Would you miss it?

louisvillebride21 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:54b55936-aa83-4b59-b5ff-321edb22a7dd">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]330-7 is way a way better reception time with no alcohol being served. Just let your guests know ahead of time that it will be a dry reception, if you're really that worried about it. Maybe they can go get a fix between the ceremony and reception if they really need it that bad.
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]
I'd consider my life pretty sad if I had to have a drink between a wedding and a reception. (Not saying you need a drink). I just can't imagine being that dependent on alcohol to have a good time.

scoetto · March 2010

Oh LVB, there are people like that. And it is sad. (And no, I don't need a drink, you hoar! :P)

louisvillebride21 · March 2010

I'm not gonna lie, I could use a drink right now! I plan on throwing down tomorrow night at a sports bar to watch the game! Wings and beer is on!

I don't know anyone like that personally, but it really blows my mind. But my real dad was extremely anit-alcohol, so that's how I was raised until I was 15. Then my adoptive parents had a real conservative view on it (a glass of wine, occasionally). I got it out of my system for about 6 months after my 21st, but now I drink socially and get actually drunk probably once every 6 months. It takes me that long to forget how sick I got the last time lol

scoetto · March 2010

We used to be heavy drinkers and were like that. Anything could trigger the "we need a drink" bug. Including boredom. Thankfully we're not like that anymore. J has been sober for over 8 mos and I enjoy an occasional drink here and there, but nowhere near as much as we used to. We went out to dinner last night and I couldn't even finish one beer.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:209a5b1e-e0cc-4a7d-8426-4c6715fb5c3e">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would miss it. Of course, I'd get over it and have a good time anyway. But I don't dance without a drink first, and I don't think that's uncommon. I agree w/PP, I'd probably stick around for an hour after the meal, and then I'd head out.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

This. I would REALLY miss it at an evening wedding, but a glass or two of something (like sangria) would be really appreciated at a Sunday afternoon wedding too. I wouldn't stay as long, that's for sure.

ChelseaBFH · March 2010

I’d probably miss it a little bit, even in the afternoon. I went to a lovely Sunday afternoon wedding where the only alcoholic drink served was mimosas – delicious, easy to make, and very appropriate for the time/day! Maybe your venue would allow you to bring your own pre-made drinks that they could pour? I know different states have different laws for bartending, but if you brought in a few pitchers of mimosas to be served along with the iced tea, your guests might appreciate having the choice (and your dance floor might be a little livelier!). And it sounds like you wouldn’t need to make very much in order to have enough.

But I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Your guests presumably know that you and your fiancé aren’t big drinkers, so why would they expect to be drinking at your wedding?

luckyme502 · March 2010

No, I wouldn't miss it at all!

Sing2phins · March 2010

The only Sunday wedding I've been to, the ceremony was at 11, I think, maybe 11:30 then an open bar/appetizer deal, then a full plated, served lunch, with whatever kind of wine you wanted (and the bar was still open). I didn't think anything of it, but everyone else's responses make me think it's outside the norm.

Anyway, I'd love a glass of something alcoholic at a wedding reception, and would probably miss it, but that's just me. If there's only 6 people on your guest list who drink regularly, it's probably not worth the cost the venue wants to charge you.

lil_miss_latinist · March 2010

I usually just lurk on this board, but I've got a question about this too. Hope you all don't mind, and I hope this isn't considered thread-jacking...

We're having a cake and punch reception, without dancing, after our 2:30 Saturday wedding; the ceremony will be at a historic house on our church's property. I cannot drink for medical reasons, and the church does not allow it anyway. However, do we need to offer an after-party of sorts where drinks would be available? Or would a suggestion as to good places in town be sufficient? I would not be able to partake, and honestly I'm not sure I could afford an after-party either, but I don't want my guests to feel like we've brought them all the way here (most guests will be OOT) and not offera chance for dancing and drinks.

TIA for your help-- I love hearing the honest answers you all give on this board!

pooh8402 · March 2010

the dry weddings I've been to, I've missed it. I wouldn't leave because of a lack of alcohol, but I probably wouldn't stay as long.

scoetto · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:a95f5478-bf60-4498-aea4-4e048aee51be">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I usually just lurk on this board, but I've got a question about this too. Hope you all don't mind, and I hope this isn't considered thread-jacking... We're having a cake and punch reception, without dancing, after our 2:30 Saturday wedding; the ceremony will be at a historic house on our church's property. I cannot drink for medical reasons, and the church does not allow it anyway. However, do we need to offer an after-party of sorts where drinks would be available? Or would a suggestion as to good places in town be sufficient? I would not be able to partake, and honestly I'm not sure I could afford an after-party either, but I don't want my guests to feel like we've brought them all the way here (most guests will be OOT) and not offera chance for dancing and drinks. TIA for your help-- I love hearing the honest answers you all give on this board!
Posted by lil_miss_latinist[/QUOTE]

We didn't have a hosted after party, but we did say "We will be going here after if you'd like to join us." And made sure the guests knew it wasn't going to be a hosted event. People did join us and had a great time. DH doesn't drink and he still went. He had fun, too.

