Is this rude?

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-this-rude-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5214bad3-fa7d-4345-ab26-7484525f311bPost:e5598c58-e7b4-4ead-ad43-45d787caba07">Re: Is this rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't find it rude for her to want a shower and a bach party. One thing that I have done when agreeing to be a BM was think about all the cost. Dress, shoes, accessories, hair, parties, and time. I have had to tell two close friends that I would not be able to be a BM because of cost. I then offered and spent lots of time helping them every step of the way just as if I were standing next to her. And my friends were able to understand my not being in the wedding due to cost and more that appreciated my being there for them. Two of the weddings I was in showers were thrown by the BM's and those who could not attend for whatever reason sent money to help with the cost. It's totally not fair for the other BM's to leave this all on you. Did you say anything to them about this? I think it will be way too much for you to do or have done both alone and I would have been pretty pissed it it were me. But I too would have stepped up to the plate and done at least one to make sure everything wasspecial for my friend. (Both no way) But the bach party could have been really low key and included a night out with just a few ladies and even went along with an explanation if you felt necessary. If the cost is getting too much you need to say something...nothing can change or be dealt with if the other person/people involved don't know. <strong>I admire your friend for knowing what she wants and even willing to plan it herself to make sure she has it. </strong> I don't feel how that is in bad taste. However, most of the time these type of pre-wedding parties are usually thrown by the bridal party and or family. To me It seems like your friend is not filled with drama talk to her and go from there or leave it as it is. Good luck!
Posted by leah51[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You admire planning a party that you expect others to pay for? And specifically, a party that is all about "showering gifts" on yourself? No, I'm pretty sure it's rude and tacky, as all the other PPs have confirmed for me. I wouldn't recommend doing this to your family and loved ones.
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mizutamababy · July 2012

I don't get all these people that would feel disappointed without a bach or a shower. I would have felt weird accepting either from my friends because I know how hard they work just to make ends meet.

I had neither and I don't regret it at all. The shower is just gifts and the bach is just a party.

Is this rude?

Re: Is this rude?

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