether you're willing to devote everything you have to it.

Funny how people assume in these sorts of situations that you haven't thought it through. It can be sensible to get married earlier rather than later. I'm sure you're choosing with God's best in mind. Not that you should take anything from me or the rest of the board as anything but chatter, but I totally support your decision to go ahead and marry on principle-- no need to delay the decision to commit, if you know he's from the Lord. As for "changing a lot in college"... people change a lot over the course of an entire lifetime, not just between the ages of 18-22. The two of you can grow together your whole life.

So awesome that you guys are going into the mission field together! May you be blessed in all you do for the Lord

ericab1020 · April 2011

My FI and I are both 20 and have been together for almost 6 years and have been engaged for a year now and still have another year and a half to go until our wedding. Personally, I wanted to wait until after graduation, which will be May 2012, for multiple reasons. I wanted to have a stable job (hopefully!) when i get married. Also, financial aid is a big help for me for college and if I was to get married while going to college, i would have to pay so much more money! I dont know if you thought about that or if it is even an issue for you. But that is why I am waiting. I would never judge anyone for when they are getting married or how old they are. Whatever you want to do will work out perfectly! Enjoy Planning!

BronwynH · April 2011

I'll still be getting the same amount of money for college as I do now. I get alot of federal and state aid and a scholarship, so I go to school for free. My fiance will get more after we get married though. So, for us, getting married is more cost efficient in alot of ways. We've gone over the financial stuff so many times, and it really will be better when we're married. But, if getting married would make us have to pay for school, then we would wait.

mrstrax · April 2011

Love ReebokJ's post! So well put- people continually change. One of the main points of being one is growing together!

My FI and I (21 and 20) met here at college. We got engaged in December, will marry in August, he graduates next December (a semester early - love him!) and I graduate Spring of 2013.

We also plan to do overseas mission work after we're both done with school, so I completely understand the desire to have a firm foundation before you want to go - most agencies won't send a couple until they've been married at least a year.

I also can see where you're coming from about school being easier together. FI and I spend the vast majority of our time together already: we're apart for classes and work and otherwise do homework, eat etc together. I live in the dorms but his apartment has a washer/dryer and (obviously) a kitchen so I already cook and do laundry, we grocery shop together, etc. We really feel we understand what we will be adding to our relationship by being married because we've talked about it. So long as you two understand how school is going to affect your expectations of married life (I'm not going to be able to cook a full meal on days I have a late afternoon class, etc) you'll be fine. And most importantly, if it's all based on bringing glory to God and reflecting His love, it may not be easy, but it will be good.

Congratulations on your engagament!!

denisokd · May 2011

I will be getting married the summer before my senior year (1 year from now), and my FI will have one year to finish as well. He is pre-vet, so we wanted to get married before we leave our city in 2013 for him to attend vet school.

The thing with us is that we have already lived together; however, we now live in seperate homes due to our beliefs. We know that "playing house" is a lot different than sharing a household when you're married BUT there are a lot of similarities.

School and living with a partner is not the easiest thing, only because living with a partner is not the easiest thing. It is a transition that we make from being complete individuals into a union with someone else. Post-graduate couples make this transition just as we will. The main thing you need to learn to balance is your focus. I recommend studying seperately, because you will honestly get a lot more work done.

We know we are young, but we just look at it as more years we get to be TOGETHER-working on making our marraige successful. People who wait because "society" has set an age limit on being newlywedded are missing out. If you know you are ready in your heart and with God, he will take care of the rest.

Good luck!

[Deleted User] · May 2011

I'm 19 now, and was 17 when I got "engaged" if thats what you want to call it. Basically he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, but we don't have a ring yet. I have a sapphire promise ring type thing that he calls a placeholder. He's 22 now, and a jeweler, so he's saving money little by little and making his own ring and we're both saving for our wedding which will be after I graduate in 2014. If we had the money to we would get married sooner. I know everyone thinks its a good idea to wait until I finish school, but I would be happier in an apartment with him than in my dorm with other college students. I know we're going to be together forever so I don't see the point in waiting, except for money obvs.

brookej556 · May 2011

I'm glad that there are other people in the same boat as me

My FI and I have been dating for three years, and were best friends for a year before that. We are both going to be juniors next year, and we're getting married in July! For us, we knew early on that we wanted to get married, but it wasn't until we were certain that God wanted us to get married that we decided to go ahead and marry before graduation. It's hard because a lot of people judge us and dismiss us as stupid or impatient. We are a lot like you and some of the other people who have posted. We believe that we are called to missions, though we aren't sure if it will be overseas or here in the states, and we didn't see why we had to wait longer to get married just because we felt like we were supposed to.

I think many people just think that the best thing for them is the best for everyone. It may be easier to get married after college, but that doesn't necessarily mean its the best for everyone. Our pastor has been counseling us, and that has really helped with our questions about money and time for each other. We're the same as you, BronwynH, I get school for free, and my FI has a scholarship. We would not have gotten married if we were not able to be financially independent without going into debt, so I really feel for some of my friends who can't get married for financial reasons.

We also live in Tennessee, so I'm curious as to where the other Tennessee girls go to school. Congrats to all of you! It's exciting to know that there are other girls like me on here!

BronwynH · May 2011

Brookj556 -- That's awesome that you all feel called into missions too. I go to Johnson Bible College which is now Johnson University and my FI goes to UT Knoxville. Where do you go to school? What part of TN do you live in?

Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??

Re: Undergrad Freshman or Sophomore??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards