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Invite attire requirements ???

foralltime144foralltime144 member
Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
O

k so I am NO BRIDEZILLA, well at least I dont think so but I have
always wanted a black formal attire wedding. But not gonna get it since the soon
to be is against everyone dressed like its a funeral. However my wedding venue
has hosted tons of hollywood elite and weddings wrap up parties and has a
phenomenal view. Is there a wrong or right way to tell guess to refrain from
wearing ivory or white ? and perhaps the wedding colors which are teal and
champagne ??


Help I would rather Just tell guest deep fall color
formal attire encouraged. so they stay away from lighter colors ? but then teal
is fall too

eeekkkk help !!!

Thanks


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Re: Invite attire requirements ???

  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:05e0d5fb-d3ef-469d-9e3a-63a0598746ff">Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok so I am NO BRIDEZILLA, well at least I dont think so but I have always wanted a black formal attire wedding. But not gonna get it since the soon to be is against everyone dressed like its a funeral. However my wedding venue has hosted tons of hollywood elite and weddings wrap up parties and has a phenomenal view. Is there a wrong or right way to tell guess to refrain from wearing ivory or white ? and perhaps the wedding colors which are teal and champagne ?? Help I would rather Just tell guest deep fall color formal attire encouraged. so they stay away from lighter colors ? but then teal is fall too eeekkkk help !!! Thanks
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]


    Unless you are having a formal black tie wedding, you can NOT tell people how to dress.  Most wedding guests know better than to wear white or ivory.  

    Your invitation will relay the formality of the wedding. Once people see the invitation, and see the venue location, they will hopefully get the message about the formality. Other than that, there is absolutely no polite way to tell grown people how to dress.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    No, you can't tell your guests what to wear (or what not to wear) UNLESS you are having a black-tie wedding, or your venue has a specific dress code (like jackets/ties for men or ladies must have their shoulders covered).   

    Your guests will take their cue of what to wear from your invitatinos.  More formal invitations = a more formal event = more formal attire.   If you put teal on your invitations, some guests may realize this is one of your wedding colors and they won't wear it.  But they might not.  I mean, so what if they DO wear teal?  Is that such a huge deal?   Also, MOST guests know not to wear white or ivory to a wedding.
    DSC_9275
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    The invitation sets the tone for the formality of the wedding. If you want black tie formal, create a wedding website with wedding details, and include an insert for the adress in your invite. The invite itself should mention nothing about clothes. And please keep in mind that telling your guests what colors to wear and how to dress is deeply deeply rude and insulting. You can tell your bridal party what color to wear, nobody else. Please don't do it, people may decline to attend just because of how offensive it is. I would.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:05e0d5fb-d3ef-469d-9e3a-63a0598746ff">Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok so I am NO BRIDEZILLA, well at least I dont think so but I have always wanted a black formal attire wedding. But not gonna get it since the soon to be is against everyone dressed like its a funeral. However my wedding venue has hosted tons of hollywood elite and weddings wrap up parties and has a phenomenal view. Is there a wrong or right way to tell guess to refrain from wearing ivory or white ? and perhaps the wedding colors which are teal and champagne ?? Help I would rather Just tell guest deep fall color formal attire encouraged. so they stay away from lighter colors ? but then teal is fall too eeekkkk help !!! Thanks
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    cmg is right. The only way to tell people how to dress is if the event is black tie (put invited unless the venue says required) or if there is a requirement by the venue (jackets/ collared shirts at country clubs)

    Guests will know not to wear white or anything like white to a wedding (and if they wear white, the'll look stupid, especially if its a fall wedding). Just make sure your invitation conveys the colors with chamagne and teal designs.

    As I've read from other posters in previous threads, a agree that (not direct quote) " You're guests aren't props, they're adults and know how to dress themselves properly, and if they don't know how, they'll look like fools. If you want people to look coordinated for your wedding, just hire actors to stand in for pictures"

    To want these things for a few minutes is fine, but you need to realize that those dreams are unreasonable and then move on because I'm sure you have more important things to worry about. 
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    thanks guys !!! I just know ive been to weddings and tons of them and i have seen the girl or two who wears white with a black belt and that to me is tacky !!! ya i guess your right i just want the girls to stand out because they may be wearing taupe just not sure yet :) either way should be fun
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:94e7b738-a153-42e9-9471-30842c4cf6bd">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]thanks guys !!! I just know ive been to weddings and tons of them and i have seen the girl or two who wears white with a black belt and that to me is tacky !!! ya i guess your right i just want the girls to stand out because they may be wearing taupe just not sure yet :) either way should be fun
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Yes! SHE was the tacky one. Was the bride or groom tacky for not conveying to the guest that they shouldn't wear white to a wedding? Probably not. It won't be your fault and the guest who does this will be the tacky one.
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:8b804508-5b7d-456c-b0af-4c1cd06c6cbe">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Invite attire requirements ??? : cmg is right. The only way to tell people how to dress is if the event is black tie (put invited unless the venue says required) or if there is a requirement by the venue (jackets/ collared shirts at country clubs) Guests will know not to wear white or anything like white to a wedding (and if they wear white, the'll look stupid, especially if its a fall wedding). Just make sure your invitation conveys the colors with chamagne and teal designs. As I've read from other posters in previous threads, a agree that (not direct quote) " You're guests aren't props, they're adults and know how to dress themselves properly, and if they don't know how, they'll look like fools. If you want people to look coordinated for your wedding, just hire actors to stand in for pictures" To want these things for a few minutes is fine, but you need to realize that those dreams are unreasonable and then move on because I'm sure you have more important things to worry about. 
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]


    stand ins ?

    that sounds ridiculous i was merely asking for advice not for an insulting backlash !
    either way i had my engagement session in nyc and im sure theyll see by just that this wedding is definitely going to be gala formal so i will hope they wont wear ivory or white

    thank you all for the responses i now know to NOT tell my guests what to wear lol lets just hope the security does his job before he lets them up the elevator lol !


    ill keep the invite informative of the itinerary and not include a specific dress code ill just have them note formal attire required
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:94e7b738-a153-42e9-9471-30842c4cf6bd">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]thanks guys !!! I just know ive been to weddings and tons of them and i have seen the girl or two who wears white with a black belt and that to me is tacky !!! ya i guess your right i just want the girls to stand out because they may be wearing taupe just not sure yet :) either way should be fun
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]


    Anyone who wears white to a wedding is tacky.  Let that person just stand there in her tackiness while everyone else looks and snickers "who is THAT tacky biatch?" 

    Your Bridesmaids will stand out because they are walking up the aisle with you and holding a bouquet.  That's all they will need to stand out.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:35c0e896-c6a6-4cfc-b0f6-d30ad11035be">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : stand ins ? that sounds ridiculous i was merely asking for advice not for an insulting backlash ! either way i had my engagement session in nyc and im sure theyll see by just that this wedding is definitely going to be gala formal so i will hope they wont wear ivory or white thank you all for the responses i now know to NOT tell my guests what to wear lol lets just hope the security does his job before he lets them up the elevator lol ! ill keep the invite informative of the itinerary and not include a specific dress code<strong><u> ill just have them note formal attire required
    </u></strong>Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Wait, what??  How are you planning to note "formal attire required"?  

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:7054363c-62d6-486a-ab00-a752e6756d05">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Wait, what??  How are you planning to note "formal attire required"?  
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    at the bottom ill just note

    ill ask the invite designer she works with tons of ppl im sure shell have a good way of putting it
    like
    Formal Attired Encouraged or This event is blah blah lol
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  • rsannarsanna member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:29719812-7648-462f-9e8b-cf5841bd71d7">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : at the bottom ill just note ill ask the invite designer she works with tons of ppl im sure shell have a good way of putting it like Formal Attired Encouraged or This event is blah blah lol
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Umm, that is still telling your grown adult guests what to wear.
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:29719812-7648-462f-9e8b-cf5841bd71d7">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : at the bottom ill just note ill ask the invite designer she works with tons of ppl im sure shell have a good way of putting it like Formal Attired Encouraged or This event is blah blah lol
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    um. no.  That's the whole point people are making above.  Unless you are having a BLACK TIE event, OR your venue has a specific requirement. (Like, men won't be allowed in without jackets, or the church won't let ladies in with strapless dresses), giving any instructions for attire or dress code is RUDE.  Do not put "formal attire encouraged".... or any instructions at all about what people are supposed to wear.  Again, they are not props. They are your guests.

    The FORMALITY of the invitation is what defines what people will wear. Not the wording on the invitation.  People will figure it out based on the formality of the invite and the location of the venue.  For example, if I got an invitation that invited me to a wedding at a VFW hall, I might go casual. If I get invited to a wedding at a grand ballroom, I will wear something more formal.

    Give your guests some credit.  They aren't going to show up in a tshirt and jeans to your wedding. And, honestly, if they do... you probably won't care.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:29719812-7648-462f-9e8b-cf5841bd71d7">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : at the bottom ill just note ill ask the invite designer she works with tons of ppl im sure shell have a good way of putting it like Formal Attired Encouraged or This event is blah blah lol
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    No to everything above!  As PP said, the only time you can mention a dress code is if the event is Black Tie Formal.  Your wedding is not, so don't insult your guests by even suggesting how to dress!
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Ill just have someone spread the word that this place is fancy old hollywood glamour that is what the venue is , a rooftop penthouse ... i should just tell them its 1940s themed then well leave it at that LOL

    although i dont wanna go that route ill just have to figure things out
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  • SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:236ffe39-6a0d-46cc-ba2c-3ec704b854e6">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ill just have someone spread the word that this place is fancy old hollywood glamour that is what the venue is , a rooftop penthouse ... i should just tell them its 1940s themed then well leave it at that LOL although i dont wanna go that route ill just have to figure things out
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    <div>If someone told me the wedding was 1940's themed, that would have no influence on what I wear. I agree with everyone else: you can't give your guests a dress code. And if you did, you'd be putting a lot of pressure on them. What exactly is formal? What if every guest doesn't have enough money to buy something completely new? At the end of the day, it does not matter what your guests wear. It's really not worth stressing over. </div>
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    at 150$ perperson im sure theyll ask the groom of the mother and wedding party how this place is since theyve never heard of it ... after seeing all the responses i decided not to go with any directions on how to dress and just hope someone tells everyone how its fancy lol ...
    thanks and good day

    ive seen weddings with invites on formal attire encouraged and it came out lovely nobody wore anything gross so im hoping nobody does im sure they wont but probably just freaking out lol
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:236ffe39-6a0d-46cc-ba2c-3ec704b854e6">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ill just have someone spread the word that this place is fancy old hollywood glamour that is what the venue is , a rooftop penthouse ... i should just tell them its 1940s themed then well leave it at that LOL although i dont wanna go that route ill just have to figure things out
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Just worry about what you and the wedding party is wearing, and stop stressing about what your guests are wearing.  If you can't afford or your FI doesn't want a formal black tie affair, then stop stressing.

    And, I agree with PP.  Knowing that something is "hollywood glamour" themed, would have absolutely no significance to me.  I would probably just wear a season appropriate dress.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    okie dokie !!!
    this where i think black formal attire would of made everyone happy lol !
    Report Reply
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:1b4aae62-b388-4136-93c0-e171133d2b20">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]at 150$ perperson im sure theyll ask the groom of the mother and wedding party how this place is since theyve never heard of it ... after seeing all the responses i decided not to go with any directions on how to dress and just hope someone tells everyone how its fancy lol ... thanks and good day <strong>ive seen weddings with invites on formal attire encouraged</strong> and it came out lovely nobody wore anything gross so im hoping nobody does im sure they wont but probably just freaking out lol
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Whoever sent those invitations were rude.  And just because you didn't side-eye it, doesn't mean that other people weren't offended.

    And, no one knows or cares that youa re paying $150 a person for your wedding. And, doing so was YOUR choice, not your guests' choice.   You cannot require or even ask people to dress a certain way because you decided to spend $150 a person.

    I'm sorry, but I don't think you realize what a spoiled brat you are sounding like right now.  You started this post with "I'm not a bridezilla but... "    I'm guessing you probably at least realize a little bit how demanding and bratty you are sounding, or you wouldn't have felt the need for the disclaimer.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

    Report Reply
  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:1b4aae62-b388-4136-93c0-e171133d2b20">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>at 150$ perperson im sure theyll ask the groom of the mother and wedding party how this place is since theyve never heard of it </strong>... after seeing all the responses i decided not to go with any directions on how to dress and just hope someone tells everyone how its fancy lol ... thanks and good day <strong>ive seen weddings with invites on formal attire encouraged and it came out lovely </strong>nobody wore anything gross so im hoping nobody does im sure they wont but probably just freaking out lol
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    What is this supposed to mean?  Why would they even know its $150 per person? 
    So if they jumped off a bridge, would you?  Just because they did it, does not make it right.  Oh, and Is your security detail really not going to let people in if they're in white/ivory?
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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:f933ee3c-5642-4f05-a5f3-357634ddd45e">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Whoever sent those invitations were rude.  And just because you didn't side-eye it, doesn't mean that other people weren't offended. And, no one knows or cares that youa re paying $150 a person for your wedding. And, doing so was YOUR choice, not your guests' choice.   You cannot require or even ask people to dress a certain way because you decided to spend $150 a person. I'm sorry, but I don't think you realize what a spoiled brat you are sounding like right now.  <strong>You started this post with "I'm not a bridezilla but... "    I'm guessing you probably at least realize a little bit how demanding and bratty you are sounding, or you wouldn't have felt the need for the disclaimer.</strong>
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE

    All of THIS!
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:68fdcc9d-cd0e-48e8-b85e-9fe2289ab790">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Just worry about what you and the wedding party is wearing, and stop stressing about what your guests are wearing.  If you can't afford or your FI doesn't want a formal black tie affair, then stop stressing. And, I agree with PP.  Knowing that something is "hollywood glamour" themed, would have absolutely no significance to me.  I would probably just wear a season appropriate dress.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    ok so my boss just seen me on this site and hes all get back to work then i asked his perspective and he said he wouldnt get insulted if he got a invite that said formal attire required he said that just means everyone will come in tux's and gowns and i said ok sounds right ... he said i should find another word adjacent to formal but hes been to plenty of invites that have certain or different dress codes

    so what do you guys think ?
    Report Reply
  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:a9d8eba7-cbfb-41ec-b856-2af06baf4143">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : ok so my boss just seen me on this site and hes all get back to work then i asked his perspective and he said he wouldnt get insulted if he got a invite that said formal attire required he said that just means everyone will come in tux's and gowns and i said ok sounds right ... he said i should find another word adjacent to formal but hes been to plenty of invites that have certain or different dress codes so what do you guys think ?
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    Well, you are obviously going to do what you want, so you should go all out and send a detailed list of what is acceptable and what is not.  Maybe even ask them to send a pic of their outfit with their rsvp card, so you can approve.  Tada, problem solved.
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  • SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:a9d8eba7-cbfb-41ec-b856-2af06baf4143">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : ok so my boss just seen me on this site and hes all get back to work then i asked his perspective and he said he wouldnt get insulted if he got a invite that said formal attire required he said that just means everyone will come in tux's and gowns and i said ok sounds right ... he said i should find another word adjacent to formal but hes been to plenty of invites that have certain or different dress codes so what do you guys think ?
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]

    <div>Aren't tuxes and gowns considered black tie? If someone told me to dress formal, I'd never wear a gown. Ever. And I wouldn't tell my FI to rent a tux either. He'd wear a suit and I tie and I'd wear a cocktail dress. I guess formal means something different to everyone.</div>
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:bd01b5e1-5740-448e-9366-53ecf249d605">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Whoever sent those invitations were rude.  And just because you didn't side-eye it, doesn't mean that other people weren't offended. And, no one knows or cares that youa re paying $150 a person for your wedding. And, doing so was YOUR choice, not your guests' choice.   You cannot require or even ask people to dress a certain way because you decided to spend $150 a person. I'm sorry, but I don't think you realize what a spoiled brat you are sounding like right now.  You started this post with "I'm not a bridezilla but... "    I'm guessing you probably at least realize a little bit how demanding and bratty you are sounding, or you wouldn't have felt the need for the disclaimer. Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE All of THIS!
    Posted by LiLe422[/QUOTE]



    its just a question on how to ask guests to dress .... i dont want someone wearing white who does do you ?? i dont want them wearing the bridal party colors... and that is that lol .. there really is no right or wrong way but when your spending alot of money guess its just a few requests that should be considered in a event like this granted my soon to be and i have been dating for 12 yrs so guess he was right dont put it on the invite and hell tell individuals himself so that way they know and i know how much it is to attend a wedding i had to wear a certain color to one " so their pictures came out nice " the guests were asked to wear certain colors every bride asked for something different i paid to fly to a wedding i paid for gifts before and after the wedding and for a outfit everyone does its not a big deal i
    WAS JUST ASKING WHAT WOULD BE A NICE WAY TO WORD IT ....

    I think its comical how you all assume certain things but if i didnt want to put myself out there i would not have .... ill just stick to telling that few handful what the dress code is and leave it at that

    THANKS !!! :)
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    I think if you're having a black tie event, list it on the bottom of the invitation. If it isn't black tie, then don't mention attire. If you want formal attire, start a grass-roots campaign with mom/fmil/bm's/siblings/friends. I think most guys (at least where I'm from) wear suits and women wear cocktail dresses which is standard semi formal. It's not super glamorous, but  its not the guests' wedding- they just need to dress appropriately, not super fancy.