SpceCadet · March 2010

We just got married in March on a Sunday with a late lunch reception. We provided beer, wine and alcohol in addition to juice, soda and water for 100 drinking-age adults and 30 children. I do have quite a drinking family and think my step-mother consumed 2 of the bottles of wine by herself. H's family doesn't drink much at all.

Here's the count of about what alcohol was consumed:

1/2 large bottle of vodka (used for both of our signature drinks)

12 bottles of white wine

4 bottles of red wine

0 rum (bottle still unopened)

Maybe 3 oz Johnny Walker

Maybe 3 oz Jack Daniel's

2.5 cases of beer (I think this was my brother and cousin)

FWIW, this was a whole lot less than we purchased. If there's only 6 people you think would be drinking, I think it would be acceptable to skip especially if you let those people know ahead of time.

SpceCadet · March 2010

Oh, and our reception ended over an hour before we had planned it. We did have a lot of young families and OOT people who had planned to be back to work on Monday which is why we planned for that timing. Don't be surprised if your reception doesn't last nearly as long as you had planned. I was a bit bummed it ended early, but was thankful to have been able to say goodbye to everyone.

ETTK10 · March 2010

OP- Only you know your guests and how they will feel about no alcohol. Can they still have a good time and dance without drinking? We can't answer that because we don't know your guests. My guests would not enjoy themselves, but from the sounds of it, yours would. Good luck!

sctfrk1314 · March 2010

Why is alcohol so essential to people have a good time at a party? I'm not saying I wouldn't have a glass if it was offered but I can still have a fun time hanging out without alcohol!

Even given the length of the reception I don't think you need to have alcohol. The other drinks you're offering sound great

And if the people you're inviting are your closest friends and family I don't think they'll ditch you just because the beer/wine/liquor isn't flowing. They want to be with you and celebrate with you, not drink you into the poorhouse.

chyms · March 2010

I think that I would definitely miss it! Is there an option for a consumption bar at all? At least this would give the option of having a drink for those who might like one. And once you get to a certain $$ amount, you can cut it off. Otherwise, I agree that I would probably also leave early.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:33dca20b-158e-416f-8591-b246c2caf9d6">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you miss it? : Yes but it's not Sunday at 11am. It's 3:30p. I think I would think it strange if there was no alcohol. Sunday or even Saturday morning I could understand.

I actually think more importantly, if OP thinks only 6 out of 75 people are going to miss it, then it's not necessary at all. But those 6 people might think it strange.
Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]
For the most part, I agree with this. But I don't drink, so I'm with the 69 people that wouldn't really notice.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:d40d5a08-d1dc-47eb-b69f-968e22d2d4f8">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]We used to be heavy drinkers and were like that. Anything could trigger the "we need a drink" bug. Including boredom. Thankfully we're not like that anymore. J has been sober for over 8 mos and I enjoy an occasional drink here and there, but nowhere near as much as we used to. We went out to dinner last night and I couldn't even finish one beer.
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]
Congratulations, J!

amagwire · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:6f9fd4bc-6743-4e8f-a53d-bef1ed38471a">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is alcohol so essential to people have a good time at a party? I'm not saying I wouldn't have a glass if it was offered but I can still have a fun time hanging out without alcohol! Even given the length of the reception I don't think you need to have alcohol. The other drinks you're offering sound great :) And if the people you're inviting are your closest friends and family I don't think they'll ditch you just because the beer/wine/liquor isn't flowing. They want to be with you and celebrate with you, not drink you into the poorhouse.
Posted by sctfrk1314[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think it's essential to having a good time. At least not in my case, but yes - I would miss the beer or wine that I would have gladly consumed at the wedding. For some people it's like, Oh, they didn't do the bouquet toss...bummer! For me, and others, I'd think: Oh they don't have any alcohol....bummer! But it's not going to annoy me. It's not going to have the same spirit of celebration in my opinion. I suppose, to each her own, but in my circle of friends and family, having a cocktail or glass of wine at a celebration is the norm. For some people, true - they cannot relax without drink in hand. </div>

