Hi ladies, this is my first post on this board but I would really love to hear your opinions on this.
CN: I'm protestant, FI is Catholic. I was previously married, and the Archdiocese has received all testimony, etc for my annulment. The priest judging my case just sent a second request for my release of mental health records from the counselor I saw at the end of the marriage. I'm trying to politely decline, I feel like the testimony should be enough. Do you think that will be construed as trying to hide something / uncooperative?
The long story: I was married for four years previously. My ex-husband and I had our whole lives planned out before we even got married. we knew our exact career and financial goals, how we were going to achieve them, and when we were going to start our family. Except, when we got to the starting the family part of the plan, he had changed his mind, telling me he didn't want to have kids. This wasn't the entire reason we split up, but was the straw that broke the camels back. He treated our marriage like, well now you're stuck with me I don't have to try to put any effort into our relationship because you can't leave.
I started seeing a therapist because my unhappiness with my marriage was spreading to the rest of my life and I was just kind of universally miserable and depressed. My therapist was actually recommended to me by my EAP at my job at the time. She specialized in job-related issues, and career guidance, communication at work, separating work life from personal, that kind of thing. But through my sessions with her, I was really able to realize that the deteriorating relationship with my husband was the reason for my unhappiness. I eventually gave him an ultimatum - that he go to counseling with me so we could figure out how to make our marriage work, or we split up. He chose divorce. With the benefit of hindsight, I'm relatively certain that the reason for his choice, as well as the lack of interest in me or our relationship was because he was cheating on me. His girlfriend got pregnant about a week after we separated... pretty weird for a guy with no interest in physical intimacy / having children, right?
Fast forward a few years, I have this amazing fiance, and he is Catholic. He actually told me on our first date that if we get married it has to be in the Catholic Church. We've always gotten conflicting information whether I need an annulment - ex-H was never baptized in any church, I'm not catholic, and we were married by a JP. When fiance and I got engaged and talked to our parish priest about setting our date - we were told then it's "short form" to ask the bishop for permission to marry. We found out a few months later that I'd actually need an annulment and started that process in June.
I've been incredibly lucky so far - the priest at our parish feels terrible about giving us the wrong advice to begin with and has helped to rush the process so we can still get married in December. But I feel like asking for my mental health records is WAY too invasive. The process is already so intrusive to me, and asking for my therapist's records is going too far, in my opinion. I think the testimony provided by me and my witnesses should be enough. Particularly since my therapist never even met my ex-H.
Am I being uncooperative / stubborn for feeling like getting the notes from my therapy sessions is just a little too much? I was originally told by the archdiocese that I could decline without it affecting my case, but the sister I spoke with today said that if there's a second request it's probably for a good reason. If I am being unreasonable to decline to provide this info, can you make a good argument for why I should sign the release?
TIA.
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