    Why don't you create a wedding website and list the location there. Throw up some pictures on there  of other formal parties (black tie ones?) so people can get a gist of the type of place it is. People will be able to see the location's website and wear what they think is appropriate. You may still end up with a guy in worn out kahkis or a girl in a white cotton sundress.

    You didn't have to choose this venue, but you did, so the $$/head is all on you.

    And "stand ins" isn't backlash- it's a summation of what I've seen on here countless times through different boards and threads. I'm saving YOU backlash.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:33049010-5fd6-4850-b34c-82f27a8a3833">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if you're having a black tie event, list it on the bottom of the invitation. If it isn't black tie, then don't mention attire. If you want formal attire, start a grass-roots campaign with mom/fmil/bm's/siblings/friends. I think most guys (at least where I'm from) wear suits and women wear cocktail dresses which is standard semi formal. It's not super glamorous, but  its not the guests' wedding- they just need to dress appropriately, not super fancy. Why don't you create a wedding website and list the location there. Throw up some pictures on there  of other formal parties (black tie ones?) so people can get a gist of the type of place it is. People will be able to see the location's website and wear what they think is appropriate. You may still end up with a guy in worn out kahkis or a girl in a white cotton sundress. You didn't have to choose this venue, but you did, so the $$/head is all on you. And "stand ins" isn't backlash- it's a summation of what I've seen on here countless times through different boards and threads. I'm saving YOU backlash.
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]


    Thank you I will do that ... Ill show pictures of the place on the site and then theyll know

    Sounds like a great idea ! :)
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:1635ad01-edd1-44f5-af10-3043cc699fd6">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Thank you I will do that ... Ill show pictures of the place on the site and then theyll know Sounds like a great idea ! :)
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]


    It's a continuation of the "show, don't tell" rule of writing a good story. Don't tell your guests how they should dress, show them. Don't plaster your page with them, but 1-2 would suffice, and include a link to the venue's website <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:bc692ec4-6c53-4c1a-a3ca-11e09d85eb8f">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : its just a question on how to ask guests to dress .... i dont want someone wearing white who does do you ?? i dont want them wearing the bridal party colors... and that is that lol .. <strong>there really is no right or wrong way but when your spending alot of money guess its just a few requests that should be considered in a event </strong>like this granted my soon to be and i have been dating for 12 yrs so guess he was right dont put it on the invite and hell tell individuals himself so that way they know and i know how much it is to attend a wedding i had to wear a certain color to one " so their pictures came out nice " the guests were asked to wear certain colors every bride asked for something different i paid to fly to a wedding i paid for gifts before and after the wedding and for a outfit everyone does its not a big deal i<strong> WAS JUST ASKING WHAT WOULD BE A NICE WAY TO WORD IT</strong> .... I think its comical how you all assume certain things but if i didnt want to put myself out there i would not have .... ill just stick to telling that few handful what the dress code is and leave it at that THANKS !!! :)
    Posted by foralltime144[/QUOTE]


    Omg. you are ridiculous.   You are clearly going to do what you want, even though every single person here has told you it is rude and completely against etiquette to even remotely tell your guests how to dress. 

    To the first bolded part... there IS a right and a wrong way to do it.  The WRONG way is to tell people what to wear and what not to wear.  The right way is to trust that your guests know better than to wear a white gown to a wedding (they won't).  And to tell them to go out and buy a gown or rent a tux.  You said earlier your guests weren't props, but everything you are saying indicates that you ARE using them as props.

    To the second bolded part.  There is NO "nice" way to word it.  It's rude.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • foralltime144foralltime144 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-attire-requirements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5fb7a84-0e79-4b30-abfd-75e204e6071fPost:f4f6ce6d-de57-427c-9a40-1018d860cb15">Re: Invite attire requirements ???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invite attire requirements ??? : Omg. you are ridiculous.   You are clearly going to do what you want, even though every single person here has told you it is rude and completely against etiquette to even remotely tell your guests how to dress.  To the first bolded part... there IS a right and a wrong way to do it.  The WRONG way is to tell people what to wear and what not to wear.  The right way is to trust that your guests know better than to wear a white gown to a wedding (they won't).  And to tell them to go out and buy a gown or rent a tux.  You said earlier your guests weren't props, but everything you are saying indicates that you ARE using them as props. To the second bolded part.  There is NO "nice" way to word it.  It's rude.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]


    I am not gonna do what i want maybe if you would of read the post above you i am going to do what someone else suggested post pics of the venue on my site and theyll get the hint from there

    geeeessshhh !
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