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:6f9fd4bc-6743-4e8f-a53d-bef1ed38471a">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Why is alcohol so essential to people have a good time at a party?</strong> I'm not saying I wouldn't have a glass if it was offered but I can still have a fun time hanging out without alcohol! Even given the length of the reception I don't think you need to have alcohol. The other drinks you're offering sound great :) And if the people you're inviting are your closest friends and family I don't think they'll ditch you just because the beer/wine/liquor isn't flowing. They want to be with you and celebrate with you, not drink you into the poorhouse.
Posted by sctfrk1314[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not essential. But it is a social lubricant and part of our culture. When people celebrate, they enjoy having a drink. Why is food essential to people having a good time? It isn't, but it's just what people like to do when they celebrate. </div>

Sarah&Nick0530 · March 2010

I wouldn't miss it--esp. 'cause it's a Sunday afternoon. My guests are screwed...there's no room in the budget for alcohol, so they get tea, punch, lemonade and coffee. lol

Tula214 · March 2010

you dont have to pay for everyone to get drunk

t.kaufman · March 2010

Agree with PP - that is a very long reception to have no alcohol. If you were serving food at 3:30 and the reception ended an hour or two later... then it might be okay to not have alcohol. But if you expect dancing and partying, alcohol is kinda necessary for a lot of us. Also, just because only 6 people in your guest list drink regularly, doesn't mean there aren't other guests who might like to drink occassionally, or at least at weddings. As long as you know your crowd, I'm sure you'll be fine. But I would definitely see if your venue can provide wine, punch, or a signature drink or some sort of option for people who would prefer a little alcohol.

Dae27 · March 2010

I am not having alcohol for two reasons, I don't drink and if I used to drink - that would be a gr8 way to cut costs. I'm having non-alcoholic drinks and a signature non-alco cocktail/drink. Who wants to drink will have to purchase it for them selves.

lyndausvi · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-miss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06ca1841-2d34-483c-9616-5cb628d71e2ePost:9899d275-2605-4394-a339-9c10073ad7d9">Re: Would you miss it?</a>:
[QUOTE]you dont have to pay for everyone to get drunk
Posted by Tula214[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry comments like that just bug the shiit out of me. Not everyone gets wasted at weddings. There are people who are able to have a drink or 2 without getting drunk. Even if 1 or 2 does get drunk I do not see it as a reason to tell the other 99% of the guest list they can not drink because of the actions of one or 2.

tommyandy · March 2010

Sns3: Would your venue do a white sangria? (white wine, pineapple juice, white grape juice, white cranberry juice, pear or peach juice & sprite or ginger ale) This works well without the wine too.

Lil_miss_latinist: I would do an after-party just so I could spend more time with my guests in a relaxed atmosphere. Plan for it to start around 7pm. This way everybody can go 'home' & change into more comfortable clothes, nap, etc. This also gives you some private time to spend with your Husband & to get more pictures done. I would have it at home or a family members house. Who has the best outdoor space? I would also take the leftover wedding cake there. The food menu should be super simple: chips & salsa, veggie tray, crock-pot of meatballs, etc. Or what ever it is that usually gets served at summer parties in your area. Google 'young house love' for ideas.

repjr · March 2010

Is there an option to have a cash bar? So the guests that DO want to partake in a drink can just buy one themselves? You can let them know beforehand, too, so that they bring plenty of money.

ellen73 · March 2010

One of my good friends had a Sunday reception last summer- and the only reason I missed the alcohol is b/c I wanted a drink to calm my nerves before seeing my then ex (now fiance) at the wedding for the first time since we had broken up 6 months before! She may have actually had alcohol- I can't remember- but I didn't drink any b/c I had to drive 6 hours that night.

PDXMartha · March 2010

Sunday would be the day I'd least expect it, if that helps.
Truthfully, any time I go to a wedding where there is no wine or no champagne I figure the hosts are just cheap. Sorry. It's a celebration, and in this culture, it's common.
I've been to weddings where there was no alcohol, but there were toasts - we had to toast with water. It seemed odd to me, as a guest.
We're having beer, wine, and a champagne toast.
On the other hand, wedding receptions are not drunken free-for alls or some club - the point is to celebrate with loved ones and have fun, not to get drunk.

Freckles03 · March 2010

I would totally miss it and I agree that you cant expect everyone to stay that long. I am sure it will be fun but I do not in any way see it lasting longer than maybe 7. Even just a glass of wine per person makes them a little loser and more comfortable to mingle, chat, and dance. Not saying everyone has to get wasted but it is definitely a little icebreaker. I know it would make me want to stick around a little longer. Think you should have it-even if it is on a Sunday. Thats just my opinion.

Would you miss it?

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